"Just Tell Me What You Need Me To Do!" Resentment From Having to Remind or Delegate Responsibilities to Your Partner: Episode 238

"Just Tell Me What You Need Me To Do!" Resentment From Having to Remind or Delegate Responsibilities to Your Partner: Episode 238

Having frustrations and feelings of resentment over your roles and responsibilities is a common thing we hear. One parter is frustrated about not getting help, then the response they get is: "just tell me what you need me to do" OR "I'm happy to help, just tell me what" OR sometimes "it's your job, you stay at home, I work, so just get it done".

This is frustrating for both partners, and triggers defensivness and often a conflict. This is because:

  • For the partner having to remind: it feels like it's one person's responsibility to "own" the housework. It can feel like parenting your partner.
  • For the partner feeling blindsided: I just don't see those things, I wish you'd tell me before you get so frustrated, they feel like a lot of emotion comes at them suddenly.

In this episode you will hear the main sources of this dynamic and what you can do differently to get back on the same page and feeling supported and loved in the roles and responsibilities you choose.

Resources For Your Relationship:

Get $50 OFF The Live Couples Workshop which now you can attend from anywhere in the world, to enhance your communication skills together

Order our book, The Argument Hangover, and get over $200 of free bonus gifts (like the mini course and a 90 minute training)

Jaksot(436)

The Science of Stress, Anger & Connection—How to Heal the Family System with Dr. Taz Bhatia: Episode 420

The Science of Stress, Anger & Connection—How to Heal the Family System with Dr. Taz Bhatia: Episode 420

Have you ever thought about how your own stress affects your kids — or how your parents' stress might still be affecting you? In this powerful conversation with Dr. Taz Bhatia, integrative medicine ph...

28 Loka 202543min

When the 'Needing Space' and 'Needing Resolution' Partners Marry Each Other: Episode 419

When the 'Needing Space' and 'Needing Resolution' Partners Marry Each Other: Episode 419

It seems like the "I need more space" and "I need to talk this out now" partners always find each other! This is the basis of the Pursuer/Withdrawer as well as the Anxious/Avoidant partner dynamics in...

21 Loka 202529min

The 4 D's That Create Division in a Marriage: Episode 418

The 4 D's That Create Division in a Marriage: Episode 418

Division isn't just a problem in the world—it's creeping into homes, marriages, and families everywhere. When couples start turning against each other instead of standing together, the bond that once ...

14 Loka 202525min

The Difference Between Productive and Unproductive Communication: Episode 417

The Difference Between Productive and Unproductive Communication: Episode 417

Many times in marriage, you can start what you think is a simple conversation and have it turn into a miscommunication or even a conflict. It is frustrating when you are trying to simply communicate s...

8 Loka 202514min

Do Spouses Need to Validate Every Feeling or Emotional Upset? Episode 416

Do Spouses Need to Validate Every Feeling or Emotional Upset? Episode 416

When emotions run high in marriage, one of the most common traps couples fall into is what to do with each other's feelings. Should you validate them? Should you challenge them? Or should you just off...

30 Syys 202520min

Hormones, Sleep, Alcohol & Perimenopause: How to Age Gracefully Together with Dr. Amy Shah: Episode 415

Hormones, Sleep, Alcohol & Perimenopause: How to Age Gracefully Together with Dr. Amy Shah: Episode 415

After our recent intimacy series, there were dozens of follow up questions from you all asking us to dive further into normal hormonal changes as we age and proactive steps you can take to age gracefu...

23 Syys 202542min

Are Spouses Becoming Too Selfish? What a Healthy Marriage Actually Requires That Media Isn't Telling You: Episode 414

Are Spouses Becoming Too Selfish? What a Healthy Marriage Actually Requires That Media Isn't Telling You: Episode 414

Are we getting too self-focused in marriage? In this episode, we unpack the cultural messages that push hyper-individualism ("fill your cup first") and show why great marriages are actually built on m...

16 Syys 202534min

10 Lessons From 10 Years of Marriage: The Highs, Lows, and What No One Prepares You For: Episode 413

10 Lessons From 10 Years of Marriage: The Highs, Lows, and What No One Prepares You For: Episode 413

This week marks our 10-year wedding anniversary and if we're being honest, the months leading up to it weren't easy. Research even shows that around the 10-year mark, couples hit peak dissatisfaction....

9 Syys 20251h 15min

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