Relationship Ambivalence: How to Get Clarity on Staying or Leaving | E471

Have you ever found yourself thinking, “I don’t know if I should stay, and I don’t know if I should go”? That painful in-between is called relationship ambivalence, and it can quietly drain years of your life if you don’t get clarity. In this episode, I’m joined by relationship researcher Dr. Merideth Thompson, who knows that limbo all too well. After staying stuck for nearly a decade, she created Partner Lab, a research-based company focused on improving relationships as a cornerstone of overall wellness. Together we’ll explore what the science says about relationship health, the “Clarity Matrix” she developed to cut through the fog, and the real-life questions that matter most when deciding whether to stay or leave. We also talk openly about staying “for the kids,” how familiar but unhealthy dynamics keep us hooked, and why actions, not words, show you whether your partner is really invested. Our goal isn’t to tell you whether to stay or go. It’s to give you the clarity and confidence to trust yourself again. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Should I Stay or Leave My Relationship? 01:43 Dr. Merideth Thompson’s Story and the Birth of Partner Lab 03:34 Research Insights on Relationship Health 09:51 The Clarity Matrix: Influence, Control, and Deal Breakers 14:06 Communication, Conflict Resolution, and Commitment 18:31 Discernment Counseling: Knowing If Change Is Possible 20:24 Actions Speak Louder Than Words in Relationships 28:02 Finding Clarity and Validation in Ambivalence 36:06 Parenting, Divorce, and Protecting Children 44:11 The Clarity Circle: Community and Support Want more support as you practice these skills? My free Communication That Connects Training will give you tools to shift out of conflict loops and into deeper connection, along with a workbook to help you put them into practice. You can also take my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz for a clear picture of what’s working and what needs care. I’d love to stay connected beyond the podcast - join me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube where I share more tools to help you grow together. And if this episode sparked a question or idea you’d like me to explore in the future, let’s talk! I'd also like to give a very special thank you to the sponsor of today’s episode: Headway. I love reading and learning, but finding the time to sit down with a book can feel impossible. That’s why I’m a huge fan of the Headway app. I use it almost every day, and it’s been a true game-changer for my personal growth. If you want to keep learning and growing right alongside me, I have an exclusive offer for you! Save 25% when you go to ⁠⁠makeheadway.com/lhs⁠⁠ and use the promo code LHS. Let’s keep learning and growing together. 🌱 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self