220. “I carry the baby, the bills, and the stress”

Monica (36) and Michael (33) have been married just over a year and are navigating the pressures of new parenthood—but Monica feels like she’s doing it alone. She pays the rent, covers childcare, and works a demanding job, while Michael juggles three jobs and carries shame about his income and past financial mistakes—including an eviction he never told her about. Despite a recent 50% salary increase, Michael didn’t share the news, reinforcing Monica’s sense that she’s carrying the emotional and financial load. Can Ramit help them rebuild trust, communicate transparently, and step into a true financial partnership? In this episode we uncover: • Michael’s quiet shame about earning less • How an eviction early in their relationship shattered Monica’s trust • The $95K salary increase Michael never told her about • Why Michael’s “Swiss Army knife” mentality is sabotaging their relationship • What Monica really means when she says she wants a financial partner • Why transparency is still a major hurdle • The emotional gap in their relationship, and how it’s showing up in everything from birthday celebrations to debt payoff plans • What finally shifts when Michael shares his debt-free timeline Chapters: (00:00:00) “I feel like a leech” (00:18:28) Ramit breaks down their numbers (00:25:56) “I got a 50% raise…and didn’t tell her” (00:33:24) Why she’s always the last to know about his money (00:42:59) The secret that shattered her trust early on (00:46:26) He paid off half his debt—but still struggles to celebrate it (01:00:03) Torn between faith and financial goals (01:04:38) When earning more still isn’t enough (01:26:25) Are they finally rowing in the same direction? (01:35:17) Where are they now? Monica and Michael’s follow-ups This episode is brought to you by: Fabric by Gerber Life | Join the thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply today in just minutes at https://meetfabric.com/ramit. Masterclass | For unlimited access to every class and 15% off an annual membership, go to https://masterclass.com/ramit Factor | Get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box at https://factormeals.com/ramit50OFF with code RAMIT50OFF Netsuite | Download the free e-book 'Navigating Global Trade: Three Insights for Leaders' at https://netsuite.com/ramit OpenPhone | Get 20% off your first 6 months at https://openphone.com/ramit Links mentioned in this episode • Get tickets for my next live events—September 14 in Atlanta and September 26 in Los Angeles—at iwt.com/events Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.