People Pleasing: What It Is and How to Stop

"People pleasing is us bending ourselves into a pretzel, in order to show up in the way we think another person wants us to - so that they can avoid dealing with us as we really are AND we don’t have to deal with their discomfort."

Today's podcast guest is Life Coach and Mentor, Kelly Tadlock. After leaving a job in Silicone Valley ("There was not a dollar amount you could pay that was going to get me to stay.") and disappointing a lot of people along the way, Kelly found the thing that fills her up. She let go of the people pleasing (that is so ingrained in all of us) and became a huge proponent of self-connection and self-care (the real kind).

"Self-kindness is non-negotiable," she says, "and it's usually the worst news I can give someone. Most of us have this real fear of 'if I’m nice to myself, I won’t do anything,' because it doesn't feel as active or as productive."

But, it helps us become the person we want to be and create the life we want to live. We have the ability to continually come home to ourselves and reveal who we are – even to ourselves – on deeper and deeper levels. And, it's worth it.

Having the courage to disappoint people, to let them be wrong about you, and to ask for help in the midst of all the messiness yields the most amazing, delicious fruit. The kind that makes you say, "This feels so good. I didn’t even know this was possible." And, who doesn't want that?

Your first act of radical self-kindness? Listening to this episode and checking in with yourself... how are you, really? And, what do you need the most right now?

As always, I would love to hear what bubbles up for you around this! DM me on Instagram if you want to have a two-way conversation (@caryngillen).

And, to find out more about Kelly, you can find her at kellytadlock.com or on Facebook (Kelly Tadlock Coaching).

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Find out what kind of business owner you are at caryngillen.com/quiz. Your answer will let you know areas where you're killing it and the places where there's room for growth in the 3 Pillars of Business Your Way. Can't wait to hear about your results!

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Finally, EPISODE TRANSCRIPTS can be found here: caryngillen.com/transcripts.