1198: Caroline Fleck | Harnessing Validation to Deepen Human Connection

Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) joins us for this deep dive into why the impulse for blaming other people is a phenomenon familiar to most of us, and how we can curb it in ourselves without defaulting to always taking the fall when it’s undeserved. What We Discuss with Gabriel Mizrahi: Why the externalization of blaming other people when you're at fault robs you of being truly in control of your own life. Why the internalization of blaming yourself when you're not at fault is just as toxic as externalization. How you can use the Accountability Spectrum to find an appropriate balance between externalization and internalization. What true accountability requires of you and what it gives you in return. The best antidote to blaming. And much more... Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course! The Art of Manliness Podcast is a podcast that aims to help men become better men; host Brett McKay explores how to live a life of both contemplation and action while having some fun along the way. Do yourself a favor and check out The Art of Manliness Podcast here! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! Full show notes and resources can be found here.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

4 Huhti 201957min

Zvi Band (@skeevis) is the founder and CEO of Contactually, and author of the upcoming Success Is in Your Sphere: Leverage the Power of Relationships to Achieve Your Business Goals. What We Discuss with Zvi Band: Why your network isn't just some intangible asset you tend at your convenience -- it's a crucial resource you neglect at your peril. Why a network is the best way to increase your luck surface area -- the number of chances you have to get lucky when things aren't going your way. How and why relationships decay -- especially in this day and age when we're ostensibly connected to everyone we know on social media. How to prioritize your relationships -- not merely organize them. How you can easily add value to your network and relationships -- even if you've convinced yourself you've got nothing to offer. And much more... Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! Full show notes and resources can be found here.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

2 Huhti 201957min

Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now, let's dive in! On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: What can you do when your parents are hoarders with health issues who get enraged when you try to help them? Your calmness under stress seems like a positive trait in a medical professional. But are your peers right to call you disinterested? When you dislike idle chit chat, how do you respond to the small talk question "How's business?" without being uncivil? Is becoming a police officer because you want to help people a good idea for someone who's never really dealt with trauma, or could you be throwing yourself in the deep end? How might an over-55 sales professional re-entering the job market go about starting a consulting career? Jake from Intuit stops by to help us cope with financial crises around tax time. How do you beat feeling envious of others who maintain the discipline to see their self-improvements through? When you're serious about networking, should you regularly cull connections on LinkedIn with people you don't really know? Life Pro Tip (via Mark Frauenfelder's Recomendo Newsletter): For Starbucks people traveling. When you're leaving a foreign country and still have some of the local currency, take it to a Starbucks and load it onto a gift card. You can use the card later in the UK, USA, Canada, Australia, Mexico, and the Republic of Ireland. Recommendations of the Week: The Dropout Podcast, The Dropout on 20/20, and The Inventor: Out for Blood in Silicon Valley Quick shoutouts to Benjamin Torrero in Mexico City, Ankie Hille Hagen in Norway, and Officer Tim De La Pena! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, and check out his other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

29 Maalis 201958min

Michelle Tillis Lederman (@mtlederman) is a former finance executive, NYU professor, and author of The 11 Laws of Likability and The Connector's Advantage: 7 Mindsets to Grow Your Influence and Impact. What We Discuss with Michelle Tillis Lederman: Understanding where you fall on the connector spectrum when it comes to developing relationships and building a network. How to increase your own self-trust to recognize what you do well and bring it to the surface where it can be useful. How to make strong connections and effectively manage your network even if you're an introvert. How to magnify the power of connection you're probably already leveraging in your personal life if you're an extrovert. The seven mindsets of a connector who can make things happen faster, easier, and better. And much more... Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! One's a comedian, one's a radio/TV host. Together they bring you The SDR Show -- a no-apologies, not politically correct, not for the faint of heart show that somehow blends the classic energy of a morning radio show into the new era of digital entertainment. Listen to The SDR Show here or where your ears enjoy podcasts most! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! Full show notes and resources can be found here.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

28 Maalis 201957min

Beau Lotto (@beaulotto) is a world-renowned neuroscientist who specializes in the biology and psychology of perception. He is the author of Deviate: The Science of Seeing Differently. What We Discuss with Beau Lotto: Why our brains evolved to experience the world differently from reality. What Beau means when he says: "Choose your delusion or it will choose you."  How our experiences literally change our physical makeup. Why the more complex your environment is, the more complex your brain will be. How our assumptions control our perceptions and what we can do to break free from assumptions that don't serve us. And much more... Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! Full show notes and resources can be found here.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

26 Maalis 20191h 1min

Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now, let's dive in! On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Is it wrong to be mad at your recently widowed parent for proposing to a rebound fling just six months after the funeral? You're sick of picking up the slack for your 70-year-old coworker who chooses not to retire. What should you do? How do you rebuild your business when your last 10 years has suddenly pulled out from under you? We might have some advice. As a job seeker, when is the right time to disclose that you have regular medical needs that require creative scheduling? We've talked about the wrong reasons to move, but what are some of the right reasons? When do the pros outweigh the cons? How do you shake the feeling of playing second fiddle when you're pretty sure you're the ugly friend in a two-person dynamic? You seem to be the only one in your neighborhood concerned about environmental apocalypse. How do you lead by example without blowing a gasket? What meaningful gifts can you get for mentors -- or anyone else for that matter -- who already seem to have everything they need? Life Pro Tip: When responding to advice, say "You're right" instead of "I know." It shows that you're actually listening to someone, that you care about what they say, and give them credit for trying to help. Recommendation of the Week: Leaving Neverland Quick shoutouts to people Jordan met at Podfest and SXSW! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, and check out his other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! World-renowned criminal defense lawyer Mark Geragos reveals the latest in our nation's most high-profile legal cases with podcast king Adam Carolla on PodcastOne's Reasonable Doubt. Check it out here! Like...See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

22 Maalis 201951min

Brian Scudamore (@BrianScudamore) pioneered the industry of professional junk removal with 1-800-GOT-JUNK? at age 18, scaled that success into three more home-service brands, and is the author of WTF?! (Willing to Fail): How Failure Can Be Your Key to Success. What We Discuss with Brian Scudamore: How Brian turned a trash removal business that began with a $700 investment into an international, multimillion dollar service franchise. The $29 gimmick Brian used to prove to his franchise partners they didn't need to spend big bucks on traditional marketing tactics to get their small business known. Why high school dropout Brian didn't sell his business and retire in his 20s -- even when competitors offered him millions of dollars. Brian's WTF (willing to fail) philosophy that has allowed him to harness the smaller failures along the way to avoid ultimate catastrophe in the long run (with examples). Practical exercises you can use -- for entrepreneurship as well as personal enrichment -- to similarly WTF your way forward. And much more... Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! Full show notes and resources can be found here.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

21 Maalis 201956min

A.J. Jacobs (@ajjacobs) is a journalist, lecturer, human guinea pig, and best-selling author; his latest book is Thanks a Thousand: A Gratitude Journey. What We Discuss with A.J. Jacobs: What's the difference between true gratitude and positive thinking? How acknowledging the role of luck in our lives allows us to have compassion for and empathize with others. The lifelong lessons that stick with A.J. long after the conclusion of his unique experiments. Why gratitude leads to happiness -- not the other way around. If possible, why you might consider thanking your parents on your birthday. And much more... Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! Full show notes and resources can be found here.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

19 Maalis 20191h 21min