204: He Quit Porn — But the Marriage Still Feels Broken (here's what to do)
Want help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome pornography use? Click here to book a free clarity call with Sam – https://stopporn.info/ Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here: sam@healingcouples.org Episode Description: In this powerful episode, we explore why pornography addiction recovery often leaves couples feeling stuck — even after the behavior stops. If you’re a husband who’s no longer watching porn but still feels attacked or discouraged when your wife brings up the past, or a wife who still feels pain, confusion, and fear even though he says he’s changed, this episode is for you. You’ll learn why healing from porn addiction is about more than just stopping the behavior. True porn addiction recovery requires repairing the emotional meaning behind the betrayal, rebuilding emotional safety in marriage, and learning how to respond to each other in a way that fosters connection — not shutdowns, not avoidance, and not silence. We break down: The emotional disconnect that happens after the behavior stops Why your wife still brings up the past, even if he’s “doing everything right” The difference between quitting pornography and rebuilding trust How to navigate painful conversations without spiraling into shame or defensiveness What wives need in order to feel seen, understood, and emotionally safe How husbands can support healing without feeling like they’re “never enough” Why stopping porn isn’t the finish line — it’s the starting point for emotional repair and real connection If you’re trying to heal your marriage after porn addiction, this conversation will help you understand each other more deeply — and move forward with clarity, compassion, and real tools. This episode is packed with practical insight for anyone navigating marriage after betrayal, porn addiction in marriage, and the painful gap that can remain even after someone has stopped watching pornography.
10 Heinä 17min
203: Live Session: The Best Tools to Help You Resolve Triggers and End the Arguments
Want help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome pornography use? Click here to book a free clarity call with Sam – https://stopporn.info/ Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here: sam@healingcouples.org Episode Description: When a man is working to overcome pornography, it’s not just about stopping the behavior—it’s about learning to handle the emotional triggers that used to lead him back to porn in the first place. But what happens when those triggers—like stress, disconnection, or escape—start creeping back in? In this powerful coaching session, you’ll hear a real couple navigate the emotional aftermath of porn addiction, where old patterns of distraction resurface and start to erode their connection again. What starts as “just being on the phone” quickly becomes a deeper emotional trigger for the wife—bringing up pain, fear, and the belief that she’s not enough. This episode explores what happens when unresolved wounds from porn use in marriage resurface, even after the behavior has stopped. You'll learn how subtle behaviors can trigger relational anxiety, how communication often breaks down when underlying shame or disconnection hasn’t been fully addressed, and why many wives feel caught between nagging and staying silent. If you’ve ever thought, “I’m doing better, but my wife still doesn’t feel safe,” “Why is she reacting so strongly to something small?” “I don’t know how to rebuild trust after porn,” …this episode will help you understand what’s really going on underneath the surface. We walk through: The hidden emotional triggers that linger after porn addiction recovery How wives internalize the impact of pornography use, even months or years later Why avoiding hard conversations leads to more disconnection The root fears that cause communication to break down How to reconnect through emotional honesty—not surface-level behavior change Whether you're early in the process or years into healing, this episode will give you insight into what it really takes to heal your marriage after pornography, break the cycle of emotional withdrawal, and move toward deeper connection, clarity, and safety.
3 Heinä 35min
201: "Why Did You Do It?" How to Navigate the Hardest Question After Pornography Use
Want help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome pornography use? Click here to book a free clarity call with Sam – https://stopporn.info/ Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here: sam@healingcouples.org Episode Description: After porn addiction is discovered in a relationship, one question almost always rises to the surface: “Why did you do it?” It’s one of the most difficult conversations couples face after betrayal trauma, especially when it involves porn addiction and marriage. Wives are often left reeling — trying to make sense of what happened, searching for answers, and feeling like their entire reality has shifted. Husbands, on the other hand, feel overwhelmed, defensive, or shut down — thinking, “I already told her everything. What more can I say?” In this episode, we break down why the question “Why did he watch porn?” keeps coming up, and why giving the “right answer” is never really the point. We’ll explore what’s actually going on beneath the surface — and how to respond in a way that leads to emotional connection after betrayal instead of more disconnection. You’ll learn: Why “just being honest” isn’t always enough to rebuild trust after pornography How this question is often tied to deeper needs for emotional connection and safety Why shame and disclosure can block real healing if not handled with clarity How couples can begin healing from betrayal without getting stuck in endless rehashing The real reason most conversations break down when porn addiction recovery begins — and how to change that dynamic Practical tools for both partners to navigate this with compassion and presence If you’re navigating trust after pornography, this episode will help you stop spinning in circles and start having the conversations that actually move you forward. Whether you're early in your porn recovery marriage journey or years into the process, this episode will help you understand how to talk through the pain — not around it — and finally feel like you're making progress together.
19 Kesä 20min
200: The Real Reason You Keep Struggling with Porn — And Why More Rules Won’t Help
Want help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome pornography use? Click here to book a free clarity call with Sam – https://stopporn.info/ Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here: sam@healingcouples.org Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop – http://trust.stopporn.info Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship. Episode Description: If you've been stuck in the cycle of pornography for years, trying everything from filters to accountability partners, but still feel like you’re not making progress — this episode will change the way you see everything. In today’s episode, Sam Tielemans breaks down why so many traditional approaches to porn addiction recovery leave men feeling discouraged, ashamed, and trapped in endless management strategies. If you’ve ever been told you just need to “have a plan” or “avoid triggering situations,” this episode offers a powerful reframe: it’s not about controlling your environment — it’s about healing the root. You’ll hear real client stories about men who struggled with urges to watch porn during travel, late nights, and moments of disconnection — and why the real issue wasn’t the situation, but unhealed emotional wounds like low self-worth and fear of rejection. Here’s what you’ll learn in this episode: ✔️ Why returning to porn is predictable — and why it’s not about the scenario, it’s about the story underneath ✔️ The truth behind “guardrail” strategies and why they don’t lead to real freedom ✔️ How to stop managing symptoms and instead use tools that address emotional triggers and shame ✔️ The power of accurate diagnosis: how identifying the real problem makes the path to change simple ✔️ Why relapse prevention isn't about more willpower — it’s about root-level transformation ✔️ How to build a plan that supports healing, not just behavior management If you’ve been worn down by porn urges, constantly falling back into old patterns, or questioning your ability to ever be free — you’re not broken. You’ve just been using the wrong map. This episode is for you if you're ready to: Learn how to stop porn urges at the root Address the hidden link between shame and self-esteem and compulsive behaviors Rebuild connection in your marriage and understand the truth about marriage and porn Finally get clarity on how to quit porn in a way that feels doable, grounded, and lasting This isn’t just another pep talk — it’s a full reorientation. You don’t need more discipline. You need more clarity.
12 Kesä 19min
199: You Don’t Need to Do Everything to Quit Pornography — Just This One Thing
Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here: sam@healingcouples.org Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop – http://trust.stopporn.info Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship. Episode Description: If you’re trying to quit pornography but feel like you’re constantly falling behind, this episode is exactly what you need. In today’s conversation, Sam Tielemans, licensed marriage therapist and coach, breaks down a powerful shift that can help you get unstuck — without burning out. If you’ve ever thought, “I’m not doing enough,” or you’ve slipped back into old patterns, this episode will help you refocus and move forward with confidence. You’ll learn: ✅ Why feeling stuck in quitting porn doesn’t mean you’re off track ✅ What to do when you feel like you’re falling behind in porn recovery ✅ The real reason your wife might not feel emotionally safe (even if you haven’t turned back to porn) ✅ How to rebuild trust after porn through connection, not just checklists ✅ Why the “work” isn’t about doing everything — and how couples can redefine the process together ✅ A practical feedback loop that shows you what to focus on to quit porn week by week ✅ How to get back on track with quitting porn even after setbacks Whether you're just starting your journey to quit porn or you’ve been on this path for a while and feel discouraged, this episode will help you slow down, reset, and take the next right step in your porn addiction help process.
5 Kesä 18min
198: If You Want Your Urges for Pornography to Go Away, Do This
Want help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome pornography use? Click here to book a free clarity call with Sam – https://stopporn.info/ Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here: sam@healingcouples.org Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop – http://trust.stopporn.info Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship. Episode Description: Struggling with urges to watch porn that seem to come out of nowhere? In this episode, Sam Tielemans, licensed therapist and host of the Couples Healing From Pornography podcast breaks down why those urges aren’t random — they’re emotional triggers pointing to deeper, unresolved issues. If you're serious about porn addiction recovery, this episode will help you stop chasing surface-level solutions and start focusing on true healing. You’ll learn: ✅ Why the urge is a lagging indicator — and what to do instead ✅ How shame and self-esteem silently drive the cycle ✅ The 3 leading causes behind most relapses (and how to spot them early) ✅ How emotional disconnection in your marriage plays a hidden role in porn relapses ✅ What actually works for relapse prevention — beyond filters and accountability partners Whether you're trying to figure out how to quit porn for good or support your husband through porn addiction recovery, this episode will show you how to stop reacting and start getting ahead of the cycle. This is more than behavior management — it’s about real freedom. If you’re tired of the fight, and you want to stop porn urges before they start… 👉 This is the one episode you don’t want to miss.
29 Touko 22min
197: You’re Not Codependent — You’re Craving Connection (Here’s the Difference)
Is it really codependency… or are you just craving safety after betrayal? In this episode, Sam Tielemans, licensed marriage therapist and host of the Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction Podcast, unpacks one of the most misunderstood topics in relationships impacted by pornography: codependency. If you've ever felt “too needy” for reassurance, or struggled to reconnect after your spouse’s porn use, this conversation will help you understand what's really happening beneath the surface — and how to break the cycle. You'll learn: Why porn addiction creates deep attachment wounds in marriage The difference between codependent behavior and healthy reassurance-seeking How emotional insecurity shows up after betrayal (and what to do instead) A step-by-step example of how couples shift from defensiveness to vulnerability How to ask for reassurance in a way that builds emotional safety and trust The real reason “talking about it” often leads to shutdowns and fights — and how to change that Whether you're a husband trying to rebuild trust or a wife wondering if you're too much, this episode offers powerful insights and practical steps to heal the damage, stop the reactivity, and reconnect from a place of honesty and strength. Want help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome pornography use? Click here to book a free clarity call with Sam – https://stopporn.info/ Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here: sam@healingcouples.org Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop – http://trust.stopporn.info Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship. Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction. Tune in to get clarity, encouragement, and actionable steps to support your relationship!
22 Touko 18min
