Lindy and Meagan are Two (HUNDRED) Years Old!

This week, Lindy and Meagan both realize that they've been having thoughts about dogs, which we're sharing in a new segment called DOG THOUGHTS. What if dogs could sweat? And what, exactly, is the nature of a dog's business?Then, we have a story from the Best Friend Party Phone about a piece of fan mail gone horribly wrong--a seemingly innocent letter traumatized a room full of fourth graders, teaching them the hard way that the Killer is real and he lurks everywhere. Even in your homework assignments. Lindy and Meagan go on to reminisce about their own experiences bothering celebrities in the 1990s, including one of the most legendary moments from their friendship lore: the time they met their late-night talk show host hero. Tune in to find out how much they scared him!And finally, your intrepid hosts discuss WHATCHA WATCHIN'???, a segment about whatch they watchin'. Spoiler alert: Lindy is watching Shogun and Meagan is watching true crime slop. But thank god for the slop, because Meagan has uncovered evidence suggesting that Keith THEE Morrison is not only a superfan of this podcast but subscribes to the Patreon as well. Delusional? You be the judge.⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPodAlso! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!Full videos of our episodes are on YouTube at @textlindyandmeaganbackYou can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

6 Kesä 202459min

What a day! Lindy delivers some hot hot hot breaking news: she's become a flat earther, for real, not a joke*, and you won't BELIEVE what finally pushed her over the edge, so to speak. (It involves one Instagram reel, two mysterious travelers, and an unconfirmed number of dragons.) Then, Meagan updates us on her DC swamp life in a new segment called "Oops, I Crapped My Real Job!" Find out what Meagan *personally* is doing to punish Justice Samuel Alito for being a naughty boy, featuring her Mean Mommy Business Voice on the mic at a bona fide press conference with real live congresspeoples! She got 'em! This is why she's so sleepy all the time!And lastly, Meagan and Lindy dispense trivial advice to listeners struggling with low-stakes problems. Nothing important, nothing stressful! Please don't ask for advice on your divorce, but they will tell you what color notebook to get!Is this both the funniest AND the most informative Text Me Back of all time? There's no way to know unless you download it and listen to the whole thing all the way through twice!*It is a joke⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPodAlso! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!Full videos of our episodes are on YouTube at @textlindyandmeaganbackYou can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

30 Touko 20241h 5min

This week, something has gone wrong with Meagan's brain and it's NOT a worm! It has something to do with finding an Amish dog named Kevin online, becoming hypnotized by his tiny bear face, then entering a fugue state and traveling to his location in Lancaster, PA with $850 in cash and the backing of literally dozens of listeners to purchase him. Is this an ethical way to acquire a dog? No. Was Kevin worth it? 100000%.Then, Lindy -- a connoisseur of oceanic news -- brings an aquatic story of great significance from one of our Nation's most trustworthy journalistic sources: Instagram reels. This story has everything: an air guitar contest, one or two chill brewskis at most, a man overboard, a creature of some kind, and a stick. Lindy and Meagan ponder what they'd do under similar harrowing circumstances, then rank sticks from worst to best.You won't want to miss this episode! We've already sent it to the Library of Congress for preservation!⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPodAlso! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!Full videos of our episodes are on YouTube at @textlindyandmeaganbackYou can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie connections, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

23 Touko 202449min

In this week's episode, Lindy reveals that her neighborhood bear is BACK, and his threat level has been upgraded to "habituated trash bear." No pic-a-nic basket is safe! Lindy also breaks her silence on a secret she's been keeping about the band Imagine Dragons, and Meagan finally addresses the elephant in the room: does Lindy... not listen to music?????Meagan reaches into the mailbag and shares an unhinged yet joyful letter (found by a listener) about public diarrhea and not quite making it to the Dairy Queen in time, which gets the gals reminiscing about college.Then it's a hard look inside the biggest story of the week, which is OF COURSE the worm that ate part of RFK Jr.'s brain and then died. Should the presidency have a No Brain Worms policy, or is that an ableist purity test? Is getting a brain worm the first likable thing about this man? Lindy and Meagan discuss!And finally, two big announcements for our Patreon subscribers! First, that Lindy and Meagan are going to let you pick their best-friends tattoo, literally. And second, that they'll be posting an episode-by-episode subscribers-only rewatch of Shrill! Listen for more info and subscribe if you want access to all the fun.Hope you love it, besties!The Glad Tidings Chorale is:Allegra MartinAndreas BelboeAndoodooHolly HartlineJennifer Darling-MellottKate HarringtonKiki PorterKendra ZzyzwyckOlivia SmithPhédre SchifanoRobert (@violadagoomba)Stephen O’Bent⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPodAlso! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!Full videos of our episodes are on YouTube at @textlindyandmeaganbackYou can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative wizard. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie connections, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

16 Touko 202459min

In this week's episode, Lindy and Meagan are comin' atcha LIVE from the Cascade PBS Ideas Festival with a very special celebrity guest: actor, comedian, girls' girl, Hollywoodlandman, and kind of a lawyer(!!!), Guy Branum! Meagan and Lindy trick Guy into giving up the goods on every single celebrity encounter he has ever had, including a drunken cab ride with a freestyle-rapping Zac Efron and a personal betrayal by the hottest gay in Hollywood. Then, Meagan and Guy turn their legal and comedic mega-minds to the most vital task in the war to save American Democracy: coming up with Real Housewives taglines for all nine members of the Supreme Court. Got 'em! Which justice does Guy declare to be a "messy bitch"? You'll have to listen to find out!Hope you love it, besties! ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPodAlso! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!Full videos of our episodes are on YouTube at @textlindyandmeaganbackYou can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our editor is Lindy West.Our music and mixing is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo (except for this episode, which Lindy had to try and "mix" herself because Aham is on vacation, so please do not blame him). Diana Bowen is our video and creative wizard. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie connections, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!Follow Guy on Instagram at @guybranum!Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

9 Touko 202445min

In this week's episode, Lindy and Meagan once again trick themselves into maybe becoming Christians?? Because Divine Providence has once again struck the podcast as holy connections are made between pubes, German composer George Frideric Handel, and the Text Me Backolytes who love them.Alas, Lindy and Meagan quickly dispense with beatification and instead turn to necromancy -- bringing back two old segments from the dead: "I Can Fix Her," a segment about purchasing little items that will fix your whole life, and "One Minute Hate," a segment about all the shit we hate, from Bobby Flay to shrimp, with an assist from our beloved listeners!Enjoy, besties!⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!Full videos of our episodes are on YouTube at @textlindyandmeaganbackYou can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our editor is Lindy West. Our music and our mixing is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative wizard. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie connections, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery. This week, we'd also like to specially thank Alex Rochester for running the old Text Me Back text club at KUOW where folks sent in their hate for today's segment.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

2 Touko 202459min

Hi Besties! It's here, the crossover episode the streets have been CLAMORING FOR! Sure, it was the streets of Longview, Washington, but the clamoring happened. We heard it....Anyway, this week Meagan and Lindy join forces with our besties Luke and Andrew from Too Beautiful to Live! We form a supergroup (eat it, Vedder!!!!!), fall victim to aesthetic pots and pans, catch an enormous spider, and ultimately get arrested for refusing to pay the barber at the Great Clips. ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod We hope you'll also keep checking out Luke and Andrew at Too Beautiful to Live, which is ALSO an independent podcast that could use your support! You can learn more at https://www.tbtl.net/. Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!You can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. This week, our editor and mixer was Andrew Walsh of TBTL. You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie connections, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery. This week, we'd also like to specially thank Luke Burbank, Andrew Walsh, Jon Skarloff, and Gary Payton.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

26 Huhti 20241h 1min

When the Best Friend Party Phone rings, Lindy and Meagan ANSWER. This week, we hear FROM YOU, our beloved Text Me Backolytes, with stories about the historical figures who make up the very Mount Rushmore of Text Me Back: a squirrel skull, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, and a horny ghost. We also introduce two very special new songs to the lore, including one from literal famous person -- and Lindy's former college classmate -- Robert.Most importantly, we both experience a pretty significant mental breakdown somewhere in the middle of segment one, so you won't want to miss that, AND Lindy and Meagan take a moment to walk down memory lane, which is located somewhere near the Edinburgh TGIFridays.⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!You can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our editor is -- you guessed it -- Lindy West. Our music and our mixing is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative wizard. You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie connections, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

18 Huhti 202449min