324. Why do we hold grudges?

324. Why do we hold grudges?

Why do some things sit heavy in our chest for weeks, months, even years - while others seem to slide right off? In today’s episode, we’re unpacking the psychology of resentment, exploring why letting go can feel so hard, and what our grudges might actually be trying to tell us about ourselves. Grudges are often dismissed as petty or immature, but they’re rarely that simple. They’re emotional archives - stories we keep retelling in our minds, not just to stay angry, but to make sense of hurt, to assert boundaries, or to reclaim a sense of control. Whether it’s a betrayal from years ago or a passive-aggressive comment from last week, the feelings linger for a reason.

We explore:

• The psychological function of holding a grudge
• How rumination and memory shape emotional pain
• The role of power, justice, and unmet needs in long-term resentment
• How resentment harms us more than them
• Why forgiveness isn’t the same as forgetting
• Tools for emotional processing and (maybe) letting go

If you want to get curious about what your lingering anger is pointing to, this episode is for you.

Listen to my NEW PODCAST, Mantra: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ckds0BoJDDpODInN9cWcc?si=b6ad5d555c1940e0

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com

The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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27. Is social media corrupting your brain?

27. Is social media corrupting your brain?

This week we discuss the psychology of social media: how it controls our behaviours, social comparison and the what makes tiktok so addictive.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

30 Maalis 202239min

26. People pleasing - how to say NO!

26. People pleasing - how to say NO!

This week we discuss people pleasing: what it is, where it comes from and some interesting links to trauma and gender. We also discuss some strategies for learning how to say no and putting yourself f...

23 Maalis 202225min

25. Conquering failure in your 20’s

25. Conquering failure in your 20’s

What does psychology have to say about our fear of failure and how can we change our mindset to one that embraces the mistakes we are inevitably going to make? This week we discuss failure of many sor...

10 Maalis 202225min

23. Toxic Relationships - Our Experiences ft. Claudia Grenfell-Uijalnd

23. Toxic Relationships - Our Experiences ft. Claudia Grenfell-Uijalnd

In this episode I bring on Claudia as we discuss our experiences in toxic relationships in our 20’s. This is part one of a two part episode.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

26 Helmi 202243min

22. What are we fighting for - The Psychology of Conflict

22. What are we fighting for - The Psychology of Conflict

Why do we fight and how can we resolve conflict in a healthy manner? We’re talking about interpersonal conflict today and answering some of the big questions around fighting with those we love.See omn...

13 Helmi 202230min

21. Catastrophic thinking - When the worst case scenario happens

21. Catastrophic thinking - When the worst case scenario happens

What happens when the worst case scenario happens? Whilst that rarely happens, today we break down catastrophic thinking and why we always expect the worst case scenario.See omnystudio.com/listener fo...

5 Helmi 202227min

19. The Psychology of Forgiveness

19. The Psychology of Forgiveness

We start our new year off RIGHT with a view into what psychology has to say about forgiveness and why it is the life changing philosophy we need in our 20’s. We discuss skills, strategies, set backs a...

31 Joulu 202130min

18. The Psychology of Big Life Changes

18. The Psychology of Big Life Changes

The psychology of the big life changes that we all experience in our 20’s: moving cities, graduations and job changes, it’s that time of the year. But where does the anxiety of big life changes come f...

14 Joulu 202128min

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