Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship9 Syys 2025

#163 - Shame and Friendship: What We Hide, What We Share (with Melissa Petro)

What happens when we carry shame into our friendships? How does it keep us apart? How does it connect us deeply to others? I spoke with author Melissa Petro, whose book, SHAME ON YOU: How to Be a Woman in the Age of Mortification, delves into the complex relationship between shame, identity, and connection. Together we explore how unacknowledged shame affects our ability to form deep, meaningful relationships.

Melissa shares her story of working in the sex industry to beginning a career as a writer and an art teacher in New York City and eventually becoming the subject of public scrutiny in many media headlines. She explains how carrying a “concealable, stigmatized identity” weighed on her and how she learned to navigate the delicate process of sharing her story with potential new friends.

Our conversation touches on the importance of moving beyond shame, why sharing our stories can foster closeness, and how to be a supportive listener when someone else opens up.

HIGHLIGHTS:

Why unacknowledged shame can create distance in friendships
Deciding when and how to share personal secrets
How to respond supportively when friends confide in you
Moving past labels and seeing friends as multi-dimensional
Practical ways to foster deeper, more authentic connections

LINKS & RESOURCES:

Episode 95: “Over Talking, Under Talking and Lessons for Friendship and the Art of Storytelling” (with Micaela Blei)
Episode 4: “Revealing Too Much Too Soon” (with Christie Tate)

MEET MELISSA PETRO:

Melissa Petro a cultural journalist, book coach, harm reduction activist and author of SHAME ON YOU: How to Be a Woman in the Age of Mortification, published last fall by Putnam Books, a division of Penguin Random House.

ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO

📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina

📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack

❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group

📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question

🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.

Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs!

Tämä jakso on lisätty Podme-palveluun avoimen RSS-syötteen kautta eikä se ole Podmen omaa tuotantoa. Siksi jakso saattaa sisältää mainontaa.

Jaksot(219)

#208 - Making Friends at Any Age Takes a Little Risk (Harlan Cohen)

Making friends at any age requires some willingness to put yourself out there—and to accept that not every invitation, effort, or friendship will go the way you hoped. New York Times bestselling auth...

23 Elo 40min

#207 - The Teen Friendship Habits We Bring Into Adulthood (Sheri Gazitt)

Friendship habits don’t necessarily disappear when we grow up. Nina talks with teen friendship expert Sheri Gazitt about the patterns that can follow us into adulthood, including how we handle exclusi...

16 Elo 29min

#206 - How Friendships Change When You Stop Drinking (Suzanne Warye)

What happens to your friendships when you stop drinking but your friends do not? Suzanne Warye, author of The Sober Shift and host of The Sober Mom Life, joins me to talk about socializing sober, chan...

9 Elo 33min

#205 - Get Offline and See Your Friends

Fresh off the five-year Dear Nina live event in Minneapolis, I found myself ready to step away from my computer and say yes to time with friends. In this short episode, I’m sharing a simple reminder t...

2 Elo 10min

#204 - "Go where the heat Is”: My Husband on Five Years of Friendship Advice

To mark five years of Dear Nina, I invited my husband, Bryan, who has listened to every episode and occasionally reminds me to follow my own advice. We talk about why so many friendship dilemmas come ...

26 Heinä 28min

#203 - College Rankings Don't Predict Where You'll Belong (Alexis White)

College admissions counselor Alexis White joins me to explain why rankings and prestige cannot tell you where a student will actually thrive. We talk about school size, campus culture, Greek life, com...

19 Heinä 46min

#202 - When Friends Make Plans Without You (Danielle Bayard Jackson)

We have all felt the sting of not being invited. In this replay episode, friendship educator Danielle Bayard Jackson joins Nina to talk about what it means—and does not always mean—when friends make p...

12 Heinä 41min

#201 - A Softer Way to Think About Friendships That Faded (Rebecca Kotok)

Rebecca Kotok, one of my very best friends and one of Dear Nina’s most popular guests, returns for a conversation about the way approaching 50, grief, and life experience can soften how we think about...

5 Heinä 30min