127. Codependency in Dating with Vanessa Bennett

Coming up on this episode of Flirtations, we’re going into the world of codependency with Vanessa Bennett!

Vanessa is a licensed marriage and family therapist, a sought-after speaker, co-host of the hit podcast Cheaper Than Therapy, and author of the new book The Motherhood Myth. Her work shines a light on how generational trauma, societal expectations, and personal experiences shape the ways we show up in relationships.

We’ll get into the origins of codependence and the different ways it shows up, and how we can identify patterns of control, validation-seeking, and over-functioning (hi people pleasing!), and move toward interdependence, self-trust, and authentic connection.

In our conversation, we explore how codependency is rooted in a fear and can feel as gripping as addiction. You’ll hear about the link between attachment styles and codependent behaviors, as we break down the difference between healthy attachment vs. emotional dependence, sharing tools you can use to build relationships that feel supportive - without losing yourself.

So, whether you’ve dated from this place of feeling responsible for everyone else’s emotions, or found it hard to let go of someone even though you knew they weren’t good for you, this episode offers both clarity and a path toward healing.

Let’s get into it Flirties, and meet Vanessa!

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About our guest: Vanessa Bennett, LMFT, is licensed depth psychotherapist, author, and facilitator devoted to the lifelong work of coming home to the Self. In her words: “My approach blends depth psychology, archetypal wisdom, and embodied healing—but it’s also no-nonsense, rooted in lived experience, and grounded in truth. I believe healing isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about remembering who you were before the world told you to be small.”

Vanessa leads immersive healing retreats, workshops, and custom curriculum-based programs for nonprofits and corporations and founded the Inner Compass Academy, where she trains and supervise coaches and therapists to integrate depth and embodiment into their work.

Her newest book, The Motherhood Myth, explores how patriarchy, capitalism, and generational trauma have shaped our narratives around parenting, partnership, and identity, and how we begin the process of coming home to ourselves.

You can follow Vanessa on Instagram and learn more about her work on www.vanessabennet.com.

About your host: Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy - with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!

As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the Flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage.

Ultimately, this practice of connection helps flirters and daters alike create stronger relationships, transcend limiting beliefs, and develop an unwavering love for the self.

His work has been featured in Fortune, NBC News, The Huffington Post, Men's Health, and Yoga Journal.

You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, watch on YouTube, and stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.