Your 2025 Astrology Report (Chronically Late, Cosmically Accurate)

We recorded this episode in December 2024. We’re releasing it in May 2025. Yes, we know. Time is fake. Calendars are a colonial construct. But astrology still slaps, even when it's late. We apologize for any outdated references in this episode, but we still wanted post it because this is the part of the year where things REALLY start to change. It's a great opportunity to reflect on the year thus far and stay prepared for what's coming next.

This episode is an overview of the energetic architecture of 2025. We discuss the biggest planetary shifts, collective themes, and the existential whiplash that these historic astrology formations are unleashing.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why 2025 is a preview of the next five years
• Why Pluto in Aquarius is the era of aliens, AI, and collective uprising (and why drones might be the new oracles)
• How Saturn and Neptune moving into Aries will completely reshape our understanding of identity, imagination, and self-leadership
• Why Uranus in Gemini will make nerds hot again (sexy librarians, you're on deck!)
• What it means when every outer planet changes signs in such a short period of time
• The astrology behind class revolts and why corporate overlords should watch their backs
• And how you, dear listener, can pivot, strategize, and maybe even monetize your way through this cosmic paradigm shift

You’ll also hear us:

• Predict the weaponization of butt plugs for interdimensional travel
• Praise the rise of spiritual individualism and customizable capitalism
• Declare the death of “cool” and the rebirth of authentic weirdness
• And remind you (gently? lol no) that you’re going to need to stay adaptable, resilient, and a little unhinged to ride this wave.

This episode is chaotic, unscripted, and completely vital. Even if it’s five months late.

The astrology doesn’t care when you listen. Just that you do.

***************************

P.S. PLEASE RATE OUR PODCAST AND SHARE IT WITH YOUR FRIENDS!!! <3

***************************

Podcast & Host Links:

• Clairannoyance Instagram
• Clairannoyance TikTok
• Clairannoyance Website
• Megan's Instagram
• Megan's TikTok
• Megan's Website
• Ryan's Instagram
• Ryan's TikTok
• Ryan's Website