50: Rules vs Boundaries vs Agreements: How to Set Your Non-Monogamous Relationships Up for Success

Are you putting in effort to keep your sex life 🌶spicyyy or just waiting and wishing for things to change on their own?  This is the final instalment of our podcast series the 5 Ways to Reignite the 🔥Fire in Long-Term Relationships where we cover the 5th way: Doing something different that takes deliberate effort. Because epic relationships, awesome adventures and 🔥hot sex lives don't just appear out of thin air! If you missed the first 3 parts of the series we covered: ✅ Having some distance and spend time apart ✅ Being Present - physically, emotionally and sexually ✅ Interrupting patterns and routines ✅Increasing sexual and erotic energy We recap these in this episode and give more examples too! Here's the link to our Let's Talk Polyamory Private Facebook Group where you can share your ideas on what keeps the fire alive in your relationships or start a discussion on a topic of your choice! https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly Find out more about us and the services we offer as well as access some other great resources at: ⁠https://www.taraandandre.com/⁠ If you want to talk to us about what's going on in your relationships and what options there are to get support in addressing issues you're struggling with, book a complimentary call with Tara. She'll make sure you leave with the next step you can take to take towards what you want. https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue

22 Huhti 202425min

What gets you hot and bothered in the bedroom? In this episode we are continuing our discussion of the 5 Ways to Reignite the 🔥Fire in Long Term Relationships with #4... Increasing sexual and erotic energy! So how exactly do you do that? Maybe it’s being touched somewhere unusual where you’re  not normally touched, or that you don’t normally think of as an erogenous zone?  Like the side of your ankle which André shares a story about.  Or maybe it is something that allows you to prepare and get warmed up for intimacy which Tara shares. We talk about all these things as well as concepts, like responsive desire and how to utilize that and other things to get things hot again! If you missed parts 1 and 2 we talked about: ✅ Having some distance and spending time apart ✅ Being present which includes being physically, emotionally and sexually present with our partners ✅  Interrupting Patterns and Routines If you want to talk to us about what's going on in your relationships and what options there are to get support, book a relationship rescue call with Tara here: https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue Find out more about us and the services we offer as well as access some other great resources at: https://www.taraandandre.com/ The lifestyle/sex/libertine club we referenced in the podcast is Club L in Montréal, Quebec, Canada. You can find out more about them at https://www.leclubl.com/ The life-changing Cervix Wand that Tara refers in this episode can be found on https://waands.com/products/cervix-wand?ref=taraandandre and you can enter the code TARALYNNEFRANCO to get a 10% discount.

15 Huhti 202438min

When we are in longer-term relationships we can have so many amazing things - security, safety, familiarity and predictability and a safe haven. However, these things we love can be the very things that can dampen the mystery, intrigue, excitement and longing that are strong foundations for desire and eroticism.  Hence why it is so important to find ways of keeping the excitement alive in our relationship.  In Part 1 of The 5 Ways to Reignite the Fire in Long-Term Relationships we spoke of the first two things: ✅ Having some distance and spending time apart ✅ Being present which includes being physically, emotionally and sexually present with our partners In this episode we continue with the 3rd thing you can do: ✅  Interrupting Patterns and Routines If you want to talk to us about what's going on in your relationships and what options there are to get support, book a relationship rescue call here - https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue

8 Huhti 202446min

We often expect our partner to be both our best friend and erotic partner. But these two needs often push against each other.  On the one hand, we need security, safety, familiarity and predictability and a safe haven and secure base. But we also need adventure, unpredictability, mystery and surprise which is what ⛽️fuels sexual energy! Join us, your hosts and coaching and therapist duo T&A -Tara and André as we discuss desire in relationships in Part one of: The 5 Ways to REIGNITE 🔥FIRE in Long-Term Relationships! In this episode we cover the first two ways: ✅ Have some distance and spend time apart ✅ Being Present We also touch on our attachment patterns and how they impact relationships as well as resentments and how they can build and hurt our connection with our partners! If you need support in addressing decreased desire or navigating your open or polyamorous relationships we can help! Book a complimentary Relationship Rescue Consultation Call with Tara and find out how you can navigate your open relationship with ease & pleasure using our proven Securely Polyamorous Framework™. https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue or check out our website at https://www.taraandandre.com/ for information on our programs and services.

31 Maalis 202456min

Whenever you try something new, you’re bound to make some mistakes or literally “step in it” as you try to figure out what to do and not to do. This is especially the case when there are people, relationships and feelings involved - like when you’re navigating the complexities of polyamorous relationships which requires a unique set of skills, insights and things to consider. In this podcast episode, we discuss the essential essential ✅ Do's and 🛑 Don'ts of Polyamory - from parking your ego at the door and taking responsibility for your actions and feelings, to not comparing yourself to others or using polyamory as an excuse to do whatever you want. This episode was inspired by someone André is working with and supporting their transition to consensual non-monogamy (and other things) who mentioned that they are reading The Polyamory Workbook: An Interactive Guide to Setting Boundaries, Communicating Your Needs, and Building Secure, Healthy Open Relationships by Sarah Youngblood Gregory. In the book Sarah has a graphic of some high level do’s and don’ts which we break down and provide our thoughts! We also add some of our own! Check out our website at https://www.taraandandre.com/ to find out how to join our online community and learn more about about our coaching and therapy services, our digital course Poly Newbies as well as how you can book a complimentary consultation call.

25 Maalis 202454min

Our individual attachment style influences how we react when we experience separation, threat, or pressure in a relationship. This can look like being perfectly fine to being clingy, impulsive, to overwhelmed or pushing others away.  Opening a relationship or becoming polyamorous can activate our primary (or default/dominant) attachment style and patterns, especially if they are one of the 3 insecure styles. In this episode we explore attachment theory in the context of consensual non-monogamous relationships and discuss: The four main attachment styles and their origins How our attachment influenced us first as children and then in our adult relationships. How these styles may manifest differently in multiple relationships. And recommendations on how to move towards learned secure attachment. And speaking of that… this week we have a special free WORKSHEET to help you do just that! You can sign up to get it at https://go.taraandandre.com/gettheworksheet You can discover your attachment style through one of these quizzes: https://traumasolutions.com/attachment-styles-quiz/  https://quiz.attachmentproject.com/ https://www.web-research-design.net/cgi-bin/crq/crq.pl  Get Support: Book a complimentary Relationship Rescue Consultation Call with Tara and find out how you can navigate your open relationship with ease & pleasure using our proven Securely Polyamorous Framework™. https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue or check out our website at https://www.taraandandre.com/ for information on our programs and services.

18 Maalis 202435min

It’s one thing to find yourself in a place where you feel that monogamy may not be a fit for you, but a whole other thing to figure out what exactly is.In this episode of the Let’s Talk Polyamory podcast we walk through the different styles of consensually non-monogamy from monogamish, swinging and open relationships, to polyamory, relationship anarchy and everything in between.We uncover the nuances and possibilities within each style helping you navigate your personal journey of finding the right fit for your relationship preferences.We share our thoughts and reflections of how our style has changed over time and how we aren’t just one, but many different styles and that’s totally cool!Plus, we offer up some questions you can ask yourself to figure out what’s right for you including what level of emotional or sexual exclusivity you’re looking for. All these questions are in a free worksheet you can sign up for at: https://worksheet.letstalkpolyamory.com/cnmstyleIf you have a burning question, want to talk to us about our programs or how you can work with us so that you can master your open or polyamorous relationship, you can book a 15 minute coffee chat with Tara at https://go.taraandandre.com/15mincoffeechat.Check out our website at https://www.taraandandre.com/⁠.for information about about our coaching programs and services and how to get other great stuff!

11 Maalis 202445min

Are you exploring consensual non-monogamy (CNM) and finding yourself overwhelmed by the tide of tough emotions? Perhaps you constantly feel like you're putting out the latest emotional fire, and being polyamorous or in an open relationship isn't unfolding quite as you had imagined. There’s heartaches, self-doubt, arguments, jealousy, frustration and more. If any of these resonate with you, this episode on ⭐️HOW TO SUCCEED AS A POLY NEWBIE⭐️ is just for you! In this episode, we delve into the seven essential elements that serve as the foundation for success as a poly newbie. We share advice on: How to have effective communication The importance of knowing what style of non-monogamy is for you Addressing jealousy Creating relationship agreements that work Building secure attachment And more +++ But here's the exciting part – all the essential elements discussed in this episode have been carefully integrated into our Poly Newbies Digital Course. This comprehensive course is now fully built out and available, providing you with a step-by-step guide to confidently open your relationship in a way that feels comfortable and secure! If you're tired of feeling poly-terrified and want to enjoy more pleasure, less pain in your polyamorous journey and build a secure foundation for all your relationships our Poly Newbies Digital Course has everything you need.  Find out more and secure your spot now: https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiescourse Note that this talk was originally recorded in September 2023, and all course modules including trainings and exercises are available! You have full access to all the training for a full 6-months when you sign up! You can also find out more about us, the services we offer, plus some cool stuff like PRIDE wear, free resources and how you can book a free consultation call at our website at www.taraandandre.com.

4 Maalis 202433min