THE MARTIAL ARTIST: Surviving a cult of control to teaching TRUE self-defense

What happens when the very place meant to empower you becomes a site of control and abuse? Today, we step into the martial arts world, a space built on honor and discipline, yet often hiding a darker reality of manipulation and exploitation. Lisa welcomes Elicia Ybarra, a lifelong martial artist and dedicated women’s self-defense instructor, who transformed her own experience of abuse within the industry into a mission to uplift others. Elicia shares how martial arts became her escape from a chaotic, abusive childhood, only to later confront betrayal and harm by those in positions of power. Together, Lisa and Elicia expose how the martial arts community’s strict hierarchies and culture of silence protect abusers and isolate survivors, leaving many trapped in cycles of shame and disbelief. This episode is about more than exposing a broken system; it’s about reclaiming martial arts as a tool for true empowerment. Elicia’s story is one of resilience, teaching that real self-defense starts with permission: to trust your instincts, set boundaries, and speak out. Lisa and Elicia call for a new vision of martial arts, one that builds women up, not breaks them down, and urge listeners to support survivors with empathy and action, not judgment or blame. If you’ve ever wondered how to turn survival into strength or how to make martial arts a place of real empowerment, this conversation is for you. Just a heads up: This episode contains discussions of grooming, coercion, sexual assault, intimate partner violence, and predatory behavior. Some may find it upsetting. We encourage you to take care of yourself. 21 Days to Unbreakable is a 21-day women’s self-defense confidence training with video lessons, a guided workbook, practice drills, and community support. Enrollment opens March 2. Use code FromNowOnPod2026 for $50 off here: https://www.prettyhandshardpunches.com/unbreakable About Elicia Ybarra: Elicia is a lifelong martial artist with over two decades of martial arts experience, including a 4th dan black belt in Taekwondo and a 1st dan black belt in Hapkido. As the founder of Pretty Hands, Hard Punches, Elicia uses her own experiences overcoming abuse and exploitation within the martial arts industry to teach women practical self-defense techniques, boundary-setting, and how to recognize and stand against abuse. Her unique approach combines technical skill, emotional intelligence, and empowerment to help women build physical and mental strength. Follow Elicia @prettyhandshardpunches on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, LinkedIn and YouTube. To learn more about her services and classes go to prettyhandshardpunches.com. Elicia is offering to guides for From Now On audience. Boundaries & Bravery: Self-Defense Strategies for Women Everywhere Guide - use Promocode: FromNowOn to access it for free. Creating the Ideal You Guide - use Promocode: IdealYou to access it for free. Follow Lisa Phillips @iamlisaphillips on Instagram. From Now On is produced by LA PHILLIPS MEDIA. Listen and follow on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube. Have a story to share with us? Email us at fromnowonpod@gmail.com. Join our movement and keep up to date on all things From Now On by following us @fromnowonpod on all socials. If today’s conversation resonated with you and you are seeking more support in your own healing journey, here are some resources below: If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, help is available. Call 800.656.HOPE (4673) If you or someone you know is being trafficked, contact the National Human Trafficking Hotline. Text 233733 (befree). PAVE is a 501(c)(3) non-profit creating a world free from sexual violence and building communities to support survivors. Speak Out, Act, Reclaim (SOAR) is dedicated to providing a safe and empowering space for survivors of sex trafficking to reclaim their stories and stand up for themselves and each other.