#125- Cumrade Corvus

A group of intergalactic criminals must pull together to stop Bonan from getting the Infinity Bone! Comedian Bri Pruett (@bripruett) joins Alice Vaughn (@RationalBlonde) & Natalia Reagan (@natalia13reagan) for unnecessary movie facts, asking who the word "gnard" is for, Pauly Shore, prison cavity searches, wooden dildos, and much more.  Support us on Patreon!  Unknown Speaker 0:02 This is two girls one Mike, Unknown Speaker 0:04 the show that talks about the holes and plotholes of your favorite porn. Alice Vaughn 0:09 Welcome to Two girls one Mike the podcast or if you say these three words, eight letters were yours. Natalia, do you know what phrase that is? Oh god, no, I love you know, Natalia Reagan 0:20 it's I am Groot. Mm hmm. I was a big fan of I am growing. That was a highlight of the film for me personally, Alice Vaughn 0:29 if you confidently walk into a room and say I am crying, I guess I'm also yours. Natalia Reagan 0:34 It kind of is my mating call. These days. It's not necessarily picking up the right shooters, but you know, sometimes you got to do it. You got to do Alice Vaughn 0:41 guys, I'm Alice Vaughn, your co host, and of course because events on medical leave, we have Natalia Regan filling in now we have Natalia Reagan filling in one day, I'm gonna get your name right Natalia Reagan 0:52 Just think of a ray gun. Just think of a gun that shoots raise, or Ronald, but I hate to bring him up into this. Alice Vaughn 0:59 Right there. Any other Reagan's Natalia Reagan 1:01 my family. But unfortunately Ronnie and his son and Nancy and Nancy didn't do much for the whole her whole war on drugs, man. And pornography by the way. Alice Vaughn 1:13 Look, I know you're probably not related, but if you could get Nancy Reagan so we could discuss the war on drugs. Oh, do not show she Natalia Reagan 1:21 I should know this. I guess she is so I've Oh, wow, maybe, huh. Well, we'll see. I don't know. I can use that Reagan to my advantage. Some leverage. Somewhere back in court County. Some there's some sort of linkage. You never know. related to Alice Vaughn 1:34 Bri. Do you have any interesting people you're related to? Bre Pruitt 1:37 Actually my grandmother survived Pearl Harbor. Oh, very exciting. Alice Vaughn 1:41 Probably not at the time. Bre Pruitt 1:42 Yeah. You know, when you just survive something. You're not famous afterward? Yeah. Was Natalia Reagan 1:48 she in so I take it she was in Hawaii. Was she working with military or? Bre Pruitt 1:52 No, she lives there. Natalia Reagan 1:54 She does. Okay, she wants something. Bre Pruitt 1:58 Yeah, that's something so keep Dream and everybody Alice Vaughn 2:01 so on the show we have Brie Pruitt to help review nardin's of the galaxy with us Natalia Reagan 2:07 a real classic honestly Alice Vaughn 2:08 pretty How did you feel about reviewing porn? Have you reviewed porn before? I have Bre Pruitt 2:12 reviewed porn before you guys had my friend Alex Cohn on the show previously and outspoken hosts a podcast called read it and weep and he made me watch made me That sounds very Unknown Speaker 2:23 funny too. Bre Pruitt 2:25 So let's revise that he is he is a white man. So let's change that. He's one of the good ones. So let's let's change that revise that I elected to join his podcast to review. I believe it was a Star Wars porn, which I'm sure you all have seen because that's your bread and butter, so to speak. It was fine when I am watching porn that I like. I have extremely specific critiques. But I think that whoever nardin's the galaxy is for it is not me. And my criticism like it hasn't Nothing to do with my sexuality. So that is very easy to watch. And because there's no sexuality to me at all about it. I mean is that if you guys feel that way, there's no danger of me being turned on when watching this movie at all at all. Natalia Reagan 3:14 That's me know, I feel the same with a lot of porn parodies the Star Wars one I remember it. I don't know if you saw the one with a very scintillating Chewbacca Wookie threesome. There's got to be more than just one. Bre Pruitt 3:28 I guess what I will say I'm a comedian by my job, and I am a sexual human. With that, like comedy and sexuality. There's no overlap for me at all. Do you all feel the same way? You've watched a lot of porn parody. Alice Vaughn 3:43 It's very rare nowadays when I'm watching a porn parody that I get turned on just because for me, it's become my job. So I just compartmentalize what I'm actually into, into a very different segment that doesn't involve Normally bits happening before and or during the boning. Who is this for the fans of what have sex or a galaxy? Guardians of the Galaxy? Okay. Okay, that's what the parodies are normally made for. It's for the super fans. I see. Natalia Reagan 4:22 I want to take it to the next level. Bre Pruitt 4:24 Okay, so I have a lot of friends who are in the erotic fan fiction universe. This is sort of erotic fan fiction come to life in a lot of ways. Alice Vaughn 4:32 I hadn't considered it that way. But yes, Bre Pruitt 4:34 I have a friend who's very into supernatural. Have you ever heard of supernatural Unknown Speaker 4:39 the TV show? Natalia Reagan 4:40 Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I have a friend that I believe is on that show. Bre Pruitt 4:44 Really? Okay. So yeah, you may know that they are so into fan culture on that show that they have cons all the time, like every other weekend that the cast comes and talks to people and the erotic fan fiction is like very celebrated in this community. To be, and I just didn't like, I guess, nerds gotta come to but, you know, I, the the comedy of it all it takes me right out of it. Natalia Reagan 5:12 I'm a big laughter during sex I like laughing Yeah, I mean, well, you know, I don't want it to be like the Benny Hill show but I definitely wanted you know, like it's like split the diff between you know, Fabio and cuz I used to write and I've talked about this on the show before when I was a little girl I was very into skinemax and softcore porn as a child like I was just Okay, so I started writing and my mom had the clan of the cave Bear Bear book. So I started writing my own and my mom busted me multiple times. And the big threat was I'm going to tell your father and years later I told my dad and he's like, That's hilarious. Like he loved it. But I hadn't been Of course at that age, he probably would have flipped out but, you know, I was always obsessed and I'd like adding some humor to it like, you know, I would write them for my Friends so friend, like, you know, someone will get a crush on somebody I was like, and they liked horseback riding so I did have a whole series of them having sex whilst riding a horse, you know, like real ridiculous stuff, but I do agree like, for instance and I know we're gonna jump in the film in a minute but like when growing got shrunk to a small growing and I believe is it April Amelie? Who's playing Alice Vaughn 6:22 rocket? raccoon? Yeah, Natalia Reagan 6:24 I met her once at Burning Man, like a delightful human. I mostly recognized her boobs. Unknown Speaker 6:31 Which are Alice Vaughn 6:32 fantastic. That says something if you could recognize an individual specifically by their boobs. Yes. Bre Pruitt 6:38 It says something about both about the individual and you. I mean, I think Natalia Reagan 6:42 yeah, it kind of it kind of does not gonna lie. I once actually was in a supermarket. I heard behind me I'd recognize that as anywhere and I turned around it was my friend and he recognized me from because I was wearing like bike shorts or something. Yes, I was like, that's not thank goodness. I was alone. I wasn't with like, you know, a partner. Somebody yeah April Neal plays you know rocket the character when she starts having her way with the new and improved shrug monitor has improved. He's so small, but I was kinda like, what, what, what, why is this hat? What? How did this okay and then there was nothing sexy about it I couldn't really get into it and sometimes I do watch the actual porn scenes when I do this because you know, we really focus on the plot because that's so important. But that one I had a hard time getting excited about, you know, and I was really afraid I wanted a reference to that one. Alice Vaughn 7:32 By the way, it's interesting that you mentioned supernatural because I a few years ago for Halloween when I said Leviathan and do you guys know what a Leviathan from supernaturalists No, no. Okay, this is a fun one. So it's basically a face where the entire ring of where my face would be. It's just teeth. Natalia Reagan 7:51 Oh, I think oh, or I think I've seen you do that. That's Yeah, that was what that was. Alice Vaughn 7:56 So can you let me know where these erotic Fan things are going on because that in a porn I'm saying and are fanfiction then again, what is called vid vagina? dentata? Yeah, it's kind of taken to an extreme Natalia Reagan 8:12 high, not all the dentata that's a face you would not like to form a cape with or would I don't know what your kinks are. I'm not gonna judge. That's, that's up to you. Alice Vaughn 8:22 Okay, so, Bree, how do we describe this film for if someone's never seen Guardians of the Galaxy, the film? Bre Pruitt 8:29 Yeah, I think you know, it's a comic book film. It's an entourage. It's a band of misfits. The porn parody did a great job of setting up which is the first act of the the Guardians of the Galaxy, which is all the Misfits go to jail together, and then they rely on each other to break out of jail together. And that's how they figure out Oh, we're all well matched. And we're a good band and we should be Guardians of the Galaxy. I think the film success is all about Chris Pratt. I think it's all about the charm of its lead. I think Chris Pratt, is he I unfortunately have some problematic Christian politics but besides that he's kind of our Tom Hanks Tom Cruise right now, millennial wise, Alice Vaughn 9:07 you know, they almost didn't choose Chris Pratt, truly Tell me about that. Apparently he was a shoo in, but the person who was closest to taking the role, you guys know Glenn Howerton, the guy who plays Dennis Reynolds from It's Always Sunny. Unknown Speaker 9:19 Damn, that would have been a totally different movie. Oh, yeah, I know. Alice Vaughn 9:23 How do we turn a five star man? It's a Star Lord. Bre Pruitt 9:27 Glenn Howerton, it would have been like more funny and like caustic and he would have been less likable is the thing Peter Quill is like a very likeable hero character, you know cuz his mom died and that's his whole deal. Natalia Reagan 9:43 sympathetic character. Alice Vaughn 9:44 Instead, we would have had the implication in space. The implication sorry, is Bre Pruitt 9:49 that I get it. Yeah, it's I'm sorry. I know. That's a pretty deep well, so for the outro. Alice Vaughn 9:56 So yeah, maybe we should start from the very beginning of this. So by the way, it's not a surprise that they, you know, someone had parody and someone in this case was would rock it ended up parenting Guardians of the Galaxy. Because I think when it was launched, it was the first non Avengers Marvel film to be developed by Walt Disney and it. I think domestically gross like $300 million. Really? So Natalia Reagan 10:22 a lot. Yeah, I did not see it in the show in theaters, though, but that doesn't say much because I am kind of lame these days, and I watch everything on planes, which is not the way they should be viewed. This is Bre Pruitt 10:33 what I always watch on a plane. This is a movie I watch over and over again. I really like it a lot. Okay, I'm a basketball fan. You know, when you put like a really good player in England, kind of a less appreciated role. That's what you got with Guardians of the Galaxy. You got Bradley Cooper coming in clutch plan, a weird director role. You know, you got Vin Diesel as Groot that's maybe he just says grit the whole time. But there's a lot behind there. You know, it's a lot of subtext. It's a lot of soul. A lot of soul in those It's it's a dope series I enjoyed even the like dumb, you know, Flintstones Jetsons crossover in the New Avengers movie where quill meets Tony Stark and I love it. I love the mashups of the of the whole Marvel Universe. I mean, I'm like, It pains me to say because as I am like, I add a film degree I like independent and foreign films. And also I will watch any of these fucking Marvel films that they make. Because, you know, we gotta we gotta have a good time in these in these trying times. Natalia Reagan 11:28 Oh, absolutely. There's a little bit I mean, I feel like during most four times, that's usually when the movies sort of explode and have the best years is because people need that escapism and I wouldn't obviously liken this to World War Two, but it's our version. Bre Pruitt 11:44 With what we've got right now it is it's about as bad as we've experienced are certain terms of just what the fuck every day, a friend of mine was doing, like testing for like figuring out what kids like to watch on TV these days. And this kid at this test was like, Oh, I watched the show. You've probably never heard of it. It's called Brady Bunch. And I love the Brady Bunch was specifically made to distract people from the Vietnam War. You know, all that shitty television of the 60s and 70s was just to like, keep everybody placated. And that's really what we're I think we're getting back to I mean, the fall lineup is good though. I will say I'm watching a lot of TV right now like just to see what they're making for you know, to unite A divided America. And it's very interesting. Wow, we got off topic. What Natalia Reagan 12:29 were we talking about? grind? Yeah, it's okay. This is a show about tangent. Is there a Brady Bunch porn parody? Alice? Yes. I found out No. Alice Vaughn 12:40 Aha, we're so gonna watch it. We're so gonna watch it too. Bre Pruitt 12:45 I mean, we all know that Florence Henderson was a dirty birds. My dad has told me stories they should make the porn parody should just be behind the scenes right cameras off Natalia Reagan 12:55 REG and mom and oh my god. Oh my underwear. Oh, Purple Jesus, Marsha, Marsha, Marsha. And then the music starts playing and in January Oh God. Bre Pruitt 13:06 Oh, wow. They just sold that house. Really? You know who's gonna buy the house? Okay, I'm about to blow your minds. I can't believe I can pull this fact out Gary Unknown Speaker 13:15 Busey. That's, you Bre Pruitt 13:16 know what close. Lance Bass was about to buy that house. And he was gonna buy it and like, like, remodel it into something and use the profits for something else, but it's something fell through with the deal. Listen, it's crazy that I know this kind of stuff. But it's only because I write monologue jokes for TV shows sometimes. Awesome. Yeah, but you know, maybe somebody could persuade Lance to shoot something there you know, I'm saying Natalia Reagan 13:40 the new insane you know, reboot video. They can totally do a Brady Bunch video montage, you know? Bre Pruitt 13:47 Oh, sure. I mean, I don't think in sync is getting together for that. But I was thinking, I don't know anything. They could film anything there. Natalia Reagan 13:52 You could reboot the whole Well, I don't I'm not up for reboots anymore. I'm so tired of them. But that would be a reboot that would probably do well. Bre Pruitt 13:59 Oh, great. Brady Bunch reboot. Kids are in jail. Alice Vaughn 14:02 Some of them are drug addicts. I know it's mostly Marsha's definitely on drugs, she's definitely on something just doctor pills. Yeah. pills, or J. So nardin's Nardi, and so I mean, technically all the nardin's don't have nards. So I mean, I guess that you know, we could go with Guardians of the Galaxy, I Natalia Reagan 14:22 mean, nords or nads are short for gonads which males and females both I'm a scientist, so males and females actually both have gonads, but ours are just on the inside. Right? I stand corrected. Sorry. Sorry. Unknown Speaker 14:35 No, we care about science. We care about science here. So as Bre Pruitt 14:39 far as titles go, I give this about a six out of 10 y'all agree? You know, Alice, you're the expert. What do you think? Alice Vaughn 14:50 No, I think it's good. You know, I mean, they did make fun of the title in the part two, which I decided to watch for shits and giggles where they said that the other options Guardians of the Galaxy as well as guardians of the galaxy, except spelled with triple x. Unknown Speaker 15:05 So yeah, you know what, Alice Vaughn 15:06 I definitely prefer this as opposed to nine times out of 10, where we get Guardians of the Galaxy, and then it's triple x, or not the Guardians of the Galaxy, which let's be honest, it's just for SEO purposes, not your Unknown Speaker 15:20 mother's Natalia Reagan 15:23 or your mother's Guardians of the Galaxy, depending on who your mom is, Bre Pruitt 15:27 I think nardin's of the galaxy really sets you up for what you're going to see. You know, I just figured it out. The film has been made for guys who use the word nards. That's not me. That's not anybody I know. You know, but that's who it's for for sure. And so great naming would rock it. Yeah. Alice Vaughn 15:46 I mean, that's a very slim audience to I don't know anyone who uses nards. But then again, I we are coastal elitists, I assume so you know, you being in LA and yeah, I Bre Pruitt 15:56 think nards is a very California word actually. And I think It was heavy in the 90s. And it's faded in use, but I think it was like it was peak usage like in the Pauly Shore, row universe. Those guys are in their mid 40s now, and that's who this film is for. It's The Big Lebowski is of the 90s who used the word nards in mixed company written nerds. Yeah, they got fired from their job at a bank for using the word nards because they thought it was a word that was okay to use, but then somebody was really, actually Nathan it's 2019 you can't tell somebody to open a checking account because it's nards sick that's not nerd sick but I don't know how to use the word obviously it's not for me it's not my word. Not going to appropriate that from them. Yeah, no, I feel Natalia Reagan 16:50 like I mean, should we try to resurrect it? Is it is this time is this show? Should we go let them help please? Okay, Alice Vaughn 16:56 let 40 year olds have something. Let them hey, they're not That's easy Mac. Bre Pruitt 17:01 No, no, not you. I mean, these guys that didn't grow up, you know, that are still in their culture from the 90s from the early 90s Oh my god. Natalia Reagan 17:11 Yeah. Pauly Shore was a thing, Polly. I still don't understand why Pauly Shore was a thing Bre Pruitt 17:17 because his mom was famous and paid for all that shit. Natalia Reagan 17:19 Yeah. Who's this mom? His mom runs the Comedy Store. Oh, Bre Pruitt 17:23 yeah. She's a really important figure in the stand up scene and like the 70s. And he was kind of, but he did hit on something, right. I mean, it was a popular moment for him. The weasel. weasel? His mom, I think recently passed away too. But yeah, she was responsible for a lot of stand ups that came up in the 70s 80s 90s including her son. You know what I for sure bet Pauly Shore has watched Guardians of the Galaxy. I've never been more sure of anything in my life. Natalia Reagan 17:51 I think that's a pretty fair bet. I wonder if there's a porn parody of an unseen Oh man. That's a great idea. Alice Vaughn 17:57 Pauly Shore if you're listening to this, email us info to girls one Mike Bre Pruitt 18:00 Paul, if you're a fan of the podcast get in touch. You should just be on Natalia Reagan 18:05 the podcast. Bre Pruitt 18:07 Yeah. Has he done any porn? It seems like he has right. Natalia Reagan 18:11 I feel like he would it was screeched that did the porn right it was it was Dustin diamond. Oh god What do Bre Pruitt 18:17 you think would be more upset that you confuse to them Dustin diamond or Pauly Shore? I think Pauly Shore. I think you'd be shocked to be confused with Pauly Shore. Natalia Reagan 18:27 He would be his nerves would be in knots. Yeah, there's a couple of those like be level actors that turned anyone into porn for a little bit. Yeah. And then came back out. I don't know if anyone went back to mainstream stuff. But Justin diamonds, if you're listening to the show, Alice Vaughn 18:45 give a holler. What else are you doing? Unknown Speaker 18:47 Yeah, right. Alice Vaughn 18:49 So we've kind of started off with it's very Indiana Jones like where you have StarLord or star load in this instance, trying to swap what looks like Solid dildo surrounded by laser beams with something of equal weight, which, I mean Haven't we all been there i guess i mean Bre Pruitt 19:07 if I hadn't done I mean the feedback loop of Indiana Jones to Guardians of the Galaxy to narnians of the galaxy like what a journey you know, so many layers it's a roller coaster. A lot of reading to do. Natalia Reagan 19:23 I definitely appreciated rocket being a female because Allison I when we first decided that we were going to when she told me that she wanted to do nardin's of the galaxy, my first thought being a scientist is most mammals have a baculum, which is a penis bone. The penis bone of the raccoon, the baculum is often called a mountain man toothpick because they're pretty thin. And they can even whittle them down and using like a toothpick. Yeah, so I remember thinking, Oh, man, are they going to acknowledge or make reference to you generally they don't have that much science, but maybe they would to the rockets, you know? baculum but they didn't And it's a female with spectacular breasts, as we already noted, and yeah, so that was a way to avoid that conflict. Alice Vaughn 20:07 So what's funny is now that you mentioned raccoon penises I just remembered that past guest of the show Steve gadlin that I will draw a cat for you guy from Shark Tank. He at one point was trying to give away 1000 raccoon penises. Unknown Speaker 20:22 Like you do. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what? Alice Vaughn 20:28 He was giving away 1000 raccoon penises? Natalia Reagan 20:31 What? Why I've been gifted them before he found a supplier. Bre Pruitt 20:36 This is like where the MC rib comes from right there. Just the market is rich with rakuen penises. Alice Vaughn 20:42 It's like chicken feed. I mean, Americans don't eat chicken feet so you have to dispose them somewhere. So I guess rack. Unknown Speaker 20:49 I wear mine around my neck. Natalia Reagan 20:53 a necklace of chicken feet. It's delightful. Bre Pruitt 20:56 I just want to back up a little bit and saying Italia. What a weird The world you live in that you heard you're gonna watch Guardians of the Galaxy porn and you thought, huh, what if they're gonna acknowledge the raccoon penis bone? Yes, this is this is how my head works. It's awesome. I mean, it's awesome that you know that it's awesome that you, you know, that's a thought that you get to have organically, you know, that would take me 5060 years to come up with a thought like that. But Wow, amazing. Natalia Reagan 21:26 Well, now, through this teaching experience we've had, I'm also a professor, that's another job that I have. I know, very strange life. But now with sharing this knowledge, you will have that thought in the future. Oh, because certainly most mammals most I mean, I even thought when we watched the Star Wars one, I thought, well, Chewbacca has a sex scene and he's a Wookie. Is he more like a great ape? I hosted a Bigfoot show years ago. So I also got asked a lot of questions. What would Bigfoot swing look like? And I always said, Well, he's like a human humans have the largest penis to body size of the primates, of the non human body. primates, gorillas if you think you know, a Wookie is more like a gorilla or an orangutan, they have very small dogs. So King Kong is no king Dong. They actually are on like a baby carrot. They're like an inch and a half average size penis for a 400 pound gorilla. So these are the things that cross my mind. Sometimes when I'm laying awake at night, thinking about the next porn parody I'm gonna watch Bre Pruitt 22:25 so going back to the porn, and just wanted to say that I think Chewbacca has a really small penis, or he has a really large penis because he's kind of dumb, right? And so the blood isn't reaching his brain. Oh, it's all down there. Okay, that's what's happening or he is really smart. And then that means small Dong. Okay. You may continue with your podcast hosting Alice. Unknown Speaker 22:48 No, I like this. We appreciate this. No, no, Natalia Reagan 22:51 that these theories, you know, we need to discuss these otherwise, well, who else is going to Bre Pruitt 22:56 happy to add to the rich texture of the podcast? So yes, Natalia Reagan 22:59 Guardians of the Alice Vaughn 23:00 Galaxy. So we have rocket recruit, as you mentioned, it's a female who has well, quite a few. I mean, 552 counts of public leg humping. And she's four months behind on a rabies vaccination. And to which then I was wondering, how often do you have to get rabies vaccinations for your pets? Currently depends could be like a booster shot once a year or two. There's others that are good, like every three years. But by the way, if you ever get rabies, I was reading about that. It's horrific. It's really crazy. Yeah, central nervous system shuts down, you go into a coma, you die in seven days. It is the least exciting version of the Reinke. Natalia Reagan 23:40 Oh, no, I I tried to stay away from rabid animals. It's usually just how I do you know, see foaming at the mouth. awake during weird hours of the day. I remember seeing raccoons I went to Graceland a few months back and, you know, Raccoons are generally nocturnal and you won't see them too often. During the day as much as you know, foraging around at night and I saw that this one raccoon just running around during the day and I'm like, ooh, oh no, I'm gonna stay I'm gonna stay clear of that guy because I don't know, you know, not that I'm generally going up to strange raccoons during the evening as well, but I get curious trash pandas excite me. Alice Vaughn 24:20 We also have Drax the Destroyer in this is cracks to destroyer. And he's extremely angered because they discontinued his favorite loop. So he's been on a sexual rampage and vengeance. gam hora who has two dozen counts of sexual rampage daughter earthiness. And I did appreciate you know, the sounds like build cars and then just stopped. Bre Pruitt 24:45 So yeah, well, I thought that was really weird actually. Like we're gonna make a joke about this thing. It's not a so we're going to pretend like he like one character is like not allowing the other character maybe to make the jump but the films do made the job. Yeah, I don't know guys. What's the point? Alice Vaughn 25:04 Yeah, you're right maybe Yeah, it was a thing. I mean, Natalia Reagan 25:07 it's already a porn so I mean really is saying the next syllable that bad Is it really you know is it really crossing the line after we just watched a raccoon pleasure herself with a shrunk and growing? Alice Vaughn 25:20 Well we'll get to that then we have grown actually growing is the personal sex aid slash muscle to rocket recruit and the universe's largest dildo and I'm a little disappointed myself because I didn't Google what is the world's largest dildo? So I'm sorry, we Natalia Reagan 25:38 believe that is President Trump. Bre Pruitt 25:40 I have to say that the problem with that is kind of subjective about what a dildo is. You know what I mean? Like a dildo is pretty much anything. Yeah. You know, like you could call the Washington Monument, the largest dildo you could call the Statue of Liberty. I mean, you wouldn't because the right wing media would run with That, but you could we were making comments about Natalia Reagan 26:03 the size of your microphone earlier that could be Bre Pruitt 26:07 Yeah, I can't say stuff like that. I'm a senator. Did you guys know that? So you're gonna really need to redact a lot of stuff out of this podcast. There's gonna be like the transcript will just be a black page. I told you that ahead of time. I am a senator, I'm a sitting senator. Natalia Reagan 26:23 You I mean, you are technically sitting so yeah, yes. No, that's a down senator. This is true. Alice Vaughn 26:30 I mean, I'm sure they'll let us run all of these words as Facebook ad Yeah. You know, you know, your neck for your reelection campaign, but Unknown Speaker 26:38 yeah, just fine. Alice Vaughn 26:41 And then we had pecker quill, who we find out he sneaks into infinity bone into the prison, which what I did appreciate though is when they did the lineup seem they did it as accurately to the movie as possible, meaning everybody was in their own places. You had Star Lord Gamora rocket etc in the exact lineup, which was really cool. We're not cool, just accurate. Bre Pruitt 27:08 Visually accurate visually. The thing is, the film directors know what they're doing, you know, they know what a dynamic visual picture looks like, you know, and it looks like all the characters have different heights standing in the perfect places. That's what a tableau is, you know, and if Todd Phillips or whoever the fuck directed that movie who directed the movie Alice? James Gunn Great. So James Gunn put his directorial eye on the lineup. You know if you are James, you know, pecker whoever. The of the remake? Yeah, you should start just making a shot by shot. I think that's the smart way to go. Don't reinvent the wheel. You know what I mean? Yeah, well, Alice Vaughn 27:47 the Star Wars one was we talked about the accuracy of that particular film. I mean, they really they didn't even change the names for the most part, right. They kept them pretty which I thought There was some missed opportunities for some horrible puns. The Star Wars one was so shot by shot that they even skimmed over potential sexual puns just so they could recreate Star Wars was intense so going back to the porn what was interesting was pecker quill snuck the Infinity bone interest, but and then I started having questions about how much you could fit into your bot. Especially in prison. Have you guys ever thought about this? Natalia Reagan 28:30 How much I've thought about a lot of weird things but Bre Pruitt 28:33 I always assumed like an infinite amount of stuff can fit in here but I just didn't really think about it. Alice Vaughn 28:37 I started kind of going on like a rabbit hole of Justin fruit but information after you know that joke about that he snuck it in through his butt. Because I thought to myself, I'm like, Okay, well, why can't they just do screenings like they do at the TSA to whether or not you know, someone has something in there but but then I realized apparently that a lot of these places I don't have the budget for things like that. Also, I mean, the rectum is you know, at the end of the large intestine the area just after colon and before the sphincter, and I was trying to figure out okay, well how big is it and some medical sites will say that the rectum is like six to eight inches long and 2.5 inches at its widest point. But it seems really misleading because I was reading because the tissue itself is super stretchy. So what I'm saying is I was reading about Dr. horror stories about what people were pulling out of their butts. Bre Pruitt 29:30 Yeah, that's what I like. That's my understand. Yeah, is like pretty much anything can go in there. And you know, I've seen like, at least two dicks on screen before you know, so. Yeah, it's stretchy like the vagina Unknown Speaker 29:42 like elastic pants. Whoo. Alice Vaughn 29:44 Now, if you are a butt stretcher, fair warning with stretching the signals to deprecate will become weaker and could cause accidents and leakage so I guess Don't be too intense or just be safe or smart. I don't know you do. You do. Bre Pruitt 30:00 It's my understanding you have to have a lot of non stretchy time downtime. Yeah, you take the elastic pants off so the elastic can rest. Natalia Reagan 30:08 Huh? I got it. I got it. This is a good way of putting it. Yeah. Let your butt breathe. Yeah, let your butt breathe. I am letting my butt breathe right now guys just want to let you know there was nothing currently up. Am I taking a break? I thought it was time. Bre Pruitt 30:24 That would be a great podcast that would be through podcasters are stretching their butt and the podcast is over when they need to stop. Natalia Reagan 30:31 Yeah, you guys my buddy needs to take a breath. It really needs Where do you think those Gatorade bottles just and I did like the beginning the very beginning of the film. Packer is getting arrested while he's getting accosted by that woman in the beginning. And there's that joke about she's trying to say his name and I never thought I'd hear Julia Louis Dreyfus his name and a porn before it you know, was such a good joke. Glenn Danzig, that was something I didn't expect to hear it In a porn parody before so these are just things I like to note that good writing the dialogue at the top was good. Yeah, it was good. I laughed. I was and it was not like a pity laugh. It was like I legit laugh. But Glenn Danzig, I was like, what Unknown Speaker 31:14 was good. Tina Fey, Bre Pruitt 31:16 for those of you who haven't seen it, there was like a back and forth at the beginning of the film. And it was like a bunch of nonsense names came out. And yeah, it was like, Oh, this is a these are cultural references that I share with the writer of this movie Who would have thought, I also thought that was very funny. I also wondered if that scene was so sharp because of cuts if it was very good editing or good acting, and I suspect it was good editing. Alice Vaughn 31:42 Props to the editor of the film Bre Pruitt 31:44 editors are kings and queens, especially with comedy, you know, it's really got a pop. There's a rhythm to it. And the first scene that movie really, really got the comedy of it. That's when you knew what you were watching man. Natalia Reagan 31:55 So are you saying that if you were to watch a porn where they tried to joke about It failed miserably because they can't act. Would you be more turned on? Because the comedy fails? Bre Pruitt 32:05 No, nothing makes me softer than jokes that don't land. Natalia Reagan 32:09 Yeah, so a flat joke is just a flat Bre Pruitt 32:11 ass. Yeah, no one wants to fuck a comic who bombs, right. So yeah, they were really sharp off the top with dialogue. Yeah. And then I thought, Oh, dang, maybe the dialogue is gonna be good. And maybe I had to keep watching this. Natalia Reagan 32:24 And I thought yeah, I thought picker. quill was like the actor playing Chris props role, but he did a great job. I thought I thought he was a very onpoint Chris Pratt want to be I mean, he had a he was likable but not too likable. He was sexy enough. I mean, I wasn't premium on panties, but I was definitely you know, I thought it was an attractive, good picker clothes. Bre Pruitt 32:45 big shoes to fill. You know? Yeah, yeah. Chris Pratt is a straight up dreamboat and even like, the I think the toughest things for guys to get hot wise is like disheveled hot because it's so easy to slip into slob, especially Chris Pratt, who's a little on the donor side, you know, I mean, not for guardians of galaxy but previously and he's still hot a little bit, you know, like, thick and schlubby you know, but not a lot of men can can make that work you know, they haven't found out yet dad bought hot yeah the dadbod Yeah. So I think this guy did a fair job of bringing the likability in. Alice Vaughn 33:24 I mean, I still would have watched Guardians of the Galaxy if they had Chris Pratt in the body of Andy Dwyer would have been fine. Yeah, keep the personality of Andy Dwyer too. I Bre Pruitt 33:33 would have liked it more. I'll go yes with you. I'm a very I'm into thick I love fat people and I am dying to see a fat superhero and I heard that Octavia Spencer and Melissa McCarthy Murthy are coming out with a Superman movie. I'm so excited. Natalia Reagan 33:48 What Yeah, I saw pictures of it supposed to be you know pictures from on site and they look fantastic. I mean, the costumes three Captain Marvel s costumes are ready for it. Oh, yeah. But you Bre Pruitt 34:00 I take Andy Dwyer bot any day. Natalia Reagan 34:02 Yeah, I definitely prefer dadbod to ripped any day I've never I've never really been into shredded guys like nothing gets I just don't find a six pack well just a lot of time and energy that I feel like I don't know that's a lot of pressure that they're going to I feel like possibly put on me to be something as well and I'm just like I don't have that I don't like that at all but you know, especially guys that are very have sort of standards or think that their idea of beauty is in a box. My preference is something to hold on to always husband like to grab parts. If it's it's all hard. There's nothing wrong. Bre Pruitt 34:38 Yeah, I think that this guy this nardin's guy was despite being lean and mean, brought some likability in there. And he delivered dialog really good, which was appreciated. I will be honest with you guys. I did not see his dick or his body at all. I did not watch those parts of the movie. Alice Vaughn 34:54 We didn't ask you to to work. Bre Pruitt 34:56 But yeah, I mean, he seemed like the thing about that character, the star character is he's very, he's kind of slimy, you know, he's kind of like Bradley Cooper and every other movie where it's like this guy, you know? So that's already in there. Disney had a tough job of making this movie because all the Misfits are kind of bad guys that we like, for some reason, you know? Alice Vaughn 35:19 Yeah. So going back to the writing for a second because I know that you guys really like the back and forth in the beginning. I mean, for me, I feel like this movie brought for me the best come back to go suck a bag of dicks or go eat a bag of decks I have ever heard in my life. For the cracks character to say, why would she suck in an entire bag of dicks when one would be sufficient enough for her voracious dick. Hunger is the best line I am using. Absolutely, because I've been told multiple times to go suck a bag of dicks. Why when I just need one for my ferocious hunger? It was Bre Pruitt 35:55 excellent. Cracks writing, right. I mean, it's beautiful. You had to pick something that was like, you know, an unreasonable metaphor and crack says that's his bread and butter. Alice Vaughn 36:06 Yeah, he's so literal. Yeah. Now how much time do you guys think they spent on applying the body makeup? Because I know for the real one, David Bautista had to stand for five hours. Wow. While they applied body paint. How long do you think this took? I don't know. Bre Pruitt 36:20 His makeup seemed maybe the most intricate man and then probably you don't want to take it off. You think they shot it in one day? That's what I'm thinking Natalia Reagan 36:30 was a multi day shoot well, because he wasn't also you know that that was also a little disappointing. I figured he'd have a sex scene too. I thought it was a shoo in to have a threesome with him in the hora and star load but Bre Pruitt 36:43 she'd be like fuck me daddy. And he'd be like, um, you're not your father. Obviously my family is gone. You know? vegan character development for that character. I would love to see I was literal watch a whole movie of him being literal in like the world or or whatever. Alice Vaughn 37:01 Oh, that would be good. So the cracks character does in part to have a scene with Nebula so you get some blue on blue. Yeah. Although it's just it's such a very quick dialogue and a little bit of comedy and then it goes straight into mostly blow job for 90%. I didn't know what we were getting into with part two. So I was like, Guys, we're focusing on part one. Okay. Oh, thank you. You're welcome. My voracious Natalia Reagan 37:27 hunger for eating or sucking a bag of dicks was was completely satiated with part one. Exactly. I am. I'm good. The sex between them seemed kind of fast forwarded. I got a little bit of it. I liked it. I mean, but I switched from the little that I saw. But it yeah, it kind of just ended right there was abrupt. I would have liked a little bit maybe a cliffhanger, if you will. for part two. That's just my personal opinion. Or have you seen Alison the porn parodies after the credits having like, deleted For like Part Two or like, like a funny little teaser, because that would be Bre Pruitt 38:03 so fun in Grand Marvel a question that is no characteristic of the canon, you know, you got to come back with Nick Fury. Unknown Speaker 38:13 Ah, Alice Vaughn 38:15 oh, no, sorry, you're reminding me of the awful Avengers porn parody we saw Bre Pruitt 38:20 No. Was it a lot of Nick Fury? Alice Vaughn 38:23 I mean, we had Nick Fury, but it was just it was the writing was so bad. I see. I see you can't come back from that. Bre Pruitt 38:30 So this Guardians of the Galaxy, the writing is very good in your opinion. And the Avengers movie was very bad writing. Alice Vaughn 38:37 Let me put it this way. The level of effort is night and day. I'm not saying this is the best porn parody I've watched. We've definitely watched way more intricate ones but you know what they care they gave a shit got it. But so before going skipping all the way to the end. There are a few key moments I do want to mention. So let's talk about the disturbing raccoon masturbation scene. Cuz I couldn't sleep at night. I understand. So we have April O'Neil who they shrunk down to raccoon size for this and in this one time so after growing saves the team by engulfing them all in a protective clamshell, as one would, you know, actually maybe more porn stars aren't protective commercials and we just don't know it, huh? Natalia Reagan 39:24 Yeah, that explains a lot of the San Fernando Valley, the home of my people. That's where I grew up. I like when he said we are growing, which was I felt like a nice double entendre because they you know, I mean, I am growing. He's always saying he's growing as a dildo. That makes sense, but we are growing it was it was a tender moment. I thought, yeah, Bre Pruitt 39:39 very tender. I do think that the scale of the rakuen was very funny throughout. So like, you know, they use green screen technique, some acting techniques where rockets walking out of the room and all the actors look down at their feet like Oh, there she goes. But it's like the new you guys Seeing the trailer for the new movie cats that's coming out where you're like, Oh yeah, how big are the cats? Are they cat sized? Are they people sized? Are they somewhere in between? Because some places it feels like there's somewhere in between sometimes it seems like they're tiny, like mice. And that's how I felt like a pro Neil was this little rocket was like, and also I gotta tell you, this is like the worst mask I've ever seen. They could have got that mask. They could have gotten any mask. It looked like taxidermy. Dude, it was so bad. And then also for when the reveal comes when she takes off her fucking jumpsuit, and she's just a naked hottie under there with like, a mask line. You know, there was no blending. It's like when a girl does her makeup real intense and her face is orange and her neck is white. That's what it looks like Dude, we can have a hairy a completely hairy face and neck and then just perfectly not she didn't have hair under her armpits. You think a raccoon woman wouldn't have a full bush. It's ridiculous. Natalia Reagan 40:59 Yeah, no, I I definitely felt like it. I'm all about the suspension of disbelief for films that took it a little too far. Yeah When I didn't like is when she took rowing and put him in her mouth but you could tell that the mouth of the mask she'd go real deep to even get her mouth so it was just like Alice Vaughn 41:19 it was it was overwhelming to explain to our audience what happens is after growing sacrifices himself, he becomes baby growing. So essentially the size of an actual dildo and they CGI groin onto the dildo. I just didn't feel comfortable knowing we had baby till the Bre Pruitt 41:38 end he still was wooden. He still was wooden so all I could think about were splinters. You could definitely see that the accident that made grind very small also made him very smooth, which was convenient for the scene. Very convenient for this nardin's parody. Alice you would know Natalia Reagan 41:56 this. Tell me do you want to I don't know. I'm Wooden dildos I mean isn't like the wooden teeth of Washington, George Washington. I mean, there's got to be windows I mean, yeah, I mean, broom handle. Alice Vaughn 42:11 We also have a Patreon and I kid you not who carved us a wooden bed pluck. Oh, Bre Pruitt 42:17 yeah. Amazing. It's fantastic. I think petrified wood would make a lovely dildo. It's and that's technically rock, I think but the sediments have come in and yeah, I know it said it cuz the only thing I would think of is also how dirty wouldn't any like a wooden surface absorbs oftentimes, you know, it can get dirtier than say like a stainless steel table. It could be the kind of thing though like Natalia I listened to this podcast about how this like convent was making cheese in these old wood barrels. And the bacteria was like beautiful and like the cheese was renowned and like the health inspector was like no the bacteria This is bad and they're like okay, but the wood barrels it doesn't make anyone sick. Then they started using the stainless steel barrels and people started getting sick because something in the world It like the bacteria It was a bacteria it was a good bacteria and it balanced it all out, you know, so maybe a wooden dildo would be actually like a vaginal cleaning. Natalia Reagan 43:09 Oh, that we would get Jen Gunter on our butts though. Bre Pruitt 43:14 Well, it's one whole only maybe do you Natalia Reagan 43:16 know Jen Gunter? No. Oh, she's great she if you ever get a chance she's on very active on Twitter. She just wrote the vagina Bible, but she you know, there's all these like, put a jade egg in your vagina and she's just like, stop don't like, stop. You don't need like it cleans itself. It's okay. But yeah, I do wonder what a wouldn't dildo would do in terms of long term. Alice Vaughn 43:39 So that said, I decided to Google what Intel dos. Oh, and I have stumbled onto a treasure trove of information will go on. So for example, did you know that you're not supposed to by the way if you choose to decide to make your own custom wedding tilde? Oh, don't stain the dildo? Apparently you're not supposed to have it stained or varnished at all. Oh, Yeah, you want a natural finish? I assume it's just a lot of sanding to smooth out any rough spots, sharp edges a lot of sand. But basically they use something called a salad bowl finish which is food great safe but not an oil. That is something I need to learn what that is Wait wait you are supposed to use oil Bre Pruitt 44:20 it No it's a finished called a salad bowl finished like some sort of lacquer or something like that sealant. Yeah, if it was like a like I have a bamboo cutting board right? You got to seal it with oil, but you it's just kind of an oil treatment and you know just keeps the wood from splintering off and stuff like that. Alice Vaughn 44:40 It is some kind of a finish though because if there's no finish on it, then moisture will cause it to apparently splinter over time. Yeah. So what I think we're trying to say is if you're investing in a wooden dildo or bud plug, do your homework and because this sounds intense and complicated, do your homework you Bre Pruitt 44:57 would fuckers Yeah. You would you dender feely x Unknown Speaker 45:03 gender fuel Natalia Reagan 45:06 means tree lover some people hug trees other people fuck them you know i mean it's I do not judge it's all about the earth baby branch out. branch out and leave those blasted leaves behind leave your expectations Bre Pruitt 45:19 at the door Natalia Reagan 45:21 get to the root of the matter. Wow oh yeah it's bad it's exactly you are a teacher put a ring on it Oh yeah, I know it's Yeah, Unknown Speaker 45:32 it's really bad. Like for students Alice Vaughn 45:34 I wouldn't believe this if it wasn't happening. Natalia Reagan 45:39 I like to make root jokes because in Prospect Park, there's this weird tree structure that is like a clean cut group. It literally looks like a giant you know, I call him Greg fruits, you know, clean cut cousin that has a good 401k and pension package but Amanda group was a fan of growing Alice Vaughn 45:59 so Team saves the universe in a very simple fashion so apparently bone and gets on the ship. He gets the Infinity bone. raccoon decides to start humping bone in his leg. She drops the Infinity bone. Packer quill grabs the Infinity bone, but he can't handle the bone. So what how do they resolve this guy? Natalia Reagan 46:20 You know, sometimes you just got to put a hand on somebody's crotch. And basically, they absorbed the power while pecker was holding it and it was very unwieldy. This infinity bone and it was the power was so intense. I don't exactly understand it. What exactly it was doing, but it was causing very whole like very well I was like hot potato hard to hold. So he shared the pain and perhaps some of the pleasure with good hora and cracks and yeah, they just grabbed on to basically the horas vaccine and held on tight Yeah, I like that Crux very Matter of fact, he offered to grab stern loads crotch and he was Like No, I think it's better if you grab onto the horse. So I thought for a second we were going to see some guy on guy and I was I got a little a little excited, because I like it when they mix it up and they surprise me. But alas, that was not was not Alice Vaughn 47:18 too much Bre Pruitt 47:20 to push in the envelope for the nard fans. They want the girl on guy action. I think that there was an opportunity for a group seksyen you know, and they took it, you know, because it was pretty much ready to go there in the original film. You know, the group can only handle the power of the bone with all of their powers combined. Voltron every kind of superhero movie that's a team. That's what it ends with. Right? I couldn't do it alone. could only do it with all of our powers combined Power Rangers, Marvel Avengers Pauly Shore. Yeah, Paulie. Short names as a team in the army now. No, I definitely feel like there's always Natalia Reagan 48:03 that moment where it's like the protagonist is like I can do it without you and then walks away and then realize is no, I needed my team. And he didn't have quite as fast break. Yeah, a good act break to sort of come back and do it together. Bre Pruitt 48:18 It was a great moment of coming together coming together. Natalia Reagan 48:23 Yeah, I was a little disappointed that they didn't finish out with with cracks, but that's, you know, maybe they just really wanted to build up that very long and explosive blow job for part two. But yeah, I enjoyed it. You've seen far more than I have Alice but porn parodies that really sucked a bag of dicks. And this one was, Alice Vaughn 48:43 this one was okay, I would say. I mean, if you're someone who wants to watch Guardians of the Galaxy porn parody, I would say this is one of them. Probably the only Natalia Reagan 48:51 one there was the song they did the remake of hooked on a feeling by blue sweet. That was fantastic. Their new take on hooked on a feeling Just on a ceiling Alice Vaughn 49:02 very hard to clean very hard Natalia Reagan 49:05 in space no one can hear you cream whoo I thought the production value on that song was better than a lot of the movie I mean in terms of, of nailing it it I think it's instead of Ooga Chaka it's like Ooga fucka or something you know, it's it's got a nice little spin on mixed feeling, which is such a feel good song. Alice Vaughn 49:25 Did you know that the film's soundtrack awesome mix Volume One was the first film soundtrack to make it to number one on the Billboard charts without a single original song. Wow. Bre Pruitt 49:33 It's a very good soundtrack. Yeah, Natalia Reagan 49:37 that's impressive. I feel like yeah, growing up, Forrest Gump was a huge sound jack and Boogie Nights for me. And they all were none I don't think either of those had an original song on them. They all were like Boogie Nights was fantastic. And it was all older, late 70s sort of porn ish sounding song. So yeah, Bre Pruitt 49:58 you know, get into that song parody. It's Like, if you're making a movie like guardians, you know, it's this parody. The budget is so important. It's like, Where are you spending your money? You know, where are you really going to see it? You know, and I bet they spent a ton of money on CGI, that stuff is so expensive, and it looks so bad. Like it's so hard to make that stuff look good. Like the or they didn't spend it on like the mask, they probably spent a lot of money on makeup. They probably spent a lot of money on. Yeah, because it was so much makeup. It was so detailed. It was head to toe for some people, you know, and I got to assume that they spent a lot of money on that song parody because it was really good. It sounded like a decent production value. And it had the qualities of the song that you needed to kind of create that world where Yeah, what is it about hooked on a feeling it's that it starts with the like, guttural chanting it sounds kind of like exotic and, and farflung and that's what the beginning of that movie is about. It's like adventure and stuff and heart and it was perfect. It was really Good it kind of got me excited for the movie like the way an opening song is supposed to go what a world where a porn parody is that's what I'm saying they really did a good job of like like mirroring shots that had you know a dynamic look like the lineup you know, and picking their moments to spend money on like a good song and a CGI tree calm explosion. I'll tell you what the com explosion they didn't spend a lot of money on. There was just some no bomb on the ground. Like we're supposed to think that's come you think your audience doesn't know what camo looks like? Alright guys, come on. Come on. What are we doing here? Right. Come Come on. Natalia Reagan 51:37 Lee mon is right. Bre Pruitt 51:39 Don't come on my hair and tell me it's raining. Alice Vaughn 51:43 No, it's just a protective shield. I see. Bre Pruitt 51:47 It was like I was also envisioning like a crusty come bubble. Not like a like a liquid come can protect anyone. And also, let's just be clear, man, this is another man. If anybody was gonna say it would be That protective shell of a vagina not accom bubble comm does not protect anyone it's not helpful stop making your column seem important to us it's not yeah Natalia Reagan 52:09 they would calls you know like saying you know grow a pair it's like no those things are outside the grow some ovaries inside the body can take a pounding and like you know the the no and also hot as balls not a correct because they're outside the body so your testicles Bre Pruitt 52:23 are vulnerable and wussy is what your testicles are. I don't want to grow anything as vulnerable as a sack. Mm hmm. Yeah. Natalia you're right now I know right when you tell people off after that I Unknown Speaker 52:37 actually you guys don't tell Bre Pruitt 52:39 me to grow a pair balls are not fit for tough conditions. They're like, sperm quality of human male is is bunk. Honestly, they have bunk spunk. Natalia Reagan 52:49 It's inferior to many. Yeah, chimpanzees have really great a spunk like they and narrow jackets contain far more sperm than ours do but our human sperm is pretty darn lame like they have like, you know, double tails swimming in circles things like that. Just don't be Don't be sperm, but chimpanzees man, Unknown Speaker 53:11 chef's kiss. Natalia Reagan 53:13 That's not because I want to have sex with a chimpanzee. I'm just saying they have very Bre Pruitt 53:16 and you're an appreciator of the game. I am Natalia Reagan 53:20 a very large testes to compared to us humans but I also did in terms of the music I definitely don't want to miss pointing out that when they were making the Julio I can't say her name Julia Louis Dreyfus she's such a fantastic actress I don't worry Alice Vaughn 53:35 you'll get it by the time we do the V porn parent There you go. Natalia Reagan 53:38 Awesome. When is that gonna happen because that shit. But she so they're making references to her and then of course they make a Seinfeld reference and they do a great bad, good version of a Seinfeld base intro It was fantastic. So I just definitely want to give a shout out to that lovely moment. Good job music focused job Bre Pruitt 53:59 that actress Yeah, sure. satis she's funny. Alice Vaughn 54:02 Yeah, Tabitha Stephens well done tab. I've seen her before and a couple ones I yeah, my favorite so far that she's been in is Linda being Linda in Bob's boners. Unknown Speaker 54:13 Oh my god. Bre Pruitt 54:16 Do you think an adult film star comes to set? And if she doesn't have to fuck, she's like, Oh, well, like, is she stoked? Or is she like, oh, what am I even doing here? You know what I mean? Like, if I were called to set and I was I was not making any jokes, it would feel weird. I would be like, am I even gonna get paid for this? You know? Alice Vaughn 54:38 Well, what's interesting is we've had like, for example, my friend Kate Kennedy will go on set sometimes, and she'll be asked to do readings. So you know how, like in the beginning of porn, they'll say, he was my mom's yoga teacher. And I always Yeah, whatever. So she will do those types of readings and she'll just knock out a bunch. That's fun. And she'll get paid for I love it Bre Pruitt 55:01 that would be great if she needs help. I know I was just gonna say that if you have any listeners in the industry please call me I am available to read any smut you want for just as many dollars as you're willing to give me Unknown Speaker 55:14 I'm a big Smut Peddler. So I you're Alice Vaughn 55:16 in the LA or Portland area, LA. Oh, so yeah, you're in a small area. I'm near the industry. Considering we actually might have a couple that listen to this, Bri hire please do Bre Pruitt 55:31 I have excellent diction? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. My diction is so hard and off the charts. Alice Vaughn 55:40 Bree where can our listeners find more of you or see you? Bre Pruitt 55:43 Ah, well, thank you for asking at Bri prewett across all platforms that's free with an eye and prove it with an E TT. I just wrote an article for Playboy magazine which you can read words not pictures. And it's strictly for my mind is what Playboy magazine wanted, but I also in Los Angeles you can see me every week. Friday I run a show called faded and then once a month I run a show called High Priestess. That's a tarot card, cannabis and comedy show and we also have a podcast and you can get all those details at high priestess calm no High Priestess comedy calm sweet. So Alice Vaughn 56:19 how does that work terror ID cards and pod and comedy Bre Pruitt 56:23 we should stand up show we encourage the audience to get high if they want to. They can also like we've done it on in backyards under the full moon and usually it's it's just like a it's like a great group and people get high and drink and we sometimes have weed sponsors. So we've had edible sponsors, and the audience is just like, Oh, it's just like so happy and vibrating and like the comedian's love it and then we have a tarot card reader who does tarot cards after the show. Sometimes we do a little chanting and spell work. It's just uh, you know, we're a couple of La witches and that's the kind of show we wanted to see. And so we just started doing it and it's been about two years now. Now we have a spin off show in Austin. You Go see High Priestess, Austin or an LA or you can listen to podcast if you're somewhere else. And if you're if you're a witch, it might be with you. Alice Vaughn 57:07 Yeah. Cool. So I'll link to that in the show notes. So if you guys are in the LA area or just want to listen to Bri you can do that. So before we jump to the very, very end, so we do have some patrons too. Thanks. So this week we want to think aid in ferrets stock Bethany Nicole Andrew gore bob dole Bob Cole Brent, Brian gauti, Carl Christie, Chris cafaro, Craig Elliott, Elisa, Eric h Falco hyping 404 Dale stringham Howard Lee Polish I can make it in Australia Joshua rice, Kyle Washington Kevin bounty long aid when Michael get Mike sorbets, ko priests pilot Wendy Cornwall and many many many others. And if you also want to become a patron yourself head over to patreon.com slash to girls on make or just to girls on Mike calm and hit the donate button. You help with editing and hosting and all the expense so we need to get this up and running to you guys every week. And Natalia, where can our listeners find more of you? Natalia Reagan 58:03 Well, Alice, if you want to find me on Twitter, I'm at Natalia 13th. Reagan. I also host podcasts for Neil deGrasse Tyson's all stars. So the show is no longer going but if you want to hear backlogs of me talking about Neanderthal nookie and what makes us human and teeth and and space, you know, black holes and dark matter and all that kind of stuff can find me on Star talk, Instagram and Italia 13. Reagan and yeah, you could also see updates on shows. So right now I don't have a regular show, but there'll be some coming up Alice Vaughn 58:33 cool. And you guys can find me on Twitter at rational blonde or on the T GLM podcast, Twitter, also next week, so we will see you next week guys. Thanks for tuning in. Bye Transcribed by https://otter.ai

13 Marras 201958min

Alice & guest co-host Kate Kennedy (@KateKennedyxxx) joined by the internet's gynecologist, Jen Gunter (@DrJenGunter) to dispel all vaginal myths: vaginal steaming, weights, discharge, squirting, abortion, birth control, and more! Snag the Vagina Bible  Support us on Patreon

6 Marras 20191h 1min

A long time ago, in a city far, far away, Alice and guest host Natalia Reagan are joined by John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) to review a porn parody no nerd has ever thought of before...Star Wars.   Support us on Patreon for more episodes   Alice Vaughn 0:09 Welcome to Two girls with Mic the podcast that firmly believes hand jobs that come from girls who speak sign language count as blow jobs. I'm your co host Alice Vaughn. event is still on medical leave. So I have my beautiful guest host, Natalia Reagan, Natalia How you doing today? Natalia Reagan 0:25 I'm doing fantastic. Thanks for having me out again. It's always a pleasure, especially with you Alice, Alice Vaughn 0:30 how do you feel about a sign language? blowjobs Natalia Reagan 0:34 You know, I'm very proficient in American Sign Language only in blowjobs though, unfortunately, it's all I know. And then the guy love you sign and then also the shocker. The shocker is also a popular that's that's part of sign language correct now, yes. Did Alice Vaughn 0:47 Coco the gorilla know that fun? I don't think so. I don't think she was aware. John Fugelsang 0:51 I do a whole bid my act where I teach the audience how to curse in American Sign Language because I get a government grant if it's educational. So I do Oh, yeah. And they have all the curse words like, I'm always like when deaf kids curse like they get their hands washed out with so I don't know what they do. But what matters is all of the curse words are there and they're even more colorful in ASL. Natalia Reagan 1:11 I wish this was a visual show because I feel like we could be learning so much more, especially when they come up with new words. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. How does that huh? How does Netflix and chill translate to ASL? There just be a lot of this or that's more fisting. But you know, next. Yeah, that's not so chill. Honestly, that's a little bit taking it four steps to forward John Fugelsang 1:33 for those listening, which is everyone. Natalia just did a hand gesture and flying fisting. Yeah, for the podcast. Natalia Reagan 1:39 That's actually when I used to play jeopardy. That's how I would remember answers. For some reason I would I'd always blank out but as soon as I would make that fisting motion, it would come to me. I don't I'm not a fan. I don't know why, but it just some sort of like visceral response. It's good to know what work Alex You're back. If Alice Vaughn 1:53 you have any thoughts, please share them with us. Audience if you have any thoughts about using fisting to remember stuff If you're not the only one, John Fugelsang 2:02 let us know. At least we know it works for Natalia. Natalia Reagan 2:07 I'm fun at trivia night. Let me just Oh John Fugelsang 2:08 yeah. I can't wait for your recovered memory. Yeah. Alice Vaughn 2:13 Considering I'm on a league, you are now officially invited. Okay. Thank you. Fantastic. And a third voice you guys are hearing today is john fugle. Sang from Sirius XM. Tell me everything. JOHN, thank you for joining our little podcast. John Fugelsang 2:26 That's really a delight I completely enjoy and and bewildered by what you do. And I'm honored and thrilled and sheepish to be here. Natalia Reagan 2:34 Oh, good. Can we call you john fuel wing for the duration of the show? You know that it's my favorite nickname of You know John Fugelsang 2:39 what, there's so many ways to make fun of my name, which begins with fpu if that's as creative as you can get. Nathan Lane once said that my name was German for a large apparatus. And his publicist wouldn't let me use the quote. I was crushed. Oh, that's deeply disappointing. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, there's a lot of ways. So Mike, go ahead. You were saying there's many, many ways you Natalia Reagan 2:58 go bang, bang. I mean, there's that There's a lot you can do I just have considering the content of the podcast, I felt like it was appropriate. John Fugelsang 3:06 It's a nerdy name for a nerdy kid. And that's why when you asked me to pick a movie, I was like, I will admit, I came to this with a real prejudice because I felt as someone who was alive in the 80s, that comedy ruins porn almost as much as synthesizers in that decade. And so I came to this with a real negative connotation. But when you asked me to pick a film, and I was like, I don't know, I've avoided porn parodies for many, many years. Like, is there anything for Star Wars or the Godfather? And y'all told me there is one for Star Wars and I think that's so great. They're doing Star Wars, porn parodies, because that's a way to introduce young men who are into sci fi and fantasy to porn. So now they'll be gateway. Natalia Reagan 3:47 Exactly. This is their gateway film. Not like they need more, but they do. They absolutely do. Alice Vaughn 3:54 I mean, if you are a huge sci fi nerd and you've never watched porn, I mean, seriously, you were disgraced to win sales. Natalia Reagan 4:00 Right. I feel like that's how they get all their information honestly is just through I wish they were porn parodies because anyone have a sense of humor on top of it right? I mean, I feel like that's the problem is they just have the burning need to have non consensual sex but without the sense of humor don't realize how wrong John Fugelsang 4:16 that is. And they really should stop when I was a young nerd like an incel meant you were afraid of women, not that you also despise them and wanted to punish them for enjoying their sexuality in cells have really gone off the rails in my opinion. Mm hmm. Alice Vaughn 4:28 And I completely agree with you. Unfortunately, that what it takes for someone to become an insult is just a lot of horrible interactions. Unfortunately, I know that we had Nina Hartley on the show and during which she discussed that she feels bad for insults, and I frankly, don't blame her. I mean, aside from the horrific misogyny and terrible things they say, if you peel back the layer of this shitty onion if you work with me on this, get there how you become a damaged person. Not fun John Fugelsang 4:59 Look, men cannot control the way they feel. They can control the way they behave. So like, you know, it's one thing to be lonely to be rejected by women. But like I come from a time when that man you either had to get good at dancing or have a sense of humor. And I didn't know that just being a pig was an option all along. So I mean, jeez, I worked way too hard trying to learn how to talk to people and and listen them tell jokes. But to me, it's like if you're on line all day and living in your parents basement and watching porn and being a misogynist racist on the internet. What part of that is involuntary you are signing up for a celibate life of a five fingered orgy starring you and you alone and solo? right thank you respecting women and listening to women is the first step away from insell asshole them because you're signing up for it when you're being a misogynist. So I feel bad for them, but also only they can lift themselves out of it. Alice Vaughn 5:55 I agree. And that's the thing. Once you get into that mindset and you surround yourself with committee, immunity that's cheering you on? Yes and help because then you can easily come out of it until people start challenging you. John Fugelsang 6:08 Except that now we have names for it. Like when I was a young guy and new guys like this, it was just Oh, is this how it is? This is how guys you're supposed to think. And I actually like labeling and things like in cells because it's going to make it harder for young men not pre determined to massage need to fall into that swamp. Natalia Reagan 6:24 Now an examples of how you can get out of it. I mean, there's plenty of examples of men that have lifted themselves out of it and found a way to not be complete Nutter John Fugelsang 6:32 asshats I just say guys, like the real thing is better than porn. I mean, good got nothing against porn. God bless. But you know, like take a dance class, take an improv class, find something you're good at. You know how many amazing women in their 30s and 40s and 50s are willing to lower their standards so much to have a date on a Friday and that I'm right here that's just la I'm talking of LA is like the mecca for lame guys like lame guy should bow to LA like it's Mecca five times a day and pray. That's where you will Braking low frequency dude bro losers can get incredible women with low self esteem and that's the good news and sales really. Natalia Reagan 7:08 I was born and raised in Los Angeles and unfortunately I can attest to what john is saying it is true. I have dated some lovely humans in my life, but let's just say my mom has scolded me many times for lowering the bar to a point where she herself was completely flabbergasted and disgusted. Yeah, yeah. So no, that's a red flag Central. But you know, just keep going. The red flags are almost like it's like your bowl and you just go for the Matador. You just kind of go for it. That's what I feel like LA is Alice Vaughn 7:36 all about No, I get it. I mean, you lowered the bar so much you just trip over it. Yes. Natalia Reagan 7:41 And trip on it. And God knows what falls on what so there you have it. John Fugelsang 7:45 No, I'm saying But again, it's not to say I'm anti porn at the same time. Like I'm very pro free expression pro erotica. I'm pro men watching porn that women write and direct and produce much less but I do shudder to think that there's an entire general of young men and young women who are going to learn everything they know about human sexuality from a couple of roid rage misogynists in the valley with crappy lighting who seemingly use the same floral bedspread for every film. Bad porn is also a bad sex ed teacher. And the fact is that not just our birth rates going down, but the rates of men having sex in every category, including high school have gone down, which tells me there's a lot of guys who would rather just stay home and watch the laptop that actually go out there. And Natalia Reagan 8:31 I don't think they would rather I don't think they know how that's I actually I was just talking about this the other day, a good friend of mine wrote a movie called where the Millers and there's a scene in that movie that eventually did not make the final cut, but it was a kid like you just mentioned that wanted so badly to have sex but he learned everything he did from porn. My friend and I, the screenwriter actually got in a fight because the line in the movie because this kid was so disillusioned about what sex was he just turned to his male mentor and said, I just want a girl that I can have dinner with and wants me to Come in her face, because he thought that that's what women wanted. And I had to explain to him it's not come in the face, it's come on the face. His name is john. And I was like, no, it's we had a fight for like a good two days about whether it was coming in the face or on the face, which I eventually won. But just that idea that I think there's kids that wanted but they just don't know how about go about getting it. And they're probably, and women too, if they don't know exactly how it's supposed to be done. And so there's just like, you know, square pegs and round holes, just not really working anymore, because it's not really a dialogue and nobody's teaching them you know, and Alice and I talked about this the other day, like, our parents aren't gonna sit us down and say, This is how you, you know, play with your clitoral, but like porn can teach you that, or, you know, better sex ed. I don't know I had a class called loving. I went to Catholic school need a class where Dr. Klein who was a 60 plus year old woman showing us how to put condoms on bananas, but also showing us where the interest was. And I remember being horrified. You know, because it's Catholic school, but she still thought it was important enough for us to know. John Fugelsang 9:56 There Anna was Mm hmm. Alice Vaughn 9:57 And that's a great thing about the show. We really do. Try normalizing and let's actually have conversations about sex and porn and what actually happens in porn. And I mean, we've had multiple guests in past episodes talk about everything that's fake you know everything from the acting the orgasms. Hey, she's not actually screaming because she's enjoying it. She has a leg cramp. She's been trying to get that for the past 20 minutes or the fact that I was telling Antalya this over lunch. But we've mentioned before on the show, that a lot of the shots are just fake. I mean, I'm sorry to disappoint most of you, but it's just moisturizer. John Fugelsang 10:33 I saw a documentary in Europe about how they do that with a turkey based or off camera and yeah, I mean, at all, but to me, that's another side of the the dark side of this if aliens landed on earth and watched our porn, they would logically conclude that human females can see through the chin. Unknown Speaker 10:53 Or the I Alice Vaughn 10:55 mean, there's and true monogamy is knowing just when to choke her without her telling you John Fugelsang 11:01 exactly well you only slap the ones you love. Natalia Reagan 11:04 God no on the donkey punches yeah no I feel like porn and also Photoshop. I mean, it's very similar in the fact that like you're getting a completely missed representation of what a person or what a thing is in terms of, of sexual intercourse because it's completely I mean well I don't know I can't speak for everyone sex life some people might have a completely every night is just a new porno. But for the most part, it's pretty mundane. I think especially after 1015 years of being together, you know, sure Alice Vaughn 11:30 everything maybe some people have been looking for love in all the wrong places. So Ah, yes, we have a porn to review today and it is Star Wars triple x the 2012 edition by Axel Braun. And I know what you guys are thinking of Star Wars porn. Yes. Finally we got to Star Wars. By the way. I'm so excited because I grew up I love Star Wars. I actually have some original Star Wars film sells next to me on a table because I love Star Wars Episode Four that much. Wow. Natalia Reagan 12:01 Yes, I'm wearing Star Wars underoos right now I shouldn't I should let you John Fugelsang 12:04 both know that I'm raising a small boy in second grade. We know what religion we're raising him in. He actually got a children's Bible from his grandma, where Jesus said, Everyone is Caucasian, and I'm done with that. And he came in one day and said, Jesus turned water to wine with the force. And I did not correct him. Yeah. And I'm also proud to have had a lot of, you know, performers from the films on my radio show, and I've known Mark Hamill for years. And he's a great guy. And I mean, I'm part of a generation that was a little boy when the first one came out. And it really became, in many ways our religion for a generation of young men. Then in the prequels George Lucas made us all atheist again, but But still, the programming stays with you and for me as a kid, like my parents, were ex clergy, right? I saw the whole Darth Vader Luke Skywalker thing really reflecting in a much more acute way the God and Jesus thing not to get too lofty, but you know, like, the father is a lot more powerful, but the son is not An incredible dick. So like, for I think for a whole generation of young people, we learn to understand religion and even myth from the Star Wars films when Yoda says luminous beings are we not this crude matter? That was the first time I understood the human soul. So like I'm down with it, and that's why I came to a porn parody. A little terrified, like, would they ruin Star Wars? Would it be people who didn't appreciate Star Wars who were making this and just making fun of it? Alice Vaughn 13:24 I love Zack and Miri Make a Porno. And I always wanted to see Seth Rogen, ill fated Star Wars. So I'm just so glad to know that four years later, you know, Axel Braun blessed us and basically picked up where he left off and I have to say, my gut reaction to this is I loved it. This by the way itself one, I believe seven avian awards, six x v. v IDs and an award from exercise zero. So that's our direction Best Screenplay Best Director, an xR co for best parody and a VPN for best parody and an XPS for parody released to the year kill us. Lot of awards. I mean, I don't think the Peewee Herman film that I saw one as many and that was really good. Natalia Reagan 14:07 Yeah, I mean, when I first watched it, I didn't find it because I'm so used to have Mel Brooks his version of what a parody is and I felt like there was so many missed opportunities because they felt like they weren't quite parroting it they're almost doing like a shot for shot remake of it but giving it some comedic spins because it was they didn't change the names. I felt like there were so many missed opportunities with like screw Baka, and Han Solo I mean layers just layer that makes sense, but there's just so many things that could have done but they definitely wanted to stay It was almost as if somebody saw it like john saw it as like a religious experience. So they didn't want to tinker with it too much, but I expected John Fugelsang 14:42 it to be blasphemy, you know, like I expected it to be what surprised me the most about it beyond the fact that there's a whole lot of incest and bestiality if you want to be objective with this. Alice Vaughn 14:52 Yeah, and the most terrifying Chewbacca you've ever seen in your life. John Fugelsang 14:55 Yeah, and the racial politics are kind of as if he is the first Star Wars but Yeah, what surprised me the most was that this was clearly a parody. And again, I don't like porn parodies, something I'm morally opposed to. I was so impressed in the beginning how, like, in the first five minutes, someone mentions Admiral Thrawn, who's from the books, never in a film and he's on Star Wars Rebels, the animated series. And I thought, whoa, real fans made this. And what surprised me was, it wasn't about denigrating Star Wars. It was about copying it, remaking it. And the guy who plays Luke is astonishing with the voice. And yeah, a lot of it's like, played for laughs and there's some things in here were really problematic, but like, first I couldn't believe a How are these people not sued? I mean, like, I know, but I was like, holy crap. is George Lucas being ripped off like I've never worried about his finances in a very long time. But I mean, the ships are the same. I mean, Darth Vader's Darth Vader, his costumes almost completely the same. They literally play the Imperial March. I don't know how they got away with that with the music. That's total Natalia Reagan 15:58 canteen. Yeah. The campaign was slightly different the tune but not John Fugelsang 16:02 much, but I could tell they they love it and for all the problems I had with it, and I have several, I was amazed by the budget. And I was just kind of moved by how clearly these people really know Star Wars. They know that dialogue inside out. There's direct lines of dialogue, where they put in jokes, and these are lines I've heard hundreds of times in my life, but I never, I mean, they have a running gag in the last act of the film, where they're all more or less doing the same exact joke like I bet you say that to all the men winds up being really funny and really clever how they find unexpected humor in the dialogue we all love. I can tell it was made by fans and awesome schlock guys who just wanted to make a buck off it. Alice Vaughn 16:41 And we've seen a fair amount of porn parodies on this show, but I've never seen one that essentially recreate something shot for shot. I think the closest GM is the peewee one. But this one is just it's so mind blowing how much of the original script that they integrated into this. There was times I felt Like I was watching fan fiction instead of a porn until a blowjob scene came on. Yeah. Natalia Reagan 17:07 There were a couple that just the sex scenes just sort of Wait Wait, what? How did you know in the canteen? I was like, hold up what's going on? Who did weren't okay cool? Fine. You got to find space somewhere. John Fugelsang 17:17 I think all the Intel's who wanted to remake the last Jedi finally have the platform where that can be pulled off effectively. But yeah, and and again, I know we're not supposed to watch the sex scenes I skipped through most of them. But there's a couple of like, really kind of weird and problematic things that this film does that if you were a Star Wars fan, you realize Whoo, really not cool. Yeah. Alice Vaughn 17:35 Which ones are you talking about? Because I just couldn't help but continue watching the entire Chewbacca threesome because he kept growing and I have stories about why that one's even more interesting. But tell me which ones that John Fugelsang 17:48 you're seeing really made me understand that I'm going to the wrong three parties. I mean, I've got a Craigslist I lost the whole community because my furry parties are nothing like what this guy goes through. Okay. Really quick, Leah has sex with her father and brother. It's not Oh, yeah, mentioned that way. But that's what you're getting into. Natalia Reagan 18:06 In the beginning when there's have a scroll up, they cross out something I believe it says father. John Fugelsang 18:10 Yes. I mean, like, Natalia Reagan 18:11 they're trying so hard. But like, I remember watching this and when she started playing with herself, and I thought, Oh, god, no, no dad, daughter, no, don't like this. And then he pulls out his huge black hawk. And I thought, well, maybe there, it's an adopted situate. I'm trying to like rationalize. And then exactly John Fugelsang 18:31 what's the problem with the first Star Wars film? There's nobody, like one black guy in the background instead of waiting for the whole movie. And like, it's interesting, because the film is more progressive in many ways. Unlike George Lucas, they have female pilots in the new hope things like that. But beginning and I thought, how are they going to do a porn parody of a movie that just has one female character the entire time? Turns out ancillary women get a workout but I'm the one black guy, you know, there were no African Americans in Star Wars. So he made Lando and Lando is a terrific actor. Empire Strikes Back and delete Williams has played him on the animated shows too. But the only African American here it's like a different kind of exploitation. We talk about African American men exploited for the male, Caucasian gaze as sex objects, just like women in porn if you want to get academic about it, but here there's one black guy, he's wearing a Darth Vader costume and only one part of him ever comes out to reveal that he's black. Well, Alice Vaughn 19:24 in Episode Four, we're not going to see any other part of Vader. So that's true. Natalia Reagan 19:28 We didn't see any other part of Chewbacca, but then again, in theory, he's not wearing a costume John Fugelsang 19:32 and go to buck has got a retractable Pinkie one. Natalia Reagan 19:35 Yeah, I wonder if he has a baculum I mean, if he is Park dog, this is a scientist in me. Yeah, so the penis bone is present in many mammals. Most non human primates have a baculum or a penis bone. JOHN, I can't speak for you. Most humans don't. I don't know if you have a baculum but in theory, she got John Fugelsang 19:53 so big. It's got a knee in it. Natalia Reagan 19:58 Fantastic. I heard that. No, that just inspired my Siri to go off. John Fugelsang 20:02 I know Siri, Alice Vaughn 20:03 to your point, john, you're right. The difficulty with turning Star Wars originally even into a porn is that there's really one central woman, Leah, and we're not counting and Peru because you know, although that scene would be pretty hot. It was a joke about John Fugelsang 20:17 that. Yeah. When Han says not many girls on the moisture farm, there's there's a lot of clever lines of this thing. Yeah. And also, I will say she looks a lot more like Daisy Ridley than Carrie Fisher, which made it a bit easier for me. Alice Vaughn 20:30 There you go. Yeah. Ellie Hayes looks really great as Leah so I don't know. I mean, I know it looks like Carrie Fisher's daughter, but I'll take it comes really close for porn. John Fugelsang 20:40 I agree. And again, the guy playing Luke is astonishing. He's got the boys down so well. Natalia Reagan 20:45 And the guy who played on looks like the new Han, I think very much. Alice Vaughn 20:49 Yeah, the guy who played Luke was Seth gamble. And he actually also played Deadpool which we reviewed recently. He killed it in Deadpool and killed it. He nailed that. Luke's wine Enos John Fugelsang 21:01 Yeah, and I will say you know as Obi Wan Allah Dennis lost the Best Supporting Actor, but this there'll be one wins best score. He was Alice Vaughn 21:10 Tom Byron's alcoholic Obi Wan is Natalia Reagan 21:14 really funny. Good. I just yeah, I loved the sand. Yeah, boning sand people left and right. She was fantastic. John Fugelsang 21:22 Be like, obviously over the top, gay stereotypical see threepio was really tacky and very 80s and really made me think I was gonna be watching a stupid film. And I'm glad that humor got better as it went on. Mm hmm. See, threepio was Alice Vaughn 21:33 also played by Shuji LaRue. Oh, yeah. So someone who historically has done a lot of work within the gay community so interesting. John Fugelsang 21:43 That makes it easier than the guy who plays Chewbacca is named dick Tibbles, and everything Alice Vaughn 21:48 that just feels right actually, for the sex scene where Chewbacca I feel like we should almost go a little bit scene by scene just so we can break down. Yes, we have so much to say about each scene. Maybe we should just start from the beginning. So in the beginning, we open with that CGI budget. I've never watched a movie that had so much CGI where I was just in awe. I mean, John Fugelsang 22:08 like I expected the worst. I expected it to be just like atrocious in the CGI. And I was kind of impressed that like, not just the comedy was better than expected, but the special effects were better than expected. Natalia Reagan 22:19 Yeah, yeah. I was expecting it to be stopmotion or some sort, you know, I mean, like, using models and things of that sort. That would have also been very funny, I think because I'm also a somebody who loves parody and like the absurd, that would have also been fine with me. But yeah, I think they did a very good job, just sort of, like yeah, and like shot for shot. John Fugelsang 22:36 I thought it was going to be like really, really just tacky, deliberately sloppy humor, and as it went on, I mean, I've never said this before about a porn parody, but I was so impressed with the dialogue. Right. Alice Vaughn 22:47 And you have fantastic dialogue between C threepio and artoo D two. And by the way, I was kind of in shock because in the credits and I think they listed this as a joke they listed Tommy Gunn famous porn actor. As playing r two D two. There is no sexy of our two D tos in this just to preface this for anyone who's going in, that was disappointing. John Fugelsang 23:12 There's a lot of interspecies relationships but not a lot of AI. Natalia Reagan 23:16 Also, I call it interspecies mingling. Alice Vaughn 23:19 So in the beginning, we have Vader who comes in, you know, he's even choking one of the people, you know, trying to interrogate him and accidentally breaks his neck. And I'm shocked that throughout this whole thing, we didn't have a Vader, you know, during, for example, the later sex scene between Vader in layout where you know, he's not trying to choke her or, yeah, choke me daddy. Opportunity didn't get that seriously. She could have said choke me Daddy, and that would have applied to someone someone would have loved that. John Fugelsang 23:47 That's for the sequel with Darth Rocco siffredi. Natalia Reagan 23:50 Yeah, Empire Strikes Back. Oh, if it doesn't already exists, it really should. Yeah, I also felt like there were missed opportunities with the cameltoe line. I'm just doing used to again like no Mel Brooks if you're gonna have a cameltoe there needs to be underwear with a printed cameltoe on it or something just because it's just like, okay, we get it. It's a cameltoe but, and I feel like the stormtroopers I called them foreign troopers just because it just felt, you know, like for going to have parody it. So I wrote my notes. But yeah, they're just a bunch of Valley girls, which is kind of ridiculous. And no, I mean, somewhat amusing. I felt, Alice Vaughn 24:22 but that's how you get more women into it. Natalia Reagan 24:24 Now you have to, but I kind of wanted to go see a little Dom a melon of them. We're just kind of like dumbed it. See, I'm a guy blinds like, I like a counter. That's cool. You know, I kind of wanted them to be very Butch and some having some books down characteristics that would have been fun. John Fugelsang 24:38 A lot of the women were almost attractive enough to be at an actual Comic Con, which I couldn't say 20 years ago, but mines where you realize how much they love the series like they talk about holocrons and this holocrons You only know about if you watch like the Star Wars animated show, and then you know when our two shows the hologram and he says wait, playback the entire message and threepio says Oh, no, the first taste is always free, like, so much really sharp wit in this thing, that it's rare. I say the comedy was better than the porn part. Natalia Reagan 25:08 Yeah, although I missed the missed opportunity for parsecs instead of parsecs. I did like the fact that he did correct him on the fact that parsecs is a measure of distance rather than time. Yeah, that was good. I felt like that was the Neil deGrasse Tyson, actually, you know, of the film of bringing in the science which you know, you don't necessarily expect from a pornographic film, John Fugelsang 25:30 a lot of it felt like like if I was at a Star Wars rocky harbour where people had been waiting the shout out for years, like when Luke says, but I was going to the Tashi stage to pick up some power converters and Uncle Owen just is like, take it easy, Luke, you're going to need your inhaler. Like a line that we've all laughed at for years to get in the last third of the movie. They do a gag, like it's so rare to find a good running gag in anything. But like when Leah says you came in that thing. You're braver than I thought solo says it I can see that the lots of guys. And then like later solo goes when he has the line. Sometimes I amaze even myself. She says, I bet you say that to lots of girls. And then in the end when solo says let's blow this again go home. Luke says I bet you say that to a lot of men. Like as a comedian I was applauding the running gag and and just playing that over and over again and finding three different parts in the last 10 minutes of the film where they could milk that Alice Vaughn 26:24 Yeah, my personal favorite was the running gag they had with the waiter and Jeff fader Unknown Speaker 26:28 Oh my god, the tray, the tray. Alice Vaughn 26:31 So there's a waiter who keeps coming in and interrupting the tray from the cantina trying to deliver food to Jeff fader. So Natalia Reagan 26:43 it's so stupid but great, Alice Vaughn 26:45 and it happens multiple times place throughout the film, and ultimately it culminates with, there's a fire in the kitchen and that's why the Deathstar ultimately explodes because it happens to be next to Unknown Speaker 26:57 the core reactor Of course, John Fugelsang 26:58 like every gopher I mean, by the way, the guy playing Tarkin gets no sex scenes and looks nothing like Peter Cushing. But he begged for it. Man, this guy like he did not treat this like a porn. They hired real actors to come in and do this. Alice Vaughn 27:14 Oh my god, yes. And they had some big stars also, who were just doing cameo. So I'm like, think, Wait, is that Tommy pistol and Ryan driller? What are they doing? And they have one line and they're gone. John Fugelsang 27:27 Yeah, I mean, you could tell there was a lot of affection for porn and for Star Wars and in that sense, I think it was designed to be watched over and over again by real fans. Natalia Reagan 27:36 It does remind me of I mean, again, I'm gonna keep bringing up Mel Brooks I do love that sort of attention to detail and watching a film five times and being like, I didn't even notice that I didn't even notice that I didn't even see this joke. I you know, it just they keep coming. They keep coming, which is good. I agree. You always want your pornos to keep coming. John Fugelsang 27:52 Ah, but I actually thought this movie was much more reference to Star Wars than Spaceballs was Spaceballs is making fun or worse. Was this film? Yeah, it's a parody, but like they treat it as holy scripture. There's inside jokes that only diehards are gonna get in this film. Mm hmm. I mean, Alice Vaughn 28:07 you never completely understand in the original wide was at the sand people ran off after Obi Wan made a weird sound. But now we understand because if a Jedi fucks you in the ass in sand, you're gonna run away because you don't want that to happen again. It answers so much. She seemed to enjoy it. I know she hissed at the end. Yeah. So many mixed message. Oh, so just shout out to the sound effects going on during the sex scene. So during the layer and Vader sex scene while she's going down on him, you have the Vader breath going on. For a solid five, six minutes. Then you have chewy growling tick. Cheers. throughout his entire scene you have his just during sand people oh and Cantina music playing in the background for three minutes 30 minutes of Cantina music? John Fugelsang 29:12 Yeah, and then a lot of it is like straight up. I mean, a lot of it's not parody. It's straight up john Williams gonna call his lawyer when he sees it. And there's a twilight girl sex scene which a lot of installs like myself have waited their entire adult lives for more than one example of interspecies Congress in this movie. Natalia Reagan 29:29 Yes, exactly. No, it definitely hinges on the line of much Sdlt much incest, but I love how they really went out of their way saying it's really nice that we're not related. It's so great. John Fugelsang 29:40 Yes, they I mean, they know it. It was all full of insight to that's what I found the most heartwarming about it was just the love of Star Wars and the source dialogue. Natalia Reagan 29:49 Absolutely. You knew that the buildup was going to happen and you knew that in the end laya was going to John Fugelsang 29:55 It was great. I can't wait to show it to my weekend. I can't wait Alice Vaughn 30:00 He will I found out that the second DVD of this film actually has the entire film which is running time of well over an hour, but minus all the sex scenes so you can't show it to him. John Fugelsang 30:12 Oh my god. Well, yeah. Oh, Natalia Reagan 30:14 really? Well, there are allusions to sex and sexual innuendo, but it's not that dirty it really it's not like fact the future where it's like cock brown you know, the names are just the names and, and the jokes are more innuendo than anything you know? I feel like like an Obi Wan I love Obi Wan as the comedic relief that to me is just was fantastic. I couldn't get enough of that. John Fugelsang 30:38 Talk Brown. Natalia Reagan 30:40 Oh, yeah, that john I in fact, the future let me just tell you I had not watched much porn parody. And then I watched that for my first episode on here. Oh, look at the kiters or John Fugelsang 30:50 I had to get up because I had a problem. I had a crisis with the dog in the corner and now the cat is just getting in the shot. Natalia Reagan 30:54 That's great. My cat was just trying to climb on me so we're we're all getting attacked. Yeah, but but The difference between this podcast and the film we just watched is we will not have sex with our pets. That's what oh god no, no, no, I would never never. Never do that. Never. I mean, I'm not gonna make that mistake again. I promise. Unknown Speaker 31:15 You shag one sheep John Fugelsang 31:17 with just one. Just one. Look, it got me out of the Air Force. What do you want, but I'd never Alice Vaughn 31:23 I find your lack of nudity disturbing. Natalia Reagan 31:26 Obi Wan drinking piss was pretty fantastic. That was pretty good. I just thought he was such a good comedic relief that I just couldn't get over how, although there was one point when he was talking about Luke's father and he called him a cunning warrior and I was very disappointed for not the follow up. Of You know, he didn't follow up with Well, how did my father die? Well, a young Jedi named Darth Vader who was a pupil of mine until I cut off his arm and left him in a river of lava lava. Unknown Speaker 31:59 It was was a great visual. Alice Vaughn 32:02 The only redeeming visual from the prequels. John Fugelsang 32:05 Actually, I would watch these if they remade the prequels this way. I mean, you can make the argument This is a porn film with better acting than much of the first superhero. Natalia Reagan 32:12 Oh my god. Oh, yeah, much better. I was very impressed with all the actors. You know. I mean, there's only a few times that I was like, come on, where do you walk in off the street? John Fugelsang 32:20 It's true. They weren't phoning it in. I mean, like they really, they really tried to make it a real movie. I think the fact that they have so much hubris, they'll release a cut with all the sex parts taken out shows how maybe a little too seriously, they took it. Natalia Reagan 32:33 Okay, guys, it's not that good. Yeah, John Fugelsang 32:35 not that good. Believe me. It's not It's not what I would call a good film Solo is a better use of your time to watch. But having said that, it's as a porn parody. It's miles I mean, and I'm a snob. So I haven't watched a porn parody since I was like 18 and was like, Oh, am I funny and not sexy. So I was just so impressed by the budget, the creativity. And again, the fact that they really really love the source material. I can't wait to see them. You know, do a porn parody of Lawrence of Arabia. That's all guys of mine bad example. But I can Natalia Reagan 33:04 probably, I mean, there probably is a porn parody, but it probably is all guys. That's true. Alice Vaughn 33:10 And that Natalia Reagan 33:11 would be just for a different audience. Yeah. John Fugelsang 33:12 Lawrence in Arabia or something. Yeah. Alice Vaughn 33:16 Now, I have to say speaking of solo, the one character that I wasn't impressed with was the casting for Han Solo. I felt Rocco Reed played like an okay Han Solo. I don't know if there's a porn equivalent of Harrison Ford out there somewhere. But it just felt a little flat to me for this film. So John Fugelsang 33:34 honestly, I agree with you. I felt like the guy playing Luke was a big fan of the original movie. I felt the guy playing Han Solo had seen the original movie, not for several years and just you know, played it based on memory. Alice Vaughn 33:46 I mean, Seth gamble not only nailed you know, like I mentioned before, no, wind Enos and even you know, to the point where he even makes which in retrospect makes so much reasonable sense of like, why is there no one warning label on a lightsaber before you hand it to someone. Yeah he Natalia Reagan 34:04 plays an affable sweet moron like just the biggest dum dum and in so well i mean but also still ridiculously hot so it's it he treads a fine line. Whereas Han Solo I felt like did not bring the same sort of swagger or you know, saltiness Yeah, that you need to be agree on. Mm hmm. Alice Vaughn 34:24 Now did Tribbles, though, so tell me more about well, I first encountered dick Tibbles in when we started covering I think the Wizard of Oz like way back in Episode Three last year. Was he the lion? No, he was out the tin man. Oh, he's John Fugelsang 34:42 been stiffed for a year. Hey. Natalia Reagan 34:46 Got a loop that guy up. Alice Vaughn 34:47 So fun fact about the costume and wasn't finished by the time they had Chewbacca sexy. So first off, how do we describe Chewbacca costume? It's, it looks like in I'm gonna butcher This dog name but like effin pinscher Oh yeah, Natalia Reagan 35:03 how do you say that dogs? I don't know but they're like it looks like a Brussels Griffin or something. I thought John Fugelsang 35:09 he looked like a rug with a glory hole. Alice Vaughn 35:11 Like an effin pincher fucked a big foot. Natalia Reagan 35:13 Pretty much. Yeah, he's very he's got a great Sasquatch thing going on, but his face j it looks like yeah, and half his picture. The pug is sort of face where it's all just sort of squished together. The blue eyes was a little jarring. And the braids on his chin, the braids, I almost felt like they should have had some flowers to them to kind of give him an added hipster thing. But this is 2012 perhaps too ahead of its time. You know, that would have been all too much. A man bun would have been really a gentle touch. Honestly, if we brought Chewbacca back, you know? Yeah, an IPA with a man bun some braids. Alice Vaughn 35:46 We could film the whole thing in Brooklyn and still be under budget. Oh dear. Natalia Reagan 35:51 We can do this. I know some people in Red Hook. We can make this happen. Alice Vaughn 35:55 Casting for a walks is easy. Everybody has John Fugelsang 35:57 dogs here. Right? That's a sub fetish of Furies Unknown Speaker 36:00 Oh dear God, oh no. He walks. Alice Vaughn 36:05 Since the costume wasn't finished in time for the sex scenes, do you know what they did to hold it together? No safety pens. Now, patrons of the show they've already listened. And they know this because one of the people that helped right and helped out on the film, we've had her on as a guest host, Alison McKnight gave us this little spoiler where she was on the set of filming this. And so they were using safety pins. And while he was on his back, they kept on clipping. So those safety pins were driving into his back so they had to keep cutting during the sex. And he had to keep popping little blue pills. So more and more blood thinners. So I Agra Yeah, to stay hard throughout the entire scene for like a solid hour and a half and that sex scene was only what 15 minutes long. Wow, Jesus. Did he bleed out? Did we lose him? Did we lose two triples? No. He's still around. Thankfully, oh my goodness. But I mean, this is a man who has dedicated himself that much to his craft that he will take this type of pain for you people. John Fugelsang 37:08 And he's like 52 like he's a seasoned porn star. Natalia Reagan 37:11 Oh, yeah. Yeah, no, I just thought my first thought when I when that scene started was I've worn a lot of costumes. That sounds bad, but I've allowed a lot of like Bigfoot costumes in my life. They're hot as hell so I just thought about how hot He must be under that costume while getting all the sex from all like those two different ladies every which way from Sunday so I just you know, more power to him and he's getting poked with pins or Yeah, you know so many poker things in I know. John Fugelsang 37:37 And what did he get out of it? Just you know, paycheck and sex with two hot women. I mean, really? Natalia Reagan 37:43 Hero hero right where John Fugelsang 37:45 he took one for the two for the team actually took Unknown Speaker 37:47 two he did happen. Natalia Reagan 37:51 Where is that man? I want to pat him on the back Alice Vaughn 37:53 said the only place you want to pat him. Unknown Speaker 37:55 No, I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I Natalia Reagan 37:59 think I've had my Fill of Big Foot eight. My life. I'm good. I've Yeah. Alice Vaughn 38:05 Any chance you still have any of those costumes? Because I do. Natalia Reagan 38:09 Well, Todd does. We have them at NYU, the big foot and the Eddie. Well, I have a gorilla costume back in LA. I have Alice Vaughn 38:15 some people who might be interested. Okay. John Fugelsang 38:19 They can use the Yeti when they make the wampa and the Empire blows back or whatever you call the strokes. Natalia Reagan 38:25 strokes back blows back is good. That's good. Yeah. Yeah, the Yeti would be a good time to a little bit. Yeah, it'd be good. Just rip it open. Just take a nap. And man, that's cool. What else? Did you have the tauntaun sleeping bag. That's what's something you should get your kid. John Fugelsang 38:38 Oh, okay. I'll get on that right away. Yeah, already got like a Kylo Ren sleeping bag. I've got so much I like old Star Wars sheets. I mean, we're definitely raising the kid in this religion. So it was very, very funny to watch the Star Wars thing I'll never watch with him. We're actually never because we're doing the cycle. Like the whole deal was to watch everything Star Wars up until episode nine comes out. So like we got through episode one and two and now We're in the middle of the Clone Wars series. And then we got three. And then we got so low then we have the whole rebel series. So we're giving us two months to do this. And it was like so weird to watch this particular movie in the middle of this Father, Son binge watch. Here to help you know what, it's something for the other hemisphere of my brain and I appreciated that. Natalia Reagan 39:22 Another thing I really liked was the bickering between Vader and the Emperor just going back and forth and just being wasn't at the Emperor. What's his name? Harken? John Fugelsang 39:31 Yeah, yeah, they gave Darth Vader one of the Emperor's lines like and one of the early scenes they they took an emperor line from Return of the Jedi and gave it to Darth Vader in this one. Like which one which was that I got to go back and watch it. It's in the scene where with the delivery guy, but I think there are so many easter eggs in here for you know, guys who like sci fi and porn. I assume there's some overlap and those Venn diagrams. Natalia Reagan 39:54 I'd be shocked to find anything. Yeah, I'm interested in what the casting was like and how people probably were campaigning to get roles cuz like you said, Alice, there are so many porn stars that have very small cameos. Like, I wonder if it was like the guy. And there's so many actors in it that I'm pretty sure not porn stars, and you just kind of wonder how they got there, you know, because this is something that you know, is gonna do well, if it's the first Star Wars parody in 2012. John Fugelsang 40:19 You know, like, I don't know how porn makes money anymore. Like, I don't know, where they got the budgets. I don't know how they didn't. Right. But like, this seemed like a film that was designed to have men buy it, not just watch five minutes of it on a website, but to actually pay for an entire download of a whole movie. Alice Vaughn 40:35 Yeah. So I know that on the second DVD, other than having the entire film without the sex scenes, I believe they also have table readings, from people trying to get the parts. That's funny. Yeah. And then they never do that in porn, John Fugelsang 40:46 the oral sex scenes because I'm sure not all of that was scripted. There's a lot of what I don't think was actually in the text, but I'd love to see that. Natalia Reagan 40:55 They're trying to think of how that looks written out. Yeah. Give me a minute. Alice Vaughn 41:01 So am I supposed to gargle or spit right now? I can't it's just it says God. It just says Natalia Reagan 41:08 like, what noise is that? That was a good Chewbacca Alice I really respect It's very nice. Alice Vaughn 41:13 Yeah, I was good. I wasn't even me trying Chewbacca. Oh God, do I do Chewbacca then when I'm nevermind, I'm trying to think of now that you do blue Baka. But a lot of these paradigms really don't have a lot of money anymore. And we've talked about this in detail, you know, the ones that do still have money to create parodies are like wood rocket that are now subsequently owned by Pornhub and sponsored by them to create the content and they get their money through ad rev and subscription sales rally, right. But most people don't pay for their porn and we highly encourage it, because how else are you going to give back any of this? John Fugelsang 41:47 Yeah, Hilton Hotels. I mean, I don't know how they make their money anymore. And I don't want targeted advertising to happen. So I mean, it's nice to see that they're actually making stuff designed to be sold as a two disc DVD set. Because I'm convinced I don't know how you look up the sales but I'm convinced is a lot of people who would own this because they like the artistry that went into the parity. Natalia Reagan 42:08 Sure, but unfortunately not a lot of people have DVD players anymore. John Fugelsang 42:11 That's also why No, that's true. By the way, I have 700 DVD porn, so if you guys want to know where I can unload these, but yeah. I don't know where the old porn goes. Where does the VHS porn gold? Is it just gonna dump? Was it in South America? Where's it migrate Natalia Reagan 42:27 there in my mom's closet right now my best friend gave me all his gay old gay porn VHS as a joke. He left it on my my doorstep. And it somehow ended up in my mom's closet. Yeah, John Fugelsang 42:38 there's like six old guys love all of the HS pour. And you're they're hoarding it. Alice Vaughn 42:42 Yeah, we send it to Cuba. John Fugelsang 42:44 That's probably it. It's in the third world and then you know, they're wondering why Americans all have big hair and pubic hair. They're watching 80s VHS porn. Natalia Reagan 42:51 That's why the bushes back. Why do they like the mustache? so much? So much mustache? Yeah, there's a lot of confusion of what we're into. No, Ira. I remember years ago I've told Alice the story but I worked on a movie with Ron Jeremy not that kind of movie. He was stunt casting in a film where he's supposed to play a puritanical producer and so I had to do his wardrobe but also cut out pictures and make them look like they're Family Photos cuz I didn't have Photoshop at the time it was like 2002 or three. And so I cut out pictures of his face from the back of porno and then glued them into family photos Unknown Speaker 43:28 in pre like frames, pictures of it. Natalia Reagan 43:31 And usually he was making you know, like some sort of Oh face. There's like one of my random jobs I've done through life and you know, I also do is wardrobe I had to get him a khaki pants and a lavender button up with a yellow sweater vest. Wow, that was an intense you know John Fugelsang 43:46 what I've seen Meryl Streep pull up a lot of roles. I've never seen her convince me that she was enjoying copulation with Ron Jeremy. That is my acting test. That's how I did that's that's it. Can you convince me that you are having a good time with Ron then I'll believe that You're I can't Alice Vaughn 44:00 as someone whose neck has been accidentally sucked by Ron Jeremy through a scarf. I want to clear. Yes. Okay. Yeah. It's very conflicting. So let me explain. John Fugelsang 44:13 Yeah, you just meet to me with a story. Alice Vaughn 44:17 So I didn't mean for it to happen because no one means for ron jeremy to suck on your neck. It's kind of like when you accidentally have like a mosquito bite you. It happens. It's there. You have to deal with the aftermath. I was at Exotica A few years ago, this was way pre porn parody. I saw ron jeremy I thought, hey, it would be fun to have a photo with him. My boyfriend's taking the photo. And as that's happening, Ron goes for the neck. And I don't know how he got past the scarf. But it's such a conflicting feeling. because number one, it feels great. And number two, it's like your grandmother sucking on your neck. So what do you do? You're very well hung grandmother? Yeah. Well, no, I mean, I knew Alice knows this, right. I know. to becoming friends with Ron and he, the reason why we stopped being friends is he wouldn't stop trying to fuck me. And I kept telling him No, no, please. No, I have a boyfriend. Can we just be friends? Please? He couldn't, just couldn't. It was like, Can I just be the one girl that you just don't have sex with? There's so many you do? Can I just be the token? John Fugelsang 45:18 Well, there's so many he doesn't. There's so many. If you ever been a public event with Ron, I get the pain behind his life because his whole life is having sex with stunning women who would never give him the time of day in a club. And when he's out in public, I've always noticed when I've been at events with him, and he's always been very kind to me. It's all young women coming up and going hedgehog, and he's know that all the time by women in the real world that having that said his body of work speaks for itself. And I find you know, male porn acting to be fascinating anyway, I mean, half of the actors who do gay porn identify as being straight, which tells me clearly, these are men who love the craft of Acting like I don't love it that much, but these guys that and when you're hetero guy, but you'll go there with Jeff Stryker, God bless you, man, you are Olivier to me. But in this case, it was really weird to be watching a porn movie where neither the comedy nor the acting nor the misogyny bothered me all that much. Alice Vaughn 46:19 I don't know if that stat is true where half of the people in gay porn aren't gay I'd love for the third to half of guy is gay for pay. Natalia Reagan 46:28 I just wonder if it's because of the stigma around coming out? Only because, you know, I think that sexuality is far more fluid than we've given it credit to being you know, and, and, John Fugelsang 46:40 and it can be I will venture to say, if you're having sex with men on camera, you're not worried about coming out. That's not something that holds you back. You're actually letting the world know in a very specific way. So I don't know. I mean, you know, we've heard stories of guys, I've read interviews with guys who wound up making all this money doing it and when you think about the fact that you Women get paid to do porn with men they wouldn't want to have sex with ordinarily, why is it shocking that men do the same thing. Alice Vaughn 47:05 I know that I had one of my guy friends who when I started doing this show told me that he did some cam work, and he's straight. And he was telling me that when he was doing cam work, eventually he switched over to doing gay camming because guys paid a lot better. Wow. Yeah. He just decided, you know what, I'm going to just do this. And it's for him. It was different because he wasn't interacting. But I mean, then again, also, if you enjoy having stuff up the bud doesn't mean you're gay. Just want to be clear. Yeah. Natalia Reagan 47:37 That's something that I mean, for a long time has been such a misunderstood concept that I think that because sex ed is not good in this country and no mom and dad is going to sit their kid down and be like, it's okay. If you want to stick your finger you know, like, nobody's gonna have that conversation and understandably so. So, you know, I think having those conversations or at least having science communicators or sex communicators talk about sex. in a way that's open and also talks about consent, because I also liked Actually, I don't want to jump too far ahead, but I mean, we're still talking about it, but at the very end, Alice Vaughn 48:09 just kind of covered, all right. Natalia Reagan 48:13 Leah gets her do with both Luke and Han. And Han actually waits for her consents, cuz she's like, what are you waiting for? And he was like, I was waiting for you to invite me and I was like, look at you go, get an all consente 2012 way before the knee to movement. I enjoyed that. But things like that, you know, that young men and women are not really taught, but also things like what are considered quote unquote, kinks, which are not really kinks. You know, they're actually just sort of preferences. They don't need to be stigmatized through Alice Vaughn 48:43 Yeah, what I love is and we're slowly but surely starting to incorporate this more important, I'd love to see it more and more, which is more consent talk. And I know it's not sexy, but I mean, a lot of these actors will have half hour two hour long conversations prior to shooting because they want Discuss with their scene partner. All right, what are you into? What are we doing? That's how you know they're transitioning from scene to scene to scene. They already know it's not they're reading each other's minds. But on top of that, you want to know, okay, well, maybe I'm into choking. Alright, well, maybe this actors going to choke to heart, maybe let's pass on that this time around, and whatnot. And that's what you don't see in a lot of the post production. And that's cut out because it's just, you know, not interesting. not as sexy. Yeah, but what I like is, you know, slowly, we're getting to a point of where we're seeing in porn. Hey, what do you like, what do you want me to do? Things like that. And I'd love to see more of that in more mainstream porn, but I'm not seeing it yet. It's more in the indie stuff, but we're getting there could hope Natalia Reagan 49:47 Alice is it mostly in the indie stuff that is doing that kind of work? Is it female directors or is it just a mix of all sorts of female male directors? Alice Vaughn 49:56 What there's a lot more females. So I mean, whenever indeed people are doing it. You have a lot of porn stars who are creating their own content. So they're creating the content that they want to make and put out for their fans. So you'll have people who, you know, just came off said, you know, they're hanging out with someone that they could have even just had onset and doing a scene with them, things like that. Yeah. So that's the cool thing about supporting specific porn stars, you know, the porn is always going to be ethical, because it's what they want to shoot. John Fugelsang 50:25 Yeah. And you also have imagined that, you know, men who are interested in working for a while in this business, will learn to respect the female stars of their films very early on. And I'd like to imagine that any men who are true misogynist, from the acting point of view, who don't respect the women don't have very long careers. I want to believe that we've heard lots of stories about guys who have a lot of power and do mistreat people. What I like about porn is that it's not a question of pay equity, women are paid much more and with good reason. And I'd like to believe that that kind of is trickle down feminism with douchebags aren't going to be able to mistreat a woman on a set full of people just because they think they have a chance to. Natalia Reagan 51:04 Well, pepper was saying that we were talking to you performer a few weeks ago. She's also a scientist and she was basically saying like, when she works with somebody and they behave or treat women or kind of our bro we and sort of have a boys club talk, she's just like, Mo won't work with them again. And you know, and word spreads. It's kind of like a spread of mouth, like who's good to work with who is going to just be kind of, you know, you just don't want to work with assholes. You want to work with good people. And of course, with porn, it's not only more fun, but it's it makes for a better product and it's more ethical. You're right, you know, less dangerous. Alice Vaughn 51:37 Now, that said, there's not a lot of guys in porn, because I mean, if you're a guy and you're listening to this, and you're saying, well, it's easy to get a screw woman. No, you have multiple cameras on you. You have to stay hard for extended amount of time you if you can come on command apply for porn. Because I can't. I guess that's a fun factor. I can't do that on command. Most people can't. Unknown Speaker 52:04 And go. Alice Vaughn 52:06 action and seems no, but the point is, is that because there's so few men, if you can check the boxes and do a scene, you will hang around longer than other people. And you don't have to be smart, either. I mean, I've talked to porn stars in her like, yeah, I've had to do scenes where the guy was a flat earther and I had to fake liking him for the scene. Now, they don't give you that disclaimer before you watch a porn. Hey, the people you're gonna watch fucking one of them believes the earth is flat through John Fugelsang 52:40 Oh, it's terrifying. I mean, when you cast because you're hanging outside Gold's Gym in Venice Beach all day. You're not going to get the broadest cross section of ideologies. Hey, that's my old gym. I love that gym. I'm just saying why not a certain kind of guy in a certain region of the country for a certain reason. It's not going to be the kind of guy that the girl would actually want to bring home after The workday? Natalia Reagan 53:00 No, exactly. It's just the one that they want to think about. Yeah, I mean, there was also a years ago, there were theories about when in a woman's cycle, she is more likely to step out on her mate. And the idea was that she's more likely to stay with you know, again, this is there's more research is always needed. But women were more likely to find men that were more symmetrical and attractive in terms of scientific terms or you know, symmetry being an indicator ovulation during ovulation. Yeah, Alice Vaughn 53:28 symmetry were Natalia Reagan 53:30 similar, like facial symmetry actual. Yeah, that's, I mean, that's considered a sign of attractiveness. I'm super asymmetrical. But some people are closer to being symmetrical. I mean, there's also just certain body types and shapes and everything but I also i as somebody who I'm a staunch believer that really takes out of the factors out individual preference because I think people have such unique and wide ranging individual preferences that are influenced by their growing up by their environment, you know, by their culture. I think it's not as easy as saying, oh, biology determines what we're attracted to, because I'm not a bunch of bull. But I do think it's interesting. I don't know, I think that's the greatest joke of nature, right? Like, all this time, we think we were attracted to what we were attracted to. All the while, it's actually nature being like, nope, you're attracted to what you think is a desirable mate with the traits your offspring needs. And we think it's just us getting the hard on when in reality, it's centuries and centuries of behavior and DNA making the choice for us. We just think, oh, hot choker. Yeah, I mean, but there's still like the Oedipal in the electric complex. There's still people doing attracted to things that they're not supposed. I mean, I'm saying that they're, they're just going off the rails, by the way, are we off the rails? Unknown Speaker 54:42 Do we always go off the rails? John Fugelsang 54:43 I love it. Natalia Reagan 54:44 Yeah, no, I mean, I'm a little bit mix of nature and nurture. I mean, obviously, some bio, there are some biological factors that will for incest avoidance, but, you know, but I do think that saying that, like men only like big boobs because or, you know, race ratio, you know, Not there has to be a certain ratio that you're right there is there. John Fugelsang 55:02 There are lots of nurture issues and God only knows how many women I've been attracted to because of my unresolved issues with my mama, mama, mother. Natalia Reagan 55:12 Don't worry, I had a boyfriend for a long time that everyone called dad because they he reminded them so much of my dad. And I was just like, no, stop it. Please don't delightful. Do not like I know. How's dad doing? Stop it. That's one way to destroy the relationship. Jesus. I know. We're still good friends. He's a wonderful human. He's just easy. I mean, it's a compliment. I mean, I guess my dad's a good looking man but he's also very funny like my father but still. Yeah, I know. But it is interesting and culture plays a huge role in what we think is high not always shifts and which is also I think, problematic too, because I think body types have gone in and out of fashion through the years and that shouldn't that's unfortunate because like, what if your body types like not in vogue this season, and you're just like, hey guys over here, ha ha. Nevermind, John Fugelsang 55:58 I want to believe that any any people Who you know, don't get all their opinions from screens will still be attracted to whomever they're attracted to. And the nice thing about all this body, like as a male growing up, I would always resent the women my culture told me I was supposed to find attractive because it was never the case. But one time when I was a kid, I passed Cindy Crawford on the street, and I was mad cuz she was actually really was so hot. And I had been so resentful of her that my culture kept saying, this is your ideal. But I think that for many of us, we're often surprised by who were drawn to who's smelly, like, who were kind of surprised that like, oh, wow, I actually trust you and feel safe with you and do whatever you want to me because I know you're good. And I think that's the great thing about getting away from screens and, you know, lack of human cells, like you know, getting out there and learning. The only one who decides who you're going to be attracted to at the end of the day really is you whether it's your DNA or your hangups Natalia Reagan 56:51 Yeah, now I've done videos about pheromones and just how they can play a role in human nature. And being able to, you know, smell out somebody who's genetically dissimilar to you theory would be a better mate in terms of you're going to have viable, healthy offspring. You know, you want to prove you want variation. I mean, you John Fugelsang 57:07 know, by someone's smell, yeah. Well, it doesn't matter what they look like, Natalia Reagan 57:12 no, is that an actual thing? pheromones? Yes, but not they didn't, doesn't necessarily have a smell. Right. You know, it doesn't necessarily you can't really smell them. But I mean, I don't know about you, Alice. But I have had men in my life that I cannot stop smelling. And I love it. And I'm addicted. And I've had men tell me I smell like peaches. One guy that was just like, I was with him for six years, and he just loved the wait. No, was it? Yeah, I was peaches. He was like, you just smell like peaches. And I was just like, I don't understand it. But he really loved the way I smelled. And we were horrible for each other like the worst partners ever. But we just couldn't quit each other. It was very strange. It was almost like animal magnetism. Who knows the capitalist and me saying why haven't we bottled this up and made money? There was a perfume Eau de Jeff. Oh my god, what was it called, like realm or something? It was there was a perfume john. Do remember. it. It was in the night like early 90s John Fugelsang 58:02 score with pheromones. Unknown Speaker 58:04 Yeah, it's Jakarta Noir, or the Korean War. Yeah, John Fugelsang 58:07 that was, oh god, oh shoot on Island who wore that I can still smell it. But if I go into a chess game, Natalia Reagan 58:14 okay, so I have a weird thing with smell. And I had a driver's ed teacher who was up and he was discovered he also were a spandex shirt. This is like 1994 95 spandex shirt. We live I lived in Southern California in the San Fernando Valley, and he was like, let's drive to the beach. And I'm 15 years old. I'm just like, dude, we're not driving to the beach, but he was up and to this day, if I smell that Cologne, in an elevator on a street I just literally want to farm it. I feel bad. I almost feel like if I ever went on a date with somebody and they showed up with it, it was just like they have no chance they would it's almost like it should be just written in one's profile. Oh, I get Unknown Speaker 58:51 it. I get it. Alice Vaughn 58:52 I can't help but wonder what would it be like if pundants and social media personalities all came out with not their own fragrance? But the fragrance actually smelled like them. I mean, john, would you like to know? You know how many people would want to buy your smell? John Fugelsang 59:06 No, no, I mean, I guess I at the same time I don't want to know what Chuck cod smells like so No, I'm fine with that. I can meet me and see how I smell. It's a ruggedly masculine get fetchingly clean. Alice Vaughn 59:19 Glenn Beck just smells like him. Natalia Reagan 59:22 I know john, he smells fantastic. Well, thank you sugar mom for her and Alice smells delicious. Just absolutely. She hops. I do. I'm a Hufford. Like I really I don't have glue. I don't have paint. I have people. John Fugelsang 59:37 Yep, I get that. I mean, with Can someone tolerable if someone's hospitable? I'm right there with you. If someone smells great, it's nice to just sit there and have someone in your arms and just enjoy all the senses. Their natural sense. Yeah, I mean, let your senses be a part of it and you know, look good sex. I know it's a show about porn but good sex is when all five senses are turned to 11 this is Alice Vaughn 1:00:00 I mean isn't the five senses thing over simplified? And there's a lot more than that? John Fugelsang 1:00:04 Well, sure if you want to get into paranormal but based on the, you know, the five that we've agreed on commonly, I think a good sex involves touch and sight, and hearing and smell and taste. And I don't actually I don't need any more senses than that involve those five keep me going. Natalia Reagan 1:00:19 That goes to my lover's grandmother. I generally like to have sex with them as well. Like that's something I like it. John Fugelsang 1:00:25 Well, and I like to have sex with telekinesis as well. So we have seven senses. We can go in Unknown Speaker 1:00:29 front of Jesus. John Fugelsang 1:00:30 Hmm, wow. Oh, yes. Alice Vaughn 1:00:33 Well, there's actually there looks like to be seven senses. There's two others I'm not familiar with. vestibular and I'm going to so Botrytis, proprioception, proprioception, proprioception. I don't know what this is. I don't even know if Natalia Reagan 1:00:47 the sense of balance are talking about vestibular is the sense of balance. John Fugelsang 1:00:50 I've been having sex all wrong all this time. I get to start over reset. Alice Vaughn 1:00:54 never told to learn. I'm gonna check the other one. I'm curious. What are the seven senses was one of them parents Normal Please tell me now um, it's just the I don't see any paranormal senses, perception or awareness of position or movement of the body. That's Yeah, as you mentioned one of them Natalia Reagan 1:01:09 that makes me think of echolocation. Alice Vaughn 1:01:18 Can you imagine if we were like bats having sex through echolocation trying to find people. Natalia Reagan 1:01:24 The dark echolocation is frickin amazing. There's people that are actually teaching it now to humans who are blind to go mountain biking. They mountain bike through echolocation and do all sorts of really physical you know, endurance activities, while wind and using echolocation and when as a child I remember taking showers and like putting my face close to the wall and kind of like being able to like just feel your distance like feel the distance between things like even like before want to get sexual with it. When you really like somebody you can feel when you're an inch closer you can feel when you move like they move a little bit closer Even though you you know your space between you, you can just like it's almost like atoms in the air to start. I don't know having a small party, but I just, that's something that I think is kind of fun electricity. I have a whole new fetish group to go join on Reddit now. Thank you. The echo locators are the that's my band. But yeah, it wouldn't be a good band name. Unknown Speaker 1:02:21 I'll go see you guys play at the troubadour. Natalia Reagan 1:02:24 Yay. Oh, I did like when they talked about how they called it data when instead of tattooing. Oh, did they? I feel like the movie called it tattooing something different. Well, Dan to when Dan to me, is that different? John Fugelsang 1:02:35 That's the div that's where the old Rebel base was. And that's the false name. laya gives them Natalia Reagan 1:02:38 that's it. Okay, see, that's me messing up. Okay, cool. John Fugelsang 1:02:41 By the way, knowing that cost me two years off the front of my sex life, just that, but I'm curious. You know, it seems like if this was as successful as we feel it was why they didn't put a sequel into pre production right away. And I'm still mystified how no one at Disney knows that they're just playing the music and the film. Alice Vaughn 1:03:00 I'm curious how original The music was how close it has to be to the original content for them to get sued. I have no idea. John Fugelsang 1:03:08 I mean, the opening title music, it's a parody, but they play the Imperial March note for note, I was really impressed and shocked. And I've never really worried about George Lucas or Disney feeling disenfranchised with shit. Alice Vaughn 1:03:19 Yeah, if they don't have enough money to keep putting out in our Star Wars every year. Natalia Reagan 1:03:23 Jesus, it's insane. I have not watched like the past four just because I can't keep up. I think the only one I've missed a soul. Oh, really? John Fugelsang 1:03:31 They're all good. Are they the last four that Disney's put out? They're all good. And then three of them are really good. Alice Vaughn 1:03:36 Which one did you not feel was great. John Fugelsang 1:03:39 solos good. It's not a bad film, considering three people made it and it's that coherent. I think that's quite an achievement. There's a lot that could have been done to make it better. I do think it deserves a sequel. And solo to was like trending a few months ago which says to me that even though the film was considered a flop, but it was really found a home on Netflix, where it's been for over a year. But Rob one's an excellent film, The Last Jedi I'm in the camp that really thought that was an excellent film. Not perfect has problems but so challenging. To me the last Jedi is challenging in the way that Empire Strikes Back was deeply challenging and upsetting to people in 1980. And episode seven is terrific. I mean, I think that Disney so far has done pretty good with the franchise, which means I guess we'll be here next year talking about those batteries. Natalia Reagan 1:04:24 Yeah, right. Get those in into the works. I mean, Alice knows this better than I do. How often are new porn parodies being cranked out these days? Alice Vaughn 1:04:32 Oh, gosh. So it depends. Who you are in the industry. Yeah. So if you're wood rocket, for example, you're pumping out parodies every I want to say almost two, three weeks. So for example, we had recently that whole area 51 raid. Yes. Yeah, storm 51 or they did come out with an area 51 porn parody. Okay, but I feel like it's almost they're coming out with so many. It's almost like, oh, there's a huge new box office. Release. And there's in conjunction a porn being released with it. So for example, I love the good place. That's one of my favorite TV shows. The same day the new season of The Good Place launched. We got the goo place. Unknown Speaker 1:05:13 Oh, that's nice. John Fugelsang 1:05:14 Ah, well now I think you can just make solo and it just has to be a masturbation movie. There Natalia Reagan 1:05:19 you go. Yeah, no, it's it's absolutely it writes itself. Really. John Fugelsang 1:05:23 I mean, it's kind of weird that they tried to make a film called solo with two directors in the first place. But masturbation series, it seems like a natural. Alice Vaughn 1:05:30 I mean, at that point, you just have someone dressed as Han Solo and just masturbate throughout the entire film for 16 times. Just stop just the whole time. I just I find that I would watch that just like a fly on the wall. Just I'm into it. Speaking of not stopping. Did you know there's 10 hours of Darth Vader breathing? Someone recording through it? I'm on YouTube Natalia Reagan 1:05:49 10 hours. Alice Vaughn 1:05:50 Yeah. So if you've ever wanted background noise to sleep, John Fugelsang 1:05:54 that's great to know, Natalia Reagan 1:05:55 actually just to masturbate to but that's well, Geez Louise. As of 2001, John Fugelsang 1:06:00 after a while with all the silent breathing and all that, but yeah, Alice Vaughn 1:06:04 I'm personally partial to the MIDI they stole from an angel fire page that they played for the cantina scene? I'm going to be masturbating to that, Natalia Reagan 1:06:13 then I wouldn't Yeah, it's gonna be Alice is your soundtrack. Good times? If I call you and I hear that in the background, I'll know what you're up to. Alice Vaughn 1:06:21 I'm redesigning the HTML code from the web my web page from the 1980s that's what I'm doing. Choosing the perfect middie Jesus. All right, we've got as far as I think we can with this porn. I know. We've really milked it. John Fugelsang 1:06:36 We've made our own prequels. At this point. We've Unknown Speaker 1:06:39 like bantha milk. John Fugelsang 1:06:40 Yeah, we were part of everyone's nipples at this point, Unknown Speaker 1:06:45 huh? Oh, Alice Vaughn 1:06:46 no. Hmm. So john, where can our listeners find more of you? John Fugelsang 1:06:51 Oh, wow. Well, I'm on all the socials and Sirius XM insight every day. JOHN people saying on Instagram or Twitter, Facebook JOHN people staying calm and a comedy club near you. Natalia Reagan 1:07:03 And you guys, by the way can hear more stuff that we have actually over@patreon.com slash two girls on mic. So those references I was alluding to before we have them in previous episodes that are unreleased, including peppers episode that Natalia mentioned. So just hop on over to there and for five bucks a month, you guys can listen to all of that back catalogue. There's at least 17 episodes but Natalia worker listeners find more of you. You can find me on Twitter at Natalia 13 Reagan. Same with Instagram. I also have a whole Natalia, you can watch me make bad David Attenborough videos of maybe holding just anything and everything and yeah, under a rock pretty much. Yeah, you find me? I have shows coming up out in November. Oh, gosh. How could I forget November? I'm doing the George Lucas show on the intrepid on November 13. Yeah, I'll be a guest on the George Lucas show. It's a UCB show a dude plays George Lucas to a tee. I'm going to be a scientist on the show talking about what would it be like going different planets, different Star Wars planets, so and how would the different Yeah, cuz I'm a scientist I don't wait to talk about it on this episode but I'll be talking about that. Yes, Alice Vaughn 1:08:08 it's awesome. And you guys can find me on Twitter at rational blonde or you guys can also catch us every week on this podcast so tell your friends to subscribe leave us comment. Are you grumbling? Natalia Reagan 1:08:20 Yeah, I was crying it Yeah, sorry. Okay. Alice Vaughn 1:08:26 So guys, thanks for joining us again. We'll see you next week. All your friends Buh bye. Transcribed by https://otter.ai

30 Loka 20191h 8min

Right after recording episode 60, this is the conversation Alice, Natalia Reagan, Amberly Rothfeild had. The ladies chat about clit stapling, animals in orifices, muppetfucker, and abortion clinic tanks.  Get MORE minisodes like this AND support the show by joining us on Patreon

25 Loka 201927min

Alice and Natalia are joined by phone sex operator Amberly Rothfield (@AmberlyPSO) and dish on how she's able to make 10 GRAND a month as a phone hoe. Learn how she handles different fetishes, uses props for sound effects, ASMR, and why someone needs to hire Natalia for their marketing department.  Support us on Patreon for a BONUS episode!  Buy Amberly's Book Check out the free version here

23 Loka 20191h 13min

Alice is joined by guest host Allison McKnight (@thatmcknight) and AVN Hall of Fame director, Eli Cross (@eli_cross) to talk porn bloopers, a literal "shit geyser", porn squirting, urine spitting, money laundering, VISA being the ultimate censor, actor rates, and much more. Support us on Patreon!

16 Loka 20191h 10min

Alice (@RationalBlonde) is joined by Natalia Reagan(@natalia13reagan) and comedian Alex Falcone (@alex_falcone) to review Napornean Dynamite, talk monkey sex, Big Foot porn, polar bear abortions, and rate Natalia's feet.  Alex's podcast: Read it and Weep Support us on Patreon

9 Loka 20191h 5min

Alice is joined by guest co-host Allison McKnight (@thatmcknight) and N.S.F.W. sex club owner, Daniel Saynt (@danielsaynt). Sex club info and etiquette , religious repression, sex club themes, and more.  Support us on Patreon! 0:09 Welcome to Two girls one Mic the podcast whose sex club rules are exactly the same as Fight Club, and coincidentally also run by Joseph Gordon Levitt with dissociative identity disorder. 0:21 So hot 0:23 actually was really hot. It's a newest club in New York actually. So with me, you guys are probably hearing a familiar voice. That is the voice of my beautiful guest co host, Allison McKnight from our et episode, Alison, how you doing today? I am 0:42 doing that's about as far as I got. But now you said Joseph Gordon Levitt, so I'm doing better. 0:48 Does anyone have any connections to him that we know of? I'd like to be connected to him. Daniel, how about you? Do you have any connections to 0:54 him? Don't reveal any member details. Oh, 1:00 No. Oh, I forgot to introduce myself. Guys. I'm your host, Alice Vaughn. And with me You guys are hearing Daniel St. He is. And I have never heard this job title before chief conspirator of ns, Fw the new society for wellness, new society 1:19 for wellness. It's really good when you can make up your own title. It's really it's really helpful. You can have some fun with 1:24 what are the other options? 1:27 I don't think there are any, there really were any other ones. I mean, this felt like such an underground thing from the beginning. So conspirator just made sense. And before I was like, kind of open and public about doing this, that was what was used in press. So it certainly felt right. 1:41 It feels like you should have a more significant role in some sort of elaborate, I don't know, international scheme. 1:48 Yeah, that's literally what we're trying to do. 1:51 Very public about it. 1:54 Yeah, change sex perceptions around the world. Why not? 1:56 So yeah, so you run a sex club and we've actually never had Sex club owner on this show before. 2:03 For some of our listeners, you want to give a quick definition of a sex club, like a rundown description, something to kind of give them context. 2:10 Yeah. So I mean, I think a lot of people think of sex club as a place where you go to have sex, that's a big part of it for us, we kind of do a lot more around the space. So not only we hosting events where sex is allowed, and sex is okay to have we do education around sex. So we teach about BDSM to Tantra, we teach about touch relationships, how to be in open relationships, how to ask for sex, so we're constantly covering different subjects in the world of sex. So it's a sex club, in the sense of, it's all about sex, but it's more different from what people would traditionally think of when they think of a sex club and the audience that we attract. And the people that are here is very, very different from any other sex club that exist around the world. So it's kind of unique in that way. We like to call it a love club, because there's more focused on that than anything else. 2:57 How did you even get into this industry? I'm curious. Yes, 3:01 well, my background is actually in fashion. I started off as a fashion blogger then became really popular, took over for marketing for a big handbag line, which did very, very well and maybe a little bit famous in that space. And then started an agency where I was representing digital influencers, and then bought a magazine called nylon and then realize I hated fashion and consumerism and trying to get people to buy things that didn't actually make them happy. And I wanted to apply my skills to something that could make people happy. So I decided to focus on sex and cannabis. But that's just one of the reasons why I started as a W. It's like it's very, there's so many factors into it. Like around the time I was coming out as bisexual, I wanted to be more open with my sexuality and talk about it. I felt like there wasn't really anyone out there who's male bisexual who's like, you know, presenting and being open and honest about it. So that was a big factor. I just got through a divorce, which was very, very difficult, very connected to my bisexuality, which was unfortunate, but I kind of felt a need to, I don't know, bring people together and teach them about sex and like make it less scary. Make less time Boo, make it a community make it a place where you know that people are coming, you know, they're behaving a certain way and you know that it's safe. So yeah, and so Toby kind of sparked from all that. I had a very religious background, which helped with it because you just kind of realize how kind of backward some of that stuff is and how detrimental shame is for people in general and teaching them to live more shamelessly teaching them to be more proud about who they are and more comfortable with their sexuality is a very key element of, I guess, the programming that we try to instill in our members and try to teach them that it's okay to be sexual. 4:33 That's awesome. So we went from fashion to influencers to sex clubs, I mean, trying to feel like I feel like that's not even a hard jump. 4:42 I mean, it really was, I don't know I had done it like secretly for like two years just testing it out, testing out all the classes and events and things I want to create, and just building the community initially from like my friend group and people I knew. So we have a lot of people who are kind of in the fashion industry or models or you know, in those Kind of media driven industries, which was nice. It's what a lot of us get so much of the press that we got. So we've been very fortunate to build a really cool community, a very interesting community, very influential community. And now we're kind of taking that forward and pushing more into politics and pushing more into how we change the law and how we change the way people approach sex. Yeah, that's kind of the most of it. I mean, there's so much stuff going on here. Like it's really, it's a little insane where the company is right now. And what we've built is, it's just very interesting. It's like, I've hosted over a 500 play parties. I've seen so many people having sex, and so we will share their sex lives and so many people share the things that, you know, could they kind of discover the gain from it, and it's just encouraging. Like, I feel like we'll have these all around the world at some point. 5:45 You mentioned that yours is different than other sex clubs. I'll be frank, I've never visited a sex club. So I don't know that different types. Allison, do you have more experience here? 5:54 I do have more experience. Yes, but they're all different. So that's why I am Tim because like when I mentioned sex clubs to friends, they're like, what happens at sex clubs? Are they make some stupid joke and they're all different and who's running them changes Exactly. And what their focus is what their rules are. 6:13 Yeah, I think before I started NSFW, probably around the age of 16, I started going to sex clubs and just seeing what was out there. You know, being bisexual, go to gay clubs, go to St spaces, kind of really getting a feel for what was available. And I travel the world a lot. So I went to a lot of international spaces. And I kind of just came up to this realization that a lot of the sex that's available for men is just not available for women. And a lot of the spaces that exists, we're just not safe. It was a lot of consent violations. I've been sexually assaulted multiple times, raped multiple times. And it just became something where it didn't feel like that was the place that people would discover sexuality. That's not the place where people are going to feel comfortable exploring their sexuality or enjoying it or trying new things. So it kinda was just seeing like, there wasn't a place in the market space that really catered to women specifically, but also cater to those who want to exist in a space where consent is respected. And enthusiastic consent is practice. And before anyone touches you, they ask and a woman can come solo and walk around naked and not feel harassed, you know. So it was going through those experiences negatively positively seeing what I enjoyed seeing what I liked, and picking and choosing things that made sense. And then, over the past five years of building this really setting the model for how people should engage in group sex, how people should engage in these activities. And in doing so, you know, over 2000 members, we get about 600 people applying each month. It's been rapidly growing. We're looking at multiple cities now, including LA, London, Paris, and Israel. With just opportunities to open up and build this there. We're building out our franchise model we just did our first round of fundraising. It's crazy. It's hard to describe how much the market needed this and how much they've responded to it. 7:54 How do you select from your applicants and then how do you onboard them to your consent rules? And any other rules you have in place 8:01 also been what's a little curious? What's application process even look like? Yeah, I've never had to apply for a sex club. Is this more? This is more serious than a Tinder profile, I'm guessing. 8:12 Oh, yeah, it's way more serious. And it's in your profile. You know, for most places, it's really anyone can go. So there's not really an application process. The people that you're around can be just random people. There's a lot of like smaller private play groups that have a curated group, but it's mostly people who are either part of that Burning Man camp or like kind of just swingers who swing with them. For us the application process goes through a lot. We have a group members called the council They are the ones who kind of observed members at the events to see how they're behaving and how they're interacting. beforehand. The Counselor reviews all the membership applications people provide their social media profiles, they provide ultimate fantasies, they provide what they're into. There's over 46 things they can choose from it's you know, men, women, non binary trans like literally everyone's allowed to apply. Enjoy And we have all that representation within our club, which is great. When they give us their ultimate fantasies, it lets us know about what they're trying to accomplish, where they are in their sexual journey. And what they're trying to do, when they give us how they identify, lets us know, like on the scale, in a sense of Kinsey scale, but a little bit more advanced, exactly where they are in the spectrum of sex and how much they're gonna enjoy the experience or how they're going to interact with it. And then they share how they can contribute, which is really great. Because you get lawyers, you get people who are very influential in a lot of things, you get people who have wealth and other things. But you also get artists you get creatives, you get people who are want to add to the process of what we're doing. So we have a better understanding of them. When we look through their social media profiles. The main things we're looking at is based off of a couple points of attraction that we've identified. So physical attraction, that's the obvious one. If someone's physically attractive, that's great. It's you know, it helps if they are not and there's other things that we point to for attraction that includes their career, like what they are doing in their lives. Do they travel a lot? Do they have a large circle of friends? Are they married or single, you know, do They seem like someone who dates a lot that always goes into the process of it. And then artists, creatives, people who are actually doing work that's always a positive. So we look forward to having that 10:09 as well. This is more intense in the last few job interviews. So I'm already envisioning the council wearing robes. Like head to toe like the manners just in the quarters of the club watching people. Yes, yes. Taking notes 10:24 not like that. I mean, it's like it's missing. I'm sorry, it's out It seems like that. It's it's just wording it's marketing jumbo 10:31 asking for references. Yeah, if you 10:32 have a member reference that helps you get in a lot faster, because then we have someone we can go to but like, hey, should this person be here? 10:37 Oh, I was gonna go with my like, second grade art teacher. Oh, yeah. 10:40 If you can provide a reference letter of any previous 10:43 text with your second grade. 10:46 Not in second grade, mind you just ever. As an adult, it's not on my bucket list. But now I'm like, shut up. 10:55 And she looked back to see that virus was. 10:57 Yeah. So what's your acceptance rate? For just, you know, a non connected application just through the website or whatever you're using, 11:05 when we initially started accepting three, it was around 10% of those who applied, we've increased it just because it's getting to be such a much wider base and so many more people are applying. Also, it's like, it's almost like people know, in a sense that they shouldn't apply, you know, so it seems like more people who are applying are within that category of the person we're looking for. It's mainly millennial audience, like our average age is 28. So a lot of people who are older probably won't apply. If they're more involved in like the kink scene or other things they might not apply. Like, there's, it's interesting, because like we're building and initially it was like, hard to determine who made sense to come in. But now because there's so much visibility, it's the people who should be here who are responding and the people who should be here who are coming to us. So I think that's been really, really encouraging to like, have a higher acceptance rate. 11:52 So do you send a letter of rejection? 11:54 Yeah, well, we send a letter of rejection and we make suggestions on other places that they might be able to go on their sexual journey and places that are better fit For them, we try to provide them, you know, resources to find what they're looking for. We don't want to stunt anyone's sexual experience or stunt their sexual journey. So at times, we'll be like, oh, here's suggestions. And we also have done articles on other places to go to and check out and things that are more party focused. But yeah, within NSW because of how the community is, and just knowing who's in the room, like you kind of know who makes sense to have in a sense, like, if you can't have a good conversation with someone, you probably shouldn't sleep with them. And if you're like someone who just looks like someone who you wouldn't want to talk to, it's gonna be harder to see if anyone wants to have sex with you. So this is probably not the best place. I'm 12:36 sorry, Louie ck, you can't be in there. 12:41 Yeah, exactly. I mean, that's another thing. It's like trying to find that type of information. You never know with people, you know. 12:46 So what's your normal like, for all the cold applications you receive? What's the most common reason for you to say now, 12:53 wait two people ever send fake photos or fake applications 12:56 data happens to we noticed that sometimes where it's like, there's only one photo On a social profile and like we can't get additional information, and we don't accept those people, like if we can't get enough information from you, you just get a rejection. And yeah, we make it very clear. Like we're going to need to look through stuff to know a little bit more about you and not just have random strangers here. 13:14 But sorry, going back to Allison's question, what's the most common reason that you would probably reject someone? 13:19 lack of information of them online? 13:21 When you have information? What would be the most common reason? Like if you have a full obligation with everything you need? What's your normal reject? I mean, 13:29 I think it comes down to since there's six different things we're looking at, if like two or three of those things aren't fitting, then it doesn't make sense. So it could be someone who is older, but they are, you know, someone who travels and is more successful or as a part of a creative scene, or it could be someone who is a little bit more overweight, you know, deemed in a sense, like possibly unattractive but there's other factors to them, that make them interesting that make them worth being there that can provide that conversation. The most common one again, is not having enough information on them. Or they're answering questions in a really like weird way where it's like, I want to fuck bitches. You know, like if you're just saying that for your reasons join a sex club, you're probably not going to get in. 14:12 Or, like bitches 14:13 get money. 14:14 Yeah, for being exactly. Or I'd say that's one of the things I mean, if you're avid Trump supporter, probably not. 14:24 I'm sure that it also gets to a point where you're like, they're creative, but not in a way that we want. So they sing they play a musical instrument, but they listed the kazoo. 14:32 Yeah, it's like you start looking through and you're 14:34 typically the funeral kazoo. 14:36 Ooh, a few funeral 14:40 that might work at the bed. Working sick that kazoo. That's the question. Know how many events a month Do you host so we do for a week. So it's about 20 minutes per month. And then we do a lot of like speaker panels type things. On this week we're doing the pro sex rally, or our goal is to introduce a new bill into New York City Congress to protect the rights of the sexually exploited that's what the pro sex. So we are drafting our bill the rally is a way to inform people I don't think a lot of people realize how much discrimination they can experience based off of their sexual experiences. You know, they don't realize that you know, if you are part of a sex club that could be potential for you to not get a raise not get hired not succeed or your job. If you are polyamorous and live in a triad, it might be a reason why you don't get housing reason why you can't find a place to live. If you were former porn star and you're trying to get a new career. It's the reason why you can't get hired. A lot of these stories happen regularly. There's usually lawsuits that are associated with it, but they kind of died down or get settled. But we believe that there should be a law that protects that, you know, just like you have laws protecting LGBTs you should have laws that are protecting kinky people and poly people and you know, people who are comfortable being naked, you know, you shouldn't be discriminated against because, you know, your news Leaked 15:55 makes complete sense. I mean, I feel like everybody has a naked photo of themselves on their phone at one point or another 16:01 90% of millennial women have naked photos on their phone 90% like everyone is taking nudes, everyone is sending nudes. Everyone has this out there, you know, will this impact their careers? If it comes out? will it impact their careers? If it's shared at the office? What type of behavior happens at that point? And what actual protections you have, you have none. People don't have any protection against that type of stuff, which is why companies are allowed to discriminate. And that's what we're trying to raise awareness for right now. 16:26 That's awesome. So Bill is just in the early stages. So you said 16:30 so we have a couple of members who are lawyers who are helping us with the drafting of it some that are associated with Lambda Legal so we're hoping we can get their team on board. The Pro sex rally this week is like our first big announcement of it. We just launched I'm pro sex org, which goes into what we're trying to accomplish. We have some amazing speakers, including Sophie St. Thomas acnezine, Remy Duran, just a lot of people who are writers and journalists and already talking about sex in a big way. We have Christina from guys. We thought we have horrible decisions, Mandy from horrible decisions is coming on. So we're trying to get these voices to To not only talk about what is the status of sex, where are we right now? And what's happening, but also, how do we live shamelessly? How do we get to a point where the shame that's associated with sex is removed from people and they can actually live a life that doesn't feel so shitty all the time, you know, and doesn't feel so judgmental all the time. And every decision you make around sex is not like a constant flow of negative feelings. So, yeah, that's the purpose of it. That's what we're trying to do. 17:26 It's funny because people don't realize how much stigma you know, even in liberal cities that, you know, people involved in sex work, even those that weren't even naked themselves. You know, we have had stories on the show where people moved from LA and being producers, editors, writers to New York, and they can't get jobs, you know, in their respective fields because they wrote or edited porn. Yes. And had to make up resumes. It's ridiculous. 17:53 I mean, I think that's the main issue. I think people view all these things and enjoy all these things, and absorb all Sounds like people watch porn, everyone pretty much watches porn, you know, like you're enjoying it. But when it comes to the performers, when it comes to the people who are associated with the industry, you're treating them like lesser people. It's like you enjoy the benefits while you get to make them suffer. That sounds pretty bad. So yeah, it's just seeing something wrong in the world and feeling like there's a way that we can collectively get something done. And with 2000 members and the types of people we have, we feel like the influence of our community is enough to at least get more people talking about it. 18:27 So you keep mentioning shame. And you mentioned much earlier on that having a religious background has helped you and your work what you're doing now. How has that impacted you? And when you were in this religious background, did you feel shamed about your sexuality? Was there some sort of awakening you went through? 18:42 I would say this definitely an awakening. I was raised Jehovah's Witness. I'm like third generation. So my grandmother was a witness. My mom was Jehovah Witness her whole life and then I was Jehovah Witness from birth. It's a fairly strict religion where you really do follow the doctrines of the Bible, but you also aren't allowed to masturbate. You're not allowed to experience any sort of sexual pleasure until you're ready. married. 19:00 Wait, what? Hold on. I didn't know about the non masturbation thing. 19:03 Oh, yeah, yeah, masturbation is one of the worst things you can do. You're supposed to report anytime you have feelings for masturbation. So you're constantly telling these older men like, Hey, I wanted to masturbate last night. And it's really weird when you're 12. And talking about that. So 19:15 have you done that? Did you have to do that? 19:17 Yeah, I had to do that. Totally. Oh, God. It was it was awful. It was very difficult. I remember like, one of my first sexual experiences was with a friend of mine, Bobby, we were playing like x men toys. And he taught me how to suck and Suck my cock. And it was just like, this whole thing. And it felt very, like whatever, you know, normal ish. And I remember telling my parents about it and having to go through the whole process of going to the elders and talking to them about this experience. And I'm like 14 years old, and they basically rebuke you and then they do an announcement in the congregation that you no longer have privileges and then no one can talk to you. So it's this constant group decision that we're going to make everyone feel as ashamed as possible about their sex and their sexuality. And you know, not even going to the fact that I was bisexual. I'm going to the back that Stuff like that it's just this constant, you're always in a state of shame. And it forces you to connect back to those people and connect to that congregation and feel like that's the only place you can be. Outside of that you don't have birthdays, you don't have any celebrations of holidays, you can't associate with anything that's, you know, religious or political. So you're not, you're not, you know, singing the national anthem at school, you're not allowed to associate with anyone outside the religion because everyone's kind of seen as worldly. So you are stuck with only the people within there who are just very much so self policing, and really self policing in a way that keeps you restricted. And I found that, you know, most of the people who are associated with very hardcore religions live a very restrictive life. They're repressed, you know, there's a oppressiveness to how they live and how they have to act. And I felt that everyone outside of that felt very expressive, like they were able to be free, they were able to share what they wanted. But yeah, when I finally left the religion, it was difficult. You know, it was difficult to kind of go into the World Without any knowledge about sex, like, I forged my mom's signature so I could take sex ed in like Middle School, like I was so desperate for a sort of information. 21:02 Yeah, I have to get anything signed. We just took it from Los Angeles, I guess. They're definitely different. Yeah, I 21:09 had to get it totally forged my mom's signature for to be allowed to take sex out in fifth grade. And it was, it was important. It was like it's the information you need. 21:17 So you're saying you wouldn't recommend being a Jehovah's Witness? 21:21 You wouldn't recommend you know, not touching yourself. 21:24 Yeah, I would not suggest not touching yourself. 21:26 Oh, wait, actually a counterpoint to that. I had a boyfriend way back in the day who was raised very Catholic, and he was not allowed to touch himself. And so he would masturbate by humping a pillow or a sleeping bag. From the time he started masturbating onwards. So his ass was steel. 21:44 Like just perfect. And silver lining silver linings. Yes. Good stuff. 21:50 Speaking of repressed religious shit, Are you guys familiar with what sub segments of ultra Orthodox Judaism do when it comes to underwear? No. Who. So after a woman has her period, she has a certain amount of days, I think it's seven or 10 days where her discharge has to, after that period of time be a certain color and size. And if it's the wrong color in size, so bear in mind during your period, you can't touch the males in the household. So if you have a son, you can't hug him. If you have a husband, you can't touch him. And you can't do it during that period after your period as well by the end, so you have to actually take your panties and send them to a rabbi. And if you can mail them to a rabbi, you could give it to the Rabbi's wife or he has a special mailbox for it. Oh, gosh. 22:43 How big is this mailbox? Like cuz 22:45 there's gonna be a lot of women. There's just 22:48 a rally with a whole bunch of like, just stained discharged. What like, what are they collecting in the underwear? They just give them the underwear. 22:55 What? Yeah, and if it's not the right color or size Or texture or whatever, they have to restart this whole like seven or 10 day waiting period before again, they could touch their sons or husbands, I'm pretty 23:07 sure if we can get those panties, we can launch a site and sell them. I feel like that would be a good way of thinking like 23:12 decoration like hanging from phone poles and stuff back to work. 23:17 How do we find these mailboxes? What to do? If you are an Orthodox Jewish woman somehow listening to the show and mail your panties, email us info to girls and Mike, we want to know, please let us know 23:30 that religion is it's a little nuts sometimes. But I think it does good things to like, I feel like one of the things I definitely took away from you know, being in such a close knit community for so long is that feeling of wanting a community and I think without that, the amount of times that you experience church or anything else, like it's continuous, you're constantly studying, you're constantly learning. So I think for me, it's definitely instilled a desire to learn and to really gain a full knowledge of the things I'm talking about from as many perspectives as possible. I was trained for a very early age to teach people why their religion was wrong, which is not the most difficult thing to teach people, which is very difficult thing to teach people. I mean, like you, you learn about when you're studying, you're setting about, you know, Hinduism and Buddhism and Catholics and everyone else, you're learning about how they think and what they think, and how to use the Bible to convince them otherwise, how to get them away from that thinking and how to change their thinking. So I think I appreciate that, you know, being able to even when I didn't believe in something, convince someone that it was true. And now I have something I actually believe in. So it's much more gratifying when I'm able to convince someone that this is not a bad thing. And sex is not bad and weed is not bad. And all these rules that have been established around it Really do come from a place of shame. 24:42 I'm sorry, but the millennials are injecting the marijuana so how can we ever trust them? Going back to sex clubs, I have questions about Well, a lot of things about you know what goes on in them or how to prep yourself going to one or even the cleanup crew What does that look like? How much do you pay them? 25:02 You get paid really well. 25:05 Paid really well 25:05 what dissolves lube best? 25:09 Having a lot of extra sheets, like you just throw out the sheets. No, I think if you're thinking about attending a club, all the clubs have like different rules, you want to find a club that has a very clearly stated consent policy and a way in which you can report things that are happening that might not make you feel comfortable. You want to make sure you know who the organizers are. For most millennials, you know, they don't really go to sex clubs, you know, it's not like a thing they want to and some of them do go to certain places, but it tends to be a one and done type audience. So go once and never go again. They did the experience, they had a bad experience or you're not the greatest experience. It's not on their bucket list anymore. So they kind of move on from that and you know, go the path of monogamy and stuff like that. I would say that. You want to make sure the place how you're going to save, you want to make sure that you're ready for that. If they have you know, pages on fetlife. If they have pages on other places, look at some of the people who are going It's always suggested to go with someone always try to have someone with you, it's almost impossible for women to go to sex clubs alone. So it's kind of a situation where you know, you do want to have a friend with you. 26:10 Why is that? I was gonna say I haven't had any problem going to sex clubs alone. 26:14 Oh, I'm saying like for some of the just like other places like it might not feel, I don't know and I don't feel safe. If you're going your first time you're going solo, like we always suggest, bring a friend even here we say like, Hey, you know, definitely, we should just bring someone. I'm just so you have someone here and there's someone I know, it's just you never know, in certain situations, I think it depends on the sex level you go to if you have one that's more community focused. If you have one that's a little bit more open about the consent policies. If you have ones that are run by women, which is ideal, you're going to find that a lot of that stuff is covered and you feel safer in those places. But if you're going to have more established clubs that have been around for a while and probably have a different audience, you might not feel as safe. So it's really about just researching the club and getting to know who might be there and some of the people you don't want to be Just go so low and just not really have that connection. We have a whole private community so members can connect to each other beforehand, a seeking section where they can say like, Hey, I'm going for my first time as anyone else going, and they start connecting before talking to each other and then getting to know each other even before they set foot inside the club, which helps alleviate some of that stress. Dress Code wise, we always suggest three layers. So there's the alpha that you come in, that eventually comes off. We always suggest robes, have something that you can cover yourself with. Keep track of your underwear, make sure you have a place where you're leaving stuff and you can go back to it because it gets really kind of crazy when we have to return stuff. And we're like, I don't know if it's 27:37 under where it is anywhere as you never know. Do you have a coat check for underwear? 27:41 No, just have a general coat check. Do you 27:43 have lockers set up as I've been to clubs with lockers 27:46 we don't have locker setup but we do have shelving and we do have like places where people can leave their stuff. We might eventually go through have lockers because like the where we have the check in and people leave this up. There is always someone there we have on nymphs basically these women And men dressed in white, who are there to protect the space. So they do door check and they do the bar, they kind of make sure everyone's good. If anyone ever has a problem, you can go to an infant ask them for help, but they also like watch the bags and stuff like that. So people aren't worried about losing stuff. 28:16 You mentioned three layers. So I assume three is like code for you know, it's like Alright, so you got your outer you've got your normal and maybe like launch, right? What about like, if you piled on clothing as if you were trying to sneak clothes through an airport? 28:29 That's totally fine. Do that. Yeah, just like keep 28:31 your seven t shirt off. 28:33 Yes, like slowly. It's like a very long striptease as you're just pulling your hair out. 28:38 We'll get there eventually. 28:42 Like before close it's like you're finally naked. 28:44 took seven hours. Can you walk us through what it would be like for someone you just accepted a first time sex club first time member, their first experience like they have a particular night you'd recommend they come on like will they be guided through or they just kind of kicked it of this pond and being like cool have fun swimming. 29:02 Nope totally kicked in. Now we do an event called send noobs send news is dedicated to all newbies. I teach a class in that called How to ask for sex, which is focused on teaching members enthusiastic consent. We also have a code of conduct, which goes into how we all should behave NSFW and what we're expecting from each other while we're here. The how to ask for sex class is, first of all focus on like, why it's so difficult for us ask for sex, why we're so afraid to vocalize the things we want sexually covering everything from rejection to the lack of consent culture and porn to religious upbringing and fear of like the feelings that we have. And then it goes into how to practice enthusiastic consent and how to make it sexy and how to make it interesting. And then members have an opportunity to share some of their sex stories. They have an opportunity to try out what we're teaching and start asking people for simpler things like you know, massage your hand or touch or things like that. And that kind of leads people into having more of those conversations during sexual activities. The other thing is like we do talk about consent culture. lot at NSFW. So the house rules are respect hydrate, don't be a creeper. hydrate is an obvious one, you know, keep your mind sane and keep yourself aware. Like Don't be overly intoxicated Don't be, you know risks anyone who's at the club house respect is all about consent and understanding the respect of others of understanding people's privacy, you know, not kind of being someone who's revealing anyone in any way. And then don't be a creeper. Any creeper activities that would make someone uncomfortable is what that falls under. After each event, we send out a creeper report. So we allow members to report anyone that made them feel uncomfortable during the event. And then we respond and for every type of report, we have a certain response that needs to be had. So from the more serious stuff which is complete expulsion, and you know, anything we have to do with police or anyone else like that, like really supporting anyone who experiences that which hasn't happened. Thank god to like some of the lighter stuff where it's like, oh, this woman touched me without asking and like Grab my boob, you know, it's like the most recent ones that we've had a lot of women on women type stuff where women feel very comfortable touching someone without asking and not really seeing that, you know, you have to ask everyone just because you're the same gender doesn't mean it's okay for you to touch someone and disrespect their autonomy. So, yeah, it's a big range of stuff. We've had like smaller things where it's like, this person found me on Instagram. It's like, okay, like, like, I don't know. Yeah, we try our best. 31:28 You mentioned for people to stay hydrated Do you offer water bottles or have a snack machine actually do great as far as snacks if I bring a snack Do I have to bring enough for everyone? 31:42 For haystacks? I mean, we have. We have some snacks and foods available here like there's usually either fruit or some little bites and things. We have tons of water available. We try to keep everyone hydrated tons of like mixers and stuff like that. Wait, 31:54 what is orgy food is crunchy 31:57 food, like bites like bites is a rover or jif I mean, I've been to orgies where someone's mom made rigatoni like it was like a really weird one like there's just like they had a whole buffet. I was just like watching all these people who like I probably wouldn't want to have sex with just eating from the buffet and like kind of going through and I'm just like this is this is not sexy wises athlete. It's a different type of environment. I think I but yeah, no cheeses, no garlic. Oh, wait, nothing that makes your breath smell bad. No onions. Like keep away from things like that. You want to have smaller bite type foods. Trader Joe's has a whole bunch of options for stuff like that if you're doing something at home and trying to host your own, but yeah, stay away from anything that would affect someone's breath. For fruit juices go things like pineapple, fresh berries and fruits even like whole slices of pineapple are great because those who just help and enhance the experience also affects the taste of your vaginal fluids and terminal fluids, which is nice. 32:51 Yeah, that's about it. So I'm hearing don't bring pineapple on pizza to an orgy or do 32:56 not not you can bring the pineapple leave the pizza. Sara from dairy no dairy caught my cause gas like you never know I don't know you have to like be very aware I would stay away from cheeses we stay away from garlic we stay away from onions we stay away from anything that will have that impact chilies are good though like things that are natural projects are good 33:14 don't bring the cancer like refried beans 33:18 leave those at home once I had a lovely foursome with these three guys and beforehand I was really tired and I drank a coffee and a mountain dew bad idea. Don't do that. I learned yes really late and I had to drive was fine. It wasn't fine. It was not fine. It was definitely not fine. 33:42 Coffee and Mountain Dew so I assumed separate not together. 33:46 No it was like I had a coffee before I drove down and then halfway down I had stopped for gas and I was like I'll just get a mountain dew cuz I'm so tired and then it was just like this is horrible. This is the worst. I had a great night anyhow, but it was definitely not the best Food choice and then I called one of my exes and I was like, why did this happen? And he was like, cuz you're an idiot. And I was like, Okay, that makes sense. 34:08 I feel like eventually I should come out with a listicle of appropriate orgy foods. So pigs in a blanket. Yay, nay. Okay, so those are a pass. Yeah, you 34:17 can you can do I think the list is a great idea. People need to know people need to know they don't think about these things. They're like, Oh, we're gonna host an orgy at our house. Let's like do this and then everyone's bloated and they made too big of a meal and no one's a fuck yeah, you have to be very aware like you want to give them enough energy to get through the night and a couple hours but not too much energy, whether authority sick and tired. 34:36 And you also want to keep track of like finger food, the sugar Enos the oil of it, are you gonna have to wash your hands? Are you going to give someone a yeast infection if you are if you don't do it fully, like I prefer, like things you can get on toothpicks. That's great. So you just pick it out. You don't have to touch the food or one bite, you're done. 34:54 I do eventually want to do a cooking book or more of like a hosting book, like how to host a sex party. And I'd be like, you know, hosting For threesomes, foursomes and more Sims and it just be like, how to set up your home how to like do all the things that you want to create is a great title kind of like the guide to like hosting your own sex parties. Because it just there is a lot you learn within this phase but especially with this type of thing, like more people are interested in it. People ask me all the time, like, Oh, I want to host my own even members are regularly like hosting their own things. So yeah, I feel a guidebook would be really great. 35:24 How about BYOD bring your own toys that a thing that's encouraged. 35:27 Yeah, that's encouraged. That's definitely a thing. I mean, we have some, like, impact toys that are available because they're not insertion toys. So it's like, easy to have them here. But yeah, always bring your own toys. And I would say the one thing that we get asked for the most is like pegging devices, like everyone wants to peg or like every woman Oh, not everyone, but like a lot of women want to like have the strap ons and like run around the house and like play with other women. So bring your own pegging devices. 35:52 Okay, so I know that you know, you can't divulge stuff that happens within your club, obviously, but you know, you Have a history now of going to sex clubs and you know you to Allison, what are some of the craziest or most interesting or fascinating things that you guys have ever seen? I don't know or experience I've heard about a clown sex orgy at this point. So 36:12 yeah, there's definitely a context for it. I mean, I think it's a it's interesting like i've you know, had women who like walk in they're specifically looking for gangbanger like I'm here to have a gangbang. And it's like, okay, and you just like kind of see them, like just really approaching people and be like, you, you you and just like going for that type of thing. That sounds so nice. I went to another party where this guy was getting fisted by his girlfriend and she was like, had gloves on was missing him and he was holding a little mirror with his feet, so you can see it. So he was like, kind of positioning itself and like looking at what she's doing. Yeah, it was it seemed very dangerous. 36:49 Wasn't there someone around who could hold it for him? 36:51 Right, you know, but they were like on the bed doing their thing. 36:54 This is why friends help. 36:56 It's like, hey, can someone hold this mirror while I get tested? That was interesting. When I do a big birthday party called All Saints Day. It's a sack religious celebration where everyone is required to dress religiously. So you get to see things like, you know, Rabbi, you know, fucking someone in a job, you get to see lots of Catholic people getting together and fucking you get to see like everyone in costume kind of, you know, living out a lot of good press feelings and being okay with it. So that one's always interesting. And we hope that you know, once a year, it's about 300 400 people. And yeah, it's just like a big birthday celebration, but also like this big massive performance type thing. So I think there I've definitely seen some of the most interesting things because everyone's in costume and you're like, Okay, this is crazy. But you have someone like dresses a Buddha like giving head to, you know, some dude in a Mormon outfit. 37:48 Of course, someone there is like, No, I have to represent all religions. So they put on a call lander on their top of the head, as opposed to farion 37:56 Yeah, I mean, we have, there's like witches as people dressed. Like Jedi eyes. It's an Jedi is an actual religion. So that's fine. Is it? Yeah, it's a tax free organization. You can be an official Jedi and believe in middle kondia and like the whole Jedi practice, and it's a tax free organization. 38:14 I've met the guy who runs the church of bacon. Yeah. 38:18 So I don't believe it's tax free. I think I was more of like, are you see nonprofit? I think 38:22 it might be a non profit. I know you could definitely get ordained as a minister to marry people. 38:27 Yeah, there's 38:28 there's also dude ism. That's a new one that came out. Yes. Off the dude from The Big Lebowski. God, I hate that movie. Yeah. 38:37 Hey, the porn parody of it was fantastic. 38:40 I hope it was better than the movie. Actually. Yes. 38:43 That's what I figured. Let's see what other crazy churches are there. I'm looking for church of cannabis. That's another one that's out there. There's that one evangelical church that believes everyone should they get married to the AK 47 are there the assault rifles, that's one and there's also one that does Let's look it up. There's someone actually dressed up like that for the last All Saints say they like wear these sashes and they take photos with their rifles and it's like a whole church like blessing because they brought their rifles to church. I think it's really I don't want to 39:13 have a pin that says NRA on it. 39:17 There's a lot of crazy religious things out there that just get away with a lot of bad things for the most part, 39:25 then Tom Cruise strolls in because he has to rep Scientology, 39:29 Tom Cruise's that the orgy 39:31 that's a downer. And then we've got like Eyes Wide Shut happening, and it's so bad times for everyone. 39:37 So as far as the themes, I love the concept of themed orgies. And I was trying to think to myself, if I had an orgy, how would I want to themed and I don't know, I mean, I tried coming up with some but I don't know if I could ever run them by me. Maybe Daniel, you can like for example, you can have a group of people having sex in an elevator called the up and coming club. That's hard. 40:01 They only get the amount of time they have to go up and down the elevator to get their stuff go 40:05 and help her in a tall building or a very short one depending on their company. 40:10 Let's see what the Empire State buildings up to if we can rent the elevator for a night. 40:13 I'm sure you could probably do like even a Model UN themed one where you have sex from people from every different country. 40:18 I feel we're already doing that we have really good representation of people. Like it's really not everyone's 40:23 from Djibouti and Bhutan. I don't understand. 40:25 You and base one will be fun. Like we just need one for each country. The first person who rsvps for Russia gets it and the first person RSVP is for this country gets in and like just keep going down the list. 40:37 That'd be really cool. That would 40:39 be really interesting is like if you're stealing, like we're getting maybe make make that happen. 40:45 Oh, you need to do one that's all breakfast themed. 40:48 We do that Saturday morning cartoons. Oh, 40:50 it's a missed opportunity to call it The Breakfast Club. 40:52 That's good too. We used to do one where it's more of like a after hours thing. So it was like Sunday morning and we'd play like Saturday morning cartoons. And have like a whole thing of like cereal of like multiple, like every single you can imagine and like all this breakfast stuff and it would just be like chill and fuck and watch cartoons. We don't do that anymore 41:14 Have you guys seen by the way like the Kellogg's space in Union Square? 41:18 Yeah What is I don't 41:20 know. So Kellogg's cereal company rents out this massive space which you know i would love if you could just rent it out for an orgy because it would be perfect if you continue doing those specifically themed cereal and you know cartoon ones if you ever wanted I know but I'm just saying if you want work because they have like a huge two cans, Sam in the background. They already have all the cereals there. They even have these chairs that are swings so sex swings are already 41:48 there. That's perfect. I mean, yeah, we'll contact Kellogg's I think they've you make this work. 41:53 What else are they doing? 41:56 Some cross promotion 41:57 market to the next generation. 41:59 You Do you want to get those millennials back? Remind them that they can eat cereal after sex? 42:04 What else is Count chocula? Therefore a little sucky. 42:08 Not so bad, 42:10 like, blueberry balls. 42:14 I know like it's not gonna get any better. No, no. 42:18 I like I still want to know like this moment or set of moments that made you realize that what was happening within your family's religion was not for you, and how you got over that and how long that took? I think it was Jurassic Park. 42:33 Like once I saw Jurassic Park and realize that evolution is probably real, it kind of made everything else fall apart. For a long time I was taught that dinosaur bones and other evidence of prehistoric life was just the devil putting things in the world to confuse us and to get us away from God. But after seeing Jurassic Park, I mean, I saw that T Rex, I think was real. It was all downhill from there. Really. pretty great. I love it dinosaurs doesn't really work with a hyper Christian religion. 43:06 Have you considered ever doing a dinosaur themed sex party? 43:11 See, this is Alice This is what I'm talking about Jurassic World triple X has been out now for like a month and a half and I was like, should we watch it? Or are we watching a porn and you were like, no, but we could have watched Jurassic World triple x for this. Yeah, and they're in full dyno costume. When I asked you if we were watching anything that sounds like 43:32 is there a peg us or acid? Because I haven't watched it because you were like, We don't need a porn for this one. Okay, fine. Then we'll find someone to review Jurassic Park themed porn because I need to know if there's a mega sore ass and it's I Oh, that's my favorite dinosaur. 43:51 Perfect, perfect. 43:53 A double directs. 43:54 You should really just pull up a screen grab from Jurassic World triple x, just like your company. Pull it up just look 44:01 okay Jurassic World parody Okay, that asks What if the dinosaurs were porn stars? Oh no. Look I'm only interested if there's a tricera Coxon. 44:15 Just get like a paleontologist and have them watch it 44:18 when we could just talk about it. This is amazing if you 44:21 are a paleontologist and want to review dinosaur porn With us to discuss how accurate or inaccurate it is info to here also Mike calm Alternatively if you know a paleontologist and you don't like them very much, email us or contact information. Oh and if you happen to know Jeff Goldblum or you are Jeff goldbloom we want to review this porn with you so email us info to my talk comm I would be okay to who knows Jeff gold blooms assistant Jeff gold blooms assistant if you are in Daniel st sex club. 44:54 We put this all out to you. We need you to watch Alexa, tell us 45:01 that'd be great. Jeff Goldblum reviews Jurassic World triple except for your quality stuff. 45:05 You know, he performs in a like a jazz club in LA at least once a month. My friends go get a hit show. Just a couple weeks, 45:13 we'll be talking about the recto Saurus. Yeah, I can't stop. I'm sorry. 45:18 Okay. It's okay. You're helping me sort out my Christmas card problem. So it's this year is like, what do I do with my Christmas card a couple years ago, it was like Santa Claus, but a dick here before that it was the manger scene, but everyone was decks and this year I like I want to paint it, scan it in and then mail it out. But I don't have my full concept yet. 45:39 I'm just now picturing tons of people wearing that classic T rex costume. But with a deck hanging out like an inflatable deck 45:47 or like a real deck or what do we think a real toe? But would it be attached to the person wearing it or would they have gotten it from something else? 45:56 It could be a cutout? Could it be like one of the bad dragon dildos Yeah, 46:02 you know, it'd be great if we could set up the the AIG one and the one that inserts the AIG but have it become like an automatic thing and you could run around in that shooting those jello eggs at people and just reloading from inside the dinosaur costume. That would be a great Easter thing for you to do Daniel, like put the egg toss but that 46:21 I think dinosaurs for Easter Make sense? Like it actually works 100% sense I used to go to a party that was just for Easter. It was like the bad bunnies club or something else like that. And it's basically you'd go through this obstacle course of things you'd have to do so one was like they'd paint your butt with easter eggs. One was like this really badass like Easter Bunny Dom who would like put you through things and like basically bunny training, you go through bunny training with like a tail on your back. And they put you in cages initially and like load you up and they're like, come up bunnies and like you go around through all these activities. It's pretty fun. You have to get all six stamps of all the activities that they do 46:59 you know I feel like easter egg hunts are kind of a newer thing that only happened like the last 1520 years I don't know or maybe I just never did it was during it when I was little. Okay, I never did it. Where'd you grow up though? New Jersey. There you go seems like a place I'm happy sir x. 47:13 No New Jersey does not get fun things. 47:18 No, we get Italian. Yeah, exactly. That's what I meant. 47:22 Sort of finding eggs. It was always finding pizza. I never understood it. It's very weird. So Daniel, where can our listeners find you find more of you or your sex club? 47:32 It's NSFW calm. That's the main site for everything. Pro sex is I'm pro sex work which is the bigger initiative that we have and that we're pushing forward now. And then I'm just Daniel st on everything I say ymt. 47:47 And Alison, thank you for joining us our guest host today. where can our listeners find you under their bed? drooling, 47:54 really erotic drooling under their bed when I'm not there, you Find me at that. mcknight.com that's midnight with ck not just to see and on Twitter occasionally also at that McKnight Well, I hope to find you under my bed drooling. Looking at you. 48:13 It's an open invitation. Oh, 48:15 is there room under there? How much room 48:19 many other people are under their hours? 48:22 What is going on? It's always Jeff Goldblum and Richard Edinburg. And what about Joseph Gordon Levitt? Fair enough? I'm under that bed. 48:31 Five minutes. 48:33 Sam Neil can be pushed to the side. No, no, I was just I just watched in the mouth of madness. He's got to stay right there. 48:39 Gonna be like one of the better afternoons 48:42 and you guys can find me Alice at rational blonde on Twitter. But you guys can always find us next week. By the way, leave us a comment or review on Twitter, iTunes, wherever you guys are listening to this and tell all your friends because you're not they need this information. 49:00 true friends, these are fuck tell them. 49:03 Quick, quick edition Daniel, where can people apply to join? NSFW 49:09 just for the website? It's like ns dash f w calm for slash join. And you can also like review. We have a bunch of our reviews and you know, people's stories and stuff I haven't shared and just like an understanding of like how big it is, in a sense, like it gets you through, and then the applications are right there. 49:25 Okay. And if you are someone who reviews his sex club, please review mostly the themes. That's what I want to know. I'm holding you up to the United Nations theme though. 49:35 I mean, I've been really thinking about the dinosaur thing for Easter. That's hilarious. Like that 49:40 would be really cool. And what's great is I think they give you an egg mold, which means you can get some plastic mosquitoes and do half the mold put the plastic mosquito and and do the other half the mold. That's pretty cool. 49:52 It's like, it's just like, 49:53 Yeah, but it's eggs and you just go around, you could fire I don't know. I love event planning. This is the thing. I do. That would be amazing. 50:02 If you're an event planner who needs a career change event plans, sex clubs, and 50:08 that's so hard. All right. 50:10 Well, guys, thanks for joining us this week. Thank you so much. Thank you. All right. Bye bye Transcribed by https://otter.ai

2 Loka 201950min