636: William Von Hippel - Why We Need Both Autonomy and Connection to Find Happiness (The Social Paradox)

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William von Hippel grew up in Alaska, got his B.A. at Yale and his PhD at the University of Michigan, and taught for a dozen years at Ohio State University before finding his way to Australia, where he is a professor of psychology at the University of Queensland. He's the author of multiple books. A few months ago, he published The Social Paradox: Autonomy, Connection, and Why We Need Both to Find Happiness.

Notes

• Why do people who have comfortable lives filled with freedom and abundance still feel unhappy? Need two things… Connection and autonomy.
• Are leaders born or made? Yes. Like most things, it's not a black and white answer. The key is to use your unique strengths to effectively inspire others to do the work that must be done to achieve the goals of the team or company.
• How happy is Bill? He scores high on the genetics polygene(?) score. Some people are more genetically wired to be happy than others.
• You can fight against your genes and win. It's just harder for you than others with better genetics. What's my path of genetic least resistance? If you have low willpower, get the potato chips out of the house. Know yourself.
• Be yourself plus 20%. Overconfidence can be a good thing. Especially earlier in your career.
• Fake it til you make it. It can be good a lot of the time. He was overconfident as a new assistant professor, and it helped him.
• How you receive feedback is critical.
• Be honest, be kind
• His dad moved the family to Alaska because he didn't love being told what to do. He was a heart surgeon.
• Bill moved to Australia. A hard place to make friends because they don't move around much. He made connections with others who had moved there from out of the country.
• Life/Career advice: Too many choices can be bad. What are the elements of a job that I enjoy? What are my strengths?
• Leaders - It's lonely at the top. You need a group you can trust and enjoy their company. Google study - They do everything in teams. What's needed? Psychological safety. You need to be able to disagree with each other. Give feedback. It's on the leader to create healthy disagreement. And receive feedback in a way that encourages more of it.
• I was surprised by how much of our happiness, health, and strength were based purely on our genetics. Some people are just born happier, healthier, and stronger than you. It doesn't mean you can't be happy, healthy, or strong. It just means that you need to work harder to make it happen. That's life!