Anger Management: Practical Tools to Control Anger7 Syys 2025

45 - The Four Habits That Quietly Destroy Relationships

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Some relationships crumble not because of one big fight—but because of small, damaging habits repeated over time.

In this episode of The Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores the Four Horsemen of relationship breakdown—criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling—and more importantly, how to replace them with healthier, more constructive behaviors.

If you're ready to protect and strengthen your connection, this episode is your roadmap.

Key Takeaways:

Criticism chips away at connection: Focus on expressing your needs with “I” statements instead of blaming or attacking your partner’s character.

Contempt is the most toxic dynamic: Sarcasm, eye-rolling and superiority destroy respect. The antidote is appreciation—notice and name what your partner does well.

Defensiveness blocks growth: Instead of explaining or blaming back, try taking responsibility, even for a small part of the problem.

Stonewalling shuts down the relationship: If you're overwhelmed, pause to self-soothe—but always come back to the conversation.

Every pattern can be changed: With awareness, practice and the right tools, you can shift from conflict to connection—and build a relationship that lasts.

Links referenced in this episode:

angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger management

angersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Control Your Anger in 7 Days

angersecrets.com/course — Enrol in The Complete Anger Management System

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93 - The Real Reason You Keep Having the Same Argument Again and Again

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Why do the same arguments keep happening over and over again?Whether it's your partner, your children, a colleague or even a s...

9 Elo 10min

92 - What to Say When Your Partner Is Upset (And Why Nothing You Say Seems to Help)

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Your partner is upset. You want to help. But somehow, everything you say seems to make things worse.The problem usually isn't ...

2 Elo 12min

91 - How to Control Anger: The Real Reason You Keep Losing Control

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.If you've ever promised yourself that this time would be different - only to find yourself losing your temper again a few week...

26 Heinä 10min

90 - You've Grown Apart: Here’s How to Close the Distance

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.You've grown apart, but that doesn't mean your relationship is over.Many couples still love each other deeply, yet find themse...

19 Heinä 11min

89 - You Can Feel Your Anger Building: Here's What to Do Next

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.You can feel your anger building. Your jaw tightens. Your thoughts get sharper. You know where it's heading, but you don't kno...

12 Heinä 11min

88 - Online Anger Management vs Face-to-Face Programs (From Someone Who's Run 2,000+ Sessions)

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Online anger management or face-to-face programs. Which one actually works better?After running more than 2,000 face-to-face a...

5 Heinä 9min

87 - Why You're Still Losing It - Even After Trying Everything

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.If your anger keeps coming back no matter how hard you try to control it, the problem may not be your effort. It may be the mi...

28 Kesä 14min

86 - How to Tell If You Have Anger Issue

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through seven signs that anger may be causing real problems in your life. Wh...

21 Kesä 10min