70: How to Emotionally Detach from Your Ex (Girlfriend / Boyfriend / Partner) in 10 Steps to stop your world from collapsing

If your breakup feels like the end of the world 🌪 If your chest physically aches… If your brain knows it’s over but your body is still begging for one more text… This episode is for you 🖤

I’m walking you through 10 steps to emotionally detach from your ex - in a way that feels safe, slow, and actually doable when you're stuck in the spiral.

Because detachment isn’t about going numb. It’s not about deleting your feelings or pretending you’re over it. It’s about coming back to yourself with softness, safety, and self-trust.

I’ll show you how to:

✨ Stop retraumatizing your nervous system ✨ Grieve not just the person — but the future you imagined ✨ Break the addictive loop of checking their profile or rereading texts ✨ Shift the emotional “hook” that’s keeping you stuck ✨ Replace their role in your body with safety YOU create

And most of all I’ll help you understand why it’s so hard to let go… Especially if you have anxious attachment, abandonment fears, or grew up needing love to feel okay.

Inside the episode, we’ll also explore:

🧠 Why your body still thinks they’re your safe person (even if your mind knows better) 🖤 How to replace those dopamine “hits” with self-regulating rituals 💭 What you’re actually missing (it’s usually not just “them”) 📱 Why muting/blocking isn’t mean it’s medicine 🌱 How to rebuild your identity when you feel like you’ve lost yourself in the relationship

This isn’t just about moving on. It’s about healing the root — so you stop chasing, spiraling, or second-guessing your worth.

Hi, I’m Jula 🖤

I used to feel crushed by breakups. I didn’t know who I was without a relationship. But through deep healing work... I learned how to regulate my nervous system, stop abandoning myself, and become my own safe person.

Now I help others do the same.

If you're ready to stop checking their profile and start rebuilding your sense of self… this episode will walk you there, step by step.

✨ Want more support?

➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤

(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤

(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription

➞ SHOP:

https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop

COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money)

➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse

➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

Grab more FREE resources:

ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach

Like….

• Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ

• Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety

• ✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached

• How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)

CHAPTERS:

00:00 How to Emotionally Detach from Your Ex (Girlfriend / Boyfriend / Partner) in 10 Steps 00:27 What is emotional detachment? 02:17 The 10 Steps to Emotionally Detach from your Ex 02:27 1. Tell the TRUTH: They are not your safe person anymore 04:19 2. Grieve the LOSS - not just the person 05:53 3. Cut the cord - physically, digitally, and emotionally 10:58 4. Shift the HOOK: “What are you actually missing?” 16:41 (How to work with me 1:1 and create security from within YOU) 19:13 5. NAME your core wound - it’s not about THEM 22:24 6. Build micro-trust with your body + break the addiction routine 24:32 7. Rebuild IDENTITY outside of them 27:25 8. Grieve the fantasy - not just the person 29:28 9. Practice REJECTION Reframes 30:59 Bonus Exercise 32:13 10. Visualize your secure self

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.