We Choose Our Responses & They Define Our Lived Experience w/ Yale Director of Emotional Intelligence Marc Brackett

We’re in an age when prescription drugs and surgeries are prescribed with little hesitation, especially in the American “healthcare” system. Yet most health minded people, like you who listen to this Self-Helpful podcast, are not so eager to just accept a pill or to go under the knife. I’ve been prone to boycott such things. But my dear friend Randy James, our resident Medical Doctor and Functional Medicine Expert, has taught me there are times when these methodologies are helpful and even necessary. This is my Functional Friday episode where we focus on our health and wellness so we have the physical and mental capacity to help ourselves and others…and today we talk about prescription drugs and surgeries. In a perfect world with perfect health, we’d not need such things. But it’s not a perfect world and none of us can be in perfect health. Sometimes we get injured or sick and relatively broken and then, pharmaceuticals and surgeries are life savers. We’d just like to see those times as very few and very far between. And when they are needed, what can you do to prepare yourself for the best outcomes? The Self-Help(ful) podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches to help leaders and top performers excel professionally and personally. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

25 Marras 20221h 24min

How often do we see a movie depict someone bumbling along, not doing so well, lacking in a lot of personal areas…then a big incident happens, and they quickly rise to the occasion, going from hero to zero. I wonder what percentage of movies depict this, the hero story. So we all tune in to all the self-help info, like this podcast, to try and become the hero. But isn’t it interesting that they don’t show this in the movie. They don’t show the person bumbling along and then years of personal development happen to create them into better people. They incident happens. A purpose. And they just get up and forget about themselves to a big degree, and become what’s needed to overcome whatever the incident is. The purpose is what refines them. This is the message of Lynne Twist who I’m back with to discuss her personal values, motives, and habits in the key areas of life fulfillment. You’ll hear, over and over again, how it’s her purpose that directs every area of her life and drives her. You will not…hear any pithy claims or directives, just her humble recount of what she values and how she practices that value…and she comes back over and over to her purpose. Lynne talks about her "unrelenting stand for the possibility of life." Her efforts to have appreciation for her life. Her belief in the omnipotence we all have for the conversations in our life. She sees her body as an instrument she must take care of and in her 70s she's doing parcourse. We really get into her mentioning how you can pick up on someone's mood long before we pick up on their attitude, and I've continued to talk about and ponder this. This and so much more... It’s an incredibly intriguing and for me, convicting conversation. Find Lynne Twist’s brand new book, “Living a Committed LIfe” anywhere, and connect with her at Soulofmoney.org.  The Self-Help(ful) podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches to help leaders and top performers excel professionally and personally. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

23 Marras 202258min

We as people tend to think of learning and training and preparing, so that…we can commit to something truly big and worthy. A grand purpose. My guest today argues, in the most compassionate way possible, we have it backwards, and that the greatest people ever known simply committed to something they believed in, and the journey within it is what made them great. It crafted and honed them. The challenge and trials and triumphs along the way is what refined them. Then the charge is not to prepare to commit, but to commit now, and become what the commitment requires, along the way. My guest is Lynne Twist, a recognized global visionary and legendary humanitarian. Lynne wowed the world with her first book, The Soul of Money, but I have her on the show for her brand new book releasing currently, "Living a Committed Life: Finding Freedom and Fulfillment in a Purpose Larger Than Yourself.” That’s what caught me, this 180 look at making big commitments. That again, the greats, like Ghandi, didn’t prepare to change the world. They just committed to it and the effort formed them into the people big enough to do it.  Lynne’s story is the same, as her journey began when she heard about the The Hunger Project where their goal was to end world hunger, and knew she was supposed to devote her life to it. She spent a decade there and has influenced more people through more humanitarian efforts than nearly anyone. Lynne has been an advisor to the Desmond Tutu Foundation. The United Nations honored her with a “Woman of Distinction” award. From working with Mother Teresa in Calcutta to the refugee camps in Ethiopia and the threatened rainforests of the Amazon, Lynne’s on-the-ground work has brought her a deep understanding of the social tapestry of the world and the historical landscape of the times we are living in. Over the past 40 years Lynne has worked with over 100,000 people in 50 countries in the arenas of fundraising with integrity, conscious philanthropy, strategic visioning and having a healthy relationship with money. Find Lynne Twist’s brand new book, “Living a Committed LIfe” anywhere, and connect with her at Soulofmoney.org. The Self-Help(ful) podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches to help leaders and top performers excel professionally and personally. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

21 Marras 20221h 5min

Here we are striving to motivate and instigate our own good health, and then we have our kids. The cultural norm is to just let them eat, and what they want to eat is what the food industry pumps out to their taste buds. Which I get. As a kid I was eating Lucky Charms and Captain Crunch for breakfast and in my teenage years thought Cheerios and Life cereal were health food. Inspiring kids to eat and live healthy is a massive level of effort. But then, what is our goal? This is my Functional Friday episode where we focus on our health and wellness so we have the physical and mental capacity to help ourselves and others…and today we talk about what we want for our kids. What responsibility do we take for their well being? Are you hoping your kid will someday move out, get a great education, land a job or start a business, make money and raise a family? Then how do we equip them for that? There are no easy answers and in this show Dr James and I discuss the challenges and consequences of fostering wellness in our kids. For context, my cohost Randy James, Medical Doctor and Functional Medicine expert, has three kids in his home between 16 and 12, I have five at home between 17 and 10. And please let me tell you it is always a struggle, so rest assured you won’t hear us brag about our kids happily eating raw carrots and hummus for every meal. But friends I’ve seen the battles with kids and spouses completely sabotage someone's efforts at wellness. This is a big show. The Self-Help(ful) podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches to help leaders and top performers excel professionally and personally. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

18 Marras 20221h 15min

Going without close relationships is like going without water. It dehydrates our life and ultimately we’ll die. A slow death of the soul. Yet when we rely on those relationships for our self worth we endure a similar death of the soul. It’s like needing water for life, but drowning in it. This is part 3 of my focus on Melody Beattie, legendary author of Codependent No More. Here I’m with my frequent co-host and dear friend, Randy James, Medical Doctor and Functional Medicine expert and we get real with how to grapple with this tension in our actual lives. A common perspective in close relationships, especially marriages and significant others, is a literal joining of lives. Where “two become one.” But how do we translate this? Is it two separate lives joining to live a new life together, or do the individuals disappear and all that exists are the lives in union? That’s one issue. Another is our self-worth, and the health and necessity to have it in and of ourselves. We naturally look to others to tell us of our worth, starting with our parents and early caregivers, then on to schoolmates, teachers and authority figures, but ultimately most of us land with a significant otherwise devote to and unfortunately, often rely on to give us all the affirmations, acceptance and approval we desire. And this is a recipe for failure. Then there is the issue of loving others. We all valiantly strive to serve and love others, yet generally miss loving ourselves. Can we truly love others more and beyond loving ourselves? It doesn’t generally pan out. This is our discussion and grappling today. The Self-Help(ful) podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches to help leaders and top performers excel professionally and personally. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

16 Marras 20221h 6min

If you could choose right now what tomorrow would look like, if you had complete freedom, would you rather be consumed with something you are interested in, or be entertained? Really think about it. And you can take it further if you feel exhausted and would just love a day of entertainment. For how long? Two days? A week? A month? I ask because I’m back for part 2 with Melodie Beattie, legendary self-help pioneer and famed author of Codependent No More and we’re talking through her personal Values, Motives & Habits. In regards to spirituality and her overall ethos and purpose of life she said, “My job is to make life interesting, not have life entertained.” Now, I like some good entertainment as much as anyone. I love getting into a great story in a fiction book or movie. Yet I’m aware that when I’m highly interested in something I have little time for entertainment, and when I do read or watch something entertaining, it’s generally about people who are completely interested in something…a cause or mission or purpose. So would you rather voyeuristically watch people interested in something, or be the person interested in something? On a similar note, Melody shared how she keeps a barometer on herself regarding service to others and said, “If I get too selfish my life stops working well” and it showcases her primary interest in…people. I also appreciated her quip to me, saying, “You want the truth or want me to make something up?” She’s as real as they come. Which is why at age 74 one of her personal joys is listening to the Rolling Stones. You can get her newly revised and updated Codependent No More book…anywhere, as it’s currently at the top of the bestseller charts. The Self-Help(ful) podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches to help leaders and top performers excel professionally and personally. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

14 Marras 202248min

We as humans are driven by our appetites. Yet much of the health and wellness culture is around curbing and suppressing our appetites, and for the most part, it’s just a recipe for failure. Today my cohost Randy James, Medical Doctor and Functional Medicine expert discuss our personal belief. And it is that we will seldom succeed in squelching our appetites, and we…don’t. I love feeding my appetites and one of the things that adds joy to my life is great food and drink. Our goal is to strive to upgrade and elevate our appetites. This is my Functional Friday episode where we focus on our health and wellness so we have the physical and mental capacity to help ourselves and others. Regarding appetites, our goal is to try to evolve and grow our appetites to crave more life giving food and less life taking foods. As a pro cyclist my evenings often consisted of walking down to the 7 Eleven in Ft Collins to get a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, and a 4-pack of Reese's Cups for the walk home. I still have that appetite, but today I fill it with some dark chocolate and sea salt covered almonds and a glass of red wine. Would I be better to not snack after dinner at all? Probably. But I’m just not going to. I love feeding my appetites. I’d also like a big bowl of popped corn, but my body doesn’t like corn and eating it disrupts my sleep. So I do some salty nuts or some bean or cauliflower chips to get my salt fix. You get the idea. How can you imbibe your appetites and still have the health and wellness you desire. The Self-Help(ful) podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches to help leaders and top performers excel professionally and personally. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

11 Marras 202259min

You are codependent. So am I. So is everyone, to a degree. We are humans and we innately look for the A’s from other people; approval, affirmation, attention, and acceptance. How codependent we are relates to how much we need those A’s to feel ok about ourselves. It’s nice to get them, but are we ok without them? Can we be at peace without desperately needing positive feedback from other people? The answer is yes and this show will discuss how. With me is…Melody Beattie. Yes, the famed author of Codependent No More. Melody is literally cited as one of the pioneers of the self-help movement. Her breakthrough book still remains the resource on codependency and after 7 million sales she’s revised and updated it. Newsweek name Codependent No More one of the four essential self-help books of all time. Melody actually added a chapter on trauma to this revised edition and it’s at the top of the best seller charts, once again. I could not be more honored to have her on the show and as usual, I dig into the questions I have for myself regarding codependency. When I asked her about her own life regrets, she flatly stated, “I regret that I've spent much of my life ragging on myself for not being enough.” This is a thoughtful, pondering discussion with Melody where her compassion for herself and others will pour through.  The Self-Help(ful) podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches to help leaders and top performers excel professionally and personally. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

9 Marras 202256min