Focused Living :: Shontell Brewer [SOM Wk 3]

What does strength look like to you? Does it look like white knuckling it, holding your breath? Or does it look like putting your oxygen mask on first, and then attending to the needs of others?  We all want to, need to be strong for those around us. But my guest this week reminds us there is a cost to being certain kinds of strong. Aundi Kolber is an author and therapist and her new book, Strong Like Water, helps unpack what true strength looks like and feels like and how to get there. In our conversation she encourages us in the practices of self-compassion and grounding and helps us see how white knuckling it is actually detrimental to our relationships and if we will pay attention to ourselves we can show up better for the people we hold dear.  Connect with Aundi Kolber:  Website:  https://aundikolber.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aundikolberwrites  Instagram:  @aundikolber  Twitter: @aundikolber    Links Mentioned:   Strong Like Water: Finding the Freedom, Safety, and Compassion to Move Through Hard Things – And Experience True Flourishing by Aundi Kolber  Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us Out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode –and into a Life of Connection and Joy by Aundi Kolber    Exclusive Pre-Order:  Pre-Order Right Where You Belong: How to Identify and Fully Occupy Your God-Given Space and receive a FREE audiobook copy, narrated by Heather MacFadyen Related Episodes: The Window of Tolerance :: Charissa Fry [Ep 260] True Intimacy with God :: Mo Isom Aiken [Ep 318] Quiet Your Inner Critic and Practice Self-Compassion :: Kim Frederickson [Ep 188] Walking Through Seasons of Unbelonging :: Shauna Niequist [Ep 362] Featured Sponsors:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

20 Maalis 202356min

12Where do you turn for answers? Answers in parenting, answers in your career, answers when you encounter the negativity that seems to be lurking around every corner of life these days? My guest this week is a mom who came to a crossroads early in her parenting journey - what will I teach my kids about God? What do I even know about God?  In the hiddens years of mothering her small children a deep relationship with God was forged that would serve as the foundation for Candace Cameron Bure’s life. It directs how she mothers, her return to the entertainment industry, and her forays into entrepreneurship.  Candace is, among many other titles, host of the Candace Cameron Bure Podcast where Heather will join her as co-host for season 2 of the show!  Connect with Candace Cameron Bure:  Website:  https://candacecbure.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/candacecameron  Instagram:  @candacebure @candacecameronburepodcast  Twitter: @candacebure  TikTok: candacecameronb Links Mentioned:   The Bible Recap with Tara-Leigh Cobble Candace Cameron Bure Podcast  Candace’s Clothing Line  DaySpring Candace Cameron Bure Collection Related Episodes: How to be Calm and Kind Under Pressure :: Candace Cameron Bure [Ep 223]   Exclusive Pre-Order:  Pre-Order Right Where You Belong: How to Identify and Fully Occupy Your God-Given Space

13 Maalis 202344min

Join Bruce and Heather for a Q + A episode where they talk about the importance of connection and communication in their marriage (Happy 24th Anniversary!  🎉🥳) and what it looks like to be in the thick of parenting teens.  Links Mentioned:    Champion Tribes Feeding the Mouth That Bites You: A Complete Guide to Parenting Adolescents and Launching Them Into the World by Kenneth Wilgus, PhD.  Townsend Sheet of Emotional Needs (scroll down below the show notes)   Related Episodes: Communication that Connects :: Kimberly Galindo [Ep 396] Freeing Your Adolescents to Step Into Adulthood - Ages and Stages - Teens :: Dr. Ken Wilgus [Ep 382 Bruce Learns to Label His Feelings :: Bruce and Heather  [Ep 316] 20th Anniversary Q + A :: Bruce and Heather [Ep 242] The Right to Change My Mind :: Bruce and Heather [Ep 196] This is Us :: Bruce and Heather [Ep 145] Goals, Roles, and Superpowers :: Bruce and Heather MacFadyen [Ep 112]   Exclusive Pre-Order:  Pre-Order Right Where You Belong: How to Identify and Fully Occupy Your God-Given Space Featured Sponsors:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

6 Maalis 202338min

What does a child need to flourish? There are a million answers to that question, but in all honesty, it’s a little different for each child. We have so many tools available to us to help us see our own personalities and tendencies more clearly. My guest this week is mom and author Karen Stubbs. She challenges us to be students of our kids’ personalities - to tell them the way they are wired is a good gift from God. She encourages us to learn our kids. Not just to correct or discipline them, but to celebrate the way God has made them, help them grow into their strengths, and give them eyes to see their weakness with kindness and grace. Through her ministry, Birds on a Wire, parents can take a quiz to help understand their child’s unique personality and then be equipped to shepherd each unique personality well.  Connect with Karen Stubbs:  Website:  https://birdsonawiremoms.com/karenstubbs  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BirdsonaWireMoms/  Instagram: @karenstubbs  @birdsonawiremoms  Twitter: @BOAWMoms  Podcast: Wire Talk Links Mentioned:   Personality Plus for Parents: Understanding What Makes Your Child Tick by Florence Littauer  Birds on a Wire Personality Color Quiz Wire Talk Podcast Series on Personality  The Art of Motherhood by Karen Stubbs  Survival Guide to Motherhood: Learn to Thrive, Not Just Survive by Karen Stubbs PDF:: How to Parent Each Type  Related Episodes: Honoring Others :: Rachel Wade [Ep 348]  Temperament Guide: Help for All Types of Moms to All Types of Kids [Ep 14]  Understanding Boys Better :: David Thomas [Ep 315] Exclusive Pre-Order:  Pre-Order Right Where You Belong: How to Identify and Fully Occupy Your God-Given Space Featured Sponsors:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

27 Helmi 202347min

Why do you think God created women?  We know from Genesis that God didn’t say, “We have all these fish, we may as well have women too,” but instead he said, “It is not good” without women. Women take on all sorts of roles in our society, but it can be particularly difficult to suss out what exactly is our role in church and leadership.  My guest this week is theologian Joel Muddamalle. Joel serves as the Director of Theology and Research for Proverbs 31 Ministries among other teaching and preaching responsibilities. In our conversation this week we dive into both the Complementarian and Egalitarian viewpoints as well as receiving gentle encouragement of the great value God places on women and the charge to approach these issues with humility.  Connect with Joel Muddamalle:  Website:  https://muddamalle.com  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Muddamalle/  Instagram:  @muddamalle  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@muddamalle  Links Mentioned:   Complimentarian Theologians  Dr. Tom Schreiner Egalitarian Theologians Lynn Cohick  Craig Keener Craig Blomberg Related Episodes: Gender and Sexuality :: Preston Sprinkle [Ep 370] Women Can Be All In For Jesus :: Kat Armstrong [Ep 253]  Exclusive Pre-Order:  Pre-Order Right Where You Belong: How to Identify and Fully Occupy Your God-Given Space Featured Sponsors:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

20 Helmi 202356min

With phrases like “you complete me” our culture idealizes connection between spouses or even friends that has no boundaries.  This brand of intimacy sounds appealing but it doesn’t work well practically. Our desire for connection is innate, but vulnerability is messy and risky. My guest this week, Kimberly Galindo, encourages us instead that the point where “I” end and “you” begin is the point where we’re different, but it is our real point of connection.  In our conversation Kimberly gives us some tools to communicate in a way that fosters connection, but maintains our separate personhood.  Kimberly is a licensed therapist with experience helping married couples and individuals connect well in many areas.  Connect with Kimberly Galindo:  Website:  https://www.aspenhausassociates.com/kimberly-galindo  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thekimberlygalindo  Instagram:  @thekimberlygalindo  Related Episodes: Self-Differentiation and Why it Matters :: Nancy Houston [Ep 335]  Bruce Learns to Label His Feelings :: Bruce and Heather [Ep 316] Exclusive Pre-Order:  Pre-Order Right Where You Belong: How to Identify and Fully Occupy Your God-Given Space Featured Sponsors:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

13 Helmi 202348min

Some of our precious kiddos live with their sensitivity and intensity turned up a notch from the rest of us. What we think should be simple or routine can trigger big outbursts from our kids. Daily life might feel chaotic or unpredictable.  As a mom of a sensitive or intense child you probably have a good idea of what doesn’t work, but it can be hard to discern what will help in those moments. My guests this week are Lynne Jackson and Lydia Rex of Connected Families. Together, they have compiled research and real life experiences from over a 100 families of children who are sensitive and intense and created a parenting course to support and equip parents.  Lynne and her husband Jim have been regulars on Don’t Mom Alone encouraging moms (and dads) that it is possible to connect with your child, to coach them, and correct them - you never have to lose one to have the other. Lydia joins Lynne in the thick of parenting her own sensitive and intense children to encourage moms to draw from the limitless well of Christ’s love for yourself and your child in real-life challenging situations.  Connect with Lynne Jackson & Lydia Rex:  Website:  https://connectedfamilies.org/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ConnectedFamilies  Instagram:  @connectedfams Links Mentioned:   Connected Families - Your Sensitive Intense Child  Connected Families Sensitive & Intense Kids Online Course  Connected Families - 7 Practical Calming Strategies for Kids  Related Episodes: Grace and Truth for Moms :: Lynne Jackson [Ep 296] Helping Your Children With Sensory Processing Issues :: Lynne Jackson [Ep 258]  Connected Relationships (LIVE Event) :: Jim and Lynne Jackson [Ep 222] Discipline 101 (LIVE Event - Friday Night) :: Jim and Lynne Jackson [Ep 221] The Entitlement Fix :: Jim and Lynne Jackson [Ep 200]  Bonus Mentor Episode - Resolving Sibling Conflict :: Jim and Lynne Jackson [Ep 126]  Connecting With Your Kids in Any Circumstance :: Jim and Lynne Jackson [Ep 98] How to Connect, Coach and Correct Your Child :: Jim and Lynne Jackson [Ep 81] Help Your Child Feel Safe and Loved :: Jim and Lynne Jackson [Ep 80] Exclusive Pre-Order:  Pre-Order Right Where You Belong: How to Identify and Fully Occupy Your God-Given Space Featured Sponsors:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

6 Helmi 202359min

Who saw all that you’ve done today? Anyone? A mom’s work usually goes unacknowledged. We want to measure our work by how the house looks or how the children behave, or by how put together we look when we go out. But my guest this week, Ann Voskamp, invites us to prioritize the unseen. She dares us to prioritize things like the riches of Christ, the promise of an eternity in his presence that is “utterly and completely fulfilling,” and our relationships with those around us.  She helps us see the value in “signpost” parenting - not overly concerned with outcomes we cannot control, but deeply committed to continually pointing our kids to Christ and the sufficiency of His great love for us.  Ann is a mom to 7, farmer’s wife and author of several books including her newest, Your Brave Song: An Inspirational Children’s Picture Book That Shows How Faith in Jesus Can Help Kids Overcome Fear, Worry, and Anxiety.  Connect with Ann Voskamp:  Website:  https://annvoskamp.com  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AnnVoskamp  Instagram:  @annvoskamp  Links Mentioned:   Your Brave Song: An Inspirational Children’s Picture Book That Shows How Faith in Jesus Can Help Kids Overcome Fear, Worry, and Anxiety by Ann Voskamp Waymaker: A Dare to Hope by Ann Voskamp Related Episodes: How to {really} Parent with Grace :: Jeannie Cunnion [Ep 55] How to be Calm and Kind Under Pressure :: Candace Cameron Bure [Ep223] Week Four Summer of Mentorship 2020 :: Sally Clarkson  Exclusive Pre-Order:  Pre-Order Right Where You Belong: How to Identify and Fully Occupy Your God-Given Space Featured Sponsors:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

30 Tammi 202355min