368: Great Romance vs. Great Regret… PLUS: Can the "Least Attractive" Still Be Happy?

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld.

0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro

04:03 Q1: Married for 20 years but never loved him

21:10 Using the written word to express yourself

40:55 Q2: Can the "least attractive" still find sexual satisfaction and happiness?

1:03:25 Final thoughts

Q1: I have been married to my husband for 20 years, we are both 45 now. He is a wonderful person, gentle, caring, sweet, intelligent, and an amazing father to our three small children, who all love him deeply. We have been through so much together and he helped make my dreams come true. I have great respect for him as a person and a deep seated gratitude for what he has done for me and my family, but I never loved him as a wife should love a husband, I've never been physically or sexually attracted to him. At this point in my life, I feel like I want to be with someone who I am physically attracted to. I want to experience the great romance that I never did in my youth. I know you will say leave him and find it, but you see, Dr. Lisle, it's not so simple. He loves us greatly, and If I leave, it would crush him. I just can't do that to him or the children, who are so very attached to him. If I leave, the guilt will eat away at me and I will be very unhappy, because I do love him in a way, for everything that he's done for me. But don't I deserve to at least try to go out and find my great romance? The more I think about it, the more it seems that I won't be happy either way. What should I do?

Q2: Can the woman who is objectively a 4 on the attractiveness scale really be happy and sexually satisfied with a man who is a 2 or 3? Or is she just with him because she knows she can't do any better? Is she actually attracted to that man? I know I would never find a man who is a 3 attractive. I would much rather stay single for life than be with a man I am not 100% attracted to. Can less attractive people truly be happy in their pair bond relationship?

X: @BeatYourGenes

Web: www.beatyourgenes.org

Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com

Nathan Gershfeld, DC www.fastingescape.com

Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use

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