321. The psychology of run clubs

Daydreaming can be a perfectly normal part of life - zoning out in the shower, before we fall asleep, on the train to work. But some of us cross over into dangerous territory or what we call maladaptive daydreaming where we can't pull ourselves away from the fantasy. We feel disconnected and it makes our real life feel so much less bright and enjoyable. It can cause us a lot of distress and distraction. Why is that? And why can't we stop ourselves? In today's episode, we break down:  What makes daydreaming 'maladaptive' or 'excessive'  What are the signs + the 16 item scale for maladaptive daydreaming The impact on our emotional health  Maladaptive daydreaming and creativity  Maladaptive daydreaming, trauma, anxiety and OCD  Is daydreaming a form of escapism? How to turn daydreaming into intentional visualisation  Thank you to our listeners who contributed their perspective. Happy listening!  The 16 item scale here: https://traumadissociation.com/mds  The Reddit help group: https://www.reddit.com/r/MaladaptiveDreaming/  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com       See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

25 Loka 202441min

Sometimes the loudest critic, our biggest hater is not someone we know, it is ourselves. We are the ones who are the first to judge ourselves, to shut ourselves and our ambitions down, to say the nastiest things. In today's episode we break down why we are our own worst critic, including:  How we learn self criticism in childhood The evolutionary component to criticism  The role of the super ego  The role of comparison  Why no one is really looking at your that closely  How to embrace radical self compassion and acceptance How to use cognitive diffusion, and much more  This episode is a rerun whilst Jemma is recovering from an illness. We will be back on Friday with a brand new episode.  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

22 Loka 202438min

In our 20s it can feel like a mad rush to find the one. If you are single and dating, you know the experience of going on what seems like dozens of dates only to be disappointed and, at the end of the day, exhausted and yet you still haven't found someone. In this episode, we discuss why that is including:  The signs your experiencing dating burnout What dating burnout and traditional burnout have in common The role of swipe based dating apps  Why this occurs and the emotional impact  The psychology of a 'dating detox'  How to have FUN when dating and how to overcome dating burnout  Listen now if nothing seems to be working when it comes too feeling frustrated and exhausted when it comes to dating in your 20s.  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

17 Loka 202435min

At some stage in our 20s, all of us will experience what I call 'The Loneliest Chapter' - a period where we feel detached, disconnected and isolated. Whilst this experience can feel terrible and make us question our relationships, friendships and selves, it's an important rite of passage and actually ends up teaching us a lot. In today's episode we discuss:  What is the 'lonely' chapter of our 20s? My personal journey with loneliness  What are some signs you may be in it, right now?  Why does this occur? What creates this period?  How can we learn to tolerate and enjoy solitude?  What are the benefits of loneliness?  How can we make new friends and feel like we belong?  All of that, and more... Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

14 Loka 202435min

What is the cost of caring too much for others? Always being the person to fix everyone's problems? Never needing anyone, but secretly loving that everyone else relies on you? Well, it turns out it can cost you and your relationships a lot, and may also be a sign of high functioning codependency. High functioning codependency is much more common amongst people who are overachieving, overgiving and who have few boundaries (even if they don't know it).  In today's episode, we are joined by the originator of this term. Terri Cole is a psychotherapist and boundary expert who has been investigating this phenomena for years in her high functioning and highly successful clients. She shares the traits, behaviours, costs and ways to improve your high functioning codependency. This was one of my favourite episodes to date, happy listening! Buy Terri's new book here:  https://www.soundstrue.com/products/too-much?srsltid=AfmBOor1-0MHrQayS-ZdUANvTC5qC-T4e1Bpxotu8cti1CqOVVizKO17  Follow Terri here: @terricole  Terri's resources: https://www.terricole.com/  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

11 Loka 202444min

Shame follows us everywhere. So many of us are bound by shame about our past, our mistakes, our identity, our looks, our decisions and choices. This can make living a meaningful and fulfilling life incredibly difficult when you have your own personal, shame bully following you everywhere. In todays episode we learn:  How shame gets implanted in us The links between shame and trauma  Shame vs. guilt How shame manifests in hidden ways  What a life without shame could look like? How to release shame by communicating with your inner child  How to shut down shame spirals  My own personal story of body shaming  Listen now! I hope this releases you from the heavy burden of shame. Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

8 Loka 202437min

At some stage in our 20s we'll have to make a life changing decision where the right choice is not at all clear: stay or leave my job, the country, my relationships? We can become paralysed in that moment, unable to take a step forward, not realising that doing nothing is, in itself, a decision. In today's episode we break down:  Why we struggle to make hard decisions The paradox of choice  Indecisiveness and a lack of self trust  The 'Wisest Self' thought exercise The 10/10/10 rule for making hard decisions  The role of regret and fear  Listen now if you're struggling with some hard choices in your 20s!  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

4 Loka 202435min

The right person at the wrong time might be one of the saddest kinds of love stories we come across. This person may be perfect for us, our dream partner, but factors like distance, life, obligations, emotional readiness get in the way and mean that we can't be together. Despite knowing we can't be together, we can't let go and pine after this person, wondering what we could have done differently. Or is right person, wrong time, actually just a myth? Is there ever such a thing as the 'wrong time' for our soulmate? In this episode we discuss:  The obstacles that keep people apart The psychology of 'right person, wrong time' The cognitive biases that keep us attached to someone Why we feel more bonded with some people over others  Why 'right person, wrong time' may be a myth  How to get over this person you can't stop thinking about Listen now! Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

30 Syys 202441min