Ask Uncut - My Husband Cheated, Brought Home An STI & Wants Forgiveness

Hey Lifers, Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer all of your deep and burning questions! Britt has some terrible dating advice that includes faking a celebrity interaction.The tide seems to be turning on Raygun. There is more speculation around the ethics of her journey to the Olympics since we recorded on Monday morning.Laura helps Britt learn about her (Ben's) new home in Romania.  Vibes for the week: Laura: Two Doting Dads Book: The Quest For Free Time Keeshia: It Ends With Us Film Britt: Diary of a CEO podcast with Francis Ngannou Then we jump into your questions! AM I UNFULFILLED OR IS THIS NORMAL? I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years. I have kids, he doesn’t. I have always felt like he is my best mate, not necessarily my penguin but at the same time it’s been 5 years we’ve put in the work and my kids now adore him. His best friend moved in with us a year ago. I obviously noticed this man was attractive and I’ve known him for a long time but I was happy and content with my partner and I thought hey it’s normal to just appreciate someone’s good looks.  Until… he messaged me one night. I was at work and he had been drinking. It said  “Hey please don’t repeat what I’m about to tell you.” He goes on to tell me that he finds me irresistible and the reason he chose to take a FIFO (3 on, 1 off) job was because he struggles to be alone with me. He said he thinks about me non stop.  I would be lying if I didn’t say I felt the lust. I went home, slept it off and felt so guilty that I showed my boyfriend the messages. He kind of just said ‘Oh wow he is thinking with the wrong body part’ and has since pretended like it never happened. Now I’m in a tailspin. I dream about this man. He creeps into my mind constantly. He comes home in a week and I’ve tried gently suggesting to my boyfriend that we ask him to move out. Obviously I haven’t told him that I am attracted to his best friend but I just said that it’s a little awkward. My partner just replied that the extra income is helpful and he probably won’t try anything. But what he doesn’t know is that his friend has messaged me since telling me he is sorry, however I am just so beautiful and kind, how I’m the sweetest and he can’t help but think about me. I truly think that I’m just feeling this way because after 5 years and being a full time working mum, I feel invisible to my family so having a man call me irresistible is a thrill. I do not want to go against my morals and destroy someone’s trust over a fling but I also don’t want to tell my partner how I feel. Should I be looking at this as a sign I’m unfulfilled in my relationship and maybe it’s time to move on (not with his friend) or is this just a normal reaction to having an attractive man show me attention and once he has moved out I can just move past this without hurting my boyfriend? DON'T WANT TO WEAR THE BRIDAL OUTFITHow do I tell the bride and groom of a wedding I’m attending later this year that the bridal party outfit they have chosen for me is awful and I don’t want to wear it? Keep in mind they also asked me to pay for it (so now I am out of pocket too). I live in a different state to them, so had to order online without trying the outfit before buying. It is unflattering, does not suit my shape, and I feel so uncomfortable in it. I do not want to wear this in public, let alone in front of a crowd at a wedding. I had suggested early on that if I’m paying for it, could I buy a nice dress in their colours that I’d be likely to wear again. They insisted however they wanted everyone to be ‘uniform’. Do I just have to suck it up, as the day is not about me? (Also, this is a destination wedding so I am already spending thousands on travel and accommodation to attend) I DON'T LIKE HIM DRINKING ALONEMy husband and I had a disagreement and both genuinely could not work out who was in the wrong, so reverting to the brains trust! My husband works shift work, so often has midweek days off or finishes really early on weekdays that I'm working. Sometimes (say once a week) he likes to go to the local pub by himself and have a few beers until I finish work. He usually comes home tipsy on these occasions. I feel uncomfortable about him drinking by himself and coming home tipsy after doing so. I don't have any issue with him drinking with friends or if we have a few drinks together - it's just the by himself aspect (which I think stems from growing up with parents who had issues with alcohol). He gets upset by this and feels like I'm trying to control how he spends his free time. He doesn't think it's unreasonable to do this once a week. I don't have an issue with him doing any activity by himself that doesn't involve alcohol, so don't feel that I'm being controlling. Who is in the wrong?! Am I being unreasonable? We both have had multiple convos about this and both are not sure if each of us are in the wrong. For context, we are in our early 30's and have no kids, just living at home the 2 of us (and otherwise have an amazing relationship)! You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

14 Elo 202452min

Brittany Butler spent nine years as a targeting officer within the CIA's Directorate of Operations, Counterterrorism Center. Brittany has worked both at Langley and in the Middle East and has first-hand knowledge of how the CIA recruits spies and how intelligence organisations discover and apprehend terrorists. In today’s episode we speak about: How Brittany was recruited to the CIA Our perceptions of what someone in the CIA would look and be like vs reality Whether she told her loved ones what her real job was Meeting terrorists and whether Brittany was ever scared How the collaboration between CIA, FBI, secret services and police works Who was ultimately responsible for the security at former president Trump’s assassination attempt What Brittany is and isn’t allowed to speak about from her time in the CIA Is the CIA a boys' club? Honey pot operations and the value that women bring to intelligence organisations Advocacy for women’s rights in the Middle East Writing spy novels from a female perspective and sharing those experiences! See more from Brittany: Brittany's Website Brittany's Tiktok Brittany's Instagram You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

13 Elo 202454min

Hey lifers, Laura is an elite athlete now. She's possibly getting a ticket for indecent exposure but we're focussing on the success of doing 14km with a donkey pram!Britt has done one of the more Britt coded things possible and embarrassed herself again.If you could theoretically find out who the love of your life was going to be and specifically when you would meet them at the age of say 18, would you? Would you like to know?If you had a crystal ball and could see whether you and your current partner were going to be together in 10 years, would you like to know that? Ben has moved to Romania and Britt knows a bit too much about Dracula...Laura has an update on how her conversations with her girls went about their grandfather passing away.The entire world cannot stop talking about Raygun. We unpack where the line between trolling and criticism is, whether the commentary is gendered and whether it's 'good enough' that she 'did her best'.We also take a bit of a dive into her own research in the field and how it seems to contrast her performance at the Olympics. You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xx  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

12 Elo 202459min

It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP. On the show: Chivalrous or weird - Britt got picked up Amy Shark joins the show The renovation poo plot twist Mitch paying it forward Millenials vs Gen Z See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

11 Elo 202437min

Hey Lifers! Welcome back to Ask Uncut where we answer your deep and burning questions!How do you feel about group saunas? Are they good for a bit of a group therapy session or human stew?  Vibes for the week can be found here!Britt: Tom organic period cupKeeshia: The Shocking Effects of 500 Days Without Alcohol - Mark MansonLaura: Koala Suffolk Chair Then we get into your questions! DO I CATCH UP WITH HER OR LEAVE ITI had this girlfriend I’d only known for a short time through work. Early in our friendship, just a couple of months in, she asked me for advice on proposing to her boyfriend. I encouraged her to go for it and a few weeks later I found myself hiding behind a beach umbrella, camera in hand, capturing her proposal. Not long after, she asked me to be her bridesmaid. I was flattered and accepted, although I was a bit surprised given how new our friendship was. Then, the wedding was postponed for a year due to a venue mixup. Life got busy for both of us, but I made an effort to stay in touch, regularly checking in. Her responses were few and far between, until one day out of the blue, she sent me a long text telling me she didn’t want me at the bridal party anymore. She claimed I was the reason we’d drifted apart but said she still wanted me in her life. Yet, when the wedding finally happened, I wasn’t invited at all. A few months after the wedding, she messaged me saying she wanted to catch up. Now, I’m torn: should I take the high road and give her a second chance, or cut ties since she was the one who cut me off first? We still have mutual friends, so it’s likely we’ll run into each other at some point.  NO MORE BABY TALKMy best friend sometimes makes comments when we are out for dinner with our closest girl group like ‘no more baby talk’. It’s a punch in the gut for me. This year my entire life has been consumed with my baby. I was on family leave and just started back up at work now. At this point of my life, all of it revolves around my baby. I feel confused and don’t know who I am any more, I feel like I have nothing else to talk about, and to my friends who I love dearly, I’m boring them. Normally I wouldn’t want to care what people think of me, but her opinion of me really matters. My best friend does want to have kids (but in a few years). I guess my question is, how do I navigate this friendship, since we are both at different stages of our life? How do I navigate the comments? How do I find myself again? I sometimes miss the old me (freedom and time to do things I want to do), but I especially miss the old me when I feel I’m boring my best friends and have nothing else to contribute. Or how do I care less about this? NOT READY FOR MY MUM TO MEET MY NEW BOYFRIENDI’m going away on an overseas holiday with my new boyfriend. We have only been dating for 2-3 months but a holiday is a holiday so why not! My mum is actually going overseas (not with us) at the same time and our flights come in on the same day around the same time. My mum has asked if we can give her a lift home from the airport. It’s only early days in the relationship and a long 2 hr drive home from the airport. This might possibly be the first time she and he meet and I’m not ready for that. I don’t know how to say no without feeling guilty and if I tell her I’m not ready for her to meet him she won’t understand. I know she will take over the car ride home and won’t stop yapping or complaining. I’m feeling so anxious about it already. I’m 35 yrs old if age helps with context.   Keeshia mentioned a great conversation about going sober and alcoholism with Emily Weir & you can listen here   You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

7 Elo 202444min

Zoe Marshall is a lot of things. A podcaster, a content creator, an ex radio host, a mother of 2 and she’s now an advocate for mindset and manifestation. She’s joining us today to talk through why mindset is so important in our lives and the science behind some practices that have been thought of as a bit 'woo woo'. Zoe also speaks about what led her in a different direction from the successful podcast 'the deep' and how we all process and manage trauma.  We speak about: How ‘manifesting’ has been labelled as only for the privileged Finding purpose in less conventional ways Conscious thought and taking action especially in relationships Reticular activation system Shifting mindset from fear to gratitude It’s the feeling, not the ‘thing’ that you actually want You can find everything from Zoe here Zoe’s course "How to Manifest" - use code LIFEUNCUT for 25% off You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

6 Elo 202456min

Hey Lifers! Laura has had a really heart breaking week. Her wonderful step father passed away last Tuesday night and today she shares some of the best bits of who he was as a man. We also have a conversation about living alongside grief and how life is somewhat expected to continue 'as normal' when you're experiencing it. Laura also shares how she's finding it challenging knowing how to explain what has happened to her two young daughters.Britt has tried on her first wedding dress and it brought her (and only her) to tears!The wedding date is closer than any of us expected! We have a bit of a laugh about what styles of dresses we expect Britt to pick. Was the dress you ended up choosing to be married in the 'style' that you expected or was it different?Is it best to publicly call out a cheater? We unpack the growing trend of people using Tiktok to call out what they think is cheating in an effort to out them and find the wronged partner to let them know. Is it always better to ‘expose’ them? Or do you think that is more humiliating for the person who has been cheated on?Is publicly calling out a cheater justified, or does it cause more harm than good? We mention an episode with a polyamorous family that we absolutely loved! You can listen here You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

5 Elo 202450min

Hey Lifers! Producer Keeshia is filling in today and Britt is curious about her chewing gum and toilet choice habits. Britt has had a very serious emergency that could have had a very dire outcome. This story isn't for a laugh but more a word of warning!Vibes for the week can be found on our websiteBritt: Keeshia: Modern Wisdom - How to stop feeling like your success is never enoughand Apple airpod max headphones Then we jump into your questions! IS HE LYING TO ME?A few years ago when I was around 7 months pregnant I noticed a condom missing from the pack. The only reason I noticed this was because we don’t use condoms and only had them because we were going through fertility treatment and advised to use them prior to egg collection and embryo transfer. I confronted my husband about it and he said he likes to wear them when he ‘relieves’ himself because he likes the feeling of it. Fast forward to now and we have been trying for a second baby for almost 9 months. We have embryos frozen so have decided to go through fertility treatment again. Again, we have been advised to use condoms to avoid multiples etc. My husband hasn’t used any of ours since then, or told me that he’s brought more. For the past few months he has been working away a few nights a week and staying at a friend’s house while he’s away (this friend is married with kids). The other day our 2 year old was going through his bag. He opened a zip and pulled out 2 condoms saying ‘daddy biscuits’. A few hours passed and a comment was made and we ended up talking about it. He told me again he liked the feeling of it and that I have nothing to worry about. My sex drive has been very low the last few months trying for a baby again and sex feels like a chore. He doesn’t want to push me or put any pressure on so finds the need to ‘relieve’ himself which is totally fine. I explained to him why it seemed suss and he understood where I was coming from and said he never even saw it that way. Now the question is - I don’t know if this a red flag and he’s lying to me or is this a legit thing and I should just trust him? We are about to have another embryo transfer and I’m just all over the place with my emotions and how I feel about this. I don’t have actual proof he’s done anything wrong or cheated and I don’t have reason to not trust him. AM I A BAD FRIEND?I’ve got a friend who seems to chase chaos in relationships. She is clearly the reason her last wonderful relationship didn’t work out, and since then she has dated multiple toxic guys back to back, and says she loves red flags - as if it’s funny, until it’s not funny anymore. She also never takes any accountability for her bad behaviour. I wish I didn’t get so invested and didn’t care what she did with relationships but it’s put me off our friendship. She’s never done anything bad to me but I find myself with the ick and not wanting to hang out with her because I can’t possibly listen to one more of these chaotic and red flag guy stories. Am I being a bad friend? NOT BUDGETING FAIRLYMy family is going on a big holiday for a whole week. I’m talking about my sisters, their husbands and their kids + my parents and me (I’m single). One of my sisters has been the arranger of the whole trip. It was her idea so she has booked and budgeted everything and explained how much everything is costing and how it’s getting split. Now it’s coming to the crushing time of paying everything and getting close to us all going but I’m starting to feel as if things haven’t been fairly budgeted. What’s your perspective? We are 3 sisters helping pay toward ours and our parents' holiday however 2 of us have partners also contributing to the 1/3 expected on each of our behalf and then there is me who has to support the whole 1/3 on my own. Is this just the way the cookie crumbles or should this actually be split by 5 to include my sister's husbands? You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

31 Heinä 202445min