Self-Sabotage: Why You Do What You Shouldn’t, and How to Stop

Today we’re featuring an episode from another show I think you’re really going to connect with: Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health. Can a meaningful friendship bridge a 51-year age gap and help combat social isolation? Meet Peter and Pooja; two unlikely companions whose intergenerational bond proves that friendships can flourish when we break down barriers and embrace human connection. In this episode of Turning Points, explore how Peter and Pooja’s weekly conversations through Boston's FriendshipWorks program evolved from a simple volunteer match into a life-changing friendship filled with book launches, grocery runs, and life advice that flows both ways. We also speak with Kyle Robidoux, Executive Director of FriendshipWorks. He shares insights on addressing social isolation and loneliness and how community-based friendship programs are strengthening social connections. Peter and Pooja's transformative friendship shows that when we approach relationships without preconceived notions, we can unlock the healing power of human connection. Their story offers hope and practical wisdom for anyone struggling with loneliness or seeking to build deeper, more meaningful relationships. Check out Turning Points: http://globe.com/truningpoints Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Marras 202534min

Today we’re revisiting some of our favorite episodes to explore one of the most salient topics in psychology today: trauma. We begin by tracing its developmental roots with Dr. Lindsay Gibson and Dr. Bessel van Der Kolk, before looking at how it can be passed down through family systems with Dr. Mariel Buqué, associate somatic therapist Elizabeth Ferreira, and author Stephanie Foo. Dr. Jacob Ham and Dr. Peter Levine then share new perspectives on healing, emphasizing the importance of getting out of the head and into the body. Finally, Dr. Gabor Maté discusses the cultural context of trauma, arguing that it's a symptom of a toxic culture. Key Topics:  02:15: Dr. Lindsay Gibson on The Last Impact of Inconsistent Parenting and Lack of Attunement 23:16: Dr. Bessel van Der Kolk on Internalizing Abuse 39:34: Dr. Mariel Buqué on Intergenerational Trauma 58:54: Elizabeth Ferreira on Intergenerational Trauma, Complex PTSD, and Somatic Techniques 1:23:23: Stephanie Foo on Healing from Complex PTSD through Relationships 1:47:15: Dr. Jacob Ham on the Limits of Conceptualizing when treating Complex Trauma 2:06:52: Dr. Peter Levine on Somatic Experiencing and Moving Trauma Through Your Body 2:20:55: Dr. Gabor Maté and our Toxic Culture 2:43:55: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Listen to Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health wherever you get your podcasts. Follow the show so you never miss an episode.  Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. If you are exploring whether you might be neurodivergent, check out Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson.  Skylight is offering our listeners $20 off their 10 inch Skylight Frame by going to myskylight.com/BEINGWELL. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

3 Marras 20252h 43min

Forrest is joined by one of the world’s top executive coaches, Joe Hudson, for a conversation focused on how we can reduce self-punishment and live more fulfilling lives by welcoming our emotions and loosening identification with the critical mind. They discuss Joe’s “The Golden Algorithm” - our tendency to recreate the emotions we try to avoid - and explore the three pillars of emotional fluidity, cognitive clarity, and nervous system awareness. Joe emphasizes how good change usually comes from reconnecting with who we already are, and welcoming fear, pleasure, and imperfection along the way. Really enjoyed this one, I hope you do too! About our Guest: Joe Hudson is the founder of the Art of Accomplishment, and is one of the most sought-after teachers among the world’s top leaders at OpenAI, Alphabet, Apple, and more. He coaches a small group of executives by invitation only, and has collaborated with teachers like Esther Perel, Bessel van der Kolk, Patty Wipfler, and Tiago Forte. Key Topics: 1:14: The Three Pillars: Emotion, Cognition, Nervous System 8:29: Self-improvement as an act of authenticity 15:44: Deconstructing our thoughts 23:19: The golden algorithm, repression, and why we recreate our pain 31:31: Working with the nervous system 34:11: Shame 43:14: Emotions as windows into wants and needs 49:45: Perfectionism 55:27: Enjoying life 1:08:07: Recap Learn more about Joe's work:  Complimentary transformation guide: https://www.artofaccomplishment.com/  Art of Accomplishment YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@ArtofAccomplishment Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors If you have ADHD, or you love someone who does, I’d recommend checking out the podcast ADHD aha! Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Feel good...and mean it when you say it! Get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60 Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

27 Loka 20251h 16min

Dr. Rick and Forrest discuss how we can regulate our emotions by feeling, managing, and processing them more effectively. They begin by unpacking common misconceptions and clarifying what healthy regulation looks like - feeling our feelings without being overwhelmed by them. From there, they walk through the three key steps of emotional regulation, focusing on practical tools like cognitive defusion and opposite action.  Topics include interoception, the window of tolerance, cognitive bypassing, suppression/repression, and finding a balance between acceptance and agency. Key Topics: 1:59: What Does Emotional Regulation Look Like? 6:08: The Three Aspects of Emotional Regulation 12:35: Step 1: Feeling Your Feelings 27:20: Step 2: Managing Your Feelings 58:50: Step 3: Processing (and maybe expressing) Your Feelings 1:10:10: Recap Rick’s Course on Grief and Loss: Join Rick for his new, four-week long online program where you’ll soothe emotional pain, find perspective and meaning, and hold whatever happened with acceptance and compassion. Learn more at RickHanson.com/loss and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount. Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors If you have ADHD, or you love someone who does, I’d recommend checking out the podcast ADHD aha! Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Feel good...and mean it when you say it! Get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60 Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

20 Loka 20251h 27min

Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag to answer listener questions about trauma and its impact on personality, boundaries, anger, and burnout. They discuss how to distinguish the authentic self from the patterns we needed to learn to survive, how to balance duty to self with duty to others, and how to work with explosive anger by first joining with it. Finally, they discuss the importance of moving from empathic distress to compassion in order to prevent caregiver fatigue. Topics include cognitive defusion, taking a bird’s eye view, filling your own cup, and being with your feelings without judging them. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 01:30: Question 1: Trauma or Personality? 07:53: Question 2: Managing Boundaries with a Depressed Partner 28:32: Question 3: Dealing with Explosive Anger 37:45: Question 4: How to Prevent Caregiver Fatigue 47:16: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors If you have ADHD, or you love someone who does, I’d recommend checking out the podcast ADHD aha! Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

13 Loka 202559min

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the silent killer of relationships: resentment. They discuss resentment as a combination of perceived grievance (“I was wronged”) and helplessness (“and I can’t fix it”), before talking about how over-functioning and control tendencies can lead to resentment in relationships - one person shoulders more of the load while quietly stewing about it. Topics include the role of rumination in keeping resentment alive, the difference between legitimate grievances and toxic rumination, and why resentment can feel protective. Rick shares a step-by-step framework for handling resentment when repair isn’t possible, while Forrest highlights how communication and claiming agency can be powerful antidotes. Key Topics: 00:00: Intro 04:14: Legitimate grievances vs. unhealthy resentment 09:44: How perceptions of injustice and helplessness fuel resentment 20:04: Claiming your agency 34:41: How to work through resentment with others 50:11: How to work through resentment when you can’t work through it with others 1:02:51: Recap Grief and Loss Course: In this four-week online program Rick will help you soothe emotional pain, find perspective and meaning, and hold whatever happened with acceptance and compassion. Learn more at RickHanson.com/loss and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount.   Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors If you have ADHD, or you love someone who does, I’d recommend checking out the podcast ADHD aha! Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Join hundreds of thousands of people who are taking charge of their health. Learn more and join Function at functionhealth.com/BEINGWELL. Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Loka 20251h 18min

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore humanistic psychology, the mid-20th century movement that redefined how therapists relate to clients. It challenged the pessimism of Freud and the mechanism of behaviorism, offering a more hopeful alternative: that our nature is fundamentally good, and our job is to let it shine through. They discuss Carl Rogers’ work, including self-actualization, conditions of worth, unconditional positive regard, trusting your experience, and the central role of the therapeutic alliance. Throughout, they focus on what you can take from these ideas into your life. Key Topics:  00:00: Intro 03:40: Humanism as a response to psychoanalysis 09:53: Humanism’s core principles: inherent goodness, wholism, self-actualization, agency, and subjective experience 21:35: What does humanistic therapy actually look like? 32:46: Congruence, conditions of worth, and authenticity 40:54: History and context: post-WWII and the civil rights movement 56:09: Critiques of humanism 1:02:40: Lessons we can all take from humanistic psychology 1:13:41: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors If you have ADHD, or you love someone who does, I’d recommend checking out the podcast ADHD aha! Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Join hundreds of thousands of people who are taking charge of their health. Learn more and join Function at functionhealth.com/BEINGWELL. Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

29 Syys 20251h 21min

AI chatbots may already be the largest providers of mental health services in the United States, raising big questions about safety, effectiveness, and oversight. Dr. Rick and Forrest are joined by Dr. Nick Jacobson to explore the risks and opportunities of AI therapy: Can a chatbot be good at therapy? Will it replace human therapists? What about AI psychosis? How should we think about privacy, bias, and regulation? Is this a silver bullet for mental health access, or are we just opening a new can of worms? About our Guest: Nick is associate professor of biomedical data science, psychiatry, and computer science at Dartmouth, and directs the AI and Mental Health Laboratory there. He’s also the developer of Therabot, a generative AI therapy chatbot that predates ChatGPT, and he’s one of the first researchers to run a clinical trial on AI therapy. Key Topics: 02:35: Is AI going to replace human therapists? 05:00: Risks of using ChatGPT as your therapist, and general vs. therapy-specific AI 14:30: What should people be worried about? 19:14: Is AI good at therapy? 29:58: Bias, values, and “who’s watching the watchers” 39:17: Is there something unique about a human therapist? 52:21: Oversight and the self-driving car analogy 1:00:51: Personhood, consciousness, and risks of anthropomorphizing AI 1:11:00: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors If you have ADHD, or you love someone who does, I’d recommend checking out the podcast ADHD aha! Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Join hundreds of thousands of people who are taking charge of their health. Learn more and join Function at functionhealth.com/BEINGWELL. Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

22 Syys 20251h 25min