142. Theme Shifting OCD and Relationship Anxiety: How to Tell What’s Real

Learn all things OCD with the OCD Whisperer Podcast.   Let's talk about Relationship OCD!    R-OCD  Are you doing any of these things: Checking to see if your partner is the one? Checking if the relationship feels right? Nitpicking your partners appearance or flaws? Compulsively analyzing if your partner is a good fit?  Are they passionate enough?  Are they funny enough? And so on... Are you accommodating your OCD by involving others by asking their opinions and you end up talking to several people only to end up more confused and uncertain? Are you comparing your relationship to other relationships you think are ideal? Are you compulsively reading books, article online in an attempt to figure this out and again only end up more confused or even bring more fuel to the already existing OCD fire and end up fighting with your partner? Reminders: This can happen in any relationships you have that includes friends, co-workers, intimate relationships, family and so on The first thing to look for is are you compulsing especially mentally?  This is where you must do some work!  Interrupt your mental behavioral patterns! Episode 5 is about Compulsive Rumination (I suggest you have a listen!) _____   IG @ocdwhisperer Resources for OCD  eBk: How to Stop Compulsive Rumination + 30 day journal _____ Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes.  Though I am a licensed marriage and family therapist in California & specialize in OCD and Anxiety Disorders, this does not replace therapy.    See you in the next episode!   Keep going in the meantime.   *Episodes come out out bi-weekly.

28 Heinä 202013min

Learn all things OCD with the OCD Whisperer Podcast.   Let's talk about dreams and OCD!    #1 Tip to help you: Response Prevention Once you are awake (regardless if it is middle of the night from a dream or organically in the morning) and the OCD related dream tries to hook you in, slow down for a second and get clear on what you are doing.  Are you doing ANY compulsions in ANY way? Once you get your conscious awareness to the present moment, interrupt your mental rituals!  And engage in behaviors that are opposite of your OCD urge.  Break it down into smaller steps if you need too for example: 10 min timer to challenge avoidance seeking behaviors or reassurance seeking behaviors or wanting to look something up on line. Repeat these steps often!  And stay with your Response Prevention Self Talk for a while if you need to especially if you are having a harder OCD flare up.  Your brain is a muscle and you have to keep practicing your new skills and reinforce them!   _____   IG @ocdwhisperer Resources for OCD  eBk: How to Stop Compulsive Rumination + 30 day journal   _____ Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes.  Though I am a licensed marriage and family therapist in California & specialize in OCD and Anxiety Disorders, this does not replace therapy.    See you in the next episode!   Keep going in the meantime.    *Episodes come out out bi-weekly.

13 Heinä 202014min

Learn all things OCD with the OCD Whisperer Podcast.   Let's talk about committed action and why it is important.  There are some self-evaluation questions you need to ask yourself.     Self- evaluation questions: Am I currently living my life in a way that is truly in alignment with my values in the context of my life? Am I engaging in a range of behaviors that are connected to my deepest wishes and longings? What am I currently doing? (1 min and 50 sec more q's) What kind of life do I want to live? How do I  want to show up? What is getting in the way of me taking committed action?  What is it costing me? _____   IG @ocdwhisperer Resources for OCD  eBk: How to Stop Compulsive Rumination + 30 day journal   _____ Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes.  Though I am a licensed marriage and family therapist in California, this does not replace therapy.  See you in the next episode! Keep going in the meantime. *Episodes come out out bi-weekly.

29 Kesä 202012min

Learn all things OCD with the OCD Whisperer Podcast.   Today I cover 3 things you DO NOT want to do If You Love Someone With OCD.   Do not try to think your way out of OCD!  Using logic and rationale will only perpetuate the compulsive analysis cycle!   Instead remind the person it is OCD flaring up and what OCD is. Do not provide incessant reassurance!  This will give momentary relief only to reinforce the OCD cycle and more questions will come up, even anger and a more desperate attempt to have certainty that everything will be OK.   Instead lovingly and with warmth set limits of how much reassurance you will provide (we all do need reassurance sometimes). Do not accommodate OCD!  This will feed the cycle and make it last longer! Instead create a step by step plan to reduce accommodations. _____   @ocdwhisperer Resources for OCD  OCD Journal and Planner: CBT based tracker   _____ Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes.  Though I am a licensed marriage and family therapist in California, this does not replace therapy.  See you in the next episode! Keep going.   *Episodes come out out bi-weekly.

15 Kesä 202013min

Learn all things OCD with the OCD Whisperer Podcast.   Today I am answering some questions that got direct messaged to me on my Instagram account @ocdwhisperer. Unintentional thought suppression question and how to have acceptance. Comparing your OCD to Instagram posts to validate or invalidate your own experience question. Can someone with OCD find a friend or a partner who also has OCD and can there be positive benefits? Checking feelings for proof if the obsession is true or not or checking if feeling something and that leads to actually feeling something. _____   IG @ocdwhisperer Resources for OCD  OCD Journal and Planner: CBT based tracker   _____ Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes.  Though I am a licensed marriage and family therapist in California, this does not replace therapy.  See you in the next episode! Keep going in the meantime. *Episodes come out out bi-weekly.

1 Kesä 202017min

Learn all things OCD with the OCD Whisperer Podcast. Today we are talking about Mindset work. What are you paying attention to?  Consciously direct your attention! What meaning you assign to your anxiety experience does influence how you feel about it.  (Is anxiety a threat?  Did you assign meaning to it that you cannot handle it?) What you choose to do in response to your anxiety will either feed it or break it.   Compulsively neutralizing it strengthens it. Maybe OCD is an opportunity for growth? Everyday is an opportunity to practice. _____   IG @ocdwhisperer   Resources for OCD  OCD Journal and Planner: CBT based tracker   _____ Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes.  Though I am a licensed marriage and family therapist in California, this does not replace therapy.  See you in the next episode! Keep going in the meantime.   *Episodes will be coming out bi-weekly.

17 Touko 202013min

Learn all things OCD with the OCD Whisperer Podcast. Today we are talking about Compulsions! Themes of different compulsive behaviors: Avoidance Compulsive crying (other OCD influenced emotions) Self reassurance (sneaking them in sometimes) Decontamination Checking Magical compulsions Perfectionistic compulsions Counting Tracing Touching/ tapping Mental compulsions (there is an episode just on this) Protective compulsions Body focused Self-mutilating (cutting, burning) Hair pulling/ skin picking (this may or may not be due to OCD, it may be due to trichotillomania mean hair pulling or excoriation-means skin picking) _____   IG @ocdwhisperer Resources for OCD  OCD Journal and Planner: CBT based tracker   ____ Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes.  Though I am a licensed marriage and family therapist in California, this does not replace therapy.  See you in the next episode! Keep going.   *Episodes will be coming out bi-weekly.

5 Touko 202021min

Learn all things OCD with the OCD Whisperer Podcast. Today we are talking about Motivation: it is an on-going dynamic process. Take away strategies are: Break your ERP exercises or any goals down into small steps that you can do right NOW.  Focus on the present- what can you do NOW to start? Set limits with distractions- say no to them. Watch for your rationalizations of all the "should's" and not doing anything and then your inner critic coming out to judge yourself and feel bad like guilt, shame, embarrassment.  This cycle feeds onto itself. Catch it and tell yourself maybe I should have done x,y,z- but right NOW I will do x and focus on the here and now and start. Reflect on even small accomplishments because then you focus on your success and that will feed your confidence and you may feel motivated to do the next ERP exercise and build on it and take action.  _____   OCD Journal and Planner: CBT based tracker IG @ocdwhisperer Resources for OCD   _____ Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes.  Though I am a licensed marriage and family therapist in California, this does not replace therapy.  See you in the next episode! Keep going.   *Episodes will be coming out bi-weekly.

20 Huhti 202012min