287 SelfWork: Changing Your Chatter: A Conversation with Researcher and Author Ethan Kross

If you like SelfWork because we talk about "what you can do about it," this interview will be incredibly helpful to you! As a therapist who focuses a lot on how to move from negative, destructive thinking to much more positive, motivating self-talk - I've learned that HOW you talk to yourself highly influences what you actually do. I've asked people who are fighting viciously with one another to imagine what they want their relationship to look like in five years - and all of a sudden, their communication improves or is less vitriolic. In order to distance from pain, someone will move from saying "I feel..," into referring to themselves in second tense. "When something like this happens, you feel...". It's good emotional management.

It turns out these "techniques" have names or labels! Ethan Kross is a highly respected researcher from the University of Michigan - and his new book Chatter; The Voice In Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It identifies, verifies, and organizes these techniques for you! He's one of the world’s leading experts on controlling the conscious mind and as an award-winning professor in the University of Michigan’s top ranked Psychology Department and its Ross School of Business, he's the director of the Emotion & Self Control Laboratory. His research and teachings can show you how you can very purposefully change the way you talk to yourself so that you find more calm, resolution, creativity, and empowerment. And he tells animated stories of how that chatter can lead to struggle, giving Simone Biles as a recent example. She opted out of the last Olympics due to her awareness that her own thinking was negatively influencing her performance and in so doing, honored the idea that your mental well-being and inner life has to be considered when making decisions.

So in this episode, sponsored by Athletic Greens or AG1, I know you'll be fascinated by his inspiring and useful ways of changing your inner conversation!

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You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has been published and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it’s available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

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