218: Lashing Out, Shutting Down: How to Help When She’s Triggered

218: Lashing Out, Shutting Down: How to Help When She’s Triggered

Want help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome your pornography use?

Click here to book a free call with Sam to get help to overcome pornographyhttps://stopporn.info/

Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?

Email me here:

sam@healingcouples.org

Episode show notes:

Even after months of progress, one small trigger can make everything feel like it’s falling apart — a look, a memory, a tone — and suddenly all the safety you’ve been building in your porn addiction recovery feels shaky again.

In this episode, I talk about what’s really happening in those moments when a porn trigger hits and your whole system goes into panic mode. I’ll help you understand why triggers don’t mean you’ve failed, and why they’re actually a normal part of the porn recovery process.

I’ll share the “Falling Tiles” analogy I use with clients to explain what’s going on beneath the surface, and how emotional safety, consistency, and small moments of follow-through are what create real freedom from pornography, not just temporary self-control.

We’ll cover:

  • Why triggers are a normal part of porn addiction recovery — not a setback
  • What happens in your brain and body when old fears resurface
  • How to rebuild emotional safety after a pornography trigger
  • Why trust sometimes collapses even when things are going well
  • How to help your partner feel safe again without convincing or defending

Whether you’re working to overcome porn addiction, heal from pornography use, or rebuild trust in your relationship, this episode will help you make sense of the ups and downs and show you how to find steady ground again — not through willpower, but through understanding, consistency, and connection.

Jaksot(218)

Sex: Processing Triggers, Rejection, Creating Safety and Feeling Desire

Sex: Processing Triggers, Rejection, Creating Safety and Feeling Desire

Sexual intimacy is one of the most damaged aspects of a marriage after there's been betrayal from porn addiction. Yet most couples, don't know how to restore intimacy in a healthy way, navigate the triggers, rejection, and increase trust and desire. Listen in on an actual coaching session where I help a couple process through triggers and rejection to ultimately feel closer than they ever have together in this area. Take the tools you hear me share with them and apply them to your own situation to see growth and results in this area of your marriage as well. Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship. Want to get in touch? I'd love to hear from you! If you want help healing addiction, trauma, and the relationship, you can get in touch with me at support@healingcouples.org Feel free to submit questions or topics you'd like covered in future podcast episodes!

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Relationship Healing For Difficult Marriages

Relationship Healing For Difficult Marriages

Can you heal your marriage if he's still falling back into the addiction? What if there is abuse? And is it really safe to be doing work on the relationship early on? (Hint: it's not what you think..) I talk about each of these scenarios and help you thread the needle through how complex things can get when you're trying to heal and move forward. Want access to a free couple's course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Want to get in touch? I'd love to hear from you! If you want help healing addiction, trauma, and the relationship, you can get in touch with me at support@healingcouples.org Feel free to submit questions or topics you'd like covered in future podcast episodes!

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The Most Harmful 6-Letter Word That Prevents Permanent Healing

The Most Harmful 6-Letter Word That Prevents Permanent Healing

There is a 6 letter word that MOST people identify with and they need to stop if they want to stop watching porn for good! So if your goal is to heal from addiction or trauma, avoiding this at all costs if crucial. Want to get in touch? I'd love to hear from you! If you want help healing addiction, trauma, and the relationship, you can get in touch with me at support@healingcouples.org Feel free to submit questions or topics you'd like covered in future podcast episodes! Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

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When One Spouse HATES Talking About Feelings – Do THIS

When One Spouse HATES Talking About Feelings – Do THIS

It's true.. my wife HATES talking about how she feels.. (for real) And I know there are a lot of people out there who are married to someone who feels similar... So in this episode I explain exactly how I navigate it and still create a strong relationship with her. I give you a behind-the-scenes look into my own marriage with her with an undercover recorded conversation where I model for you how to approach a sensitive subject and handle push back. And no, the conversation we had wasn't staged.. she didn't know I did it at the time. I talked to her afterwards and she didn't care. :) Want to get in touch? I'd love to hear from you! If you want help healing addiction, trauma, and the relationship, you can get in touch with me at support@healingcouples.org Feel free to submit questions or topics you'd like covered in future podcast episodes! Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

5 Helmi 202125min

He Says He‘s Telling The Truth.. But How Can She Know

He Says He‘s Telling The Truth.. But How Can She Know

How can she know if he's telling truth? After she find out about his porn addiction, it makes her question everything.. Listen to today's episode to hear my thoughts and how you can avoid the dreaded back and forth of: Her: "I can't believe what you're saying." Him: "I'm telling you the truth."  Her: "No, you're not." Him: "Yes. I don't know what else you want me to say..." And as always, this episode is for both her AND him, because it's important for him to know how to navigate these moments too – Many times he IS telling the truth, but she can still have reservations and not believe it.   >>> Get in Touch! >> Free Course

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The Key to Unlock & Sustain His Motivation For Change

The Key to Unlock & Sustain His Motivation For Change

What should you do he is resistant to changing or fully committing to overcoming the addiction? The answer might surprise both of you.  In this episode, he will begin to see that motivation isn’t as important as everyone says it is, and she’ll discover that there’s a lot more hope for change than she expected. >>> Get in Touch! >> Free Course

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The Best Approach to Heal a Relationship Damaged By Pornography Addiction

The Best Approach to Heal a Relationship Damaged By Pornography Addiction

If you want a stronger relationship, but have been told to focus on yourself instead, this episode will be your guide to perfectly integrating both aspects. Sadly, most couples are unintentionally neglecting one of the greatest sources of healing, and I want to show you exactly how you can start to tap into and get support from this resource. >>> Get in Touch! >> Free Course

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Five Unexpected Ways She is Impacted by Pornography Addiction

Five Unexpected Ways She is Impacted by Pornography Addiction

The impact of an addiction on a partner/spouse can be significant. In this episode I share 5 of the most commonly-seen affects addiction has on her and what she can do to start the healing process. >>> Free Course

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