564: Yale’s James Kimmel Jr. on the Science of Revenge

564: Yale’s James Kimmel Jr. on the Science of Revenge

James Kimmel, Jr., lawyer, Yale psychiatry lecturer, and author of The Science of Revenge, joins us in the Strategy Skills podcast to explore the neuroscience and behavioral dynamics of revenge. Drawing on law, psychiatry, and over two decades of research, Kimmel offers a sobering view: revenge is not a form of justice, it’s a “pleasure-seeking behavior” that operates like an addiction, fueled by unresolved pain.

He opens the conversation with a deeply personal story: as a teenager, after years of bullying, he chased down his aggressors with a loaded revolver. In a pivotal moment, he recalls, “The cost of getting the revenge I wanted was far more than I was willing to pay.” That flash of insight redirected his life and seeded a lifelong investigation into how grievance, retribution, and healing operate in the human mind.

Key insights from the discussion include:

  • Revenge Mimics Addiction in the Brain
    Kimmel explains that “your brain on revenge looks like your brain on drugs.” The cycle begins when a grievance activates the brain’s pain network, followed by a surge of dopamine in the reward system. Over time, the craving for retaliation can become compulsive, forming habits akin to substance abuse.
  • Grievance Retention Impairs Judgment
    Unchecked rumination can degrade executive function. “If that prefrontal cortex does not stop you,” Kimmel warns, “and you really crave it… it doesn’t matter how many laws there are.” This impaired self-control is what allows otherwise rational individuals to commit extreme acts of violence.
  • Social Exclusion Can Be a Form of Revenge
    “If you’re ending a relationship not for present harm, but to punish someone for a past wrong, that’s retaliation,” he explains. Even subtle acts like ghosting or ostracism can activate the same pain circuitry in the brain as physical harm.
  • Forgiveness Interrupts the Revenge Cycle
    Neuroscience shows that imagining forgiveness “shuts down the brain’s pain network, silences addiction circuits, and reactivates executive control.” Kimmel calls forgiveness a “human superpower… It doesn’t just cover up the pain like revenge does, it takes the pain away altogether.”
  • Revenge Can Be Prevented, Like a Heart Attack
    Kimmel proposes a new public health framework: treat revenge attacks like cardiac events. “There are warning signs,” he says, grievance fixation, revenge fantasies, acquiring weapons, and they demand the same level of emergency attention.
  • Legal Systems Often Deliver Revenge, Not Justice
    Kimmel reflects on his time as a litigator: “Lawyers get paid to sell revenge under the brand name ‘justice.’” He urges professionals to be aware of how sanctioned systems can enable and normalize compulsive retribution.

For leaders in high-stakes environments, the message is clear: understanding the mechanics of grievance and retaliation isn’t just psychological, it’s strategic. Kimmel’s work offers actionable frameworks to recognize revenge-seeking before it becomes destructive, and calls for a deeper integration of neuroscience into how we define justice, manage risk, and lead with compassion.

Get The Science of Revenge here: https://www.jameskimmeljr.com/

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121: Strategy is in the details (Monday Morning 8 a.m. #6)

121: Strategy is in the details (Monday Morning 8 a.m. #6)

Hello everyone! This is Monday Morning 8 a.m., a weekly newsletter where we distill the insights from all of the distractions, articles, and emails that you receive in your inbox every day. In this newsletter, we’re going to focus on four major themes from last week’s news.    To listen to the audio version of this newsletter, search for “Strategy Skills” in any podcast app. To get a written copy with links to mentioned articles sign up here: www.firmsconsulting.com/promo

30 Marras 202025min

120: Focus only on valuation is shortsighted (Monday Morning 8 a.m. #5)

120: Focus only on valuation is shortsighted (Monday Morning 8 a.m. #5)

Hello everyone! This is Monday Morning 8 a.m., a weekly newsletter where we distill the insights from all of the distractions, articles, and emails that you receive in your inbox every day. In this newsletter, we’re going to focus on four major themes from last week’s news.    To listen to the audio version of this newsletter, search for “Strategy Skills” in any podcast app. To get a written copy with links to mentioned articles sign up here: www.firmsconsulting.com/promo

23 Marras 202028min

119: How to be a leader (Monday Morning 8 a.m. #4)

119: How to be a leader (Monday Morning 8 a.m. #4)

Hello everyone! This is Monday Morning 8 a.m., a weekly newsletter where we distill the insights from all of the distractions, articles, and emails that you receive in your inbox every day. In this newsletter, we’re going to focus on four major themes from last week’s news.    To listen to the audio version of this newsletter, search for “Strategy Skills” in any podcast app. To get a written copy with links to mentioned articles sign up here: www.firmsconsulting.com/promo

16 Marras 202028min

118: How to build a pandemic strategy (Monday Morning 8 a.m. #3)

118: How to build a pandemic strategy (Monday Morning 8 a.m. #3)

Hello, everyone! This is Monday Morning 8 a.m., a weekly newsletter where we distill the insights from all of the distractions, articles, and emails that you receive in your inbox every day. In this week’s newsletter, we’re going to focus on one overarching theme—risk—and you’ll see that theme running through all of the big stories this week. So let's see how this new Monday Morning 8 a.m. format goes. Every week we will look at 3-4 themes, or one theme and 3-4 subthemes. What are the big stories and what are the big implications. Let us know if you like or dislike the style. If you're enjoying the Monday Morning 8 a.m., I'd love it if you shared it with a friend or two. You can send them here to sign up. We try to make it one of the best emails/podcasts you get each week, and we hope you're enjoying it. Get written version of Monday Morning 8 a.m. with links to articles we mention: www.firmsconsulting.com/promo

9 Marras 202022min

117: Interview with the former CEO of Dunkin' Donuts, Robert Rosenberg

117: Interview with the former CEO of Dunkin' Donuts, Robert Rosenberg

Robert Rosenberg served as chief executive officer of Dunkin’ Donuts from 1963 until his retirement in 1998. For over 35 years! Under Robert's leadership, Dunkin’ Donuts grew from a regional family business to one of America’s best known and loved brands. Robert received his MBA from Harvard Business School, and just weeks after graduating at the age of 25, he assumed the position of chief executive officer. Upon his retirement, Rosenberg had grown the Dunkin’ Donuts chain to over 4,000 stores worldwide with annual system-wide sales in excess of $2 billion. In his book, Around The Corner To Around The World: A Dozen Lessons I Learned Running Dunkin’ Donuts, Robert shares many of the stories behind this historic company and actionable business advice. Checkout out our newsletter "Monday Morning 8 a.m."

6 Marras 20201h 2min

116: What is Netflix’s real strategy? (Monday Morning 8 a.m. #2)

116: What is Netflix’s real strategy? (Monday Morning 8 a.m. #2)

Hi, everyone. This is Monday Morning 8 a.m., a newsletter that goes out—as you guessed it—every Monday. You can listen to the audio version of this Monday Morning 8 a.m. episode by searching “Strategy Skills” in any podcast app! If you want to receive a written version of this podcast, with links to mentioned articles, you can sign up for it on www.firmsconsulting.com/promo   In this newsletter, we have one goal: to help you distill the insights from the noise out there. So here are the big themes we’re noticing in the news this week and the deep insights you should be extracting from those themes.

2 Marras 202032min

115: Tech, pandemics, growth, valuation (Monday Morning 8 a.m. #1)

115: Tech, pandemics, growth, valuation (Monday Morning 8 a.m. #1)

Hi, everyone. This is Monday Morning 8 a.m., a newsletter that goes out—as you guessed it—every Monday. You can listen to the audio version of this Monday Morning 8 a.m. episode by searching “Strategy Skills” in any podcast app or sign up for a written version here!    In this program, we have one goal: to help you distill the insights from the noise out there. So here are the big themes we’re noticing in the news this week and some of the deep insights you should be extracting from those themes.   www.firmsconsulting.com/promo

26 Loka 202021min

114: Design thinking. With IBM Director, Damon Deaner

114: Design thinking. With IBM Director, Damon Deaner

Damon Deaner is a director at IBM. In this interview, we focus on design thinking.  Get sample training episodes from our advanced strategy training programs: www.firmsconsulting.com/promo

14 Loka 20201h 2min

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