My Parents Left Me Alone to Forage and Survive on Angeles Mountains

Sarah Hartshorne gives the exposé on what REALLY happened on one of the hottest reality tv shows of its time, America’s Next Top Model. We did a deep dive interview with her, but today we focus in on some of the more disturbing parts of her time on Season 9 including waiving their rights to a camera free shower. Girls had no choice but to be moldable clay when it came to their identity, looks and sometimes their name. Even when a look change was the choice of production, they were sometimes judged and mocked for it later in the show. Identities, self esteem and boundaries crumbled all for the hope of making it to “the top”.Click here to watch on YouTubeWatch her full interview hereFind Sarah!Book: You Wanna Be on Top? A Memoir of Makeovers, Manipulation, and Not Becoming America's Next Top ModelWebsite: https://www.sarahbhartshorne.com/IG: https://www.instagram.com/sarahbhartshorne/Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

3 Joulu 20251h 7min

(CW: Mentions of Eating Disorder) Sarah Hartshorne, a fan favorite America’s Next Top Model contestant pulls back the curtain on the iconic but deeply flawed reality competition show, exposing the manipulation and chaos behind the scenes. Tyra Banks’s America’s Next Top Model was a cultural phenomenon with more than six million weekly viewers at its peak. Over its fifteen-year run, the show captured the glitz of the early aughts as well as its most toxic attitudes—from the glamorous but often questionable photo shoots to the cutting feedback from its highly respected if out-of-touch judges. But as its fans have grown up and as the next generation discovers ANTM, they’ve also begun to reckon with the enduring ways that the show has affected their body image and self-esteem.Sarah Hartshorne would have never guessed that her first foray into modeling would start with being blindfolded alongside three dozen other girls on a charter bus winding through Puerto Rico. Cycle 9’s only plus-size contestant takes us into the heart of the unforgiving auditions; the labyrinthian cruise ship the girls weren’t allowed to enjoy; and, of course, the L.A. “model house” teeming with hidden cameras and elaborately constructed tensions. As the season unfolds and the producers’ interview questions about her weight and her opinions of the other girls become increasingly pointed, Hartshorne uncovers the destabilizing methods employed to film “reality.” Why didn’t the house have a microwave or a dishwasher? Why did girls regularly faint during eliminations? Why is it that the girls had their most meaningful conversations in closets? Sarah Hartshorne dissects the iconic show.Click here to watch on YouTubeFind Sarah!Book: You Wanna Be on Top? A Memoir of Makeovers, Manipulation, and Not Becoming America's Next Top ModelWebsite: https://www.sarahbhartshorne.com/IG: https://www.instagram.com/sarahbhartshorne/Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.*See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

1 Joulu 20251h 35min

CHAPTER MARKS NOT AVAILABLEMandi Pagliarini was thrown into Alcoholics Anonymous as a teen when her parents caught her drinking, and overreacted. She was lured into loving summer boarding camps with cute boys and fun activities, so immediately following high school graduation, the thought of being full time boarded with the group sounded fun and necessary for her health. Unfortunately, a bait and switch quickly happened when she realized that in this particular group, all sponsors and authority lead directly to the man at the top named Mike. He started micromanaging every single aspect of their lives including specific diets, where they went and even, who he thought they should be sleeping with. Young teens were given to 30+ year old men for “their own good” and this included Mike himself who was in his 50s. If compliance was not given, they were berated in front of the whole group. Mandi’s parents were still under the impression that she needed to be there, even though she had nothing close to resembling alcoholism, so she was left feeling alone and afraid of the outside world. After attempting to leave twice, it finally stuck and after drastically overcorrecting, she found her way. Click here to watch on YouTubeFind and Support Mandi!IG @mandiptalkspredators Substack: https://mandiptalkspredators.substack.com/Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

28 Marras 20251h 22min

Today Shelise takes the hot seat to be interviewed by husband and co-producer Jonathan Rosales. A brief discussion about Mormonism and the various shapes it can take in people’s lives gives more context to why Shelise feels it is a cult/high control group. They discuss the light hearted aspects of leaving the cult bubble such as being out of the loop with pop culture. Then, for the first time, Shelise goes into depth about the CSA from her past and how it not only affects her daily life, but her life as a host who platforms other trauma survivors. Other hardships with running the channel while going through intense personal challenges are spoken of in detail which leads them to extreme gratitude for their audience and community who has gathered to support their guests and the cause. Click here to watch on YouTubeSubscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**Chapter Marks00:00:00 Intro00:05:08 Why Shelise feels she's a Cult Survivor, having left Mormonism00:11:22 Does Shelise feel more "connected" to society now that she's more caught up on pop culture?00:18:36 What it feels like for Shelise to be Agnostic00:22:21 Did Shelise ever think she would interview Cult Survivors for a living?00:28:27 How Shelise handles the trauma offload from hosting interviews each week?00:30:59 Shelise discusses the ab*se she experienced from her father00:34:18 What's it been like for Jonathan having to be a container for Shelise00:34:40 Moments Shelise broke down after conducting interviews00:39:52 Does Shelise have a relationship with her father now?00:51:30 Confronting the ab*se from Shelise's father, now that Shelise & Jonathan have a daughter00:54:55 Shelise & Jonathan discuss their m*scarriage01:02:25 Being pregnant while interviewing Cult Survivors01:04:13 Jonathan on producing Cults to Consciousness01:10:28 Did Jonathan feel they would be successful in the beginning?01:13:10 The time Shelise had psychic readings done01:17:35 Jonathan & Shelise on filming their own documentary01:23:23 C2C Officially launches Channel Memberships!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

26 Marras 20251h 25min

Carah Burrell and Ryan Fisher have continued to cover the Tim Ballard scandal since it was leaked two years ago that he had plans to become the new LDS prophet and take over the government through white nationalism. He was using his “connections” with the now deceased apostle Ballard (no relation) to bolster his cause at Operation Underground Railroad, which evidence has now suggested it was all a ruse, including allegedly luring women into SA situations by Tim during their “raids”. The LDS church responded swiftly with an ex-communication, severing his membership and ego. He has since been trying to appeal that decision multiple times, however, simultaneously alleging that the LDS church is full of Satanic Ritual ab*se of children and denouncing leadership. Click here to watch on YouTubeFind and Support Carah and Ryan:Carah's YT: https://www.youtube.com/@CarahBurrellCarah's LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/nuancehoeThe LATEST Video on Tim: https://youtu.be/q3F-lBMaGw4?si=pEkCtD9k_bdGX5lu Original interview on Last Dispensation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knWZW93jvjkJulie Green Rant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yTBLjtbwbADonorbox: https://donorbox.org/thanks-for-the-amazing-content-carah-let-me-help-you-keep-it-fundedVenmo: CarahB: https://account.venmo.com/u/CarahB Patreon exclusives: https://tinyurl.com/3r2jurckLet's get in touch! timmydidwhatpodcast@gmail.com or thenuancehoe@gmail.comRyan's Info!Substack: https://ryanfisherak78.substack.com/IG: https://www.instagram.com/ryanfisherak78/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NephiteExplorerSubscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

24 Marras 20251h 19min

Following our incredible interview with Rosei Quartz, today we go LIVE with her to further discuss her time with her threatening Adventist husband. Rosei was born a Seventh-Day Adventist where her father eventually became a charismatic and highly performative pastor in the church. She attended private Adventist schools and was constantly the center of her father’s fake sermons. Rosei’s mother got chronically ill and was ignored, being told her symptoms were made up for attention. She ended up passing suspiciously and Rosei’s father was married again 4 months later. Rosei ended up in an Adventist marriage which ended up being extremely toxic. Upon asking for a divorce, she was called a witch and even “hexed her husband with COVlD”. He then threatened to disappear her into Adventist conversion therapy if she tried to leave. Escaping and fearing for her life, she frantically grew a social media following in hopes it would protect her.Click here to watch on YouTubeWatch the intiial interview with RoseiFind Rosei on social media:Twitch: twitch.tv/roseiquartzIG: @roseiquartzofficial Discord: https://discord.gg/MZqsvXUZHNTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@roseiquartzSubscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

21 Marras 20251h 16min

NO TIMESTAMPS FOR THIS EPISODERosei Quartz was part of the Seventh Day Adventist church in Canada where her father became a very performative and charismatic Pastor. It never felt authentic to Rosei and things got worse when he started using stories (which were most likely fabricated) about her in his very public sermons. This put an unwelcome target on her back as a chiId that stuck with her throughout her years in the church. When her mother became chronically ill, it was believed that she was either making it up for attention, or just wasn’t being faithful enough to be well. Rosei watched helplessly as her mother withered away before her eyes, even losing her teeth to this unknown cause. What’s worse, her mother suspiciously passed when Rosei was at college and years later she found out through her autopsy that she died of a fentanyl overdose. Lies upon lies built even though an adventist marriage until she finally escaped it all. Click here to watch on YouTubeWatch our LIVE with RoseiFind Rosei on social media:Twitch: twitch.tv/roseiquartzIG: @roseiquartzofficial Discord: https://discord.gg/MZqsvXUZHNTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@roseiquartzSubscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

19 Marras 20251h 32min

As a teenager, devoted to her faith, Carrie Saum felt being born a woman was a punishment. Her mother was a strongly devout Christian woman who implored on Carrie that if she didn’t go to Russia on a teen mission trip, Russians would go to Hell and their blood would be on her hands. These teen trips were mostly run by other young adults who put the kids in ill*gal and morally questionable situations. However, nothing was off the table when it came to showing your devotion to God. In fact, dying a martyr is what Carrie assumed would happen to her. She didn’t realize she had any other choice. Now she is committed to exposing the “Honor Academy” for what it is/was. A way to exploit teens for their time, money and labor, to create an army of unquestioning, obedient adults. Click here to watch on YouTubeFind Carrie on social media:TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@carriesaumIG: https://www.instagram.com/carriesaumSubscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**Chapter Marks00:00:00 Intro00:03:51 Carrie's part in the documentary00:08:15 Carrie's upbringing00:13:53 Acquire the Fire00:20:52 Carrie drops out of college to join the internship program00:28:58 What it was like when Carrie's parents moved out of state00:32:17 Carrie's time in Russia00:42:56 The Honor Academy00:55:36 Columbine00:59:24 ESOAL01:10:09 How the martyr mindset affected Carrie01:19:07 After deconstruction01:21:49 What brings Carrie joy 01:23:24 Linda ListenSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

17 Marras 20251h 26min