Can You Sell Happiness, Peace & Purpose If People Really Do Not Want It

That statement I would have not uttered in my past. I don’t align with blaming, accusing, making excuses, and giving any power to anyone but myself. But, I’m changing my tune, thanks to my guest today. If someone runs a red light and smashes into my car, breaking my leg, I am ok to blame them for my broken leg. And admitting I now have a broken leg and can’t go run the next day. It would be dumb to blame myself or to deny the car wreck and sit around perplexed as to why my leg is broken, or blame myself for what…driving through a green light? Recognizing what happened helps me keep myself sane. Then of course, the event is over. I have a broken leg. I was in a car crash. It’s solely up to me to deal with it. To try and heal the leg. To work through the wreck so I don’t have PTSD with driving. My expert guest on this issue is Mariel Buqué. Mariel is a PhD and a Columbia University–trained trauma-informed psychologist, and professor. She has appeared as an expert on Good Morning America and Today and many other outlets, and has offered wellness talks to corporations such as Google, Capital One, and Meta. She is originally from the Dominican Republic and currently lives in New Jersey. I caught up with her recently while she was in Trinidad, to talk about the message in her new book, Break the Cycle: A Guide to Healing Intergenerational Trauma. I feel this message is important and very useful for us all, because we all have things that happened to our ancestors that affect us.  Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Join millions of Americans reaching their financial goals—starting at just $3/month! Get $25 towards your first stock purchase at get.stash.com/DRIVE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

24 Helmi 20251h 23min

As a culture, especially amongst aspiring people, we look at willpower like it’s a tool. Like a hammer. It’s late in the evening, you have a hankering for a snack, so just go get your hammer. Willpower. And smack that desire down. But how often can we not seem to find the hammer when we need it most? There is a reason. Your willpower is not a hammer. It’s more like your phone and all day the battery is draining. So often when you go to use it, you’ve fully depleted it. So what do you do? That’s why I’m bringing back one of the shows I refer to so, so often. Ben Hardy wrote his first book, Why Willpower Doesn’t Work, and it became a classic. I’ve had him on my show 4 or 5 times and he’s the lead story in my book, What Drives You. Ben has a PhD in organizational psychology and has written many bestselling books at this point. I’m a fan, as I feel he gets to root issues of problems we all experience. The following conversation will forever change how you view your willpower, and it will equip you to better save your willpower, and construct your environment so you don’t even have to rely on it. Find Ben anywhere at BenjaminHardy. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Join millions of Americans reaching their financial goals—starting at just $3/month! Get $25 towards your first stock purchase at get.stash.com/DRIVE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

21 Helmi 202559min

My most recent show was with heavy metal front man, Randy Blythe, who started his music career in the punk rock movement, rebelling against the system. In his new book,  Just Beyond the Light: Making Peace with the Wars Inside Our Head, he talks candidly and humbly about how he now regrets his polarized positions, and today questions his positions rigorously, with a lot more grace for all sides. It’s impacted me to have a guy who so raged against the machine, now have such a new perspective. And has me thinking about all of us. How wrapped up are we against the culture and all the “stupid” and evil people. Is this stance helping us? Is it even true and valid? I question it. Maybe you do too. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Join millions of Americans reaching their financial goals—starting at just $3/month! Get $25 towards your first stock purchase at get.stash.com/DRIVE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

19 Helmi 202518min

Randy Blythe is the lead singer and songwriter for the heavy metal band, Lamb of God. He writes and sings, you might call it yelling...even growling, very angry, aggressive, and dark music. He has the sordid past you would expect. Severe alcoholism. Jail time for manslaughter charges. You might be surprised, or not, that he's the son of a Southern Baptist pastor. And Randy has just written his second book, called Just Beyond the Light: Making Peace with the Wars Inside Our Head. I was sent an advanced copy of the book and I found Randy to be an incredibly introspective, insightful and intellectually sober individual who I resonated with significantly. His music career started in punk rock and was very political and rebelling against society. Today however, Randy readily admits the one-sided judgement of it all. He says, “If something is worth believing in…a political, religious or humanitarian position…surely it should withstand rigorous examination from a rational, educated observer with critical thinking.” He goes on to say, “If you are unwilling to question your own beliefs and just accept them at face value…you are driven by fear." He shares that he finally realized, "his own head was lying to him" and the war inside his head and the incessant conflict was just his daily, constantly shifting perception of reality. I feel this is the war in all of our heads, and it’s where my primary interest as of late is. Following is my conversation with Randy to dig into his experience and discuss our shared views on perception and reality. I found Randy incredibly thoughtful and humble, and am going to join him in Denver in a couple weeks during his national Spoken Word tour to get to know each other more. You can check out his book, Just Beyond the Light, and find him by searching for Randy Blythe. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Join millions of Americans reaching their financial goals—starting at just $3/month! Get $25 towards your first stock purchase at get.stash.com/DRIVE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Helmi 20251h 20min

I adore music. It moves me like few other things in existence. There was a time when my family and I watched America’s Got Talent, and it was the breakout singers that we most enjoyed. You may remember Mandy Harvey. Mandy was in college pursuing a vocal music education degree, then lost her hearing. She left the program to pursue other career options, but later returned to music. She ultimately landed on America’s Got Talent where she reached the finals and was Simon Cowell’s Golden Buzzer Winner. From there, CNN showcased Mandy on their Great Big Story and captured over 10 million hits on social media, Burt’s Bees signed her up for their “Remarkable Women” campaign, NBC Nightly News profiled her, and she went on to perform at the world’s most prestigious clubs, concert stages and festivals. Mandy then wrote a book titled, Sensing The Rhythm, Finding My Voice In a World Without Sound. The book landed on my desk and in it I found a message of helping others to realize their dreams and pursue their hopes, no matter what. I invited Mandy onto my show and following I bring back an incredibly inspiring conversation about pursuing your dreams, in spite of seemingly insurmountable obstacles, like being a singer…who goes deaf. Find her anywhere, just type in Mandy Harvey. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Join millions of Americans reaching their financial goals—starting at just $3/month! Get $25 towards your first stock purchase at get.stash.com/DRIVE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

14 Helmi 202548min

Wrapping up my series on binary thinking and our cultural propensity and judge and reject others with differing perspectives, I am interested in this concept of moral outrage. In my recent discussion with Fox TV personality Kat Timp, she stated that “Moral outrage is often rooted in self-esteem more than altruism.” I intrigued myself with the statement and went and researched it further. What I found gave a lot of support to the statement and got me thinking about myself and some of the hardlines I’ve taken against people and issues. I’ll share what I found. Kat Timpf’s new book on this topic is, I Used To Like You Until…:How Binary Thinking Divides Us. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Join millions of Americans reaching their financial goals—starting at just $3/month! Get $25 towards your first stock purchase at get.stash.com/DRIVE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

13 Helmi 202513min

I feel if an alien came to earth today and looked at media, whether the news headlines or social media, they’d think we must be near war. Now, with the literal news media who is paid to get readers, they know the value of drama, and if it bleeds, it leads. But with social media, most of what I see we are just inflicting upon ourselves. Somebody makes a benign post that may showcase a like or dislike or a viewpoint or opinion, and…the fight is on. The comments sections can turn into war zones. I try not to read them, as I just depress myself with the unnecessary and unwarranted conflict. But I feel like most all the conflict is people raising their hand to let us all know, “Hey, I’m wildly insecure and need to try and elevate my lacking self image by vehemently arguing how wrong you are if you put pineapple on your pizza.” What I find speaks confidence most is, curiosity. Let’s talk about it. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Join millions of Americans reaching their financial goals—starting at just $3/month! Get $25 towards your first stock purchase at get.stash.com/DRIVE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

12 Helmi 202511min

In my previous episode I talked with Fox TV personality, Kat Timpf about binary thinking. Right, wrong, black, and white. And our cultural propensity to take a differing opinion or view or belief someone else has, judge them completely for it, and reject them. Kat experiences this frequently when people find out she works for Fox. They label and judge her and distance themselves. Even though they could possibly agree on many other things. They may even in truth, like her. But since she’s labeled with the Fox emblem, they reject her. The thing is, I understand this. I’ve long struggled with the concept of grace. I get the idea, but giving someone grace for doing or representing something I feel may be harming them or someone else, feels really hard. I fear if I am gracious, it will seem like I am ok with what or who they are, and I may not be. So how do you address this? Let’s talk for a minute. Kat Timpf’s new book on this topic is I Used To Like You Until…:How Binary Thinking Divides Us. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Join millions of Americans reaching their financial goals—starting at just $3/month! Get $25 towards your first stock purchase at get.stash.com/DRIVE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

11 Helmi 202512min