Hwaet a Movie - Episode 6 - Beowulf (2007)

Hwæt a Movie is back! This time we dive deep into the uncanny valley epic Beowulf from 2007. Released at the height of Robert Zemeckis's motion-capture mania, this version of our favorite Old English classic promised to bring the poem to life like never before. It was slated to be an event like no other, at least for John and Andy.

In this star-studded and CG-saturated film, Ray Winstone voices a Beowulf who looks suspiciously like an action figure and swaggers like he just killed nine nicors. He's accompanied by the ageless Wiglaf, played by Brendan Gleeson. The great Anthony Hopkins plays a jovial but somewhat mad King Hrothgar, Robin Wright plays the deeply troubled Queen Wealhtheow, and John Malkovich does his best John Malkovich as Unferth.

But if we're honest, this is the Grendel family's movie from start to finish. Crispin Glover turns in a unforgettable performance as a Grendel who swells with anger and shrinks with vulnerability. Grendel's mother is a gold-dipped, shape-shifting femme fatale with stiletto feet. She's also very much Angelina Jolie. And then there's Grendel's little half-brother dragon. That's right, the dragon is part of the family!

Is this adaptation a clever deconstruction of heroism and myth-making? Or just an excuse to get Beowulf naked on an animated dragon? Zemeckis, Gaiman, and Avary take some bold liberties with the source material in this one, and we’re here to guide you through it all from the perspective of two curmudgeonly middle-aged medievalists.

As always, this episode of Hwæt a Movie includes a thorough summary and discussion of the film, a brief Q&A, and our final ratings: how well the film handles Beowulf, Grendel, and Grendel’s mother, plus our ever-important scores for faithfulness to the source and overall entertainment value.

Beowulf (2007) was a wild ride to discuss, and we hope you enjoy it half as much as Beowulf enjoys shouting his own name. Or at least as much as Zemeckis likes cleverly blocking Beowulf's bare bits from view with conveniently placed objects.

Once you’ve listened, let us know your thoughts. Is this the definitive Beowulf for the 21st century? Or just a fever dream in a damp cave?

And do you forgive us for being grumpy when it comes to Beowulf movies?

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All music taken from the film for this episode is written and produced by Glen Ballard and Alan Silvestri.