Attachment Theory and How to Avoid the Mistakes Everyone Makes When They Learn About It

76% of people regularly break promises to themselves - Why do we keep letting ourselves down? The uncomfortable truth about why your self-improvement efforts keep failing: it's not about motivation. It's about managing the gap between who you are and who you want to be. This episode breaks down the exact psychology behind why we disappoint ourselves (hint: your brain is lying to you) and gives you 5 practical systems to fix it. No fluff. No guru BS. Just actionable frameworks. What you'll learn: How to kill your past self (respectfully) Five counter-intuitive strategies that actually work (backed by science) How to upgrade your mental software without becoming a self-help robot Upgrade to Premium: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: 5 Science-Backed Ways to Stop Disappointing Yourself - Live Gracefully Chapters: 00:00 W disappointing yourself 01:09 #1 - Past self vs. present self 02:26 Lesson 1 - Live in reality and change it if you don't like it 04:11 #2 - Future self vs the present 04:37 James Clear's advice 06:17 Lesson 2 - Forget any ideas of your future self that do not align with actions that you want to do in the present 07:28 #3 - Speaking vs. being heard 08:32 If you want to give opinions, it helps if you have authority 11:15 Lesson 3 - Actions are louder than words 11:22 #4 - Taking ownership 13:27 Lesson #4 Don't blame others 15:23 #5 - Expectation vs Reality 17:53 Systems to achieve your goals 20:28 Lessons 5 - Success is about systems, not expectations 20:54 Summary 22:36 Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

7 Helmi 26min

A high IQ isn't useful if you can't make decent life decisions. Drawing from neuroscience and behavioural psychology, this episode delivers practical frameworks for cognitive development. You'll discover: No-nonsense tools to stop overthinking and start actually learning from your mistakes Real-world examples of how reflection beats raw intelligence A simple system for turning life's patterns into practical wisdom Research-basked methods for implementing reflection practices and deliberate learning Backed by real examples and zero fluff, this episode shares timeless principles that work for anyone, regardless of IQ. Perfect for ambitious professionals seeking to optimize their cognitive performance and decision-making capabilities. Upgrade to Premium: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Sponsors: 💼 LinkedIn Jobs - The largest professional network in the world Advertise your job for free - LinkedIn.com/growth Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: Intelligence By Design: 10 Ways to Engineer Your Mind For Wisdom Chapters: 00:00 Making more intelligent decisions 01:05 Behaving intelligently 08:31 Spotting patterns in your environment and learning from them 12:27 Experiment and adapt quickly 13:54 Lesson about spotting patterns 16:57 Put more time 18:55 Be an intelligent investor 25:32 Questions that will give a motivational boost if you're feeling lost 27:10 Journaling prompts 29:31 Feedback from peers and friends 32:05 Therapy and coaching 33:40 Deliberate practice 37:10 Send off Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

4 Helmi 41min

Ego loves company. But success? Success loves silence. Ever noticed how the loudest person in the room rarely has the most interesting thing to say? There's a reason for that. And it's the same reason why Elizabeth Holmes is in prison while the world's best operators are probably people you've never heard of. In this episode: - The "Washington Protocol": How America's first president used strategic humility to build an empire (and why modern leaders keep missing the point) - Lehman Brothers' $600 billion ego trip: A masterclass in how NOT to handle success - The Blockbuster Effect: When being the best becomes your worst enemy This isn't just another episode about ego. It's a blueprint for building the kind of confidence that whispers instead of shouts. Because real success? It doesn't need a megaphone. Related reading: Ego is the Enemy - Ryan Holiday A New Earth - Eckhart Tolle Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself - Michael Singer Upgrade to Premium: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Sponsors: 💼 LinkedIn Jobs - The largest professional network in the world Advertise your job for free - LinkedIn.com/growth Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: Ego and the Prisoner of Success: 3 ways to build silent confidence Chapters: 00:00 Ego as a blocker for growth 03:35 #1 Ego and new starts 08:31 Lesson from George Washington 09:16 5 problems of ego when starting new things 11:12 #2 Ego and success 13:16 5 areas where ego can block you 18:57 #3 Ego and Failure 21:52 5 areas that ego can blind us 24:50 Accepting and learning from your failures 25:59 Wrap up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

31 Tammi 30min

Make time your secret weapon. Our success and happiness are often eroded by the 7 habits of highly impatient people. We are losing the ability to focus and glorify instant success. Thus we lose the ability to stick with anything and create meaningful work. This episode goes through the psychology and philosophy of taking a slower and deeper approach to life: Understand the causes behind our poor attention spans Create resilience in your work Grow lasting momentum instead of bursts of speed From ancient stoic philosophers to the latest neuroscience. The signs are all put together in the episode that will help you focus your life and make time work towards your success. Upgrade to Premium: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Sponsors: 💼 LinkedIn Jobs - The largest professional network in the world Advertise your job for free - LinkedIn.com/growth Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: Instant Gratification and the Death of Mastery: How to Refocus Your Life Chapters: 00:00 Slowing down as a key to success 01:45 The allure and pitfalls of instant gratification 03:56 Building momentum 06:40 Optionality diminishes focus and inertia 10:35 Michael Jordan vs. high school star 12:03 Modern dating and the problem with optionality 12:54 ADVERT 13:03 Social media fuels our addiction to speed 15:38 Marcus Aurelius on the power of slowing down 16:53 Evaluating daily choices that speed you up or slow you down 17:38 Slowing down for happiness and growth 20:04 Realizations of ADHD 20:45 Going "all in" builds momentum 21:26 Send off Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

28 Tammi 25min

What If Everything You Knew About Success Was Backward? Our lives are shaped by contradictions: The harder we chase happiness, the further it seems. The more freedom we gain, the more constrained we feel. You need money to be happy, but then chasing money makes you miserable. The more we learn, the more we realize we know absolutely nothing These are some of life’s paradoxes, and they are as profound as they are puzzling. In this episode, we explore 16 of these paradoxes, breaking down their underlying logic and what they reveal about the human condition. We’ll unpack why they exist, how they shape your life without you even noticing, and how to embrace the absurdity instead of letting it drive you insane. Drawing on philosophy, psychology, and practical insights, we’ll show how embracing these paradoxes can lead to a richer, more intentional life. It’s an invitation to think deeply, challenge assumptions, and find clarity in life’s complexities. Upgrade to Premium: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Sponsors: 💼 LinkedIn Jobs - The largest professional network in the world Advertise your job for free - LinkedIn.com/growth Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: 16 Strange but Beautiful Paradoxes of Life; The hidden keys to fulfilment Chapters: 00:00 16 paradoxes of life 02:08 Advice Paradox 02:56 More can be less Paradox 03:39 Freedom Paradox 05:12 Growth Paradox 06:28 Wisdom Paradox 07:44 Intelligence Paradox 09:14 Persuasion Paradox 10:20 Insecurity screams and confidence whispers 11:47 Simple future paradox 13:33 Productivity Paradox 16:45 Stress relieves stress 17:40 Harder is easier 18:32 Unpleasant moments create pleasant memories 19:14 Failure Paradox 19:35 Control Paradox 20:17 Happiness Paradox 21:59 Death Paradox 22:53 Send off Topics: Understanding life's paradoxes psychology podcast episode Exploring paradoxes in growth mindset and self-improvement Freedom Paradox insights for personal development Growth Paradox discussion in psychology and philosophy Navigating the Wisdom Paradox in self-improvement journeys Intelligence Paradox implications for growth mindset Persuasion techniques and the Persuasion Paradox Insecurity and confidence dynamics in personal growth Simplifying complex thoughts for mental clarity Productivity strategies and the Productivity Paradox Using stress management techniques to relieve stress Approaching challenges with the Harder is Easier mindset Creating positive memories from unpleasant experiences Learning from failure with the Failure Paradox The Control Paradox in psychology and personal development Finding true happiness with the Happiness Paradox Memento Mori and the Death Paradox in life philosophy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

24 Tammi 25min

What if the path to true growth begins with admitting how little you actually know? The teachings of the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates tells us to use questions to expose holes in conventional thinking. If you enjoy learning about psychology, self-development, and the inner workings behind success, you’ll discover proven wisdom from ancient Greece on getting out of your own way. Hear unique Socratic tactics for: Questioning assumptions Overcoming knowledge bias Admitting what you don’t know. Learn more about the psychology of Stoicism, critical thinking, and the inner workings of progress. Socrates is the master at helping us live more thoughtfully and discover our own blindspots. Upgrade to Premium: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Sponsors: 💼 LinkedIn Jobs - The largest professional network in the world Advertise your job for free - LinkedIn.com/growth Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Chapters 00:00 Socrates: The Father of Philosophy 01:02 Wisdom in Admitting Ignorance 01:43 Who Was Socrates? 02:15 Socratic Questioning and Human Thinking 05:15 The Charity Conundrum 06:42 Socratic Questions for Self-Improvement 09:56 Failure as a Path to Learning 10:54 Living with Honor and Integrity 12:01 The Hard Work of Personal Integrity 13:53 The Philosophy of Knowledge and Ignorance 14:34 Understanding Human Behavior 17:58 Achieving Inner Peace and Happiness Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

21 Tammi 22min

Timeless laws to focus on what matters and live free of stress and anxiety. No matter what life throws your way this year, adopting a Stoic mindset can set you up for both success and satisfaction. Join our host, Sam Webster Harris, as he walks through 24 powerful Stoic rules that are just as important today as 2000 years ago. The lessons will help you develop more mindfulness, discipline, generosity, calmness, and contentment in your life. We'll tackle big ideas like controlling what you can control, letting go of resentment, and finding joy in simple things. So tune in to learn how embracing voluntary discomfort, practising gratitude, and reviewing your actions can help you achieve equanimity and personal growth. With a little bit of Stoic philosophy in your back pocket, you'll be ready to handle whatever comes your way with grace and wisdom. Episode recommendations: Gratitude Lessons (That Don't Suck) Diagnose and Fix Your Real Problems Upgrade to Premium: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Sponsors: 💼 LinkedIn Jobs - The largest professional network in the world Advertise your job for free - LinkedIn.com/growth Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Chapters 00:00 The answer for living a good life 01:31 Pre-roll advert 01:35 24 Rules of Stoicism 02:02 #1 02:49 #2 04:29 #3 06:47 #4 07:47 #5 09:43 #6 10:47 #7 11:46 #8 13:25 #9 14:45 #10 16:05 #11 17:27 BetterHelp ad 18:46 #12 19:42 #13 20:37 #14 21:31 #15 22:25 #16 23:25 #17 24:39 #18 25:21 #19 26:01 #20 27:01 #21 27:41 #22 28:53 #23 29:53 #24 30:33 Bonus Topics: biggest lessons of stoicism stoicism principles and mindsets ancient stoic wisdom growth mindset psychology resilience and grit cultivating generosity gratitude practices Everyday mindfulness self-discipline and growth reflection, improvement learning self-improvement podcast ancient philosophy for modern times live like a stoic boosting inner strength handling adversity overcoming challenges and setbacks Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

17 Tammi 33min

Strategic decision-making approaches to build wisdom in your everyday decisions. Annie Duke is the author of Thinking in Bets - A book full of genius psychology and poker tips to help you build mental models to make better decisions. Annie is a psychologist studying cognitive behavioural decision science and in her life as a professional poker player she won the World Series. She was even the highest-paid female player in history when she retired. Her psychology helped her poker and her poker helped her psychology. The summation of her lessons are wrapped up in the book 'thinking in bets' and in today's episode I break down my 5 favourite rules and mental models from the book that are worth using in your life. At a simple level, building wisdom is the process of making better decisions. Nothing more. so that's what we're going to learn about today Related episodes 163: Making bets that pay off - Annie Duke - 23rd March 2021 Apple - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/163-making-bets-that-pay-off-annie-duke-author-speaker/id1273606075?i=1000514050530 Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/episode/1GXnNJqhPfZJtLxb7M3dCp?si=8e8a2edaa82f4ada Thinking Fast and Slow - 12th July 2024 Upgrade to Premium: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Sponsors: 💼 LinkedIn Jobs - The largest professional network in the world Advertise your job for free - LinkedIn.com/growth Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Chapters 00:00 Thinking in Bets summary - Understanding life's chances 01:56 How Annie Got into Poker 04:24 Rule 1 - Seek Truth 05:26 Rule 2 - Do not chase losses 07:08 Mental models 07:35 Model 1 - Wisdom is good choices - (you don't know what a good choice is) 10:32 Model 2 - Question common knowledge 12:55 Model 3 - Make bets Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

14 Tammi 17min