Don't Mom Alone Podcast

It’s not all sunshine and roses in marriage, even when both you and your husband follow Jesus. My guests today share about one of the most painful possibilities in a marriage —infidelity. My friend Jae tells her story of learning her husband had an affair and the work God did in both of their lives to restore their marriage. Licensed professional counselor Cheryl Scruggs shares about her infidelity, divorce, and eventual re-marriage, along with a lot of practical advice and scriptures she learned in the seven years she was separated from her husband. The main takeaway? HOPE. There is hope for your marriage. It’s not easy, because we’re all sinners, but God can heal and restore us when we surrender it all to him. For all of us in marriage, I think it’s important that we are paying attention. In John 10:10 it says that the thief comes kill, steal and destroy, but I have come to give you life and life abundantly. God wants us to have a great marriage, not easy, not perfect. But it’s really understanding we’re both sinners and how are we going to walk this walk together in this relationship as a sinner married to a sinner.  **If you are in a relationship where you or your children have been physically abused, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or http://www.thehotline.org. What we chat about: Cheryl Scruggs and Jae share their marriage stories. Discovering God’s plans for marriage. Hope for restoration in marriage even after an affair. How do you know if God is asking you to stay in a marriage? Trusting God with your spouse and being open to what he wants to teach you and show you. Understanding our role as a wife God has called you to be. Recognizing the situations where it’s necessary to leave a marriage (physical safety, lifestyle of infidelity). It takes time for healing in marriage. Physical intimacy throughout marriage conflicts. Balancing advice from friends and family with what God wants for your marriage. Biblical roles in marriage. Scriptures Mentioned: Eph. 3:20 – Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us Matthew 19:26 – Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Deuteronomy 8:1-10 – Be careful to follow every command I am giving you today, so that you may live and increase and may enter and possess the land the Lord promised on oath to your ancestors. Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands… For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land. [read full passage] John 10:10 – The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. Links Mentioned: Hope Matters Marriage Ministry Thriving Beyond Belief Podcast Cheryl and Jeff’s Book, “I Do Again: How We Found a Second Chance at Our Marriage–and You Can Too”** Song of Solomon: God’s Best for Love, Marriage, Sex and Romance DVD**  The Power of a Praying® Wife** The Ripple Effect of Healthy Sexual Connection Francie Winslow Ep 138 Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?** How to Save Your Marriage Alone**

26 Helmi 20181h 6min

We know that God’s word is living and active. Today’s guest Jodie Berndt takes us through using Bible verses as prayers that can powerfully influence your children’s lives. There is so much encouragement in this episode for standing on the truth of God’s word and relying on scripture to help shape your children, teens and adult children. Of course, we as moms can’t help but be changed when we hide his word in our hearts and pray them over our family. We know that he is a loving God who knows our needs and our kids’ needs better than we know them. So when we lift our children to him and surrender them, he’s going to do for them what he knows they need. It might not be necessarily in the timing or the ways that he would’ve ordained, but in Isaiah 55 it says that his ways are higher and better than our ways. When we come to believe that, it can really bring peace to our lives. What we chat about: Using God’s word for prayers is powerful. There isn’t a need we’ll face in parenting that God hasn’t provided for in his word. Specific scriptures to pray for your child’s salvation Asking God what we can nurture and pray for in each child’s unique giftings God will accomplish the changes in your child’s character. Our job is to partner with him. Praying against fear and for protection Asking God to shape your children into good friends Processing popular media with your kids and discussing how it aligns or doesn’t align with a Godly world view The power of having others pray for your kids in community When prayers aren’t answered the way we want, God is still writing their stories. Free resources available at https://jodieberndt.com/resources Scriptures Mentioned: Ephesians 4:29 – Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. John 15:7 – If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. Psalm 121:7-8 – The Lord will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. Acts 26:18 –  Open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me. 2 Corinthians 5:17 –  Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:[a] The old has gone, the new is here! Colossians 3:12 – Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Philippians 2:13 – for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. Psalm 91:11 – For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; Proverbs 17:17 – Shape my child into a friend who loves at all times Proverbs 27:17 – As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Proverbs 16:28 – A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends. Links Mentioned: Free resources available at https://jodieberndt.com/resources Praying the Scriptures for Your Children ** Praying the Scriptures for Your Teenagers** Praying the Scriptures for Your Adult Children**

19 Helmi 201846min

After 15 years of marriage, Jenn Jett experienced the pain of divorce. But in that place of brokenness, she felt peace that God would redeem and heal her as she said, “Yes” to him.  Listen as she shares her story about how the Lord pursued her, fought for her and surprised her more than she expected with his redeeming love. The Lord called me to himself and said, ‘Your hope does not need to be in the success of your marriage, it needs to be in me.’ We are so motivated by measures of success and we can look at our circumstances and either feel great or responsible and shameful. What we chat about: Jenn’s story of brokeness and pain in marriage and divorce Redefining redemption from God’s perspective Marriage and motherhood can become idols Saying Yes to the things of God can take us on an adventure The importance of community and friends as we process lies we’re believing The power of prayer and learning not to hold back in prayer Healing and restoration is possible even after what feels like a catastrophe The Lord pursues and fights for us through multiple ways Scripture: Isaiah 61 & 62 Finding our identity in Christ is so key before we have a hard life situation “31 Days for Prayer for the Dreamer and Doer“**  Links Mentioned: “Power of the Praying Wife”** Exodus 14:14 Lost Valley Ranch Israel Collective Val Marie Paper –Prayer Journal Enneagram — The Road Back to You** Kat Armstrong — Ep 171 Motherhood, Career & Identity  Camp Well Summit Instagram Camp Well Summit Spring 2018 Red Sea Rules by Robert Morgan** Red Sea Road with Ellie Holcomb

12 Helmi 201851min

Get ready for a huge pep talk from one of today’s biggest business personalities, Christy Wright. She shares some of her story and a whole lot of encouragement for women whether you own a business or not. If you struggle with guilt for taking time for yourself or prioritizing your time and saying no, Christy gives wisdom and practical advice to help you reframe your situation and move forward with confidence and kindness. What we chat about: Christy’s story of growing up with a single working mom who owned a business. Letting go of mom guilt and looking at time away from our kids as healthy and necessary. One of the most powerful things you can show your kids is how you take care of yourself. Never say anything about yourself that you don’t want your kids to say about themselves. Getting on the same page with your spouse about taking time away. Decision making paradigm shift and protecting your time. How to say “no” with confidence and kindness. Prioritizing your time around your goals, family and what you enjoy. An honest ‘no’ is better than a dishonest ‘yes’. The imposter syndrome and how it impacts women and high achievers. Take the first step even when you are fearful and it will start momentum to do even bigger things. Making baby steps to move out of a “stuck” place. Questions to ask to help identify your strengths:  What do you enjoy? What is effortless for you? Where do you excel in relation to others? What do others encourage in you? What gives you energy? “Business Boutique”**: Links Mentioned: Propel Conference Christy Wright’s Business Boutique podcast Darkest Hour–Winston Churchill Movie One Day Business Boutique Events

5 Helmi 201849min

When she got married, Jamie Ivey became a pastor’s wife. Stepping into this role made her feel there was no one who she could be fully open with about her past. But, keeping these secrets kept her in shame and insecurity. In her new book, If You Only Knew**, she shares how opening up about her past revealed the beauty of God’s grace in her life and about the freedom it has brought her and others. (If you want to hear my “If You Only Knew” story about anxiety and anger, check it out over on Jamie’s “The Happy Hour” podcast.) What we chat about: Jamie Ivey’s story reconciling her past with her Christian walk. How sharing your story can show the beauty of God’s grace and redemption. Examining our underlying motivation for decisions. We are not in control of our kids’ salvation and that is a good thing! How to find a friend who is safe to share your full story with and how to be that type of friend. We can have compassion for the broken when we realize that it’s only by the grace of God we haven’t made bigger mistakes. Bringing discipline with your kids back around to the Gospel because that’s where the freedom lies. The importance of community and allowing others to speak truth into our lives when we fall into places of shame and guilt. God sees the righteousness of Jesus and not our shame when he looks at us. When to tell our kids about our stories and how important it is to talk about sex and places of sin in our homes first. “If You Only Knew” book **: Links Mentioned: Mary Flo Ridley & Megan Michelson — Episode 153– Continuing the Conversation (Birds & Bees) The Birds & Bees, So Help Me Please — Mary Flo Ridley Celebrate Recovery Steps into God’s Grace by Lynn Hoffman** Recovery for Life –Lynn Hoffman Episode 129

29 Tammi 201847min

So much of parenting is really about the work God is doing in our own hearts. Jeannie Cunnion shares her story of being set free from the shame of her past and learning to let go of performance-based parenting. If you feel there IS something that separates you from the love of God, this is the episode for you. Jeannie shares encouraging truth and practical applications for giving ourselves and our kids grace. What we chat about: Why we need to be set free from shame of our pasts to live in the freedom of Christ. Jeannie’s story of a painful, short-lived marriage and the shame she carried from it. What performance-based parenting looks like. Shame-driven messages vs. grace-driven messages. We all have things that we believe will separate us from God, but he says nothing will separate us. Research about children who grow up in Christian homes. The importance of talking to our children about our failings and God’s grace. Creating a home of confession instead of a home of perfection. Acknowledge that we’re all going to make mistakes and that’s ok. Jeannie’s Three R’s: Remember, Rely and Recognize   Links Mentioned: Courtney DeFeo Jacque Watkins   Mudstory with Jeannie Cunnion–shattering shame and perfectionism Mom Set Free book** and Mom Set Free Bible Study** by Jeannie Cunnion How to {really} parent with grace Episode 55 Anchoring Our Kids’ Lovability in Christ Episode 91

22 Tammi 201843min

As an author, event planner, teacher, wife, mom of 10 and grandmother to 2, September McCarthy has plenty to fill her days. She relates to the universal exhaustion on our mom souls–the beating ourselves up and the fighting for joy.  September has so much wisdom to share from what God has taught her in seasons of busyness and motherhood in different stages. Listen as we go through questions from GCM listeners on motherhood topics including finding joy in the hard times, the value of rest and bringing your children alongside you in your work as a mom. As moms we are going to be tired. Might as well be tired over the things that bring you joy. And choose those things. What we chat about: September’s motherhood story including miscarriages & infant loss.  Answers to questions from moms like you. Focusing less on feeling the joy in your days and more on gratitude. When you are in the busy seasons of life, be cautious what you take on. Ask yourself, do I need to do this? Not letting our “fear of missing out” for children direct our decisions.  The importance of guarding our thoughts and taking negative thoughts captive. “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”  Romans 12:2 There is value and strength in rest and doing what God wants for your body. Find one to two moms who can help you when you need it. Let go of feeling like you need to everything well and enjoy it. Bringing your kids into you work as a mom and encouraging them to work as a team. Tips on teaching character to kids who want your attention all the time. Links Mentioned: Hope for the Struggling Mom September McCarthy on Episode 15    Why Motherhood Matters book ** Start a GCM Podcast Club Parenting Scripts by Wendy Speake & Amber Lia** What Triggers Your Angry Reaction Episode with Amber Lia

15 Tammi 201847min

If you’ve ever ended the day feeling like a failure and critiquing every misstep, then this episode on practicing self-compassion is for you. As a licensed marriage and family therapist and life coach, Kim Fredrickson has counseled and taught others about self-compassion for years. When she received an unexpected terminal diagnosis of pulmonary fibrosis, a rare side-effect of the treatment she had received for breast cancer, she wrote a book to leave for her children on giving that same compassion to the grandchildren she may never meet. When people feel ashamed, they blame other people because they feel like if I really look at my shame then I’m going to collapse inside. That’s why self-compassion is desperately important because kids feel shame a lot. They fail at everything at the start. What we chat about: Kim’s story of receiving a devastating diagnosis after completing treatment for breast cancer How she’s chosen to spend the years she has left with her family The new book she wrote for when her children have kids called “Give Your Kids a Break: Parenting with Compassion for You and Your Children” How it’s a process to develop a compassionate inner voice Applying grace and truth to every situation in our lives Variety of temperaments–some that are harder on themselves than others. The difference between self-compassion and self-pity Encouraging your children to practice self-compassion and reinforcing it by showing ourselves that same Giving our kids the language to identify their failings and separate them from their self- worth Moms have a really hard job. It’s ok to acknowledge that. The importance of taking care of ourselves as moms How to talk to your kids after you’ve been hard on yourself and reframing it with self compassion Links Mentioned: Kristi Clover — Simply Joyful Podcast Give Your Kids a Break : Parenting with Compassion for You and Your Children ** Give Yourself a Break **  Compassionate Self-Statements and Self-Soothing Exercises (CD and download) Kind and Compassionate Words to Soothe Your Soul  (Download)

8 Tammi 201849min