308 SelfWork: Five Takeaways on the Need To Be Right

I began this episode thinking I’d talk about ten things I’d learned from being a therapist. But I realized that almost every one of them could be their own podcast episode. Today we’ll focus on the first – not in importance, but the first that came to mind – perhaps connected with the zeitgeist of our time. The need to be right or living being certain that you are. We’ll discuss these questions: Is having the need to be right a bad or a good thing, helpful or hurtful? Is it connected with a mental or emotional condition such as depression or anxiety? How can that belief affect your relationships with others? I’ve done my research and we’ll look at it from various angles – and then, per usual, I’ll add in my two cents.

Five Major Takeaways!

• Being right and needing to be right are two completely different things. You can be right but also be humble.
• Being wrong is a means of learning. Coming to a conclusion that proves to be wrong or misguided is a means through which you figure out things that will be helpful to you. “I was wrong about that.”
• Your perspective is unique and thus has value. But it’s also limiting – meaning there are other perspectives that are valuable as well..
• A change of perspective creates growth; When you think about some of the most meaningful movies or books you’ve ever seen or read, it probably involves watching someone’s perspective change. The Star Wars series is an embodiment of this – when we watch someone cross from the “dark” side into the “light.” Or vice versa. The battle of what’s their truth – what’s their belief – and how perspectives can change for good and bad.
• Living with uncertainty is a skill.

The voicemail message for today is from a listener who’s been on disability for years and is struggling with self-worth and finding a sense of purpose, especially because her son is graduating, she’s getting a divorce so she’s facing being alone. That’s a lot to have on your plate. What would you say to her?

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You can hear more about boundaries and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

The Forbes article on being right or being effective.

Cleveland Clinic article describing the traits of sociopathy

Take a look at this ambiguous images!

SelfWork episode: Depression Is Not Simply A Chemical Imbalance: Part 2

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