382: Should I Move In with My Father-in-Law? | Feedback Friday

Benjamin Hardy (@BenjaminPHardy) has been the number one writer on Medium since 2015, is nearing the completion of his PhD in organizational psychology, and is the author of Willpower Doesn't Work: Discover the Hidden Keys to Success. "If you have to use willpower, it's because you actually haven't made a choice yet." -Benjamin Hardy What We Discuss with Benjamin Hardy: Your personality doesn't shape your behavior; your behavior shapes your personality. If you can't create and control your environment, your environment creates and controls you. What automaticity is and how it frees you up to be mindful of what matters. The four sources of willpower and why willpower doesn't work. Your identity is not fixed: how changing your behavior changes how you evaluate yourself -- and who you are. And much more... Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!  Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!  Full show notes and resources can be found here.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

26 Maalis 20181h 2min

Jordan (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason (@jpdef) are back to banter every week and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday on The Jordan Harbinger Show! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now, let's dive in! On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: When your best friend had a romantic interest in you, you needed time to work on yourself. Now that you have those feelings for her, she's interested in someone else. What to do? You keep dating people who tell you you're someone they would want to marry but not date. What is that supposed to mean? Due to one unfortunate decision, you're broke and your best friend is a millionaire. How do you stop yourself from poisoning a long-term friendship with toxic jealousy or reverse the depressive spiral it's slowly throwing you into? How can you focus on cultivating a more confident vocal tone when conversing in a language not your own? Is it possible to get people interested in something they don't prioritize? Is there room for a relationship with someone who's needy in the life of a true workaholic? What do you do when your new wife says she's not sure she's turned on by you anymore? Recommendation of the Week: Seeing Allred A quick shoutout to Jane Miller and her son Bryce! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger, and check out Jason's (@jpdef) other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. You can also find him on Instagram at JPD. Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!  Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! Full show notes and resources can be found here.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

23 Maalis 201841min

Denise Shull (@DeniseKShull) is a performance architect, ReThink Group founder, and author of Market Mind Games: A Radical Psychology of Investing, Trading and Risk, considered the Rosetta Stone of trading psychology. "The worst decision you make is always from acting out some feeling you usually don't know you have." -Denise Shull What We Discuss with Denise Shull: Why understanding what we feel and why we feel it is a source of power for creating change and spurring transformation. Why the avoidance mechanisms high performers often use to escape the influence of emotion on actions is counterproductive. How feeling negative emotions can help us decode hidden information inside those emotions to help us perform at our best. What we can do to recognize what we're feeling -- especially if we've regulated ourselves to feel nothing in the face of difficult decisions. How a thesaurus can be used to keep us from making mistaken decisions. And much more... Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!  Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! Full show notes and resources can be found here.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

22 Maalis 20181h 2min

Gretchen Rubin (@gretchenrubin) is a former lawyer turned podcaster and best-selling author. Her latest book is The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People's Lives Better, Too). What We Discuss with Gretchen Rubin: We tend toward one of four archetypes based on how we respond to expectations: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. Understanding these tendencies improves the ways we motivate and influence ourselves and others. We explore each tendency and how we can optimize our mental models and self-talk to get ourselves on the right track. We learn how to spot these tendencies in others and ensure we're using the right types of incentives and communication to get the best from those around us. Take the quiz 600,000 others have taken to better understand how these frameworks can galvanize significant and lasting change. And much more... Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!  Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! Full show notes and resources can be found here.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

20 Maalis 20181h 9min

Jordan (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason (@jpdef) are back to banter every week and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday on The Jordan Harbinger Show! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now, let's dive in! On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: You and your childhood friend's relationship has endured many trials. Will it survive the month he's spending on your couch quoting South Park catch phrases? Where's the line where loving what you do for a living crosses over into obsession? How do you make sure your voice doesn't get drowned out in a group conversation? Vocal demonstration: the cork technique. How do you move past the old boss defaming you among colleagues in your small industry's network? What's the best way to handle a friendship with someone who's become hostile and difficult to be around since receiving bad news? How can you get better at striking up first conversations? Recommendation of the Week: Dirty Money Quick shoutouts to Giuliana in South Africa and Maijid in Ghana! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger, and check out Jason's (@jpdef) other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. You can also find him on Instagram at JPD. Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!  Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! Full show notes and resources can be found here.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

16 Maalis 201834min

Tali Sharot (@affectivebrain) is an associate professor of cognitive neuroscience, the founder and director of the Affective Brain Lab at University College London, and author of The Influential Mind: What the Brain Reveals About Our Power to Change Others. What We Discuss with Tali Sharot: When hope is a better motivator than fear -- and vice versa. Facts and figures don't tend to change minds already aligned to a certain opinion -- in fact, they can have a backfire effect that further entrenches people in their beliefs. The four factors that determine whether or not we're likely to change our beliefs. What happens when new evidence doesn't fit our beliefs, but it fits what we want to believe. When trying to persuade, it's better to seed a new belief than to contradict the old one. And much more... Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!  Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! Full show notes and resources can be found here.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

15 Maalis 20181h 7min

Jocko Willink (@jockowillink) is a retired Navy SEAL commander, podcaster, co-author of New York Times Best Seller Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win, and author of Discipline Equals Freedom: Field Manual. His upcoming Marc's Mission: Way of the Warrior Kid (A Novel) will be out soon. What We Discuss with Jocko Willink: Effective leadership values and strategies are the same across all fields and industries -- whether you're a Navy SEAL, an office manager, or a startup entrepreneur. The difference between motivation and discipline. The intersection between leadership and humility. How to create a practice of discipline that will be there when we need it. A good leader isn't necessarily the most skilled person in the room, but he or she knows how to bring out the best in everyone to create a solid team. And much more... Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!  Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! Full show notes and resources can be found here.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

13 Maalis 201849min

Jordan (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason (@jpdef) are back to banter every week and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday on The Jordan Harbinger Show! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now, let’s dive in! On This Week’s Feedback Friday, We Discuss: How do you distinguish between someone complaining or actually seeking feedback and help for their situation? What advice would we give a 20-year-old? Don’t short yourself: overcoming height insecurity isn’t such a tall order. They like your qualifications on paper but balk at your age when you show up to the interview. What should you do next? How does a young IT or cybersecurity professional get his or her foot in the door nowadays? Recommendation of the Week: Derren Brown: The Push Quick shoutouts to lots of fans Jordan met at SMMW #18! Have any questions, comments, or stories you’d like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger, and check out Jason’s (@jpdef) other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. You can also find him on Instagram at JPD. Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!  Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! Full show notes and resources can be found here.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

9 Maalis 201839min