Love, Limits, and Delight: What Grace-Based Parenting Really Looks Like :: Cody Kimmel [Ep 546]

Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him.

17 Maalis 201740min

Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him.

9 Maalis 201740min

Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him.

6 Maalis 201744min

Today I’ve invited two gals to the kitchen table. We’re chatting about some good-hard topics. Like a good workout, this was a conversation we did and didn’t want to have. Praise the Lord, “shame” is no longer taboo. More and more people are willing to be vulnerable and share their struggles. And women are finding freedom from the thoughts of unworthiness replaying in their minds. Since I’m confident Brene Brown’s research and writings stimulated this movement. Here are her words on the topic: I define shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging – something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection. I don’t believe shame is helpful or productive. In this conversation, Misty, Stephanie & I talk about how often inward shame leads to outward perfectionism. And eventually that can lead to (a new-to-me term) smiling depression. As women of faith we can take our thoughts of unworthiness and exchange them for the Truth of what Christ has done for us. We can rest in His worthiness on our behalf. And rest in God’s pleasure over us. Believing He is for us and there is nothing we can do to earn or lose His love. Thank you Misty for being brave and sharing your story. Thank you Stephanie for sharing your own struggles and professional insight. May we show one another grace and freedom, so that no one suffers alone. May more women gather around tables and have similar conversations (sign up here to host a GCM podcast club). In this hour we chat about: Inner shame talk and the burden of unworthiness. Smiling depression Believing the lie of not good enough Becoming aware of our striving to gain worth. What steps to take in healing shame/perfectionism/depression. Finding safe community to be vulnerable. Allowing a counselor to help you find more freedom. What makes someone move through shame and why do others get stuck in it. How shame impacts 17-24 year olds. Two practical activities to increase awareness of other’s love and God’s love towards you.

27 Helmi 201759min

Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him.

20 Helmi 201753min

Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him.

13 Helmi 201745min

Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him.

4 Helmi 201741min

I know I should parent with grace (a.k.a. “unmerited favor”). But I struggle with how to combine grace & discipline. When a little guy smacks his brother upside the head, I don’t want to ignore it or explode over it. But I could use some help with alternative responses to be “my best when my kids are at their worst”. This week’s guest, Karis Kimmel Murray, grew up in the original grace-based home. Her father, Dr. Tim Kimmel, literally wrote the book on grace-based parenting.** As a mom to two girls, Karis knows the challenges of showing both unmerited favor and appropriate boundaries. Particularly since one of her daughters has been diagnosed with ADHD. (I adore reading parenting books by moms who get it!). In this episode Karis and I talk through some practical ways to approach misbehavior, like her “Basket Method” and “The 10 Year Rule”. “Those behaviors come from your child but they don’t define your child. It’s not who they are it’s what they are doing right now.” We also talk about discovering how each family member is wired, using their Kid’s Flag system. And being clear about the rules and expectations in your home. Not making household preferences on par with Biblical/moral law. Her analogy of being a calm “first responder” will stick with me. Fortunately, Karis has written all these tips and concepts down in a very relatable and hilarious guide called, “Grace-Based Discipline”. What we chat about: The 10-year rule The theology of parenting Legalism vs. License vs. Grace Karis’ fun “mathematician” analogy Handling discipline crises like first responders The Basket Strategy What does atonement have to do with discipline? What country flag does each family member fly? Clarifying family rules Differentiating household rules from moral/Biblical rules Karis’ daughter’s diagnosis of ADHD and how it impacted discipline The level of offense and the “sushi menu” of consequences Links Mentioned: Family Matters Ministry Grace-Based Discipline (Kindle version)** Grace-Based Discipline (hardback) Grace-Based Parenting** by Dr. Tim Kimmel Kids Flag Page Karis’ Facebook page and Instagram **Amazon Affiliate Link

27 Tammi 20171h 6min