Episode 90: Talking to ChatGPT More Than Your Partner? Let's Talk About It.

AI is officially in the room. In this roundtable, I sit down with our Relationship Experts team to unpack how tools like ChatGPT are showing up inside real relationships. We explore Dr. Shirley Glass's "walls and windows" model and ask a crucial question: Is AI helping you open the window between you and your partner, or is it becoming a new window that pulls you farther apart? You will hear clinical stories, practical guidelines, and a simple litmus test to make sure AI supports connection instead of replacing it.

In this episode

• Why AI feels so validating and why that can be risky for couples

• "Walls and windows" explained for the AI era

• Two roles AI often plays in relationships

  • Replacement companion that siphons emotional energy away from your partner

  • "Judge of facts" that fuels suspicion and confirmation bias

• A healthy use case that actually deepens connection

• Four therapist-approved guidelines to use AI wisely without eroding trust

Timestamps

• 00:00 Welcome, and why we are talking about AI now

• 02:18 Program note and invitation for a free 45-minute consultation

• 03:55 Walls and windows model applied to AI

• 06:55 When AI becomes a "perfect listener" and the partner gets sidelined

• 17:20 AI as the "decider of truth" and how that inflames anxiety

• 19:52 A pro-connection use case: AI helps find your own words of appreciation

• 22:35 Key distinction: AI as a tool to foster connection, not replace it

• 24:32 The "easy dopamine" problem and the investment mindset

• 31:34 Why AI cannot deliver the art of therapy or real human presence

• 44:40 It is not about quick answers, it is about the therapeutic process

• 51:55 Is turning to AI a form of micro-betrayal

• 56:18 Quick self-check questions to keep the window between you open

• 58:04 Final guidelines and takeaways

Key takeaways

• Sharing equals connecting. When sharing shifts from your partner to AI, disconnection grows over time.

• AI can validate feelings quickly, but overuse can replace the effort that builds intimacy.

• Be cautious when you ask AI to "decide facts" about your partner. Limited inputs plus anxious questions often return fear-confirming answers.

• A healthy use of AI is as a tool that helps you find your own words so you can show up better with your partner.

• Think like an investor. Put time and vulnerability into the relationship that gives real returns.

Mentioned in the episode

• Not "Just Friends" by Dr. Shirley P. Glass — the "walls and windows" model that helps couples protect the boundary around their relationship.

• Concepts discussed: confirmation bias, emotional investment, human presence in therapy.

If you are healing after infidelity

This episode is sponsored by It's Okay to Stay, our 8-week infidelity recovery coaching program that combines a step-by-step online roadmap with personal one-on-one work with an Affair Recovery Specialist. If you want to stay together and heal, schedule a free 45-minute consultation: iditsharoni.com/45. We will understand your situation and see if the program is right for you.

Disclaimer

This podcast is educational and is not therapy. It does not substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.