40 - Is Fighting Normal? What Most Couples Get Wrong

40 - Is Fighting Normal? What Most Couples Get Wrong

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Is it normal to fight with someone you love? Absolutely. But how you fight makes all the difference. In this powerful episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs — joined by AI co-hosts Jake and Sarah — explores what healthy conflict actually looks like.

You’ll discover how even difficult arguments can become turning points for connection, growth, and trust when you approach them with the right tools and mindset.

Key Takeaways:

Arguments are normal — and not a sign of failure. Conflict happens in every relationship. The goal isn’t to avoid arguments, but to navigate them respectfully and constructively.

Most fights aren’t about the dishes. Beneath many arguments lies an unmet emotional need — like feeling unheard, unvalued or disconnected.

Use “I” statements to reduce defensiveness. Phrasing like “I feel hurt when...” keeps the focus on your experience and prevents blame from derailing the conversation.

Listen to understand, not to win. By slowing down and really hearing your partner, you create space for empathy, not escalation.

Work together to find solutions. Approach conflict as teammates, not opponents — and look for resolutions that work for both of you.

Repair matters. Apologising, owning your part and reconnecting after a fight builds safety and deepens trust over time.

Links referenced in this episode:

angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger management

angersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Control Your Anger in 7 Days

angersecrets.com/course — Enrol in The Complete Anger Management System

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Jaksot(82)

83 - The Real Reason You Can't Control Your Anger (It's Not What You Think)

83 - The Real Reason You Can't Control Your Anger (It's Not What You Think)

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores the real reason your anger feels uncontrollable, and why the answer is ra...

31 Touko 10min

82 - Why You Keep Yelling at Your Kids (Even When You're Trying Not To)

82 - Why You Keep Yelling at Your Kids (Even When You're Trying Not To)

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs tackles one of the most common and most painful patterns parents face: knowing you...

24 Touko 12min

81 - He Thought He Didn't Have an Anger Problem. His Marriage Told a Different Story.

81 - He Thought He Didn't Have an Anger Problem. His Marriage Told a Different Story.

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs sits down with Matthew, a 32-year-old husband, stepfather and small business owner...

17 Touko 17min

80 - The STOP Method: How to Control Anger Before It Controls You

80 - The STOP Method: How to Control Anger Before It Controls You

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode of the Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs introduces the STOP model: a simple, four-step too...

10 Touko 9min

79 - Why Your Partner Stops Talking to You (And How to Fix It)

79 - Why Your Partner Stops Talking to You (And How to Fix It)

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode of the Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares three concrete steps for communicating more...

3 Touko 10min

78 - Why You Keep Getting Triggered

78 - Why You Keep Getting Triggered

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode of the Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores one of the most important questions in an...

26 Huhti 10min

77 - What Healthy Anger Actually Looks Like

77 - What Healthy Anger Actually Looks Like

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode of the Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs challenges the idea that anger is always the probl...

19 Huhti 9min

76 - The One Thing Happy Couples Do That Others Don't

76 - The One Thing Happy Couples Do That Others Don't

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode of the Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores the single most important factor in wheth...

12 Huhti 10min

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