your baby is not you: cultivating conscious boundaries and avoiding enmeshment

your baby is not you: cultivating conscious boundaries and avoiding enmeshment

Parenting advice tends to focus on the surface: what to buy, what to avoid, and how to get it “right.” But what if the most important work of motherhood has nothing to do with the baby gear or the milestones? What if the real transformation is happening inside of you, shaping not just the way you parent but who you are becoming?

This episode peels back the layers of motherhood to explore the inner alchemy required to raise a child—and yourself. We’ll dive into concepts that rarely make it into mainstream conversations, like Julia Kristeva’s theory of abjection, which unpacks the discomfort of blurred boundaries between you and your baby, and James Hollis’ idea of the daimon—the unique essence every child carries from birth. These ideas will challenge you to see your child not as an extension of you, but as their own person with a path you’re here to nurture, not dictate.

We’ll also talk about the dangers of enmeshment, the all-consuming mother archetype, and the shadow work that helps you avoid unconsciously projecting your fears and unmet needs onto your child. It’s a raw, reflective conversation about how the way we navigate this transformation has the power to either perpetuate generational cycles or break them.


CRAVING MORE? To dive deeper into the Back from the Borderline universe, explore my recommendations and access premium content, visit backfromtheborderline.com.

Disclaimer: I’m not a medical professional, OB, or expert—just a fellow human being sharing my personal journey and experiences. What I share here isn’t intended as medical advice. Always trust your instincts and consult with trusted professionals as you navigate your own path.

Whether you’re preparing for motherhood, holding your newborn, or parenting a young child, this episode asks you to step back from the noise, trust your intuition, and lean into the messy, profound work of becoming. Because the most important thing you can give your child is a parent who’s unafraid to grow alongside them.


CRAVING MORE? To dive deeper into the Back from the Borderline universe, explore my recommendations and access premium content, visit backfromtheborderline.com.

Disclaimer: I’m not a medical professional, OB, or expert—just a fellow human being sharing my personal journey and experiences. What I share here isn’t intended as medical advice. Always trust your instincts and consult with trusted professionals as you navigate your own path.

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Jaksot(21)

the labor map pt 9: the pushing phase crowning and immediate postpartum

the labor map pt 9: the pushing phase crowning and immediate postpartum

This is it—the ninth and final installment of the Labor Map series, a comprehensive guide designed to empower and prepare you for the stages of labor. In this episode, we’re covering the monumental mo...

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the labor map pt 8: timing your arrival and navigating hospital logistics

the labor map pt 8: timing your arrival and navigating hospital logistics

This is part eight of our multi-episode Labor Map series, and today, we’re talking logistics. You’ve already learned how to recognize when labor is starting and how to tune into your emotional and phy...

1 Tammi 202525min

the labor map pt 7: different ways labor might begin

the labor map pt 7: different ways labor might begin

When it comes to how labor starts, Hollywood has done a hell of a job setting us all up for confusion. We’re taught to expect a dramatic gush of water, frantic dashes to the hospital, and chaos unfold...

1 Tammi 202538min

the labor map pt 6: fast vs. slow labor and the truth about cervical checks

the labor map pt 6: fast vs. slow labor and the truth about cervical checks

Welcome to part six of the Labor Map series—a deep dive into the unique patterns of labor progression and the often misunderstood role of cervical checks. Labor isn’t a one-size-fits-all journey. Some...

1 Tammi 202544min

the labor map pt 5: recognizing the "emotional signposts" of labor

the labor map pt 5: recognizing the "emotional signposts" of labor

Welcome to Part 5 of the Labor Map series, a multi-episode guide designed to help you navigate the unpredictable journey of labor with confidence and clarity. In this episode, we explore the emotional...

1 Tammi 202546min

the labor map pt 4: the six needs of the laboring mother

the labor map pt 4: the six needs of the laboring mother

Welcome to part four of the Labor Map series, a comprehensive guide to labor preparation designed with real-life experience and research in mind. This episode tackles a vital but often overlooked aspe...

1 Tammi 202548min

the labor map pt 3: timing contractions without overthinking it

the labor map pt 3: timing contractions without overthinking it

Part 3 of our Labor Map Series takes on one of the most essential tools in your labor prep: timing contractions. But here’s the truth—this process is often oversimplified and misunderstood. Timing con...

1 Tammi 202529min

the labor map pt 2: guided visualization for contraction mastery

the labor map pt 2: guided visualization for contraction mastery

Welcome to Part 2 of the Labor Map Series, your comprehensive guide to preparing for and navigating childbirth. This episode builds on the relaxation and mindset techniques discussed in Part 1, so if ...

1 Tammi 202525min

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