‘Modern Love’: Why Boys and Men Are Floundering, According to Therapist Terry Real
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‘Modern Love’: Why Boys and Men Are Floundering, According to Therapist Terry Real

A session with Terry Real, a marriage and family therapist, can get uncomfortable. He’s known to mirror and amplify the emotions of his clients, sometimes cursing and nearly yelling, often in an attempt to get men in touch with the emotions they’re not used to honoring.

Real says men are often pushed to shut off their expression of vulnerability when they’re young as part of the process of becoming a man. That process, he says, can lead to myriad problems in their relationships. He sees it as his job to pull them back into vulnerability and intimacy, reconfiguring their understanding of masculinity in order to build more wholesome and connected families.

In this episode, Real explains why vulnerability is so essential to healthy masculinity and why his work with men feels more urgent than ever. He explains why he thinks our current models of masculinity are broken and what it will take to build new ones.

This episode was inspired by a New York Times Magazine piece, “How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me” by Daniel Oppenheimer.

For more Modern Love, search for the show wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Wednesday.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

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Friday, March 31, 2017

Friday, March 31, 2017

The latest twist in a bizarre Washington drama that began 10 days ago, and what a technological development tells us about progress and repression in India. Guests: Matt Rosenberg, who is tracking the developments with Representative Devin Nunes; Ellen Barry, the South Asia bureau chief for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2n3yoyv. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

31 Maalis 201721min

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Thursday, March 30, 2017

The climate change battle through one coal miner's eyes. And why Scott Pruitt, President Trump's E.P.A. chief, confounds both sides. Guests: Coral Davenport, who covers energy and the environment for The New York Times; Mark Gray, who spent 38 years working in the coal mines of Kentucky. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2nPhB1g. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

30 Maalis 201722min

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

The message was hardly subtle: coal miners at the Environmental Protection Agency. How President Trump is promising to do away with Obama’s legacy on climate change. Plus: the latest “Brexit” news. Guests: Coral Davenport, who covers energy and the environment for The Times; Peter Goodman, a Times reporter in London. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2odWwys. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

29 Maalis 201720min

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

President Trump wanted a faster battle plan. Iraqi leaders wanted quicker airstrikes. Is that why about 200 civilians are now dead in Mosul? Guests: Tim Arango and Rukmini Callimachi, New York Times reporters who have reported from Iraq. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2obiy4v. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

28 Maalis 201714min

Monday, March 27, 2017

Monday, March 27, 2017

Now that the Republican health care bill is dead, what is the future of the Democratic plan it was supposed to replace? And we talk with one of the ordinary Canadians who signed on for a grand social experiment: adopting Syrian refugees for one year. What happens as that year ends? Guests: Margot Sanger-Katz, who has been reporting on our health care system for years; Jodi Kantor and Catrin Einhorn, who have been writing about Syrian refugees in Canada; Peggy Karas, a Canadian sponsor of a refugee family. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2odVsdT. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

27 Maalis 201722min

Friday, March 24, 2017

Friday, March 24, 2017

It was supposed to be a historic day for Republicans, with the House voting to repeal President Obama’s health care law. At least that was the idea. What went awry? And we look at a battle over school choice in Iowa that may be a preview for a larger national fight over the White House’s vision for American education. Guests: Jennifer Steinhauer, who has been tracking the House health care vote; Dana Goldstein, who covers education for the Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2nmKKOS. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

24 Maalis 201722min

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Republicans control the government So why, as they head to a vote on the Republican health care plan, is the bill so disliked — and the party so divided? Plus: a view from the scene of yesterday’s deadly attacks in London. Guests: Jennifer Steinhauer, who is covering the health care debate for The New York Times; Katrin Bennhold, who lives in London and is reporting on the attack there. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2nXmcib. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

23 Maalis 201720min

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

On the second day of the confirmation hearings for Judge Neil M. Gorsuch, senators want to know about his independence from the man who nominated him. Guests: Adam Liptak, who covers the Supreme Court for The New York Times; Cynthia Orr, the plaintiff in an important case that Judge Gorsuch decided. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2nrXHsE. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

22 Maalis 201718min

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