Focused Living :: Shontell Brewer [SOM Wk 3]

Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him.

6 Kesä 201648min

It’s not a magic formula. But almost. This week’s guest is Dr. Emerson Eggerichs (New York Times Best Selling author of “Love & Respect”). He has opened my eyes to the high value of respect with boys & men with his newest book, “Mother and Son: The Respect Effect**”. ‘Game changer.               With this new “respect effect” perspective, interactions with my boys have changed. Before a word comes out of my mouth I’m evaluating if the tone is positive and the correction is focused on the behavior and not the person. I’ve also noticed how I alter what I say when helping them get along with one another (e.g., “Are you respecting your brother when you take the toy he is playing with?”). I know, I know. A few weeks ago I published a parenting boys episode. I promise an interview with Sissy Goff is in the works, to help moms with girls (she leads a camp all summer. . .so we’ll be chatting in the Fall). But just like with the other parenting boys episode, whether you have sons or daughters, after listening you will understand your husband better. That’s a very good thing. And I know, I know, I share several books on the podcast. Each of my guests is selected with a lot of thought and consideration. Deciding to only introduce you to books that I would want to read myself. But this book sits at the top of the summer reading list. Seriously. (Just ask all my friends which book they see me toting around and talking about this month 😉 ). What we chat about: How the popular “Love & Respect” message applies to mother & son relationships. Recognizing that honor motivates men (and our boys). How teen girls respond differently than teen boys to a mom’s critique. A great definition of “respect”. How to hold boundaries with our boys, but still respect their spirits. A specific example of how to apply “respect talk” with your boys. How this respect effect can be applied by teachers in the classroom. Using the acronym “CHAIRS” to identify areas you can use respect talk. How it’s never to late to start. Links Mentioned: Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs ** Ephesians 5:25 “ Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” Love & Respect in the Family: The Respect Parents Desire; The Love Children Need ** **Amazon affiliate links

30 Touko 201649min

Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him.

23 Touko 201641min

Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him.

13 Touko 201637min

I’m not a boy. Yet I’m raising four of them to be men. And as much as culture tries to tell us there aren’t differences between boys and girls. My every day experience begs to differ. I truly don’t understand the “why” behind most of my boys’ choices. And it never benefits me to ask. This week (for my own help and maybe yours too) I’ve invited David Thomas on the show. As a family therapist and director at DayStar Counseling Center in Nashville, David has lots of experience counseling families and children. Having his own set of twin boys has provided a lot of education as well. The first book I ever read that gave me a glimpse into the mind of a boy is David’s book “Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys”**.  Then I heard him speak at a DotMom event and I’ve always wanted to have him on the show. Our conversation did not disappoint. David’s genteel manner and calm approach gave me such peace. Afterwards I felt encouraged and equipped to not only “handle” my boys but enjoy their uniqueness. David answered a slew of questions I received on Facebook from listeners. But a theme emerged in each topic we covered: outlets and boundaries. David would point out a need boys have and how we as moms could provide a proper outlet for that need. But he also gave great instruction on how to train on boys in regulation, by setting boundaries on where and when those needs can be met. If you are a boymom, get ready to be set free from a lot of guilt over “why your boy does that”. And given some practical ideas to help create places and times in your family’s schedule to let “boys be boys” but not allow that phrase to be an excuse for unkind or inappropriate behavior. If you’re not a boymom, I hope this will still be an entertaining episode to help you understand your husband, nephews, friend’s son. And stay tuned because I’m working with David’s partner Sissy Goff to record a “Raising Girls” episode this fall. (Of course, feel free to share this episode with any boymom friends you have. . .they will thank you!). What we chat about: When and how to let boys rough-house/wrestle How “Stage One boys” (ages 1 to 4 years old) express love with aggression. Providing an outlet and training regulation and respect. How to help our boys who feels things deeply (the ones often labeled as ‘sensitive’). Giving boys ways to process emotions with space and physical outlets. Helping boys hear our directions and respond to us. Taking advantage of how boys are hardwired visually. How to handle when boys talking about private parts, farting, etc. 4 & 14 year old boys and their testosterone surges. Links Mentioned: Brooke McGlothlin (Thank you Brooke for connecting us!) Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys ** Mini Trampoline ** ($25 option) Trampoline with handle bar  ** ($70 option) 5 Practical Actions to Help Boys Behave Birds and the Bees? Oh Help Me Please with Mary Flo Ridley (Ep 25) Raising Boys and Girls **Amazon affiliate link

9 Touko 201658min

Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him. /

2 Touko 201648min

Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him. /

25 Huhti 201645min

Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him. /

18 Huhti 201643min