Rethinking Romance with Amy Key, author and poet and Poppy Jay, co-host of Brown Girls Do It Too

On this week’s episode of the podcast we wanted to talk about love, specifically how we move away from our societal obsession with romantic love and instead cultivate a more expansive, inclusive notion of love. One that releases us from the pressure to find “the one” and instead encourages us to find the romance in our platonic relationships.

According to Pew Research, one in four people will now remain single for their adult lives; the number of people getting married has fallen significantly (in the US have decreased by 60% since the 1970s and 90% of the world's population now live in countries with falling marriage rates). Meanwhile, birthrates are falling globally and have actually halved since 1963.

Yet, despite these changes in the extent to which coupledom, marriage and the traditional family structure are changing, culturally we are still seemingly fixated on romantic love as the pinnacle form of love. For women in particular, there remains so much pressure to find a husband and hence become a wife and a mother, as though our societal worth is pegged solely upon those two things.

And then there’s the so-called ‘single tax’, aka the aka the additional finances single people shoulder by virtue of not having a partner.

But this wasn’t a depressing conversation about the perils of being single. Quite the opposite. Instead it felt to us like a much needed, deeply galvanising discussion about all the ways in which we can find great romance in our lives outside of the prism of marriage and the traditional family structure. It was a reminder to all of us that there is so much to be celebrated in designing your life on your own terms and not waiting for someone to come along in order to create the life you truly want.

Joining Emma-Louise on the podcast was writer, poet and author of Arrangements in Blue, a book exploring a life lived in the absence of love, and Poppy Jay, the Bafta award-winning director and co-host of the Brown Girls Do It Too a BBC Sounds podcast.

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