Why You’re Stuck in a Shame Spiral (and How to Get Out)

Shame spirals: we all know them, we all hate them, and most of us try to outrun them. In this raw, revealing, and hilariously honest conversation, Finn and Dr. Sarah break down what a shame spiral really is, where these intense emotional reactions come from, and why they often have deep roots in childhood patterns. Using Sarah’s real-life moment of “F-bomb shame” as a jumping-off point, the duo explores how old wounds get activated, why our reactions can feel so outsized, and what it takes to recover with compassion, clarity, and grounded truth.Takeaways

• Shame spirals often signal past trauma or early developmental wounds.

• Overreactions usually mean the present moment has touched an old story.

• Self-compassion is the antidote to shame—not self-punishment.“Pull the lens back”: most shame triggers aren’t life-altering in reality

• Healing requires understanding, kindness, and choosing not to re-abuse yourself.

Key Timestamps

• [00:00] – Welcome back: what shame spirals feel like

• [01:00] – Recognizing hidden vs. overt shame

• [02:00] – The “speaking regret” shame spiral

• [03:00] – Sarah’s F-bomb video story & activation

• [06:00] – Childhood memories that amplify present shame

• [10:00] – Tools: pulling back the lens, practicing self-compassion

• [12:00] – Finn’s shame around talking too much in groups

• [15:00] – Trauma origins of shame patterns

• [18:00] – Healing, compassion, and the parent-you-needed approach

Notable Resources & Guest Links

• Dr. Sarah Michaud, PsyD — Author of Co Crazy

• Leaving CrazyTown YouTube Channel

• Website: https://drsarahmichaud.com/

Subscribe, rate, and review Codependency Recovery: Leaving CrazyTown.Share this episode with someone who spirals into shame and needs real-talk tools to get out.

Codependency Recovery: Leaving CrazyTown is a raw, real-talk podcast hosted by Finn and Dr. Sarah Michaud. With humor, honesty, and a healthy dose of clinical insight, they tackle the chaos of dysfunctional relationships and offer real tools for healing. Subscribe wherever you listen and follow @LeavingCrazyTown on social media for more real-talk recovery content.