Don't Pull My Tampon String! w/ Jessica Kirson | Your Mom's House Ep. 812

If you're gay I challenge you to up your game. Listen to the gayest man that has ever lived and see if you can top him, if even, for a moment. When ladies OR guys can't control the joy they feel when they taste man yogurt in their mouth are you buying it? We kind of disagree on this point. I mean clearly people LOVE it. The drunkest man ever is revisited and it's undeniable - he's a huge fan of our show. You know what I'm sayin, you gotta gun yoself, you know I'm sayin? Yes, sir, we do. Do we have an impromptu WOULD YOU RATHER that is so awful you might not answer? Yup. Nancy Grace is a lying turd, but maybe pot does make you kill??? David Lee Roth and Flocka rock out for you.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

24 Tammi 20141h 2min

Every animal can get diarrhea, but why did that animal get that loose brown? Let's talk about it. Top Dog and Charo get a surprise phone call about Tom's sex education class memory. Was there a VERY out-of-line teacher? Hmmmmm. Did Top Dog make big BROWN on his latest cruise? We finished Breaking Bad Farts and we tip our collective hat to all the participants. It's a masterpiece and we miss it already. Pop music is for the stupid by the slightly less stupid. This isn't an attempt to be controversial. We actually have proof. If English is your first language and you make Dennis Rodman sound like Prince William what would be your next move? These JEAN were made for talking (to your mom).  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

22 Tammi 20141h 9min

Seems like it's pretty much settled - TOMMY IS THE MAIN MOMMY. Episode 19 is revisited and the evidence is CLEAR. Christina is filing appeals, but we doubt there's a judge in the land that will grant her another hearing. We debate this at length and allow you to decide. You went CRAZY over the appearance of Juelz Ventura on episode 188 and we celebrate the triumph. Yes, we're proud of ourselves. What's scarier than a man dressed as a female DOLL? We vote nothing. It is absolutely terrifying. A new show is coming out about it and we are mortified and eager to watch it. Homeless people singing the hits is something that we hope takes off! They really can't sing, but we want it to never end. DENIM NEVER ENDS. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Tammi 20141h 2min

HONESTLY, we feel like you're going to leave this episode like, "Whoa, I'm proud of myself." Thanks to you, the dedicated little mommy that could, we have managed to land an all-time favorite and MY OH MY did we have fun. Adult superstar, Juelz Ventura is as laid back and fun as she is sexy and full of drool (we'll let her explain). We get to ask everything we've ever wanted to ask to someone who does the dirty on camera and we get answers that you won't be able to wrap your loose vagina around. Juelz is game for anything and shares the inside scoop that we've been yearning for. Oh yeah, when we finally get to the clip that you all love, well, it's magic. This episode has heart, laughs, boobs and honestly, what else could you want?  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

15 Tammi 20142h 1min

Great news! Dennis Rodman isn't retarded. That is, of course, according to Dennis Rodman. He's just really, really drunk and he wishes he had been alive many years ago, to befriend Hitler, the often-lambasted and widely "misunderstood" former German leader. But we've got to be honest. We're not really buying the drunk thing. Drunks, well, sound different - like Orson Welles! MUAAAAHAAAHHHHHHH, the French Champagne, blllllahhhhhhh! Stevie Wonder is a world treasure. He should maybe cut his braids. All dudes who play ball should cut their dreads. ALL. Some of our favorite artists MUST be horrible people, but not you, Stevie. We play some old Top Dog and Charo clips just because we love you.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

10 Tammi 20141h 12min

This episode is very CHILDISH in the way that we make fun of other living people. We hope you are okay with that. Former NBA player and current mentally retarded person, Dennis Rodman is, well, definitely not the best at speaking outloud. He's in North Korea and he is apparently mumbling his way back. Why are there no more PSA's? Did we solve everything for kids and now they no longer need warnings? Lets bring them back and make them lamer than ever. Fire, kid touchers and drugs are still around so how about we be adults again and start making bad commericals about them for the children, yo. We learned that Kim Jong-Un is a huge fan of the show, but we are not so sure about going over there to do a live show. Something about that guy (City Connection). The mommies are eating healthy and the brown is falling out of us! You will enjoy this show or you will spend the next 15 years in our fart labor camp.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

8 Tammi 20141h 8min

Jeezy is short for Jizzles - that's a little known fact we made up. As the new year gets rolling we want you to stay POSITIVE. We encourage you to reaffirm positive thoughts about yourself with yourself. You're smart! You're good! You listen to the best podcast! You wear your jeans super high! You idn't greezy! We get to the bottom of the Dog's T**S expression and it really is something else, mate! THEO joins us on the show to share his last few days and also to talk about his favorite vice (not healthy). Who better to get your year rolling than the one and only TOP DOG. He guides you on your brown pathway and gives insight on more than just wiping (sorry Puerto Ricans). This ep is the jeans machine. Sharkeisha, YES! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

3 Tammi 20141h 11min