How to Feel More Secure in Your Relationship | LHS Classic E251

How to Feel More Secure in Your Relationship | LHS Classic E251

If you’ve ever questioned where you stand with your partner or second-guessed their love, this will help you feel more grounded, connected, and secure. This episode first aired on June 21, 2021 (Episode 251), and I’m bringing it back because so many of you said it hit home. Ever replayed a conversation, overread a text, or felt on edge when your partner seemed distracted even when nothing was “wrong”? That kind of relationship anxiety can keep you chasing reassurance. I’m joined by my colleague Georgi, a marriage and family therapist on our Growing Self team, to talk about why security can feel slippery and what it takes to build emotional safety that lasts. We look at how attachment injuries, big and small, quietly shape how you show up in love. Early experiences, broken trust, and even subtle disappointments can make connection feel risky and drive patterns like jealousy, anger, or withdrawal. Together, we talk about interrupting those cycles, hearing what your anxiety is trying to say, and inviting your partner into repair with curiosity rather than blame. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction: Why It’s Hard to Feel Secure in Your Relationship 07:05 How Attachment Shapes Emotional Safety and Trust 10:40 When Insecurity Shows Up as Anger or Jealousy 18:50 What Fuels Insecurity: Attachment Injuries and Unmet Needs 26:25 Inviting Your Partner In and Re-building Connection 30:35 Responding With Empathy Instead of Defensiveness 35:40 The House Analogy: Re-building Trust Brick by Brick 37:15 Emotional Safety as the Core of a Healthy Relationship As you listen, notice what shows up for you. When anxiety spikes, what story starts running—and how do you usually respond? Do you shut down, reach for control, or start hunting for proof that you’re okay? Try pausing to ask what you truly need in that moment: comfort, reassurance, or a steadier sense of safety within yourself. If communication is adding to the tension, try my Communication that Connects Masterclass. It’s a simple way to step out of those conflict loops and have conversations that build understanding. It includes a workbook so you can practice right away! You might also like my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? quiz. It’s quick, gives you language for what’s happening, and points to where your relationship could use more care. Want ongoing support between episodes? Find me on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. I share fresh tools and encouragement to help you create the love, happiness, and success you deserve. If this episode sparked something, or an idea for a future topic, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

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#53 - How To Love Yourself

#53 - How To Love Yourself

We all hear “You have to love yourself first.” But what if you don't know how to love yourself?  This episode is all about authentic self love: What it really means, why having compassion and care for yourself matters so much, and how to love yourself even if (and especially if) you don't always feel like it. You are worthy of love and respect, and today's podcast will help you build your relationship... with yourself. With love and gratitude for the gift that is YOU,  xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com P.S. — For even more support in creating a healthy, loving relationship with yourself, check out my “cultivating self-confidence” collection. You'll find articles and advice about confidence and self-esteem, plus podcast playlists I put together for you.

25 Touko 20201h 12min

#196 - How to Get Unstuck When You're Feeling Trapped

#196 - How to Get Unstuck When You're Feeling Trapped

Feeling Trapped? When you're in a situation you're unhappy in but feel that the exits are blocked and that you have no good options, it's easy to feel trapped. Perhaps you're in an unhappy relationship, but can't leave. Or you feel forced to stay in a job you hate. Or your circumstances are limiting your empowerment and growth. When change feels futile, or impossible, it's easy to feel helpless, disempowered, and trapped. Does this sound familiar at all? If so, you're not alone. We all hit a wall sometimes. The good news is that there is a way out. Through using your creativity and giving yourself permission to entertain new thoughts, you'll either find new solutions... or inner peace. Listen, and learn about how to get unstuck when you're feeling trapped on this episode of the podcast.  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

18 Touko 202025min

#195 - How to Stop a Divorce

#195 - How to Stop a Divorce

Is your partner threatening divorce? Are you? If so this is certainly a relationship crisis... but not necessarily the end. In fact, when couples are on the brink of divorce, it can be a turning point for a marriage. On this episode, I'm sharing some from-the-heart advice learned from my years as a marriage counselor about things you can do to stop this runaway train, and have new conversations with your partner to start the process of healing. I am also aware that there are situations where you cannot stop a divorce if your partner has made up their mind. I also have some advice for how to handle this, and offer some concrete strategies for having the healthiest and most collaborative parting as possible. I hope that all the advice helps you find your way through this confusing, and scary time, and that the path forward is one of growth for you -- no matter how things unfold. With love and respect, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

11 Touko 20201h 4min

#194 - Intentional Living... at Home

#194 - Intentional Living... at Home

Intentional Living: Without and Within On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast (as well as other episodes to come), I'm providing you with new ideas and growth activities that will help you move yourself forward on a deep level, while the world around us stops. To begin, I'm speaking with my dear Olivia, the mastermind behind Decluttered Intentions, about simple things you can do to: Create organization and order in your personal space Cultivate spaciousness and peace inside of yourself Release the opportunity to bury yourself in busyness Understand your patterns and ways of relating to the world Create order in your routines Curate your thinking patterns in a way to create gratitude, appreciation, and contentment. Connect with your dreams so that you can design a sanctuary within your home that nourishes you from the inside out. I hope that these ideas and activities help YOU use this special, quiet time to move forward on your journey of growth. All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Ps: One of the resources I mentioned in this episode is my "What's Holding You Back" assessment, that gives you insight into your personal strengths and growth opportunities in a variety of domains. Text "GROW" to 55444 if you'd like to take it. xoxo, LMB

20 Huhti 202041min

#193 - Finding Balance — with Dr. Michele Gelfand

#193 - Finding Balance — with Dr. Michele Gelfand

FINDING BALANCE: We want to have everything. We want and need to have rules and structure to protect us and guide our lives. Yet we also crave freedom and independence. We long to have empathy and compassion in our relationships,but we also want to be challenged so that we can grow. Finding Balance In All Things Tight vs. Loose. Protective vs. Forgiving. Planning vs. Being Present. Everything we do exists on a continuum, a spectrum of finding balance between extremes so that we can create a healthy path on every level. Dr. Michele Gelfand is the author of "Rule Makers, Rule Breakers: How Tight and Loose Cultures Wire Our World," she's been on the stage of TedEx, she's been featured on The Hidden Brain podcast, and now she's here with me to share her wisdom with YOU. I hope her fascinating insights help you find a healthy balance in your life. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

13 Huhti 202057min

#192 - Couples and Money

#192 - Couples and Money

Let's face it: Couples and money is a hot-button issue for many relationships. Sooner or later, all successful long-term couples need to work together to figure out how to communicate productively about money so that they can get on the same page and create a shared financial future. This is not always easy under the best of circumstances.  Now, many couples are facing financial uncertainty or even a financial crisis (thanks coronavirus). It's more important than ever to be working as a united team around finances so that your relationship stays strong and healthy... even if your bank account takes a hit. To help you have constructive, drama free conversations about money with your partner, I've invited my colleague Meagan Terry to give us the scoop on exactly what to do (and what NOT to do) in order to have loving, respectful, and effective conversations about finances that create unity and connection.  Meagan is a highly experienced marriage counselor who has helped countless couples stop financial conflict and get on the same page around money. Now she's here for YOU. Listen, and get  her actionable tips you can start using today! With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

6 Huhti 202054min

#191 - Protect Your Career From Coronavirus

#191 - Protect Your Career From Coronavirus

ADVICE FROM A CAREER COACH | In addition to everything else in your life being upended by the coronavirus pandemic, you probably have a slew of new "coronavirus career anxieties" in addition to the usual coronavirus anxiety that's buzzing inside everyone right now. Many people are very worried about their career future right now. Many jobs have been lost to coronavirus, and with the threat of recession, there may be more layoffs to come. (Read: Coping With a Layoff) For those among us lucky enough to have stable employment, we now figure out how to maintain our professionalism via online video meetings, work from home while balancing childcare, homeschooling and more. In times like these it's absolutely normal to be worried about work, and help is here. Advice From a Career Coach Today I've tapped a couple of my career coaching colleagues to discuss important questions like:  What to do if you lost your job How to get a bridge job right now if you need one How to use this time to develop yourself professionally and make long term career plans How to protect your long-term career goals from coronavirus, if they're getting derailed right now Managing anxiety about your career Best practices when working from home for online video meetings Balancing work and life when you're working from home And more!   Join us for some timely coronavirus career advice on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

30 Maalis 20201h 7min

#190 - Coping With Coronavirus Life: Your Questions, Answered

#190 - Coping With Coronavirus Life: Your Questions, Answered

Coronavirus anxiety? Struggling with the new reality of "Corona Life?" You're not alone. I recently polled some of my tribe on Instagram to see how they were doing mentally and emotionally during the Coronavirus crisis we are all experiencing together. In efforts to help you manage Coronavirus anxiety and cultivate emotional resilience, I am devoting this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast to addressing your questions about coping with "Coronavirus Life" in order to provide new ideas and direction. Specifically: "I am freaking out about Coronavirus. How do I stop worrying about getting sick? Or being worried that people I love will get Coronavirus?" "I'm having anxiety about separation during the Coronavirus quarantine, and I am so sad about being cut off from everyone. What do I do?" "What are some of the best self-care strategies for dealing with Coronavirus stress?" "Being cooped up at home with my spouse is taking a toll on my relationship. How do we handle the stress of this situation without damaging our relationship?" "I'm so worried about my financial future thanks to Coronavirus. What do I do?" "Coronavirus has destroyed my life. I can't deal with the uncertainty of not knowing what is happening." I'm answering these listener questions and sharing some special, free resources for my listeners (You!!) on this episode. I hope this discussion and the resources I'm sharing helps you find new coping skills, and practices that help build a firm foundation of emotional resilience inside yourself right now. Wishing you all the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

16 Maalis 202047min

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