We Choose Our Responses & They Define Our Lived Experience w/ Yale Director of Emotional Intelligence Marc Brackett

#973: The self-help and personal development world gives primary focus to increasing our performance so we can achieve greater successes in our lives. And it’s true we all are capable of more. Nobody is performing at their max capacity. But we won’t outperform the level of ability we believe about ourselves and all we have to go on is the proof of what we have and haven’t done thus far. It brings to mind Roger Banister breaking the four minute mile mark in running, which was deemed humanly impossible, but more importantly the four other runners who then did it within a year. All that changed is once they believed running a sub four minute mile was possible, they did it. Prior, they could not. Most of us are sitting where we are and desiring greater performance from ourselves but unable to see ourselves being at a higher level. If someone came along and ran a diagnostic test on us and said they had proof we could do it we would in short order. But that won’t likely happen, so how can we get ourselves to really see ourselves as a higher performer? To have a performance upgrade we need an upgrade to our identity. I have Anthony Trucks on with me in this episode to talk about it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

7 Maalis 20221h 10min

#972: Have you ever fully considered exactly why you work at the job you have now? Or why you chose the career you’re in? Or even why you have the current business you own? I asked this question to Ziglar listeners, which by the way I invite you to give your feedback, just friend me on facebook at agentkmiller. The responses ranged from the valiant and purposeful intent to save the world to the admission it was just a direction they were pushed or fell into. The latter doesn’t mean they ended up in a bad place, but the exercise itself caused a lot of pondering. It may cause you to feel confirmed, or uncover it’s time to think about why you’re doing what you are and consider if this is where you want to be and remain. So join Tom Ziglar and I as we talk through some of the comments and the realities of why we all end up doing the work we do, and how to pursue the work we actually want to do. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

2 Maalis 20221h 13min

I’m back with NYT bestselling author and top TED speaker, Dan Pink to walk through his personal habits for success, and this habits show had a twist. Coming off our talk in episode 969 where we discussed regrets, which is the topic of his brand new book, The Power of Regret, I asked him how his research on regrets changed any of his habits. What you heard in that intro clip was him leading off with his top one, Connection regrets, and now reaching out to people more. We hit on some other habits he’s changed as a result of this regrets focus, such as he realized in the Foundation regrets piece he’s actually been too frugal over his lifetime. I also found the irony in him citing he lived in a busy urban area and prefers running on a treadmill, especially since he fell on a sidewalk while running and now has a bent pinky. Dan Pink with…a bent pinky. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

28 Helmi 202232min

Following up from my conversation with Dan Pink regarding the message in his new book, “The Power of Regrets”, Tom Ziglar and I went through the exercise of listing out some of our regrets and what we learned from them. And are still learning. And finding some regrets where we haven’t fully considered the lessons learned, which is very much the point. As Dan Pink points out in his book, regrets have power when we use them to learn, as opposed to denying them and being a “no regrets” person, or wallowing in them and living in guilt and shame. This episode really helped bring Tom and I to revisiting our past mistakes and what we have learned or can be learning. I think you’ll gain some insight you can benefit from to redeem your past mistakes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

24 Helmi 202255min

#969: “No regrets” is an American slogan along with “No Fear” and “Just Do It.” Yet more often than not we don’t just do it, having no fear is psychopathic, and having no regrets means you have no sorrow for ever hurting anyone or making a mistake. Regret is simply recognizing sadness or disappointment about something we did we wish we hadn’t, or we didn’t do and wish we had, and Dan Pink’s research showcases it’s a massive power if we’ll recognize it and learn from it. Not as he said, reject it or wallow in it. This is my second time having Dan on the show. He’s a multi-best selling author, and when I say best selling, I don’t mean one day on an obscure Amazon book category like Amish Romance, but the actual New York Times bestseller list. You’ll likely recognize his books such as A Whole New Mind, Drive, To Sell Is Human, and When. His books have sold millions of copies, have been translated into forty-two languages. He also has a TED talk titled “The Puzzle of Motivation” which has somewhere north of 30 million views. Dan is an author like Brene’ Brown who leads with research, and he’s now turned his focus to regrets with his new book, The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward. I asked him bak on the show the moment I saw the book title and you’re about to hear me dig in with him on how we can harness regret for our progress, not suffer or run from it. Find The Power of Regret anywhere you get books and connect with Dan at danpink.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

21 Helmi 202251min

#968: Tom Ziglar is a very sought after speaker and as he just returned from one engagement and was preparing for another and talking to me about the topics, I asked him to have a conversation with me about it and to share it with you. He discussed the “perfect start” concept he shared with an association of county fair leaders, the “pre” pre-call planning he will be discussing with a group of sales professionals, and the lessons from the near tragedy of Qantas Flight 32 he just wanted us all to hear, which was a focus in planning the intent and outcome we have for every human engagement we have. We kick off with a little shop talk on public speaking you will want to hear if you are in the business of influencing! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

16 Helmi 202245min

#967: I wanted to talk about calling. I keep seeing people get wrapped up in trying to find…feeling they must find, this elusive, one-thing, holy grail calling on their life and I wanted to relieve the tension and pressure and showcase that our ultimate calling or purpose is not so narrow. It’s something everyone has and it’s something you do in all roles of your life. This frees you up from thinking you have one, special application to apply this…calling. And what is a true calling anyway? So I brought on one of the world’s premier experts on the subject, especially as it relates to your vocation, job, career, business…however you label it. That expert is…Dan Miller. Yes. We’re related. He’s my Dad. Bestselling author and renowned career coach of 48 Days To The Work You Love. Finding your calling and supporting it in your work is what he’s devoted his life to. You can find out more at 48days.com. Dig in more with each episode at kevinmiller.co Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

14 Helmi 202258min

#966: Anyone listening to this show is interested in giving and serving people. This is where we find our greatest fulfillment of purpose. We serve our families, friends, and everyone we can through our work, and some go further and volunteer in different capacities. But how do we view serving? Is it a zero sum game? Is it like Shel Silverstein’s book, The Giving Tree, and every piece we give away we lose until we are nothing but a stump? In this episode we take aim at this. Not whether to give and serve or not, but the spirit in which we do it. Do we treat it like a privilege and joy? Or a burden. My opinion is…we are all on the spectrum between these two perspectives and higher and lower in some areas we serve. And when we get closer to burden, we are risking bitterness and burnout. Is it more valiant to press on and give out of the scraps we have left in our heart? Or sometimes, stop. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

9 Helmi 202254min