48. Becoming A Confident Leader: Apology Behavior & Taking Responsibility

Big thought: One of the hardest parts about becoming a leader is the weight of responsibility that comes with it. It can feel overwhelming to feel like different initiatives or even sometimes the entire organization is relying on you. It can feel either frustrating or discouraging when you run into problems or failed goals with all of that pressure coming down on you and your ego/identity. Learning how to handle those challenges and situations is something that takes humility and experiences of lessons learned.

In today’s episode, we’re going to talk about the importance of taking responsibility as a leader and how to navigate it in an authentic way without feeling like you have to apologize for everything. We’re going to break down the essence of taking responsibility and then talk about when you should and shouldn’t apologize. And we’re going to finish by talking about the necessity of being genuine in the midst of mistakes or goals unmet.

This is important to talk about because it can feel incredibly confusing in the moment when wondering what to do. Whether it’s addressing someone else as the blame or going through the motions of apologizing, there’s not a one size fits all approach. You have to learn how to assess each situation and critically think about what happened and what should be done next.

1. Taking Actual Responsibility.

As a foundation to what we’re going to be talking about, it is our job as leaders to take responsibility. That means setting the culture for your team and organization and also teaching your people how to take responsibility themselves. You need to do your due diligence in interviewing, training, correcting and rewarding people. If your team is making the same mistakes over and over, it’s your responsibility to correct the course and show people accountability. You end up hurting good staff and volunteers when bad ones are left with no responsibility for their actions.

2. When To Take The Blame.

Even while you’re trying your best to not make mistakes, mistakes are going to happen. Whether it’s on you or someone else. It’s our job to learn from them, correct the course and move onward. Apologize to your team when you feel like you made an oversight or mistake, but don’t feel the need to apologize for the things that were genuinely out of your control. If there was a power failure or unexpected technical issue, you don’t have to take the heat for it. And if it was someone else who dropped the ball entirely, you don’t have to steal the blame from them. Your team needs to learn how to grow and take responsibility too if you ever want to grow as an organization or ministry.

3. Be A Real Person.

When you position yourself as a leader always apologizing for things that aren’t even your fault, you unintentionally portray yourself as either an insecure or ingenuine leader, both of which come across as being a weak leader. When you seem like a weak leader, the best people on your team will eventually leave to find a strong leader.

Take away:

1. Do an internal assessment of yourself and how you handle the direction for your ministry or organization. Do you blame your staff, your consumers or yourself for where you’re currently at? What can you do to fix the course?

2. Assess your type of apology behavior. Do you own up to your mistakes? Do you take the blame for others? Do you deflect the blame to chaos? Adjust your behavior to be both reasonable and responsible.

3. Practice being a real person who leads. Be intentional about building morale in the midst of mistakes. Practice addressing people who’ve been slacking and encourage others who have been grinding.

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