Healing Anxious Attachment9 Touko 2025

Anx. Attch. in Friendships: People-Pleasing, and the Fear of Being Replaced

We talk so much about how anxious attachment plays out in romance—but what about friendship?

If you’ve ever felt too sensitive, too intense, or too dependent in friendships—or you’ve abandoned them for romance—this conversation is for you.

In this episode, I explore the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways anxious attachment shows up in our platonic connections: overthinking texts, people-pleasing, jealousy, and the pain of feeling replaceable. We also look at deeper patterns—like recreating dynamics with your mother or sister, using male friendships as emotional placeholders, and disappearing from your friends when a new love interest enters the picture.

Go beyond understanding your patterns and actually start healing them at the root, come join us inside my membership, Becoming Secure. You’ll get nervous system-based tools, somatic practices, and community support to help you feel safe, grounded, and secure in love and life.

⏱️ Timestamps

Note: These are approximate and meant to help listeners follow the flow.

00:00 – Intro & why this topic matters

02:15 – What anxious attachment in friendship actually looks like

05:50 – How to tell if you're over-functioning or emotionally over-relying on a friend

09:30 – The mother/sister dynamic in female friendships

13:20 – Male friendships as placeholders for father wounds

16:45 – The quiet pattern of abandoning your friends for romance

20:30 – Self-reflection and starting to shift these patterns

23:00 – Invitation to go deeper inside Becoming Secure

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