Do You Care Too Much What Other People Think of You? Avoid Conflict? Say Yes When You Shouldn't? | Dr. Ingrid Clayton, Fawning Expert

Do You Care Too Much What Other People Think of You? Avoid Conflict? Say Yes When You Shouldn't? | Dr. Ingrid Clayton, Fawning Expert

Practical tools to turn down the volume on fawning.

Dr. Ingrid Clayton is a licensed clinical psychologist with a master's in transpersonal psychology and a Ph.D. in clinical psychology. Her book is FAWNING: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves—and How to Find our Way Back.

In this episode we talk about:

  • What is fawning, actually
  • Chronic vs situational fawning
  • The physiological ramifications of fawning
  • How power plays into all of this
  • Ways to get clarity around unseen bruises and wounds that drive your behavior
  • Owning your anger – and how to express it in healthy ways
  • How to know if you're a fawner
  • Practical steps to unfawn
  • Accessible approaches to regulating your nervous system
  • How to set boundaries
  • Fawning and un-fawning in a work context, specifically
  • And her observation, which I've been thinking about a lot, that wounding happens in relationships… but so does healing

This holiday season, 10% Happier is teaming up with dozens of podcasts for an ambitious goal: to lift three entire villages in Rwanda out of extreme poverty. Join us by visiting GiveDirectly.org/Dan and supporting the #PodsFightPoverty campaign.



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Episoder(1015)

How To Succeed, Sanely—Without Toxic Productivity, Preconceived Notions, or Fear of Change  | Anne-Laure Le Cunff

How To Succeed, Sanely—Without Toxic Productivity, Preconceived Notions, or Fear of Change | Anne-Laure Le Cunff

What does success look like? A neuroscientist wants you to question your cognitive scripts.  Anne-Laure Le Cunff conducts research into the neuroscience of learning and curiosity at King's College Lon...

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How To Handle Exhaustion, Disconnection, and Physical Pain | Meditation with Bart van Melik

How To Handle Exhaustion, Disconnection, and Physical Pain | Meditation with Bart van Melik

A short, gentle body scan meditation from Bart van Melik, our Teacher of the Month for January. This isn't about fixing anything or achieving some special state. It's about finding one small place in ...

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Seth Meyers On: Handling Performance Anxiety, Managing the Inner Critic, Hacks for Better Conversation, and Staying Joyful in Dark Times

Seth Meyers On: Handling Performance Anxiety, Managing the Inner Critic, Hacks for Better Conversation, and Staying Joyful in Dark Times

Plus, much more from the famed late-night TV show host. Seth Meyers is the host of Late Night with Seth Meyers. Before that, he was a cast member on Saturday Night Live for 13 seasons. In recent years...

16 Jan 44min

The "Wellness" Industry Sells Us On Rigid Optimization. It Doesn't Work–But This Might. | Nidhi Bhanshali Pandya

The "Wellness" Industry Sells Us On Rigid Optimization. It Doesn't Work–But This Might. | Nidhi Bhanshali Pandya

A deep dive on Ayurveda, a sophisticated system for health that's been refined over millennia. Nidhi Bhanshali Pandya is a renowned NAMA-certified Ayurvedic Doctor, the bestselling author of Your Body...

14 Jan 1h 18min

Why You Don't Exercise Even Though You Know You Should. And Strategies To Get Over the Hump. | Katy Bowman

Why You Don't Exercise Even Though You Know You Should. And Strategies To Get Over the Hump. | Katy Bowman

A toolkit for bringing more movement into your life.   Katy Bowman is a biomechanist who runs a movement education company, called Nutritious Movement. She's the author of 11 books, and her most recen...

12 Jan 1h 17min

Buddhist Strategies for Protecting Yourself from Everyday Chaos | Bart van Melik

Buddhist Strategies for Protecting Yourself from Everyday Chaos | Bart van Melik

Ever lie awake at night replaying all the moments you lost it with your kids, your partner, or your co-workers? You're not alone. Bart van Melik is back on the show (his first appearance was four year...

11 Jan 33min

How To Rewrite Your Story, Make Peace with the Past, and Break Old Patterns | Melissa Febos

How To Rewrite Your Story, Make Peace with the Past, and Break Old Patterns | Melissa Febos

Practical ways to upgrade your narrative. Melissa Febos is the national bestselling author of five books, including Girlhood, Body Work: The Radical Power of Personal Narrative, and a new memoir, Th...

9 Jan 1h 8min

How To Use Psychology and Buddhism To Handle Your Inner Critic | Amita Schmidt

How To Use Psychology and Buddhism To Handle Your Inner Critic | Amita Schmidt

How psychology and spirituality can work together. Amita Schmidt is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Hawaii. She has taught Vipassana meditation for over thirty years, and was the Resident Teacher...

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