#123 Disorganized Attachment – The Push-Pull Chaos

#123 Disorganized Attachment – The Push-Pull Chaos



Do you ever find yourself craving closeness one moment and pulling away the next? You’re not alone. In this episode, we’re diving deep into disorganized attachment — a pattern of connection rooted in the paradox of both desiring and fearing intimacy.

You’ll learn:

  • What disorganized attachment is and how it develops

  • The emotional, behavioral, and physiological signs to look for

  • Why betrayal trauma can activate this attachment style in adult relationships

  • The nervous system loop that drives the push–pull dynamic

  • Practical tools to build secure self-attachment first — and then healthier, safer relational attachment

We’ll explore simple yet powerful ways to:

  • Name and interrupt old patterns in the moment

  • Regulate your body before responding

  • Offer yourself the safety and comfort you long for from others

  • Communicate needs clearly instead of testing

  • Repair after conflict and slowly rebuild trust in vulnerability

Whether you’ve experienced betrayal trauma, childhood relational wounds, or simply want to understand your own patterns more deeply, this conversation will help you start moving from fear and confusion toward connection and security.

Thank you for tuning in!

Courage to Thrive Intensive – October 14-17, 2025 | Spanish Fork, UT

Are you ready to begin healing from betrayal and reclaim your life? Join us for the Courage to Thrive Intensive, a transformative four-day experience designed to help women process trauma, set healthy boundaries, and rebuild trust in themselves and their relationships. Through a mix of somatic healing, practical tools, group support, and expert guidance, you’ll gain clarity, release what’s holding you back, and step into a life of hope, strength, and purpose.

Whether you’re just starting your healing journey or looking to deepen it, this intensive provides a safe and nurturing space to connect, grow, and thrive. Reach out to the Choose Recovery Services office by calling or texting (702) 277-9145. Or email them at info@chooserecoveryservices.com for more information.

We’re here to support couples healing from infidelity and betrayal, offering encouragement, practical skills, and expertise each week. As certified relational recovery coaches, we are passionate about guiding you toward hope, empathy, and lasting healing.

Stay connected with us and access all the resources we offer—coaching sessions, groups, and more—by visiting this link.

Your Hosts:

Hali RoderickCertified Relational Recovery CoachTICC, ACC, APSATS CPC, ERCEM-C, Brainspotting Practitioner

Read Hali’s Bio

Stephanie HambyCertified Relational Recovery CoachMCLC, ACC, APSATS CPC, ERCEM-CRead Stephanie’s Bio


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#177 One Hour a Week Was Never Going to Be Enough

#177 One Hour a Week Was Never Going to Be Enough

If you're a woman and you’re doing the work — therapy, coaching, reading everything you can get your hands on — and you're still white-knuckling it alone most days of the week, this episode is for you...

17 Syys 11min

#176 The Fight Under the Fight — Decoding What Betrayal Trauma Does to Your Everyday Arguments

#176 The Fight Under the Fight — Decoding What Betrayal Trauma Does to Your Everyday Arguments

If you're rebuilding trust after infidelity, you've probably noticed something strange: small disagreements can escalate way faster and way bigger than the topic seems to deserve. A dish in the sink. ...

10 Syys 14min

#175 The Separation Plan Guide: Navigating Time Apart After Betrayal Trauma with Shawna Meek, PCC, CPC-S

#175 The Separation Plan Guide: Navigating Time Apart After Betrayal Trauma with Shawna Meek, PCC, CPC-S

"Separation" doesn't have to mean divorce. In this episode, I'm joined by Shawna Meek of Living Stones Coaching to talk about the therapeutic separation — a structured, intentional time apart designed...

3 Syys 43min

***BONUS Choosing Different Mini Series: What I Wish I'd Done Differently with my daughters, Mataia and Morgan

***BONUS Choosing Different Mini Series: What I Wish I'd Done Differently with my daughters, Mataia and Morgan

In this episode of the Choosing Different mini-series, Hali is joined by her daughters, Mataia and Morgan, for an honest conversation about betrayal trauma's impact on the whole family — not just the ...

29 Elo 29min

#174 It's Not Too Late: Healing an Affair You Thought Was Behind You

#174 It's Not Too Late: Healing an Affair You Thought Was Behind You

If the betrayal in your relationship happened years ago — and life moved forward, but the deepest layers of healing never actually happened — this episode is for you.Maybe the resources weren't availa...

27 Elo 14min

#173 Betrayed Men: Why Their Trauma Looks Different — and What Actually Helps with Dr. Laney Knowlton

#173 Betrayed Men: Why Their Trauma Looks Different — and What Actually Helps with Dr. Laney Knowlton

When we talk about betrayal trauma, the picture most people carry is of a betrayed woman. But men experience betrayal too — and their pain often goes unseen, misread as anger, or dismissed entirely. I...

20 Elo 44min

#172 Why the Right Words Aren't Enough: Embodied Empathy in Betrayal Recovery

#172 Why the Right Words Aren't Enough: Embodied Empathy in Betrayal Recovery

You can say all the right words and still leave your partner feeling completely unsafe.If you're the partner who caused harm, that may be the most frustrating thing you've encountered in recovery — yo...

13 Elo 27min

*** BONUS Choosing Different Mini Series: Three Words Every Parent Owes Their Child: "I Believe You" 

*** BONUS Choosing Different Mini Series: Three Words Every Parent Owes Their Child: "I Believe You" 

What happens when a child no longer has to convince their parent that their pain was real?In this episode of Choosing Different Mini Series, Hali sits down with her daughter, Morgan Ellsworth, for a s...

8 Elo 20min

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