A Gender Traitor's Guide To Dating w/ Jordan Jensen | Your Mom's House Ep. 828

A Gender Traitor's Guide To Dating w/ Jordan Jensen | Your Mom's House Ep. 828

Make sure to watch Jordan's new Netflix special "Take Me With You", streaming now! SPONSORS: Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/momshouse Head to https://BlueChew.com to get your first month FREE. Just use promo code YMH at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping. New Customers Bet $5 Get $200 Instantly in Bonus Bets. Sign up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my promo code MOM Go to http://helixsleep.com/YMH for 25% Off Sitewide. Welcome back to Your Mom’s House with Tom Segura and Christina P! This week Tim and Kristin are joined by comedian Jordan Jensen (Netflix: Take Me With You, Being Ian with Jordan).The mommies kick things off with some cat updates, code switching, and a heated debate about napkin pants. Then Jordan sits down to talk about growing up with two moms and a cowboy dad, why female comics all have “dyke energy,” and the elite nightmare of dating apps like Raya.We get into cold plunges, “gender traitors,” road rage in New York City, fart legends like King Ass Ripper, and Jordan’s on-again-off-again relationships. Plus: the infamous “N-Ain’t Shit” lady, breakdancing protestors, and why sharts aren’t what you think they are.It’s a packed episode full of laughs, chaos, and classic YMH insanity. Your Mom’s House Ep. 828 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit http://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org (CT) or visit http://www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). 1 per new customer. $5+ first-time bet req. Max. $200 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Bets that expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: http://sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos . Ends 9/29/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:48 - Christina's Art & Cat Breath 00:04:10 - Code Switching For Elite Whites 00:15:57 - Opening Clip: Demons In My Womb 00:18:39 - Clip: Fart On Me Freakout 00:23:28 - Double Pipe Collab 00:25:56 - Do You Have A Husband? 00:30:48 - Clip: Presidential Candidate 00:32:36 - Full Figured Woman 00:36:38 - Napkin Pants 00:38:49 - Jordan Jensen Isn't Gay 00:44:27 - Masculine Comedy Energy 00:50:24 - Gender Traitor 01:40:45 - Closing Song: "Six Butts (More To Love)" By DJ Fat Hog Jeans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Live from the Ice House-217-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Live from the Ice House-217-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Stimulate our minds, Jeans! The Ice House is always bumpin when 2 Mommies wearing denim decide to sit down for some greezy time. A great crowd filled the room while many more watched it streaming online. This live show has amazing audio, mommy confessions, intimate talk, Fill Her Up and so much more! We just opened a new denim processing factory because of this episode!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

25 Huhti 20141h 39min

216-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

216-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Well a very heavy bertation tonight. We had a very derison bite. Lets go ahead terrison to the bit in the hit a bit. Make sense? Good. Ladies, watch out, it could happen to you (fingers crossed!). Theo has been going on SOLO adventures. We finally catch up to what he's been doing - he was not very forthcoming, for the record. Plus a touching Easter story from Tina and she REkindles the flame that is her passion for UB40. Can Tom decode what some black guy is saying? Did The Ultimate Warrior know where the Dudes were at?? We may be able to confirm that. Keep It Greezy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

23 Huhti 201459min

215-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

215-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Wait, White what? Ohhhhh. This gets pretty advanced pretty quickly. Some people can't sing, some people aren't retarded. But some people are an interesting mix up of both. We break it down for you. You might be surprised when we listen to the greatest song of our generation and strip it down to it's suspiciously "special" voice. Are all children actually retard(ed) sounding? A "Bad Girl" asks if you know what she's saying, but she has a special twist! Plus a hockey player throws hit hat in the ring as he drops a mountain of "You Know's" in an interview. Wear HEADPHONES for this one! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

18 Huhti 20141h 2min

214-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

214-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Get out of that Country A** nonsense, pull up your denim and get ready for the get down. We got a hot new anthem for REAL MOMMIES ONLY. Plus, Tommy ran into Joey "Try Eating This and Living" Diaz on a flight and, yeah, meltdown came soon after. Real husbands say, "Show me how those big T**s fart" to their wives and maybe now, you will too? Pastor Manning is completely insane and we have the audio to prove it. REAL TALK is back and we are ready to ROAST the Duggars wildly selfish lifestyle. This episode is offensive.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

16 Huhti 20141h 2min

213-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

213-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

You know you're in good company when the WHITE HOUSE is listening to your show. We have pretty compelling evidence that suggests that President Obama listens to the show and keeps up with the YMH lingo. Maybe he'll be on the show soon? Hope so. If you and your boys are planning on getting together for a fun night of bro'ing down you should get a Naughty Boy and take that party to the next level! It's been a minute, but TOP DOG is back and he's got one of his "great ideas." Plus, you guessed it, he has a dump story. As if that didn't make you shart your shorts, there's MORE! OMG Maria is on this ep! She tells the uh, "story" of her latest car accident and names a new leader when it comes to foreigners who's language skills/attitudes upset her. You're not ready!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

11 Huhti 20141h 7min

212-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

212-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

WHAT WRONG WITH YOU? said the most awesome pastor ever. I'll let him finish his sentence. Have you seen that show, Masturbate Theater? It's pretty good and we have a clip. Mr. Selfridge has a very interesting French character who encourages a nice young English lady to meet his anus. What's up with Pro Wrestling, for real? When do you stop liking it? Do you wear Superman pajamas? Good. This ep has a BIG TIME Dental Update from TINA and a poop story for the ages from one of YOU!! LADIES, trim your tootsie nails - they're not supposed to hang over the edge. We discuss in a new NAILS segment. And, you guessed it, there's more sayin of You Know What I'm Sayin - You know what we're sayin?  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

9 Huhti 20141h 28min

Live from San Francisco-211-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Live from San Francisco-211-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

No need for a big description here - it's LIVE from San Francisco (Man Frandisco). Put on your old denim panties and enjoy this one (it's full of treats)! J-J-J-JEANS UNIT Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

4 Huhti 20141h 25min

210-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

210-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Ain't nothin in life free. P***y would be at the top of that list, especially for an ex-pat roided out Aussie pimp handling his Thai ho's. Make sense? Dude has some good points and a LOT of job stoppers (you'll soon understand). A man violated the safety and sanctity of our neighborhood in front of Tina and inTO a Yoplait (possible future sponsor?). We go to the Forensic Files to see if we can solve the case! Do families that masturbate together just, basically, get along the best? We just don't know. Tina left behind a life in the KGB to come to the US of A and today is the anniversary. Will she be allowed to stay? Obama decides! Wiping with a MAN'S wipe is new for Lady Jeans. We can't wait for her review. Most IMPORTANTLY we break down the new and accepted criteria for crowning the You Know What I'm Sayin Champion and it's a real GAME CHANGER. It's spring time, get that seasonal denim out!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

2 Huhti 20141h 18min

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